You Can Live: Chapter 19
Alright, so, I have put a poll up on my profile for you to choose which White Collar plot I will do next. If you like that fandom or read my WC stories, please check it out.
To AnetteRuby, you have once again given me lots of ideas. Though, I don't think I'm going to have Harry deal with relationships. Maybe in an epilogue like JK did, but not a main thing. The Draco ideas were good though; I can see him coming over for dinner or something. It would make for a good filler or additional plot stuff. PS You might recognize some of your suggestions here. ;) Thank you!
I do like my stories with plot. I understand that a lot of abuse fics don't have much beyond, hurt, rescue, fix, fluff, end. I do enjoy reading stories like that, they were what inspired me to write my own 'You Can Cry'. But I couldn't leave well enough alone and had to expand it exponentially. :)
No slash here, only guardian/ward psuedo-parent/child relationship and friendships.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, except for the plot. I would be able to afford school if that were the case.
Warnings: SEE CHAPTER 1 FOR WARNINGS AND OTHER IMPORTANT NOTES!
Faulty Memory
The morning did not come fast enough, and yet arrived too soon for Harry and Severus, respectively. After a quiet, peaceful evening following their return from their walk, both men were ready to go to bed. With well wishes after Harry's gauze was changed, they parted ways and fell asleep rather quickly. The older wizard woke to the sun just rising, lighting up his chambers, and destroying any chance he had of going back to sleep. It had been one of his few dreamless nights in a long while, and he felt like he could have actually slept in, Merlin forbid, just this once. However, it was not to be.
Down the hall, Harry was stirring under the covers, moving about in his sleep, as he had been for most of the night. He had fallen asleep seconds after his head had hit the pillow, but his sleep had been far from restful. All night his mind had bombarded him with memories and vicious words, both of his time with the Dursleys and just what he had to deal with being the Boy Who Lived. But there was one thing in particular that disturbed him, and caused most of his discomfort and difficult sleep.
He knew something. There was…something in his mind that he knew was bad, but he couldn't for the life of him remember it. The way it tickled and teased the edge of his mind whenever he had flashbacks, made him feel that it could be a memory. But whenever he reached for it, all he got in return was a black hole in his brain that he knew was supposed to hold that memory. It was altogether unpleasant, especially when he felt it coloring his nightmares, yet still could not place its origin or even if it was his. Perhaps it was something transferred over from Voldemort's mind, that he just couldn't shake, and since it wasn't his memory, his mind tried to hide it from him as best it could. However, deep down, he felt that that wasn't true.
So that was where he was and what he was fighting when Severus rose from his own bed and prepared for the day. The ex-professor was walking past Harry's door, when he heard something. When he heard a cry, he didn't hesitate to rush into Harry's room. He saw his ward thrashing about under the covers, and as he got closer, the tears running down Harry's face became blazingly apparent.
"Noo!" Severus laid his hands on Harry's shoulders, hindering his movements.
"Harry, wake up! Wake up. It is just a dream." Harry was starting to sob full out now, and Severus was getting desperate. "Harry! Wake up!" He sighed in relief when he saw the young man's eyes open, but it was short lived when he suddenly got a fist to his face. He reeled back, hand going to his jaw. Harry was sitting up now, wand pointed at him, and fumbling for his glasses. His chest was heaving, and his hands were shaking. When his eyes finally looked up, his vision no longer blurry, Snape saw the recognition hit him, hard.
"S-sir? Oh my- I..I'm so sorry. I didn't..I didn't mean to-" Severus held his hands out in surrender and in hopes to calm him.
"It's okay, Harry. You were having a really bad nightmare. I know you didn't mean to hit me." But Harry was shaking his head, and he practically threw his wand away from him. Severus slowly walked forward, until he was sitting on the edge of the bed beside his ward.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Again and again, Harry repeated himself. Snape saw how bad Harry was taking his actions and decided to take a chance. He tentatively reached out and pulled Harry into a light embrace. The young wizard didn't even fight him. It took some reassurances, well, a lot of them, but Harry finally calmed down and regulated his breathing. Once he had gotten himself back under control, he started to feel uncomfortable with the closeness and pulled back.
"Do you want to tell me what your nightmare was about, Harry?" Harry opened his mouth, but found he didn't have an answer. When he tried to think back on what had made him react so violently, all he came up with was one big blank.
"I..I can't remember." That troubled Snape a bit, as most of Harry's nightmare were quite vivid. Unfortunately, there wasn't much he could do about that. So, for now, he let it go.
