Hello guys! Thanks for all your comments and advices. I've checked the text twice and I don't see any problems with it, however I've replaced the last chapter, so now it must be in better quality, I have no idea what is going on, but I hope it will be fixed as soon as possible.
About the Chapter: I need to warn all of you, that even though I do like River a lot, I never felt that the Doctor ever loved her and I blame Moffat for that, it was potentially a beautiful lovestory but in the end all I can feel about it is regret towards River and a desire to punch Doctor's arse for how he behaved with her, so this chapter will reflect my feelings about it.
On the next morning the Doctor and Rose picked up River, they were silent mostly. River eventually believed them, at night she hacked into Torchwood system and found official information on Rose Tyler-Smith and Doctor John Smith. Right, Smith, only the Doctor would have chosen this name as an ally. Anyway there wasn't much information about them, as Rose seems to appear in Pete and Jackie's lives only 7 years ago as their adoptive niece from Pete's side and the Doctor only 3 years ago with no specific background information. They were both ghosts, extremely loaded and famous, but still ghosts. While sitting on the backseat of their black car, River tried to ignore the fact that she had to face this woman, Rose Tyler. She had to speak to her and not to show how terrified she is and how humiliated she feels. She wished no one would ever feel the way she did right now and the worst part, she couldn't even hate Rose as she showed nothing but kindness and understanding towards her.
Rose was trying not to think about the Doctor-Timelord and River's lives. She was trying not to imagine their adventures and talks about time and space on the level only people with two hearts can talk. Rose knew that the Doctor, her Doctor loved her and would never hurt her, but River managed to marry the Timelord, so she must be very special, besides the two-heart thing and basically being a Timelady. The Doctor told her that he scanned River's blood and it was very similar to his older-self structure, although she was still Human-Timelady not Gallifreyan, he had no idea how that happened. Rose was scared of River, she didn't want to, but she was, she wanted to ask her about the Doctor's life but at the same time she was afraid to hear the answer, she was afraid that he forgot her. Rose truly wanted him to be happy, but to witness his happiness without her, that is another question.
The Doctor could feel that the tension would soon burst into flames. Rose and River were so different and he was afraid of what that might bring onto him. That wasn't fair, for God's sake! The other Doctor should be there too, his head also had to be smashed! Why he, of all his faces, had to deal with his two…what, wives? No, Rose was his wife and his love, River was something different and he didn't want to know what. Actually, he had no idea how the other Doctor managed to marry someone after…well, Rose. They both knew that after that kind of experience, after falling in love, he would never allow himself to feel that way again, especially knowing how River was going to end. Will he loose his mind that much sometime in the future? Or is there more to this story?
The Doctor tried to focus on the road and to cut at least some tension in this damned car!
"So, River, how exactly you got here?"
"I told you the explosion part, that's all I remember. And we already figured out that it has something to do with that yellow button of yours." – she answered without looking at him. It was too painful. This Doctor was a stranger to her. Not only his face or the fact, he didn't know her. It's the way he speaks and holds himself, she never saw him so light, so young, so…happy. He was at peace, it seems that even the horrors of Time War didn't pain him as much as she remembered. And she knew the reason for that, he was truly not alone anymore.
"Yeah, but there must be something else, something we've been missing." – the Doctor told, more to himself then to any of them. – "What do you think, Rose?" – Rose looked at him with a hint of disappointment. How is she supposed to know even if he and this Timelady don't? The Doctor always called her brilliant but right now she felt so dumb and useless that she wanted to jump of this damned car!
"I think we should get to the TARDIS first and see what she'll show us."-Rose answered carefully.
"How did you manage to grow the TARDIS so fast? And I'm not even talking about breeding it on Earth of 21 century, even the parallel one." – asked River. Despite the uncomfortable situation she was bursting with questions and she wanted to get the answers. At least some of them.
