AN: So this was a journey and a half but this is the final chapter. I really wanted to finish this story so I just wanted to get these scenes on paper. I may expand this into a series once I finish some other projects I'm currently working on but I thank all the people who have read this, liked it, reviewed etc.
"I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle." - Vincent Van Gogh
PART VIII: Infinite
Sam looked around himself in a daze. He was dreaming and he knew he was because his father was there and so was his grandmother. It was Thanksgiving at Nana Elise's. He was suddenly hit with deja vu. He had had this dream when Steve had the miscarriage. He stopped breathing for a second, wondering what he would find when he woke up. He looked to the back door and saw his Nana standing there with a soft smile on her face as she nodded for him to follow her outside. He made his way towards her, briefly brushing his father's shoulder on the way. When he made it outside she was sitting on the porch swing watching the setting sun just like last time. He sat down next to her, resting his head on her shoulder like he used to do.
"I told you it was all gon' be okay." She said softly, brushing her fingers across his scalp.
"Yeah, you did. Don't know why I ever doubted you."
"Nor do I, silly boy. You should know better." Sam chuckled lightly and leaned closer to his Nana.
"You did good, my boy. She's a beautiful girl."
"Yeah. Yeah, she is." Sam enjoyed the comfortable silence and the sunset with his grandmother before she spoke again.
"Someone else wants to speak with you. They're on the front porch." Sam looked behind him as if the person would materialize then. He was dreaming so they probably could but his Nana nudged him and so he got up and walked around the house to the front porch. There was someone sitting in his grandfather's rocking chair shrouded in the shadows of night. He inched closer trying to get a look at them when they began to speak.
"Well Sammy, wish I could say I didn't see this coming but I totally did." Sam paused in place, feeling pain well up in his chest as Riley got up and stepped into the moonlight. He had that goofy ass smile he always wore, his eyes twinkling with mischief while the moon made his sandy brown hair look more blonde than brown. Sam was sure his heart stopped beating in his chest.
"You know I always figured it'd be you to settle down. Get married, dog, kid, the whole nine yards. Figured that even after you told me you were gay. Suppose I should say congratulations, you big softie." Sam was stuck between just crying outright or letting Riley draw him into the banter. The banter usually always won.
"Well one of us had to. Good thing it's the sensible one." Riley smiled impossibly larger.
"Says the guy who knocked up Captain America."
"Don't be jealous because I have that fine piece of man in my bed every night." Riley started laughing after that, loud guffaws that was always infectious to Sam. Sam's laughter tapered off into a sad smile.
"I miss you, man."
"You better. Don't miss me too much though; you've done good for yourself brother. Real good." Sam smiled widely at Riley's approval.
"Thank you." He couldn't help but say to Riley.
"I didn't do a damn thing, that was all you." He answered.
"Maybe but I know you're looking out for me, so thank you."
"You wanna thank me? Name the next one after me." Sam chuckled before pushing Riley's shoulder affectionately, the man responded by pulling him into a hug.
"I just might do that." Sam held Riley tightly; he was almost able to smell him: sweat, his beloved donuts and the scent of jasmine that came from the lotion his mother always sent him. Part of Sam wanted to stay there, stay with Riley but there was something else, something outside of himself that was calling to him.
"Go man, go live your life." Riley said before the dream began to fade to black. Sam woke up softly, snuggling into the sheets of his and Steve's bedroom a bit deeper before he finally opened his eyes.
The room was mostly dark but there was some light peeking from the cracked door of the nursery attached to their bedroom. They had moved back into the Tower three months prior after spending a week in the hospital just making sure everything was okay with both Steve and Saralise. The move back had been an event and a half but they had managed it. Sam's mother had come down as soon as she could and had been living at the Tower with them ever since helping them take care of Saralise along with everyone else. It was mildly entertaining and sweet how everyone would dote on her and try to give them tips that they had gotten from the hundreds of baby magazines and books they had apparently been studying religiously but it wasn't that necessary.
Saralise was a sweet, if quiet baby. She didn't cry very much which was concerning to Steve and Sam but they were just told to count their blessing that colic wasn't a probably they had to face with her. Saralise only seemed to really cry if she was left alone for too long and that was rarely a problem with everyone in the Tower. Sam sat up and looked at the baby monitor on his night stand; he could see Steve in the nursery asleep in the rocking chair with Saralise in his arms. He got up from the bed and made his way to the room, slipping inside quietly. He made his way to Steve, trying to gently lift Saralise from his arms without waking him but he still startled awake at Sam's movements.
