You Can Live: Chapter 12
My summer has officially begun, which means plenty of time to write! Excited to really get into this, cause I started writing this story in the midst of a psycho school year.
Please enjoy :)
No slash here, only guardian/ward psuedo-parent/child relationship and friendships.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, except for the plot. I would be able to afford school if that were the case.
Warnings: SEE CHAPTER 1 FOR WARNINGS AND OTHER IMPORTANT NOTES!
How It Started...
Draco brushed the soot out of his platinum hair, before seeing the shocked face of his godfather.
"Draco? What are you doing here? I called for Madam Pomfrey." Draco nodded, and smiled at his Godfather.
"I started apprenticing under Madam Pomfrey during the school year. Now, she has me on duty for whenever she is out. Where is Harry? You said it was urgent." Severus wasn't sure this would end well. He had promised Harry that only Madam Pomfrey would know. If one of his friends, well, Snape would only hope that he would understand. Those wounds needed to be healed, and soon. If Draco was the only one available to do so, then so be it.
"You must first swear that you will tell no one of this. Harry is in a distressed state, and I..I promised him that it would stay between myself, him and Madam Pomfrey." Draco nodded.
"Of course. First thing you learn as a healer. Healer-patient confidentiality, unless they are underage, and only then with their parents. Like most of my patients will be." Snape, seeing the truth of it in his godson's eyes, led him down the corridor. He stopped at the door to Harry's bedroom, and sighed.
"He will most likely not be happy to see you." Draco shrugged.
"Most people aren't. Son of a Death Eater and all. I think I can handle it." Truth was, Draco was worried about Harry. Their last year of school together actually went well. He wouldn't say they were extremely close, but he liked to think he was allowed to be concerned for the boy. He did owe him a life debt after all. Snape hesitated only a moment longer before knocking.
"Harry, I am coming in. I ask that you think before you act." Severus opened the door. Harry was sitting up on the side of his bed, facing away from the door. He didn't look up when they entered, and kept his head down. Draco thought it time to break the news. He cleared his throat.
"Hey Harry. I'm here to take a look at you." As soon as Harry heard his voice, his head shot up and whipped around. His look of shock was cut off by a wince as he tugged at the wounds on his neck. He brought his hand up, and it came back bloody. Draco stepped forward.
"What happened?" Harry flinched back when Draco first stepped toward him, seeming to be in a daze and confused. But he quickly snapped out of it.
"What are you doing here? Severus said.." Harry looked at Snape with so much betrayal in his eyes. Snape refused to give in.
"I fire called Madam Pomfrey, but she was unavailable. Draco is acting healer when she is away." He stepped closer and continued to meet Harry's eyes, while Draco stayed back and let them sort things out. Well, as long as they made it quick.
"You know he won't tell anyone about this. You are friends, are you not? You can trust him, Harry." Harry looked down and nodded. In a quiet voice he answered,
"I know. I just…I don't…"
"You don't want anyone seeing you like this," Severus finished for him. Harry looked up at him and nodded again. Draco stepped forward then.
"Harry, you told me about your cutting. You even confided in me why you wanted to live with my godfather. You can trust me to treat this the same way." Harry gave him a small smile, and Draco took that as consent. Severus conjured a chair for him, and he sat in front of Harry. Draco pulled out his wand and brought the lights up a bit more.
"Don't tell me he has turned you into a bat too, Harry. Living in the dark all the bloody time." Snape snorted in indignation.
"That was an appropriate level of light for this time of night, Draco. And you have seen me in the sun before. I am not a bat." Draco rolled his eyes, and Harry found himself trying hard not to laugh. The blonde young man then leaned forward, now with a better view of Harry's neck. He whistled.
"You did quite a number on yourself. That is, I'm assuming you did this to yourself and an owl didn't sneak in through your window and mangle you in your sleep?" Harry blushed and nodded. The room got quite as Draco conjured his bag.
"Nightmare?" Harry's eyes were downcast as he confirmed that it was. Draco just accepted the information and moved on. He dipped his fingers in a clear salve and touched them to Harry's neck. Harry jerked back.
"Sorry. This will be cold." Harry snorted, and let Draco put the stuff on him. Once Draco had rubbed the salve in, he pulled out his wand.
"I'm going to need you to hold very still for this. Technically, I'm not allowed to do this. I'm still an apprentice, and underage. I wouldn't want to accidentally slit your throat." Harry sat frozen in shock, and Draco used that to finish his delicate spell. The wounds closed up nicely, leaving only the lines of dried blood down Harry's neck. He was kind enough to cast a quick cleansing spell and rid him of them. Then he smiled at the still frozen Gryffindor.
"But Madam Pomfrey taught me how to do that and declared me fit for performing the spell." Harry slumped and rolled his eyes, as Severus himself unwound the tension in his shoulders. Draco put his things back into his bag and shrunk it down to fit in his pocket.
"No scars, but you will be a bit sore for a day or two. Try and get some rest, Harry. And feel free to owl me now and then. It gets lonely at the castle in the summer." Draco smiled at Harry, patted his arm and stood. Harry didn't say anything until Draco was almost out the door, followed by Severus.
"Draco?" The young man stopped and turned, a patient smile on his face.
"Yes, Harry?" Harry raised a hand halfway to his neck, then thought better of it and tried to cover it with a small wave.
"Um…thanks." Draco nodded and left. Once the door was shut and he and Severus were in the other room, Draco's expression turned to one of concern. He turned to his godfather.
