Night was falling and Lori had made good time that day. It had taken her a bit of effort to track down her clothes and armor due to the fact that the elves had taken them away for cleaning, being the gracious hosts that they were. They'd provided her with plenty of way-bread and thick blankets so she would be as comfortable as possible on her trip across the mountains.
She had eaten what she could, but felt her stomach clench every time thoughts of the previous evening crossed her mind, and she'd shed bitter salted tears on her lembas throughout the meals of the day. The unfairness that something with such magnificent potential had been killed at birth hit her over and over, and the pain of it didn't get easier as she progressed. Her journey compelled her forward, but her heart and mind seemed to insist going around in circles.
After stumbling a few times on her still sprained ankle, and with the terrain getting ever rockier, she had decided to stop and bind her foot. As she sat for a moment and took a sip of water, she realized that her preoccupation with things past would likely get her killed when she got to the mountains, if she didn't pull her head out of wherever it was lodged and paid attention to her surroundings. As upset as she was with Thorin, he would not get to see her kill herself over him.
Even if he might actually find some joy in it, the bastard. It baffled her how she could have been so wrong about him, how she could have seen such strength and love, only to find the cowardly prejudice of a narrow-minded bigot.
Her tears started up again and poured silently down her blotched, snotty face. She had a feeling not even Gandalf would recognize her if she met him, so swollen were her eyes.
No. She took a deep breath and stood up, wiping her face in defiance. Enough of tears. She would have adventure in her life instead of love, witness history instead of dreaming of tender caresses, gain riches and gold instead of family and children. So be it.
Now, for firewood, shelter and a good night's sleep.
..o00Ô00o..
"You have your answer, Thorin Oakenshield, to what is hidden in your map. You are invited to a meeting with us in the morning to discuss your further journey. But for now, a feast is prepared for you and your company." Lord Elrond waved him in the right direction in a magnanimous way, ignoring the clenched jaw of the dwarf king.
Gandalf exchanged a worried glance with Elrond, but only got the elven equivalent of an mystified shrug in return.
"Bilbo, my good man," The gray wizard put a hand on the hobbit's shoulder. "Would you be so kind as to fetch Lori for this feast? I'm sure she wouldn't want to miss a good meal, if I know her right."
"Of course I will! It would be a terrible shame if she went hungry." He padded off quickly, eager to get another chance to explore a bit of Rivendell.
Still, Thorin said nothing, but his scowl got deeper at the mention of Lori and this didn't go unnoticed by Gandalf. When Elrond had left them on their path to the quarters, Gandalf turned to the dwarf in suspicion.
"What has you in such a particularly unpleasant mood tonight, Thorin, son of Thrain?" He wondered.
"What business is it of yours?" He spat.
"Perhaps none… But if it pertains to my ward, her happiness and well-being, then I would say that it is very much my business, wouldn't you?" A raised, wizened eyebrow and a crystal blue gaze pierced Thorin's anger for a second and left him stunned. He hadn't thought about Gandalf taking offence on Lori's behalf. Not that it mattered. He was the one betrayed, not the other way around.
His sullenness draped him as a cape once more. "I was merely thinking of the elves. How they corrupt love and friendship at every turn with their deceit and calculations." He stomped off and left Gandalf glaring at his back, trying to figure out what he'd meant by that – where did this new malice in his words come from, and was Lori the trigger of it, or was it merely Elrond's suggestion of discussing their quest that had set him off?
"I think, perhaps it's time I talked to Lori…" He mused, and set off after Bilbo.
When he arrived at her room, he heard the uncharacteristic sound of a shouting hobbit. To be fair, it had happened more often than usual since the dwarves had entered Bilbo's life, but this was an unbridled sort of anger that baffled the old wizard. "What do you MEAN she's not here? She was bloody well put in this room yesterday! Did she move rooms?"
"My lord hobbit. All I can say is that Lady Lori is no longer here. We did not appoint her new quarters, and as you can see, all of her belongings are gone. I'm merely here to clean. Excuse me, please." Came the silky reply of an elleth who was in the process of changing the sheets on the bed.