"Alright. Well, you're awake now." The room was just getting awkward fast. Snape took his arms off of Harry and pulled out his wand. "Your dressings need to be changed." Quick and painless and it was done. "Time for breakfast now, Harry. Go ahead and get dressed, and we can head into town afterwards. If that's alright with you?" Severus didn't want to just assume. Harry gave him a shaky smile, still a bit unnerved by his dreams, but a smile nonetheless.
"Y-Yeah. I think I can do that." Severus nodded and left, giving Harry privacy to change. He wasn't really looking forward to the people, except maybe George and Clara, but he could really use the fresh air. So, Harry changed and met Snape down for breakfast and couple minutes later. Before he left his room, however, he put a glamour over his neck. There was a bit of a tingling sensation, but it passed, and the glamour held. Harry sat down, and Severus raised a brow.
"I don't know whether I should congratulate you on your skill at glamours or not, Mr. Potter. However, I have yet to meet a wizard, who can create such a flawless one." Harry smiled at his guardian.
"Thank you either way, Sir." Snape nodded, and they remained pleasantly quiet throughout the meal.
The time came, and they set out into the morning without a hitch. It was another nice day, the ground damp, and the air a lot less stuffy than yesterday. The sky hadn't completely cleared, but it saved them from the burning sun. On the way there, Severus asked a question that would start something neither of them knew was there.
"Harry, as July is approaching, I might as well ask you what you want for your birthday." Harry just shook his head.
"You don't have to get me anything, Sir. I've never actually celebrated my birthday, so I wouldn't have the slightest clue what to tell you." Snape snorted.
"I wasn't asking you to plan an entire party or anything of the sort. I was only asking what you might want as a gift. You are telling me that you don't want anything? Anything at all?" Harry shrugged.
"It's not like it would be any different from all of these past years, Sir. Please. It's fine." Snape didn't like the tone Harry was taking. There wasn't anything disrespectful about it, just that it had an unusual edge to it. It wasn't the bitterness most children would express when loved ones didn't acknowledge their birthdays; it was more like Harry honestly did not like his birthday.
"Harry? Did your relatives even acknowledge your birthday?" The younger wizard's hands were clenching into fists unconsciously.
"Yeah. They saved the extra special chores just for that day. One year they even threw Dudley a party that day, because he didn't have to go to summer school. It's just…not really been a pleasant day for me…ever." Snape shook his head.
"But now we can make it a nice day. Harry, you aren't living with the Dursleys anymore, and I thought we had already established that I am not them." Harry ran a hand through his hair.
"Sir, I'd really rather just forget." What though, he couldn't even tell himself. Before Severus could ask any more prying questions, Harry interjected with, "We're here." And so they were. Severus knew he couldn't press the boy any further then, and they walked together quietly to the farmer's market.
"Hey you two!" Harry and Snape gave George and Clara polite smiles and stopped at their booth. The older couple had everything set up, and stood to greet them. Snape nodded in greeting.
"Good morning. How are you, George, Clara?" Both of them smiled and nodded.
"Good, very good. And how about you two? Enjoy the blackberries?" Harry smiled.
"Yes. They were great." Snape smiled at Harry, and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, pleased when he didn't feel Harry tense under his hand.
"Indeed. Harry made a wonderful blackberry cobbler with them. It was delicious." Harry blushed a bit at the praise, unused to such genuine words, and when George and Clara expressed their pleasure.
"That's good! Always glad to hear our produce was put to good use, especially in something sweet." They chatted with the older couple for a few more minutes, then left, now with fresh peaches and cherries. Harry looked around at the other booths, when something caught his eye. While Snape was busy talking to another farmer, Harry wandered over to a small alleyway between two shops. He recognized the group of teenagers that had knocked him over a few days ago. A shocked indignation came over him when he saw that they had cornered a cat and were tormenting it with sticks and a snake.
"Hey! What are you doing?" The four boys straightened up and sneered at the intruder.
"None of your business, Four Eyes. Get out of here." Harry wasn't impressed, despite their superior stature, and crossed his arms.
"You're attacking some poor creature for fun. I'm not leaving until you leave it alone." The boys looked at each other, then back at Harry, before stomping towards him. Harry easily recognized the looks on their faces, as that of Dudley and his gang when they went Harry hunting, but the young wizard refused to be intimidated. He had dealt with bullies before, without magic, and he could do it again. The four boys circled him and the biggest one stepped up to Harry and shoved him back into the arms of two boys behind him.