"Just me." Sam reassured him, bringing Saralise over to her crib and laying her down carefully on her back. She fussed a little bit, her eyes cracking open. Sam looked up as JARVIS turned the lights down and projected a clearing at night onto the ceiling above her crib. The trees swayed lightly in the breeze and the sound of running water and crickets filled the room. Saralise opened and closed her hands a bit before her eyes closed and the sounds of nature lulled her back to sleep. Sam smiled down at his daughter in her peaceful slumber before going back to his husband.
The wedding had been a small affair, just some members of Sam's family, the Avengers, the X-men and some of Xavier's students along with some SHIELD agents including Phil, Maria, Sharon and Fury. Nick had walked Steve down the aisle, Bucky was the best man and Sasha was the best woman. They didn't bother with a honeymoon. All that mattered was that they were man and husband now and they had their daughter. That was all he needed.
Sam smiled as Steve opened his arms for him and he sat down in his lap gently, letting Steve cuddle him closely.
"Love you."
"Love you too." Sam whispered, letting Steve rest his head on his shoulder and lightly doze. They probably wouldn't thank this position in the morning but Sam was content for now, besides they had an eventful week ahead of them.
The next day found Sam, Steve and Saralise standing outside the residential home where Peggy lived. The drive from New York to DC was long but they had made it, they had to do it now. This time next week Saralise's existence would be public knowledge so it had to be now. Sam looked over at Steve, he had seen him look less nervous when he was about to run into burning buildings or fight aliens than he did now. He was holding Saralise to his chest like she was a security blanket and staring at the building uncertainly. Sam rubbed a hand over his shoulder.
"Hey, it'll be fine. It's Peggy; it's not some stranger off the street. You gotta trust her more than that."
"I do trust her, you know that. I just, I just don't want to hurt her."
"Stop worrying, she already knows about Saralise. Sharon told her, it's just a matter of her meeting her. Do you really think she's going to be mad at you for this?" Steve reluctantly shook his head, shifting their daughter in his arms slightly.
"Come on. I'm right here with you." Steve looked over at him before nodding.
"Okay. Okay, let's do this." They walked into the building together, greeting the woman at the front desk before they made their way to Peggy's room. Sam was the one to knock as Steve's arms were full.
"Who's there?" They heard Peggy ask. Steve cleared his throat before speaking.
"It's Steve." There was silence for a moment before they heard a chuckle on the other side of the door.
"It's about bloody time. You better have Samuel and the littlest Avenger with you or you can turn right back around." Sam and Steve chuckled then before Sam opened the door and walked in ahead of Steve. He came to the side of Peggy's bed, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"You look more beautiful every time I see you, Miss Margaret." He told her, bending low to kiss her wrinkled hand.
"Flattery! Oh, how I've missed it. You're not looking so bad yourself Samuel. Especially for a new parent." Sam blushed a bit as Peggy gave him a wink. Steve sighed in exasperation; Sam could practically hear the eye roll in it.
"Is this the point where I throw in a chopped liver joke?" He asked.
"No but it is the point where you bring that child closer so I can have a look." Peggy said, her eyes glued to the bundle in Steve's arm. Sam could see an excitement and anticipation in her eyes that seemed almost childlike and he had to smile. Steve came over and sat on the edge of the bed so Peggy was able to peer down and visually inspect Saralise to her heart's delight.
"Her eyes..."
"They're my mother's."
"Mmm, oh yes. They are a few shades lighter than yours." Peggy was silent for a long moment, just looking down at Saralise who stared back at her, opening and closing her fists.
"We, uh, her middle name is Margaret. I... Saralise Margaret Wilson-Rogers. Sharon, well Sharon signed one version of the birth certificate so legally she's her mother just as much as we're her fathers so technically Saralise is your grandniece. Which is... I..." Steve rambled nervously as Peggy didn't speak. Sam watched her carefully, there were tears welling her eyes but she pushed them back down and continued surveying Saralise.
"She's beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. She's perfect." She said finally. Steve blew out a breath he probably didn't know he was holding.
"Yeah, yeah she is." Steve said with a wet chuckle. Peggy leaned forward and kissed Steve's cheek before grabbing Sam's hand and kissing it.
"I remember when I had my children. Daniel was so nervous all three times, you'd think it would get easier for him. He was such a worrier." Peggy reminisced with a fond smile.
"Any words of advice?" Sam asked. Peggy was quiet for a moment, brushing her fingers over Saralise's cheek.
"Don't let one second go to waste."