"But… Gandalf!" He spotted him and quickly made his way to him. "Lori's missing! Nobody seems to know where she is!"
"Oh? That's odd. She's not in the habit of running off… Perhaps we should ask around." He mused.
"I'm telling you, Gandalf. Something's not right. She seemed upset earlier, but I didn't really talk to her about it. Oh, what if something terrible's happened and I could have stopped it?" He wrung his hands and looked enormously upset.
"Now now, dear Bilbo, let's not despair at the mere lack of knowledge. I'm sure we'll find her." He padded the hobbit's shoulder, though he didn't feel reassured himself. He'd never known Lori to disappear without word.
"Maybe we should ask Thorin?" Bilbo ventured.
"Thorin? Why do you say that?"
"Well, I saw him visit her yesterday after bath-time. He might have talked to her." He failed purposefully to mention that the dwarf-king had been wearing only a robe and his steel-tipped boots. No need to bring it up in case it was normal custom for a dwarf, but as a hobbit he did find the image uncomfortably… private.
"And she was upset this morning, you say?"
"Umm, yes. Looked as if she hadn't slept a wink, in fact." Bilbo realized.
"Hmm. I think maybe we should inform the leader of the company that a member of his group is missing. Would you be so kind as to provide him with the information, Bilbo? In the meanwhile, I will try to locate her with a little help." Gandalf nodded him in the direction of the feast hall.
"Good idea!" He started. "Ehm… Any idea how I should break it to him? –He's not too fond of me to begin with, and he's been positively explosive today."
"Perhaps an announcement to the whole company is best." Gandalf winked and the hurried down the corridor of vines and carved espaliers.
"Right… Here we go." Bilbo said to himself and ran towards the voices of feasting dwarves.
When he reached the hall it took him a moment to find an available chair to stand on, raising himself over the raucous.
"Everyone! May I have your attention for a moment, please?" He was a polite and somewhat shy hobbit, so it took him a few tries to reach a volume where anyone even took notice of him.
"OY!" Dwalin bellowed. "The Halfling wants to make a speech!"
Various shouts and encouragements increased the noise for a moment before Bilbo gained the ability to hear his own voice. "Speech! Speech! Speech!" among them.
"I've just found out that Lori's missing. She's not in her room, and neither are her belongings. Have any of you seen her since lunch today?" He asked. Suddenly you could hear a pin drop in the hall, and all eating and drinking had ceased.
Thorin stood up slowly, as if forcing himself to hold his temper. Not an unusual thing for him, Bilbo wagered.
"Well? Has anyone seen the woman?" He repeated. A chorus of bewildered faces and head-shaking greeted him.
"Gandalf has gone seeking help in finding her." He didn't say the word elf, but it was implied. "If anyone remembers seeing her this afternoon, please say where so that we may find her."
"I saw her in the library with you, mister Bilbo," Ori piped up. "But that was ages ago, and she looked a fright then." Thorin's eyes snapped to him and Ori shrank back a bit under his glare.
"Explain." He said.
"If I may?" Bilbo tried to take the heat of Thorin's mood off of poor Ori. "She looked as if she hadn't slept all night, and her face was blotchy and swollen as if she'd been crying… Though I can't imagine what she'd have to cry over?" The last part was phrased as a pointed question at Thorin. Hobbits may not be particularly brave, but they were fiercely loyal, and at the moment, Bilbo had a sneaking suspicion that Thorin was the cause of his friend being upset. "She was blue in the lips and her hands were freezing, but worst of all; She had no appetite whatsoever!"
An upset mumble broke out around them as Bilbo and Thorin shared a hostile look that clearly called out a challenge between them to tell the full breath of their knowledge. Unfortunately, Bilbo was an amateur at this and the strength of Thorin undeniable, so he crumbled under the stare and climbed down from the chair.
"Could the elves have kidnapped her?" Nori asked.
"Well, they ARE fond of pretty things…" Balin reasoned.