They were stronger than he had thought, and he was weakened from restless nights and emotional outbursts and such. He was in trouble now. The boys obviously didn't like that Harry wasn't scared. Horse Teeth, as Harry was now calling the lead boy, stepped up and cracked his knuckles in Harry's face. He probably shouldn't have rolled his eyes then, but after defeating a dark overlord and saving an entire world from destruction, four cruel boys were nothing. Horse Teeth sneered and punched him in the gut, effectively winding him.
He doubled over as best he could when he was being held up, but soon found himself thrown into a wall. His head cracked against the brick, and caused his vision to blur for a few seconds. Horse Teeth got right in his face, and his cronies crowded in around him.
"Listen hear, Four Eyes, we're tougher than you, so I think you should leave us about our own business. That make sense to ya?" Harry clenched his jaw, and bit his tongue to keep himself from saying something stupid just then. It would do him no good now, to piss them off more. His head was pounding, and a small voice in the back of his head kept asking where Snape was. Shouldn't he be here? Wouldn't he know by now that you had wandered off like a five year old in a store? Where is he? Horse Teeth didn't like that he wasn't cowering or shaking in his boots, so he raised his fist again- only to have his wrist grabbed and halted mid swing.
"Oi! Who-"
"What do you think you're doing?" The small gang turned to the new arrival, a man that appeared to be in his mid-forties, though Harry didn't exactly get a good look at him. Horse Teeth tried to pull his arm away, but found that he couldn't.
"None of your bloody business, you old coot." The man raised a brow, then twisted the boy's arm behind his back.
"Why don't you go pick on something your own size, hmm? Get out of here." The man pushed the boy towards the other end of the alley, with enough force to land him on his hands and knees. The other three boys rushed to help their leader up, but he scowled and pushed their hands away.
"Come on, boys. Let's go." Horse Teeth continued to scowl at Harry and his new friend. "He's not worth it." They trudged away, leaving the two of them in the alley. The young wizard kept an eye on them, until they were completely out of sight. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder, while another came up to the side of his face, directing him to look at his rescuer.
"Are you okay there, Son?" Harry froze. He hadn't gotten a good look at the man before, but now…now.. Harry started to shake, but he didn't know why. He felt nausea pressing at his stomach, but he couldn't tell you what about this man brought up that feeling. His head was pounding, and he felt like he could collapse at any moment, but all he could think was he had to get away from this man.
"I-I'm f-fine." Harry kept his eyes locked on the man at all times, as he tried to distance himself. At first it seemed like the man wasn't going to let him go, his hands pressing a bit more insistently. The one on Harry's shoulder was starting to creep up his neck to hold the other side of Harry's face.
"Are you sure, Harry? Looked like you took a good knock to the head from the wall." Harry was starting to reach for his wand, almost willing to break the code of secrecy if the man moved any way he didn't like.
"How, how do you kn-know my name?" The man cocked his head to the side, and gave Harry a curious look.
"I own a booth near George and Clara and heard them talking to you, then about you after you left. I saw you walking off towards those boys, and figured they would cause you some trouble." His right hand was curling towards the back of Harry's head, while he gave a humorless snort. "Guess I was right." Harry quickly pulled away from his searching hands, and started to back out of the alley.
"Well, I'm fine, now. Th-thanks." Without another word, Harry sped from the confined space and threw himself back among the booths. All of his instincts were urging him to run and hide, but another part was calmly telling him to find Severus. Just find Severus. It didn't take Harry long, since he ran right into him.
"Harry! Where were you?! You wandered off and I was…concerned. Call me paranoid, but you tend to attract trouble." Harry couldn't quite focus on what Snape was saying, but looked back towards the alley. No one was there now, making Harry not sigh in relief, but tense in fear that the man would surprise him. He looked back at Snape.
"I…um, sorry. I just.." Severus saw the wild look about Harry and was immediately worried. He took a firm, but not angry hold of his elbow and steered him out of the crowd and towards home.
"Come on. Walk with me. You're okay, Harry. We can talk about this back at the house." Part of Snape worried that Harry was panicking that Severus was going to be really mad at him again, but his more logical side was insisting something else was going on. One look at Harry confirmed it. The boy was trembling, and was walking closer to Severus than he ever had before. Something was really wrong.
Harry needs to stop wandering off. Doesn't he know that's always when bad things happen? Oh and by the way, please welcome my very own OC! I typically avoid them, but in this instance, I decided to do a bit of a plot twist and have created my own villain. This story is going to be a lot longer than I originally planned...Yippee! :)
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