Trudging through the never-ending canyon on rapidly receding adrenaline, the frightful night of running and the following flight over the heath finally caught up to Lori. Spirits were low in the company, to say the least, for no one had gotten enough rest, but Lori was the one who ached in every fiber of her being. Several places in the passage were narrow enough that she could support her weight on the walls with her arms to immense relief for her legs, and she was tempted to ask for rest even though she knew it would probably be disapproved of, coming from her.
The last thing she wanted was to look weak and not up to the task because of her 'inferior' sex, so she bit down on the pain, the fatigue and the general sweaty discomfort and continued to hobble along as best she could.
After an hour or so, Thorin fell back to walk behind her, taking up the rear guard from Nori. She felt herself tensing, knowing that he was probably watching her and her stomach started to do strange somersaults at the thought. Her mind kept bringing up the feeling of him pressing down on her and the way his voice had sounded as he spoke to her. A small smile crept onto her lips and stayed there, even as she ducked her head to hide it. She was very curious to why she felt this way when she thought of him. It was unsettling, yet somehow very exciting and it gave her a boost in energy when it surged through her.
Lori kept up the pace of the stout dwarves as well as she could, but still she slowly began to sag behind. When they reached a place where they had to climb, she suddenly found Thorin's strong hands lifting her up by the waist and she yelped loudly in surprise. She looked back at him when he let go, and almost caught sight of a very amused smile before he looked down at the rocky surface and climbed up himself, effectively hiding his face under his hair and beard.
She abruptly turned around and hurried on down the narrow corridor in the rock, entirely ignoring politeness by not thanking him for his help, but then again, it would probably be best to state that she was perfectly capable to overcome a bit of rock herself, and that she by no means needed his help in the first place. The notion that he would laugh at her for her less than graceful noise, however, was something that her pride didn't approve of. In fact it was even a bit hurtful for some reason.
But, she really didn't want to be rude, so she quickly decided to go back and thank him, whilst of course making sure he knew that he wasn't obligated to push or drag her up any rough terrain they might encounter.
The second she whirled about, she smacked into a solid chest with an "Oomph!".
"We can't keep bumping into each other like this," he smirked as he steadied her. "People will think it's on purpose."
"N- No, it wasn't," she collected herself and regained her balance. "I just wanted to thank you… And tell you that…" The words dried in her mouth when she saw the kind blue eyes looking at her in a bewildering sense of understanding mixed with amusement.
"Then why did you run?" He asked while releasing her shoulders and slowly running his large warm hands down her sleeved arms.
"I… I guess I got confused." Her stomach flipped and her heart skipped a few beats when he stepped even closer, holding her eyes transfixed with his.
"About?" It seemed impossible that a voice should be able to hit such deep notes that one's insides started to dance, but there it was. Lori's inner turmoil was mystifying and somewhat troubling to her, because she had never before, in all her years, had this reaction to anything or anyone.
"I must confess, I don't quite know what to say and do, when I'm in your company…" Her shy eyes found a spot on his tunic and focused on the threaded pattern. "I don't even know if I would offend you if I refuse your help, or if I'd make an ill impression if I accept it…"
"Lori," He interrupted her, making her look him in the eye again. "Are you uncomfortable with it? I'll stop if you don't want me to touch you."
"It's not that… It's just that I've never… Received help so easily before." Her head was a chaotic jumble of thoughts of the way his touches felt, her body's reactions, what the company might think, what Gandalf might think, what Thorin's intentions were and if there was some other meaning behind his actions. In her experiences, people seldom did anything out of the pure kindness of their hearts.
"You've never received assistance from Gandalf in your travels?" He frowned in puzzlement.
"You are not Gandalf." She blurted out before she could stop herself.
"Indeed I am not. Then do you mean to say that you distrust me in particular?" The blue of his eyes hardened and his hands seemed to tighten their grip.
