The dwarves set out from Rivendell and headed towards the rising sun, each and every one of them soaking in the warmth and the spectacular view of colors coming to life over the Misty Mountains. When the first rays of light peeked over the horizon, every drop of mist and cloud set ablaze in flaming oranges, pinks and purple hues, enveloping the land in breath-taking magic that perforated even the most stubborn and hardy dwarf and made him sigh, albeit reluctantly, at the beauty.
Birds and bugs gradually came to life along with the light, and spirits were high among the company. The elven home had been hospitable, serene and luxurious in every sense of the word, but none of the dwarves had felt at home among the flimsy-looking structures, the organic lines and the wide open spaces. They'd feel better as soon as they had solid rock around them, and preferably above them as well, and so were eager to leave Rivendell far behind.
As the day matured Thorin set a rigid pace for long hours, and the rolling hills slowly turned to ridges, the valleys to chasms and the soft fog into the jagged peaks of the Misty Mountains above a shroud of clouds. The stone of the mountain was growing closer and every dwarf in the company felt its pull. Even so, there were stirrings of discontent as the miles went swiftly underfoot. None would protest loudly for fear of accusations that they missed the soft elven beds, but they didn't quite hold their tongues either. It just wasn't their way. Grumbles and underhanded complaints were uttered to no one in particular, mumbled in beards and under breaths.
Thorin knew that he was pushing them too hard, but couldn't bring himself to lessen his tempo. Every moment that they drew closer to the Misty Mountains, so would Lori. There were only a few paths she could have taken across the mountain range, but he guessed that she might not have taken the Great East Road pass if she'd wanted to stay hidden from them.
He had consulted Balin on the geography of the region, and had been informed that there was another, smaller but also riskier path to the High Pass, north of the old road. That was the pass she would have taken if she'd known of it, and considering what Bilbo had told them of her affinity for books on the history and maps of Middle Earth, he believed she might. Unfortunately, old books didn't say anything about the recent infestation of goblins in the Misty Mountains, so that tidbit of information was something his treacherous little sorceress was probably ignorant of.
And she was heading straight into it.
"Let's pick up the pace!" He shouted, when he saw that he was getting ahead of the group again. There was a collective groan, and Balin broke into a rolling, thumping run to catch up to him.
"Wait up, Laddie!" He called as he panted and got within talking distance of their leader.
Thorin did as requested, but with an urgent sense to hurry to the mountain that he kept looking longingly at. If he'd been an elf, perhaps he would have been able to see Lori on the horizon, but as a dwarf, he was more likely to find her in the dark than over great distances. The foreboding feeling that he was going to be late made his nerves stand on edge, even though one would not know it to look at the stoic king.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Well, to be honest, the lads are starting to wonder if you're trying to run them into the ground? We've been going at this mad speed since before dawn without food nor rest, and if you'll take notice, the sun is in the west by now," Balin pointed out. "Now I know for a fact that Durin's day is far enough off for us to get to the Lonely Mountain in time, but even if it wasn't, do you think we'd make it there in any shape to reclaim Erebor if we ran this fast the entire way?"
Thorin leaned his hands on the hilt of Orcrist and looked to the ground in contemplation for a moment. Balin had a valid point, but then again he didn't know the real reason for Thorin's haste.
"Very well," Thorin said to Balin and raised his voice for the rest to hear without eavesdropping. "We'll need to refill our water skins. We break for lunch at the next creek we find…"
"Found it!" The hobbit's happy voice came from a good twenty meters from them.
"… Which is now, apparently." He finished with some annoyance and started to look for a comfortable place to sit.
The rest of the men more or less plunked down where they stood, except for Bombur and Bifur who were handing out stolen bread, legs of chicken, apples, pears, mushrooms and nuts from the kitchens of Rivendell. Figuring that they would have probably eaten twice as much if they'd stayed in Lord Elrond's house, the pair of them didn't really consider it stealing as much as 'accepting the elven hospitality, exceeding the duration of their stay a bit-' as good Bofur had put it. Besides, they didn't even touch any of the elves' favorite foods, which obviously consisted of leaves and heads of salad if their serving ratio was anything to go by.
