You Can Live: Chapter 17
Yay! Early update from CA! Here for the anime expo, and let me just say, it's fun. :) Because of this, I decided I would give you an early chapter in case I just come back and pass out tomorrow. So...here you go! :)
No slash here, only guardian/ward psuedo-parent/child relationship and friendships.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, except for the plot. I would be able to afford school if that were the case.
Warnings: SEE CHAPTER 1 FOR WARNINGS AND OTHER IMPORTANT NOTES!
Not the Same
When Snape had finished explaining things to them, Ron still felt a great urge to punch the man in the face. Preferably his big ugly nose. Hermione seemed to sense this, however, and decided to put in her two cents.
"Snape did not go with the intention of hurting Harry at all, Ron. This wasn't anything like what happened at the Dursley's." Ron released some of his anger through deep breathing like Hermione had showed him. "Tell me your mother wouldn't have come at you with a spoon had you done the same thing." Ron shuddered at the image that brought up, but still scowled.
"It's not the same." Snape nodded.
"You are right, Mr. Weasley. It's not the same. Harry has had many terrible experiences with discipline and disobeying the rules. So, what I had done might have been normal and completely fine in perhaps your household, but to Harry it was a precursor to.. to a beating." Seeing Ron's face screwing up in confusion, Hermione searched for an analogy that would work for him.
"Imagine two children have to walk through a park to get home from school everyday. Each time, one of the children gets through fine, while the other child is attacked by dogs every time. After years of getting attacked by dogs when he walks through a park, the child is finally given another way home, a way he thinks is safe. How do you think that child would react if a harmless dog barks at him if he walks by? To the child who wasn't attacked daily, it would be completely normal to hear dogs barking. But to the hurt child, it would be terrifying and would bring back all of the bad memories, even though the barking dog would never hurt him." Ron nods in understanding, and his anger finally starts to ebb. Severus was impressed by Granger's understanding of the situation and inclined his head in thanks.
"So, my screaming at him and no doubt the alcohol he smelt on my breath, would be the equivalent of the barking dog." Severus sighs deeply. "Only, how badly have I hurt him?" Draco was a bit surprised to find the question directed at him, but he answered any way.
"Well, you certainly scared him, but he seemed more embarrassed for his reaction than anything. He even defended you against Snippy when she said you made her promise to kill you if you hurt him. I'm more worried that he will turn to hurting himself for messing up and will try working himself to the bone to make it up to you than anything. Don't be surprised if he flinches for a little while, but I don't think he really blames you at all. What you did was as tame as a kitten compared to what he's used to." Draco stopped and pursed his lips.
"I'm still not happy with you though." Snape nodded his understanding. It wasn't that he was upset with Harry that was the problem. The problem was the way he went about it with a child that had been severely hurt before. He had damaged the fragile trust Harry had that Snape wasn't like the Dursleys. That was why Snape was so eager to see Harry. He wanted to assure him that he had been upset and angry, but he wasn't going to hurt him like so many others had. Severus was going to have to wait until he gave Harry the chance to rest though.
"Did you give him a sleeping draught?" Draco shook his head.
"No. I didn't want to give him anything, in case of any adverse effects after all of the magic performed on his neck. I'd just rather not take the chance. I had to wrap his neck this time around to prevent future injuries. The bruising and scratches were from Harry smacking and scratching a bug that landed on his neck. The gauze should keep the skin from getting too irritated, but it needs to be changed twice a day for a week. When he wakes up and when he goes to bed. Anything strange, whatsoever, floo me immediately." Draco stood and Hermione and Ron followed his lead.
"Let him sleep in a bit tomorrow. He's sure to be exhausted, and should really rest for a day or so from all the wild magic he was throwing about." Draco walked forward and surprised Snape by leaning down and laying a hand on his godfather's shoulder. Severus's black eyes met Draco's shining silver.
"Get some rest yourself. Harry isn't the only one that went through a ringer tonight. You two will work this all out." With that the with and two wizards left him be, and went back through the floo. Severus sat in his chair for many minutes, letting his mind run over every word and action that led him to his current seat and eventually wandering until he was thrown unexpectedly into unconsciousness.
Snape startled awake when his head slipped off of his propped up chin. He grasped frantically for his wand and cast tempus. It was later than he had thought and cast about to open the curtains. Severus hadn't realized how dark the curtains really were, until the bright morning sun blinded him. He was experiencing a bit of an overwhelming-emotions induced hangover rather than one caused by the firewhiskey. The episode in Harry's room was sobering enough for him last night to shake off any lingering effects. Severus lifted his arm to run a hand through his hair and felt something shift in the pocket of his robes. He felt about then pulled out Harry's glasses. The potion's master stared at them for a few moments, before steeling himself and standing.
Severus got to his feet and ignored the pins and needles running up and down his legs as he walked. He refused to acknowledge the nerves singing in his veins the closer he got to Harry's room, and in typical Snape fashion, he completely ignored them by walking straight into Harry's room without pause. He wasn't too surprised to find Snippy by Harry's bedside, and the young man in question still passed out under the covers. The blankets were pulled up to his chin, and his hair fell into his eyes, making him appear years younger than he was. Snippy's head popped up when he entered, and Albus hooted at him softly.
The potion's master took a few moments to observe his ward and then recalled Draco's words from the previous night. Harry's gauze had to be changed when he woke up, and it being ten in the morning, Severus figured now was as good a time as any to start the new day. He did not touch the boy, but called to his name gently until he woke up.