"No. No, I trust you. Really, I do… I know that you are honorable… And strong. And that you care deeply for your people," With every honeyed word he softened and was slowly drawn nearer to her. "And that you'd protect me from harm… And that I'm safe with you…"
"Mmm hmm…" He agreed as his eyes flickered to her lips. Lips, that she unconsciously moistened when his attention was drawn to them. His brows drew together as if he was solving a great mystery whilst warring with himself over some dilemma.
"I guess I'm just not used to this… feeling." Her heart was pounding and Thorin was a breath away from her, lifting his eyes to hers as if asking permission for something. "It's very… big…"
The corners of his lips lifted slightly and his voice was husky when he answered, "It is, isn't it?"
Lori's eyes widened at the terrible pun she had just made, and she was just about to start backpedaling when he stopped her with a finger under her chin.
"Shh, don't worry," his eyes were lidded pools of blue silver. "I feel it too. This… Pull."
"Thorin!" Dwalin's voice echoed through the passage, around a bend where the others had disappeared. "Everything alright back there?"
He let out a breath he'd been holding and stepped back. "Fine! We're coming!"
Lori felt dizzy and disoriented by the abrupt loss of the magnetism that had kept her in Thorin's gravity for the last few minutes.
"We'd better move. Wherever Gandalf's taking us, he seems intent on getting us there before nightfall. Come, Lori, keep up." He held a hand out to help her up another boulder, but didn't release it once she'd climbed it. Whether it was for the sake of dragging her along faster or to hold on to a bit of their moment together, she did not know, but she kept his hand in hers nevertheless.
When his thumb stroked the back of her hand in a slow rhythm, she blushed and smiled straight into the air, until they turned around the bend and she saw the company a bit further up the ravine. Dwalin had a fierce scowl directed at them without any sort of restraint. He was a scary dwarf when he saw fit to turn his anger at someone, and right now Lori seemed to have fallen from his favor.
"Thorin!" She whispered. "You can let go now…"
He glanced at her with a questioning frown, but did as she said, just as he had promised. He did keep close to her, though, and supported her back lightly when her step faltered. After a few missteps on her bad ankle, Lori accepted it and he seemed to let go of a bit of tension when she smiled her thanks at him.
"What's the hold up?" Dwalin asked Thorin gruffly when they caught up to the others who'd all paused to see where their leader had gone.
"An injured ankle. Keep moving."
Dwalin grunted and did as ordered, but shot Thorin a warning look before he turned around. One that Thorin returned with a hard stare that soon had Dwalin backing down and minding his own business for now.
They walked for most of the afternoon and by the time they finally reached the opening in the rock wall that led out to Rivendell, Lori had almost started to wish for the arrival at the elven city herself. Almost.
The fact that she was terrified of meeting the elves again in the company of her newfound friends, who knew nothing of her paternal heritage, made itself more and more known to her with every step she took towards the Last Homely House. It gnawed at her conscious that she hadn't told at least Thorin about it even after swearing to be honest with him, and there was no doubt in her mind that he would feel betrayed by her if he should hear it from those he considered to be enemies of his people.
But wishing for it or not, Imladris appeared before them, just as the sun was about to set over the western mountain ridge, bathing everything in brilliant pastels and draining fear and discomfort from the minds of the beholders. This was a haven created for the solace and peace of all good creatures in Arda, and the absolute serene beauty of the view gave such pleasure to the eye that the mind could not possibly fret here, unless of course you were a dwarf and distrusted everything to do with elves.
Lori heard Thorin's accusation at Gandalf and dreaded that he would end up abandoning the wizard and herself because of the deceit.
She understood his anger towards Gandalf completely. The wizard had played him for a fool and led him to the exact people he never wanted to face. Granted, the circumstances were dire and he hadn't had a real choice, but he should have informed their leader of their whereabouts the minute he knew that Imladris was an inevitable stop on their journey.