"Ahh… Good," Balin said as he sat next to Thorin. "I could use a wee break."
"Gather your strength old friend. We can't stay here long." He looked around at his company, scattered between tufts of grass like peculiar shapes of stone protruding from the ground. He saw Ori sitting alone, drawing, and peered over his shoulder to find a charming portrait of Lori smiling back at him from behind a book. It seemed that she had also invaded the young dwarf's heart as well as his own. Sighing, he resigned himself to minding his own business until his pursuit could continue.
"Why do you rush, my boy?" Balin interrupted his observations. "We still have time, as I said."
Thorin thought on how to answer him until he came up with a phrasing that didn't give his feelings away.
"The Misty Mountains are perilous, and we do not yet know which delays we might encounter on our path. Avalanches, rock slides, cave-ins, enemies. I think it's better to make good time while we can and leave a margin for any challenges we face later."
Balin nodded. "Ah, I see. But then why do we take the northern route instead of the safer one to the south? Wouldn't it make more sense to avoid such challenges for a more comfortable journey?" The older dwarf looked shrewdly at him, making his insides twist uncomfortably in guilt for leading his men into danger without telling them why.
Again, an answer presented itself to Thorin. "Perhaps, but the elves are against our quest. They're afraid of us waking the dragon, should it still be there, and they will try to stop us if they can. I would not take the obvious route if they come looking for us."
"hmm…" The old dwarf studied him for a minute. "Very well then. I was just making sure we weren't being led under false pretenses."
Thorin's guilt flared brightly and shame drew his eyes to his hands.
"Say, if we were really trying to get back our little witch, even though she left us behind without as much as a fare-thee-well," Balin continued, whilst watching Thorin under close scrutiny. "Be a shame to go through all that effort for a soddin' tree-hugger, you know… Even if her witchcraft could have come in handy, I doubt you could have even stood the sight of her after how she lied and connived you…"
"She didn't." Thorin burst out.
"What was that?" Balin put his hand behind his ear, but Thorin didn't notice the mockery.
"She didn't lie. It was always her intention to tell us of her heritage, and we cannot fault her for her lack of courage when we are thirteen dwarves who openly resent elves against her, Gandalf and the hobbit who don't." Too late did he realize that he'd just taken up the mantle of her defense.
"Then why isn't she here, Lad?" Balin asked in a kind voice.
"Just because she didn't lie once it doesn't mean I would welcome an elf into my company!" He snapped.
Balin was taken aback at the tone of voice, which he'd often heard directed at others but never at himself.
"I'm sorry," Thorin quickly apologized to the man who had been a friend and a surrogate uncle to him for the last one hundred years. "I didn't mean to be abrupt with you."
The old dwarf sat still for a moment until tempers had eased and thoughts had calmed.
"Thorin, when I asked you why you were taking us to Erebor, even though we may not be the brightest or the bravest of dwarves, do you remember what you said to me?" He tried to catch Thorin's downcast eyes. "Loyalty. Honor. A willing heart. You said you could ask for no more than that."
"I remember." He finally raised his head enough to look at his friend from under his brow.
"Good. Then you should think long and hard about which of those traits our Lori doesn't possess. When you come to your conclusion you should tell us, because none of us can see it, and quite a few of us miss her terribly." With that, the old dwarf patted Thorin's knee and got up to go sit with Ori, complimenting him on his ink drawing and pointing out a few details the younger dwarf had missed.
Thorin was left staring hard at a blade of grass, trying to piece together what his arguments were for resenting Lori. As he steadily failed every time he tried, the horrifying notion that he'd wronged her grievously suddenly hit him like a hammer. What if he'd been wrong to push her away? What if his very words had driven her into the goblin plagued mountains to face death and anguish alone? What if he could have kept her by his side and held her close, but instead chose to destroy what they might have had out of some misconstrued idea that his people would never accept her? The thought was unbearable, and he took it out on the plant by tearing the tuft from the ground and hurling it away.