"Absolutely not!" Was Bilbo's response. "Lord Elrond would never allow that!"
"But what if it was someone we don't know?" Fili added.
"Cursed knife-ears! Now they kidnap us?" Gloin spat.
"We don't know that yet," Dori said calmingly.
"Khazad abod amuriz!" Bifur cursed.
"I… I really don't think she's been abducted." Ori said. "Why would they take her things?"
"Never trust an elf!" Dwalin shouted.
"Where could she have gone?" Kili said. "I don't like this. She's bound to get herself into trouble."
"What did he say?" Oin shouted, trying to get his hearing aid to actually aid him for once.
"Perhaps she's off practicing magic or whatnot somewhere private?" Bofur suggested.
"How about we take some food and go look for her?" Bombur added.
"ENOUGH!" Thorin shouted, making the room go silent once more. "She has left the company and we shall bother her no more. I talked to her last night, and truths were revealed that made it clear that she is not one of us." He was met with expressions ranging from incredulous, horrified and outraged to confused, baffled and shaken.
"What truths?" Ori demanded.
Thorin sighed. "Her father is an elf. She is an elf. And as you say yourselves, one should never trust an elf, so I banished her from my side."
The silence was ear-numbing for a long while, while the dwarves thought this over.
"You damn fool." Balin finally said through his white beard. "She left Rivendell on her own because of you, and where do you suppose she's gone from here, hmm? 'Cause I'm willing to bet it's not back to the safety of the Shire."
A chill ran down Thorin's spine as he realized what she might have done. She would have wanted to see their quest fulfilled, possibly even taking it on by herself to prove her loyalty and worth to him. It was suicide. The thought of her body lying broken and bleeding at the bottom of a mountain ravine almost made him physically ill.
"Thorin, do you have any idea what creatures live in the mountains between here and Erebor?" Balin continued. "I know the way, but she doesn't. And the mountains have long been overrun by goblins, orcs and wargs. It would take a miracle for a lone lass to survive that!"
They mustn't know I cared for an elf. They'll never trust me again. "Then we will pray to the stone to keep her safe. Perhaps our paths will cross again someday." Please Mahal, make it so. Don't let her perish at my hand. "The map we translated tonight told us to be at the entrance to the mountain on Durin's day, so we must leave before sunrise and make haste if we are to succeed."
Balin gave him a shrewd look, knowing that there was plenty of time till Durin's day to make it there.
"That's it?" Bofur challenged. "You're just going to let Lori wander off into who knows what dangers, and not do a thing about it?"
"The she-elf has made her decision. I cannot force her to do anything but what she desires." Thorin stated. "I am not her keeper."
"But..!"
"Eat up! Rest. We leave at first light!" He sat down and the company finished their meal in a somber mood that gave witness to the worry they all felt for their fairest companion. Not many words were shared for the rest of the evening.
..o00Ô00o..
When dawn threatened to arrive, Thorin was already up and packed for the journey. Sleep had mostly eluded him throughout the night, and the few winks he'd gotten, had lent his mind to terrors of seeing Lori in great despair in the mountains. Injured, dead, frozen, captured. The possibilities of his vivid fear were too endless to endure. So when the hobbit lingered to stare longingly at the elf-home as they crossed the bridge, his patience –or lack thereof – commanded him to hurry Bilbo along.
Gandalf had approached him in one of the dreams, interrupting yet another nightmare, saying he was detained by the white counsel, and that he would meet up with them three day's journey into the mountain.
His precious ward was missing, and he sat with elves and talked politics instead of looking for her? Thorin was greatly offended by this, but couldn't voice his opinion to anyone, lest they start to question why he cared so much. And he did. He finally realized that the feelings he had for her weren't going to go away overnight. If the stone in his heart was any indicator, it was obvious that Lori had settled into it firmly and comfortably, and now she was i great danger.
Blight take the woman, but he loved her.
..o00Ô00o..
If you reviewed last chapter, this one is written because of you ;) I hope you enjoyed it, and please let me know what you think!