You Can Live: Chapter 14
Okay, so this next chapter was actually pretty hard for me to write. I almost never get emotionally involved in my own story lines and characters, however, I had to take a few breaks when I was writing this. You'll see what I mean...
Please enjoy :)
No slash here, only guardian/ward psuedo-parent/child relationship and friendships.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, except for the plot. I would be able to afford school if that were the case.
Warnings: SEE CHAPTER 1 FOR WARNINGS AND OTHER IMPORTANT NOTES!
...Mistakes
It felt like it had been years since he went flying just for the fun of it. Harry loved Quidditch, but it was very demanding and he had to focus on so many things that he couldn't just let go. Flying had become a requirement and not a fun pastime. Now, though, on a broom once again, out in the open air, it felt wonderful.
Albus was flying in front of him, and his wingspan was about as long if not longer than Harry's broom. A bit intimidating, but it wasn't bad. In fact it was exhilarating. Harry flew over forests and fields and empty train tracks and didn't have a care in the world. At one point he just stopped mid-flight and took it all in. Albus circled back and perched on the end of Harry's broom, forcing Harry to lean back and counter-balance.
"You are not a light bird, you know. I'd rather not go plummeting down to my death, thank you." Albus hooted at him indignantly and turned his feathered back to him. Harry laughed and reached out to pet him, only to get nipped.
"Blimey. I didn't expect you to be all snooty. Fine. I apologize for implying that you are not a trim owl and that you were plump. Happy?" Albus ruffled his feathers, hooted once more, then took off flying. Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Who knew a bird could be such a drama queen?" Assuming he had been forgiven, Harry flew on after him.
He soon grew tired, however, and decided to land and take a little break. Albus followed him down and they settled in a wide, remote field spotted with wild flowers and humming with the occasional flying insect.
A bug, who wasn't looking where he was flying, hit Harry's neck and stayed there. Harry reached up and smacked it away. The slight sting would have normally been easily brushed off, but it now felt like a few dozen ants were crawling all over his neck. Harry scratched until Albus hooted at him.
"Don't tell me? You want me to stop scratching." Albus hooted again and hopped closer. Harry sighed and smiled. He petted Albus's head for a while and just let the warm sun beat down on his head. Eventually, he laid back, arms crossed behind his head, and stared up at the clouds. He shouldn't have been surprised when he fell asleep.
'FREAK!' Harry woke with a start. His heart was racing and his body ached and Albus was hooting at his frantically. Harry looked around, disoriented by the dark around him and ran his hands through his hair. Snape was going to kill him. He stood shakily and nearly fell over when he bent down to grab his broom. His palms were slippery, and he almost dropped the broom when he mounted. Albus hooted worriedly and took off when Harry did. The problem was, Harry was lost. He hadn't exactly been paying attention when he first picked a direction and just started flying. Starting to grow panicked, he called out for Albus.
"Albus! Do you know the way back?" The bird hooted what sounded like an affirmative, and Harry cast a guiding lumos charm to dispel some of the darkness. For what felt like forever, and really was a good hour and a half, Harry followed his owl in what he hoped was the way home. He almost fell off of his broom in relief when he saw lights ahead and felt the familiar wards wash over him. However, when he saw Snape standing in the open doorway with his arms crossed and an equally familiar scowl on his face, Harry didn't feel so lucky.
The young man dismounted, trying to dispel the anxious feeling growing in his chest by appearing unfazed, and began to walk to the front door. Unfortunately, Severus did not seem any less terrifying up close. His mouth was drawn into a very thin line and that eyebrow was arched. When he spoke, his quiet, cold tone was more terrifying than if he had been full out screaming.
"May I ask where you decided to gallivant off this afternoon without telling me?" Harry opened and closed his mouth, suddenly frozen and feeling backed into a corner. Unfortunately, it seemed his silence only hurt his case more. Snape nodded once.
"I see." Suddenly, Harry was grabbed and roughly flung into the house. His broom had fallen from his grasp and been left out on the porch. Well, that gives him one less thing to think to hit me with. I can only hope he doesn't use the Crusciatus. These were some of his first thoughts, and they started a floodgate of other thoughts and old fears. Those concerns that had been lurking just under the surface, still uncertain, were now making themselves prominent in his mind. His knees couldn't hold him up anymore, and he slowly sunk down to the floor, bringing his knees to his chest.
Severus stomped in after the boy, slamming the door behind him and letting his temper consume him.
"Do you have any idea how reckless it is to just fly off, no direction, not even a note saying that you had left?! I did not even know that you had gone until I came down for lunch. And then I hadn't a clue as to where you had gone! You could have gotten hurt and I wouldn't be able to help you, let alone find you! You stupid fool! Just like your father, think you can do whatever you want whenever you want without taking into consideration other people besides yourself!" Snape's anger burned bright, but only because it was fueled by his worry and fear. In his rage, he didn't notice how badly Harry was trembling or the scared tears that fell from his eyes.
Instead, he gripped Harry's upper arms and lifted him to his feet. Severus shook him roughly, hard enough that Harry's glasses fell on the floor, leaving him feeling even more vulnerable to his guardian's rage.
"Hours, Harry! You were gone for hours! You could have been dead, and I wouldn't be able to find your body!" Being this close to Snape meant that Harry could smell the alcohol on the man's breath and that broke him. He struggled to get out of the man's tight grasp. Harry beat his fists against Severus's chest and pulled.