"Harry. Harry, wake up. Do not sleep the day away. Come on, now." The boy's eye lids started to flutter, giving Snape brief glimpses of those eyes he still held dear to his heart. When the boy was completely awake, he shot straight up in surprise.
"Oh! Um..So sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to…I mean..it's…it's late.. I'll get up. I'm sorry. I-" Snape held up a hand, still not touching Harry, to cease the boy's anxious chattering.
"I let you sleep in, Harry. We both needed the rest after last night. And we will need a good breakfast, well, brunch at this point. Snippy?" The house-elf's ears perked up, and she left with a soft crack to prepare a meal for her two wizards. Snape then pulled out Harry's glasses and handed them to the squinting boy. Harry took them gratefully and blinked as he could now see his guardian.
"Thank you, Sir." Snape nodded and decided not to mention that he had fixed them since he had stepped on them last night. Instead, Severus summoned some fresh gauze.
"I need to change your wrappings. Sit up, now." Harry complied immediately and stayed stock still for the potion's master.
He kept his hands gentle, making all of his movements obvious and expected to prevent startling the boy. Once he unwrapped the wrappings Draco had put on Harry, he took a good look to make sure there weren't any signs of irritation. Harry flinched when he fingers pressed gently on his chin to turn it. Snape immediately retracted his hands, afraid he had done something to hurt Harry, but the boy was quick to banish that thought.
"Sorry, Sir. Your..your hands are cold." Severus nodded and made certain to cast a small warming charm as he wrapped fresh gauze around Harry's neck. They both kept quiet throughout the whole thing, neither one exactly sure what to say. Once he finished, he stood.
"Come, Mr. Potter. Snippy will no doubt be finished with the food. She appeared very eager to feed us." Harry didn't move from the bed, however, and instead looked a bit surprised.
"Really, Sir?" Severus raised a brow at his ward. Harry blushed and went to explain himself. "It's just…well, after last night…well, I thought.." Harry gestured about with his hands, uncertain how to get his thought across without sounding imprudent. Severus understood however.
"You thought I would take away a meal as punishment." Harry nodded, not meeting his guardian's eyes. Snape brushed some invisible wrinkles from his robes.
"I can assure you, that that will never be a punishment, Harry, as I still find you dreadfully under weight for a boy your age. Especially, since you missed two meals yesterday. We can discuss this more over food. So, come. I will even allow you to wear your pajamas to the dining table." Harry kept his head down as he slid out of bed and let Snape lead the way down stairs.
Snippy was indeed done by the time they made it to the dining table. She made a feast befitting a welcoming ceremony at Hogwarts. Harry's stomach growled loudly when he laid his eyes on the food. The young man kept his head down, but Snape could see the faint blush staining his cheeks. That boy is more likely to die from embarrassment over the simplest things than from a sadistic madman out to destroy him. Snippy has also heard Harry's hunger announce itself, and set about filling Harry's plate with some of everything, leaving Snape to deal on his own.
Snape waited until he was halfway through his meal, and Harry was resorting to pushing things around to make it appear he ate more than he did, before he sparked up the conversation.
"Harry, we need to talk about yesterday and last evening." Harry nodded, and before Severus could begin, Harry whipped his head up and started apologizing.
"I'm really sorry, Sir. I completely disregarded the rules and disrespected you for disobeying them." Snape stopped the boy, before he could start a frantic rambling.
"Harry, I have already gathered how penitent you are for your actions, and I accept your apology. There must still be consequences, you understand." Harry nodded, and seemed to brace himself, which hurt Severus more than he would have thought. "You will not be allowed to go flying for two weeks, and if you miss any more meals, I will resort to putting nutrition potions in your meals." Harry seemed…shocked. His expression was easy for Snape to read. It clearly said: That's it?
"Harry, I also have something to apologize for. I am very sorry for scaring you so badly last night. I hurt you and have broken your trust." Harry was starting to feel very confused and overwhelmed. This was nothing like what he had expected. Last night. Last night was what he knew. What he had come to see as normal. He was the one that had reacted poorly. No. This..this was wrong. Harry saw that Snape was waiting for a reply, and racked his brain for something that he would want to hear.
"Um…it's alright, Sir. I'm fine." You most certainly are not. And neither am I. Snape thought. But he knew that now was not the time to press. With Harry it was better to slowly pry things back bit by bit until one good hit would knock down his house of cards. Going in like a bludger would get him nowhere. So, for now, Severus allowed that to be Harry's answer, as he could see a brewing panic in his ward's green eyes.
"Eat some more, Harry, or I will go ahead and put in the nutrition potions." It was a viable threat, as nutrition potions were well known for having a terrible taste. Most children came to despise just the thought of them. After plenty of time spent in the Hospital Wing, Harry almost considered himself a connoisseur of the stuff. What Harry didn't know, however, was that Severus had perfected the potion and made it tasteless, but Snape decided to leave that part out. Once the potion's master had determined that the young man had eaten a good amount, he let Snippy take the plates away.
"Now, I was hoping to run you through some basic potion brewing to see how much you remember, but I do not think it would be a good idea to have you around bubbling cauldrons and hazardous ingredients." Harry hung his head in shame. He messed things up again. "So, I think we shall pop into the shop, and I'll have you do some cleaning and setting up, while I start on inventory. Go dress in something you do not mind getting dirty, but do not dare come down here in your old clothes from your cousin. I will burn those the next time I see them." Harry almost considered wearing them just so Snape would burn them, but decided it would be best not to push things with the man. He came back down, and the two flooed to Snape's potion shop.
Now, do they act like nothing happened, or will Snape have to keep a closer eye out for Harry reverting back to his old habits of cutting?
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