"I won't, never again." Steve vowed. Sam smiled down at him before leaning forward and kissing his forehead. Neither of them would.
Two days later it was Sam's turn to be a nervous wreck. They were finally going public now. After months of magazine theories and no comments it was time to enact their cover story. Pepper was pretty insistent that they do the big reveal with Christine. She was the right kind of gossip monger but she would also ask the questions they needed out of the way. So it was so that Steve, Sam, Sharon and Rhodey found themselves sitting across from Christine Everhart at the Tower apprehensively as the journalist held Saralise in her arms.
"Oh, you are precious. Pep, you didn't tell me she was this precious."
"I most certainly did, you were too busy to hear." Pepper said from behind Christine, the rest of the Avengers were there too silently spectating. Sam wasn't sure between which times Pepper decided to befriend Christine but apparently she had and it was only to their benefit.
"Your daughter is beautiful." She said handing her back to Sharon.
"Thank you." Steve answered with a smile as Sharon eagerly took Saralise back. Sam had noticed how receptive she was towards Saralise. Even though she wasn't her biological parent and had only signed the birth certificate that would be "leaked" to the public soon enough to protect Saralise, Sam could see longing in her eyes that he didn't mind or feel threatened by. Saralise would need a mother at some point and Sharon was their friend, she'd be publicly known as her mother anyway.
"So how was the decision made to have a baby? In the social and political climate we find ourselves in now, was it a hard decision to make?" Christine asked.
"Of course it was. It was one of the hardest decisions we've ever made but I don't regret it. I love Sam and I've learned the hard way that timing isn't all it's cracked up to be." Steve answered.
"And having Agent Carter as a surrogate?"
"I volunteered. They're my friends and I wanted them happy so I volunteered for it. They were hesitant to accept, they didn't want to put me out in that way. But I talked to Rhodey about it. Deciding to have someone else's child is a big decision and could make or break any relationship." Sharon answered before turning to Rhodey.
"It was a surprise for sure and I wasn't sure how it would work but we had a long talk before I realized it was just something she wanted to do for her friends and for herself. Who was I to stop her? Not like anything could once her mind is made up." Rhodey said, kissing Sharon's cheek.
"So how does it work for you all? Agent Carter is her biological mother, Sergeant Wilson her biological father but I imagine a situation like this can be difficult. What are the drawn lines in the sand, so-to-speak?" Steve decided to answer.
"Sam and I are her parents. We'll be her primary care givers but Sharon's name is on her birth certificate for a reason. She's not just our surrogate, she's Saralise's mom. We're not naive. She's a young girl with a lot of aunts but in my opinion it would be wrong of us to deny our daughter a chance at a mother. Sharon can teach her and help her with things we can't." Steve said. Sam held his hand, they were doing well so far.
"As for me, I'll just be Rhodey. I think the daddy slot is pretty full already." They all chuckled good naturedly at the joke.
"What about the Avengers? Fighting crime and injustice might just have to take a back seat." Christine questioned.
"Someone I hold dear to my heart told us not to waste a second and we won't. We're going to be there for our daughter." Steve said.
"We'll still fight, still do what we can so that she doesn't have to fight the fights we fight but we've got priorities higher than that at the moment." Sam finished.
"I think anyone would do the same in your position and would be remiss to criticize you for it." They all smiled a little at Christine and went on about the interview. It seemed to go smoothly after that. They answered every question about the circumstances of Saralise's birth just as Pepper and Tony had coached them to and answered the fluffier questions about parenthood honestly and thoroughly. Once it was over and Pepper and Sharon were with Christine in the elevator they all breathed a sigh of relief.
"You think it worked?" Sasha asked.
"We'll find out once 'Vanity Fair' prints the story. Then you only have to tell that story a couple hundred more times to some screened news outlets as well as any press that hounds the Avengers at any events or missions and then we'll be golden." Tony answered tapping away at his cell phone while balancing Saralise on his hip.
"We'll make sure it works. Don't worry about it." Natasha added taking the baby to Tony's protest. Sam rolled his eyes, passing Saralise around the room seemed to be the Avengers' favorite new game. Sam looked over to his left as Steve squeezed his hand.
"She's right. We'll make them believe it, we'll do it together." Sam smiled at him before kissing the rings on Steve's finger. He was right, he knew he was. They could do this, they could do it just like they did everything else. They would do it together. And if their cover story crashed and burned and they were thrust into the limelight? Well, they would do that together too. It didn't matter as long as he had his family, there wasn't anything he was unwilling to face.