"Stop! Please! S-Stop!" The young man managed to twist out of the potion master's grip and ran. Practically blind, he ran into walls and tripped up the stairs in his haste to escape. Snape, angered even more, made as if to follow him, but when he stepped forward there was a crunch under his foot. Ice flooded his veins and clarity hit him like a ton of bricks. He slowly lifted his foot and saw Harry's shattered glasses under his shoe. Severus stood there, frozen.
"Merlin, what have I done." He started running to the stairs.
"Harry! Ha-" *POP* Snape was knocked back onto his butt by none other than Snippy. She stood on the bottom step of the stairs and had the fiercest look of protection Severus had ever seen on a house elf.
"Master Snape will not go near Master Harry. Thought Master Snape was nice. Was different. But you hurt Master Harry! Snippy won't let Master Snape near Master Harry!" The determined house elf stood strong, but even slightly drunk, Snape could see that the small creature was a little scared and a lot hurt. He raised his hands in a placating manner.
"Snippy, please. I need to talk to Harry. Apologize. I know I've hurt him, when I swore to myself I never, ever would. I need to see him! I'm…I'm afraid he might hurt himself." Something softened in Snippy's gaze as she heard him say that.
House-elves had a magic of their own that wizards would never fully understand. They were extremely loyal and loved to serve. It was not an uncommon occurrence when a house-elf devoted itself to one master and served them even after that master had passed away. They formed bonds with their masters, which enabled them to better serve their wizard or witch. Snippy had a bond with both Severus and Harry. She cared for both equally. Because of this bond she could feel how hurt and scared Harry was….but she could also see how scared, worried and honest Severus was right then. He had made a mistake, and he knew that. She could not sense anymore anger in him, except that anger directed at himself. This… was the only reason she allowed him to go to Harry. If she so chose, she could have ripped him apart and left him to the wolves. But her masters needed each other. She could see that. And right now her Master Harry was in dire need of comfort.
Slowly, Snippy stepped aside, and she leveled a glare at Snape as he stood.
"Snippy will come with Master Snape to help Master Harry. If Snippy ever sees Master Snape hurt Snippy's Master Harry again, Master Snape will no longer be a Master." Snape put full stock in the threat and bowed graciously to the house elf.
"I promise Snippy to never harm Harry again. Please. Strike me dead if I do." Together they climbed the stairs in haste, and very cautiously entered Harry's room. The lights were out and the door slammed shut behind them from the open window. Snape quickly turned on the lights and panicked upon seeing that the bed was empty.
"Harry?" He called softly. He knew there wasn't a good chance of the boy answering, but he tried anyway. Snippy called him over when he heard a small hoot. Sitting in front of the wardrobe was Harry's owl, and Snippy stood next to it. Severus approached the doors slowly, and the owl suddenly turned and flew at him, hooting wildly. In the end, Snippy had to cast a sort of calming spell on the bird, in order to make it cease its attack on the potion's master, though Snape was pretty sure he saw Snippy give the bird a thumbs up.
Severus then heard soft crying coming from inside the wardrobe and crouched down in front of the doors.
"Harry?" There was a gasp and hitch of breath, before he heard the boy scuttling back away from the doors. That broke Snape's heart.
"Harry-" His voice broke, and he took some breaths to steady himself. "Harry, I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you…but I did. Harry, I was scared. When I couldn't find you, I was so scared, and as I got more and more worried, I had a glass of fire whiskey. When I saw you, I was so relieved, but my anger…I cover my fears with anger a good amount of the time, and, and I know that's not a good excuse. There is no excuse for what I did, but Harry…I am so so sorry. All those things I said…Harry, you are not your father. You are a kind, sweet, and brave young man that I have had the great privilege of getting to know." By the crying on the other side of the doors, Snape could tell that he wasn't getting through. He had scared the boy too badly. A thought struck him then.
"Harry, I promise I will be right back. I'm going to go get someone." Severus was off the floor and in his study in a matter of moments. Instead of sending a note as he had last time, he fire called the medical wing of Hogwarts.
Draco was sitting back and reading Witch Weekly in the quiet ward of the Hospital Wing. He was starting to think Madam Pomfrey took him on as her apprentice so she finally get some vacation time. His eyelids were beginning to droop, when the floo suddenly burst to life and his godfather's head popped into his fireplace.
"Severus! To what do I-"
"Draco, it's Harry. I-I messed up and he really needs someone he can trust right now." Draco was on his feet and coming through before his godfather could finish speaking.
"Where is he?" Draco was running to keep up with his godfather as they rushed to Harry's room. Seeing an owl and his godfather's house elf standing by the wardrobe doors, Draco sent his godfather a questioning look. Before he could get a word out however, a particularly loud sob came from behind the doors and Draco shot to the doors.
"What did you do?" Draco's tone was harsh and unforgiving towards his godfather, and Severus knew he deserved it.
"Harry? Harry, it's Draco. Are you alright?" Harry either couldn't hear him over his crying or was too far gone to get through to. Draco decided to take a chance and opened the wardrobe door.
He caught sight of Harry's feet, before a blast of magic slammed the door back shut. Draco reeled back as a stray strand of it hit his shoulder. Shaken, Draco stood slowly. Without looking at his godfather, he left the room with a quiet,
"I need to contact someone."
One of the reasons I wanted Albus so big was to be able to protect Harry. This chapter really took me by surprise, I found myself shaking as I wrote it. Unusual for me. Snape and Harry will get through what happened, but it will be difficult. Severus messed up BIG time. We all know the Harry is very forgiving and perhaps a smidgen too trusting, but the real question is: Will Snape be able to forgive himself?
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