The thought was deeply disturbing and left a sense of regret in him that was all too familiar. The feeling he'd had when his people suffered under his guidance on the journey from Erebor to the Blue Mountains. Every time a child had screamed in hunger or sickness or an elderly dwarf had succumbed to the winter because the clan of Durin had no money for warm clothes, he had taken the burden of guilt and carried it like a spiked armor, both lashing out at enemies with its anger and ripping into himself with sharpened pain. This same pain lashed at him now as the guilt of his perceived wrongdoings fell around him like an old, well-worn cloak, and there would only be one way to shed himself of it. He needed to keep Lori safe, and maybe somehow make her see that he regretted his harsh words towards her.
"Get up, men. We move out!" He ordered as he got to his feet. At the last minute he decided to keep his revelations from the rest of them to preserve unity in the group. What he told them instead was, "the elves and wizards would stop us from reclaiming our homeland, even though it is our birthright and inheritance that awaits us there. They are coming for us, so we must make haste for the northern pass of the Misty Mountains."
He looked around and saw varying degrees of acceptance and realization. Now they had real motivation for running at a pace that would make Radagast's rabbits proud, through thorns and over rocks, and not just orders to do so. Good.
All afternoon they pushed on through tussock, thistles and across spiky rocks, until their shadows grew long enough to look like the slender images of fair folk. The grumbling complaints had long since stopped, replaced by panting and an occasional exclamation of pain when a blister popped or a particularly nasty plant penetrated skin. But there were no discontent despite the grueling ordeal. Thorin was waiting for the last straw to break Bilbo's back, as the gentle hobbit tore through the thorns on his bare feet and legs along with the rest of them, but even though he was obviously ripped to shreds on his shins, and his fine waist coat was starting to get soaked with sweat, the whining never came. Perhaps Gandalf had been right that the Hobbit was hardier than he looked. It would still take more to convince Thorin, though.
When night fell and the company made camp in a small protected valley, the men gathered around the fire and the talk fell on Lori and her whereabouts. The hobbit seemed determined to believe in the best case scenario, whereas the others weren't quite as optimistic.
"But… I'm sure Lori would have gone back to the Shire where it's safe, wouldn't she?" He asked in a wishful voice.
"Do you really believe that, knowing what you do about her?" Thorin asked him as he approached the men from the dark.
Bilbo looked to Kili and Fili, trying somewhat desperately to gain their consensus, but only saw in their faces a grim determination as they knew that their uncle was right. "No no no, you can't be serious. I mean, I know she's no ordinary girl – or woman – But to go on a journey like that alone would be madness. Suicide, even, just as you said yesterday Thorin!"
Fili snapped his head up to look at his uncle. "You don't think she would have done something..?" If anyone knew that Lori had wiggled her way under Thorin's shield, so to speak, it was the eldest of his nephews. Groomed to be his heir, they had always been close, and Fili knew that something had gone terribly wrong between them when she'd told his uncle of her lineage.
"No." Thorin cut him off. "I cannot think that she would willfully try to hurt herself, but nonetheless there isn't anything we can do for her when she's not with us."
Thorin watched in silence as the company shared their thoughts of worry, speculations of Lori's fate and suggestions to what could be done. There were ideas to tell the elves where she might have gone by leaving behind written notes (Ori), which was shot down quickly, as they didn't want the elves to know where they were going, plus they didn't know for a fact which path Lori was taking, and didn't want to help elves with, well anything, to begin with.
Some said they should pursue her through the mountains themselves (Bofur), which Thorin also stayed conspicuously silent to, but Dwalin snarled that their purpose was to regain their honor by reclaiming Erebor and not go on a rescue mission for wayward harlots. She was on her own, and good riddance, he said as his eyes flicked to Thorin. Thorin scowled and turned to hurry out of the light before he might accidentally reveal himself. Balin and Bofur noticed and shared a look that spoke volumes of their knowledge, though none of them said anything. It wasn't worth the fight with Dwalin anyway.
..o00Ô00o..
Next chapter: We might see what Lori is up to. Please review though, it is my constant inspiration!