She also understood that Thorin'a reactions were magnified because he made a large and quite crude generalization by putting Lord Elrond's house under the same category as Thranduil's, just because they shared the same race. As a dwarf, who considered all other dwarven clans to be a part of their close-knit society with their hidden kingdoms and their secret language and culture, he was unlikely to understand that Thranduil's betrayal of the line of Durin had nothing to do with Elrond and Rivendell. And so this was why Thorin's trust in Gandalf suffered an even greater blow by the old man's ambidextrous actions.
There was only one person in the company who purely saw Rivendell with all of the wonder and joy that Lori remembered experiencing herself on her first visit here. Bilbo looked absolutely awestruck as he beheld the wondrous architecture and nature that seemed to mold around it in a gentle embrace.
"Amazing, isn't it?" She asked him when he gazed over the valley.
"Yes… It truly is." He sighed. "I never thought I'd get to meet the elves. Even as a boy I always wanted to see them."
"Just you wait, Bilbo." She smiled and patted his shoulder as she pushed ahead, starting the group's motion once more.
They entered the courtyard and Gandalf started to talk to the greeting elf whilst Lori felt eager to point out the statues, buildings and artworks to Bilbo that she knew from her former visits. Of course, if she did so, everyone would know immediately that she hadn't been entirely truthful with them, and that wasn't the way she wanted to break it to them. So she kept quiet for now.
There was a sound of an elvish horn and the clatter of many horse hooves coming across the bridge towards them, and suddenly Lori felt herself being pushed into the center of the group along with Bilbo and Ori, as Thorin shouted to close ranks.
She was about to protest the rude treatment, when she spotted Elrond among the riders and instantly shut her mouth and pulled her hood up. When the majestic elf-lord dismounted and greeted her mentor, she was glad of her diminished height, seeing the question in his eyes as to her whereabouts. He glanced across the group and when he caught her eye she almost panicked. Her eyes widened and her breath hitched in her throat, but Elrond only gave an imperceptible frown before he nodded his head slightly and turned towards the front of the group.
Just then, Thorin stepped forward and distracted his attentions, making it clear and known that if the elf-lord wanted to talk to someone in the company, it would be him. Lori breathed a sigh of relief, even as Thorin did his best to insult the great Lord by feigning ignorance to his identity.
When the offer of food was made and the dwarves turned to counsel whether they should take it or not, she had trouble holding back her smile. As if they would really turn down food! And just as she'd prophesied the dwarves accepted, albeit with great complaint about both the food and the music that was offered to them.
After dinner, consisting of salad, a main course of roasted boar and waffles with berry compote for desert, no dwarf, hobbit or wizard could eat another bite, despite the skepticism that had been displayed at first. The elf, Lindir, came to collect the men and an elleth by the name of Mariel asked Lori to follow her in the other direction. She collected her things and was about to comply when she was stopped by a hand on her arm.
"No." Thorin looked straight at the elleth and kept a firm but gentle grip on Lori. "She stays with us."
Mariel looked surprised, but asked in a neutral voice, "You mean to bathe together, my Lord?"
Thorin turned a lovely shade of puce and released his hold. "No. But I will not leave a member of my company unguarded." He crossed his arms and turned a stony glare on Mariel.
Lori was about to point out that she wasn't an official part of his company when Mariel continued, "I will post guards at your lady's door, then. Or, if you prefer, you may post guards of your own?"
His lady?
"I prefer that she stay and that she will bathe in our facilities in privacy," came the gruff answer.
"I'm afraid that's not possible. Our facilities are very open, as are all of our structures. This is why we have offered your lady her own quarters."
Now wait a minute!
Thorin seemed to think this over for a minute. "I see. Then I will need to know where you're taking her so I can post a guard."
Why isn't he correcting her?
"Of course, my Lord. I will take your Lady to her chamber where there will be a bath drawn for her. It's located by the blood oak on the other side of that courtyard." Mariel bowed her head politely and took her leave, expecting Lori to follow her without question.
She just shrugged and smiled sideways at Thorin. "I could do with a bath…" She said. "I think we all could?"
With a wink, she ran a few steps to catch up to the long-legged elleth before she turned a corner and was gone from his worried sight.