"Keep an eye on him. If he starts to run a fever or shows signs of a rash around his neck, contact me immediately. And if you catch him scratching at his neck, you will need to wrap a bandage around it. Just because I closed up the wounds, that doesn't mean that the skin is as good as new. His skin will be very sensitive. It'll also be more easily cut open for a few days as well, and I don't want him opening up his neck again." Severus nodded, a bit unused to getting orders from his godson. Draco, however, still looked concerned.
"Is there something else, Draco?" Draco bit his bottom lip a moment before answering.
"I've witnessed a couple of his nightmares, and he has never hurt himself so violently. Sure, he's banged himself a bit with his flailing and tumbling out of the bed, but he's never really attacked himself." Snape nodded gravely.
"He fell asleep this past afternoon, out in the garden, and had a nightmare then as well. I'm afraid they are becoming more frequent." Draco ran a hand through his hair.
"But the Dark Lord is gone. Why would he still be so tormented? And why would they be getting worse?!" It made Snape happy that his godson was so concerned for his ward, though the fact that he had reason to be concerned was not pleasant.
"I think that it is because Harry defeated the Dark Lord. You know that Harry did not grow up spoiled rotten in his relative's house, Draco. I believe that now that he is able to relax with no looming threat, all of the problems and fears that he never got to deal with and had to hide away, are all coming to the surface. We have yet to discuss his memories and attached feelings thoroughly, and it seems his mind is trying to press the issue." Draco nodded, more pleased with that explanation than the scenarios his own mind was coming up with. More at ease, now that he knew his godfather seemed to have an understanding of the situation, Draco reiterated his early command to owl or floo him if they needed anything or just wanted to talk. He soon left and Snape was all alone in his study once more.
Severus would admit to himself that the violence of this past nightmare shook him. Madam Pomfrey would have seen him a lot more if they were always that way, unless…. Snape quickly returned to Harry's room. The boy was laying down on his side, facing away from the door, with his glasses on the nightstand. Snape crossed the room, and sat in the chair Draco had been using so he could look at Harry. The boy was wide awake, and running his fingers over his neck. Snape reached out slowly, and gently pulled Harry's fingers away from his neck.
"Draco informed me to not let you scratch or worry your skin for a few days. It will be a bit sensitive for a little while, so I expect you to control yourself and not do anymore damage." Harry bit the inside of his cheek and nodded.
"I'm sorry." Severus sighed. He figured Harry would apologize for having a nightmare. The boy apologized for everything.
"One of the responsibilities of being a guardian, Mr. Potter, is to look after the physical and mental well-being of your ward. This nightmare seemed particularly violent. Have there been others of such magnitude?" Harry wouldn't look him in the eye, and his silence answered for him. Severus's voice softened unintentionally.
"How often, Harry?" Harry shrugged, but peeking and seeing that that was not a satisfactory answer, he put some words to it.
"Not all the time. Just….sometimes." Snape sighed again.
"Have you ever hurt yourself this much? Or in such a way as you attacking yourself?" Harry looked down again and nodded. He started running a finger across his wrist.
"It was how I found out cutting helped." His voice was very quiet and far away. Severus leaned forward and brushed some unruly hair from the boy's eyes.
"What happened?" Harry opened and shut his mouth a few times before answering.
"It was the summer after fifth year. I-I was dreaming…I was in the Forbidden Forest. I thought was the only one there, but…there was a werewolf prowling in the woods. I could hear it howling at the moon. I don't know how, but I knew it was coming for me, so I started running. I kept tripping and falling; I couldn't see. I finally stumbled out, only to find myself in the graveyard. Voldemort and his Death Eaters were there waiting for me. Voldemort told his followers to bring me to him. I couldn't….I couldn't get away." Harry was near tears at this point and Snape's hand found its way to the boy's head, where his fingers were running through his hair. The young man took a few shaky breaths before continuing.
"They dragged me to him, and it was like I couldn't move. Instead of raising his wand, he stepped aside to allow some more cloaked figures forward. I c-couldn't see their faces. The one closest to me, brought out a knife." Snape's other hand, not tangled in Harry's locks, fisted in his lap.
"They t-took off their hoods and…and it was M-mum and Dad. Cedric was behind them and Sirius held the kn-knife. Mum and Dad held me still and Cedric pulled my arm out. Sirius started to…to cut me and when, when I cried Voldemort laughed. Mum and Dad started whispering in my ears.
They kept saying things like, 'This will help, Harry. It's fine. Doesn't it make the pain go away? Stop crying.' But I couldn't, and Sirius just kept cutting me." The tears were flowing freely down Harry's cheeks. His eyes were red and his vision blurred. He finished in a defeated tone.
"When I woke up, I had an old nail in my hand and had cut across my arms about three times. It scared me at first, but when Uncle Vernon beat me the next day for 'hurting' Dudley, their voices came back. It made sense, so I tried it with my razor." Snape now had his hand over the one Harry was running back and forth across his wrist.
"You know that cutting doesn't help, now, right Harry? Hurting yourself more can't take away your pain." Harry nodded and sniffled.
"I know that now. You showed me that." Harry gave him a tiny smile, but it still lightened the man's heart to see it. Severus patted Harry's hair once more and leaned back in the chair.
"Well, Draco ordered you to rest, and I think I shall stay here for the night. In case you are plagued with the desire to do yourself harm once more." Harry would have been too embarrassed to ask him to stay, and to be honest, Snape wanted to stay. To keep watch himself that the boy was safe in his sleep, even from himself. Harry closed his eyes, feeling safe going to sleep for the first time in a while.
Aw, Snape being gruff and compassionate at the same time. :p This chapter, the whole nightmare thing, took me by surprise and I like it. Do you?
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