"Ah, we had a tip from our good friend Donna" – answered the Doctor proudly – "And of course my brilliance and Rose's connection to the TARDIS."
"You've got a connection to the TARDIS?" – Of course she would! Thought River bitterly, even that she taken from me.
"Yes. Sort of. I once looked into the heart of it and well…it led to its consequences." – said Rose. She was so curious about River and she felt that River was curious too.
"But that's impossible! How did you survive such a power? I mean no offence, but you are human"
Rose smiled at that and turned her face slightly.
"Well, yeah. But I had a good motivation." – the Doctor flashed a smile at her.
"Ah, I see. He got in the trouble again and you did a reckless thing to save him." – said River knowingly
"Oi, I didn't get into trouble! Everything was under control! " – the Doctor pouted
"Yeah right, and that giant Dalek fleet about to Exterminate you was just your clever plan" – said Rose sarcastically
"As I recall correctly" – the Doctor said – "After your utterly reckless brilliance I saved your life, so we are even."
"Fair enough" – Rose smiled.
River said nothing, she bit her lip trying not to scream. She and the Doctor never had such a comfortable relationship. Those two were like two magnets, it seemed like they didn't even need a moment to think of what to tell each other, it come naturally to them. River always had to be a mystery, never showing damage, always be strong and never show her weaknesses. Well, she dragged herself into that story as much as the Doctor did himself.
The rest of the road was in relative silence, the Doctor and Rose exchanged a couple of words, then Jackie called and last ten minutes Rose talked to her mother, trying to calm her down.
"Cute"- commented River – "But I prefer more of 51st century archeology" – the Doctor's jaw tightened a bit at those words, but he said nothing.
They came through the down hall straight to the backyard, where in the shad were placed their beautiful blue police box.
"Impressive, she even looks the same" – said River in awe.
"Not on the inside, there she is different. "- said the Doctor, -"Come on ladies" – he flicked his fingers and the door snapped open.
"Show off" – said Rose and River at the same time, for the first time they smiled to each other. A troubling thought crossed the Doctor's mind. He didn't want them to fight, God no! But even worse scenario if they will become friends and team up against him. Somehow, he knew that TARDIS would be in their team too. With the sigh he closed the door.
"So, River, you don't have to do anything, just put your hand in here" – the Doctor showed her somekind of a tablet – "And the TARDIS will calculate the safest way for you to get home, if it exists, and she'll get readings of what actually happened there. Just put it for a minute it will be enough. In few hours we'll know what to do, or at least what happened."
"Oh, I know all your tools, I can fly this beauty better then you, sweetie." – said River automatically, Rose hands twitched a bit. –"Sorry" –she looked at Rose, she didn't mean to offend anyone.
"No, it's fine, really. I'll wait for you guys in the kitchen"
"Rose, I…" – the Doctor started. OK, maybe he hurried up about friendship.
"No, Doctor. Do what you have to do, besides I need to talk to Jake about how to handle the press and all. Have fun." – Rose waved weakly and hurriedly left the room. She didn't know what was happening to her. She had never felt so unsure of herself, so weak. Get a grip, agent Tyler! You travelled the Universes for crying out loud! You were a Bad Wolf and now you are terrified of someone from the Doctor's future, the Doctor that not even yours anymore? She tightened her shirt and called Jake.
River placed her hand on the tablet while the Doctor stared at the monitor. He didn't want Rose to be hurt, but he had to finish it as soon as possible, he had to send River back so he and Rose could go back to their normal lives and not to think about other Doctor's affairs.
"Waiting to get rid of me?" – asked River. She really didn't mean to hurt Rose, but she was glad she could talk to the Doctor. She knew she would never be able to talk properly about everything with her Doctor, but this one knew answers she wanted.
"You could have not call me "sweetie" – he said instead-"I am not your Doctor and I am most defiantly not your husband."
"I know and I am sorry about that. It just slipped out." – she looked at her hand. -"I just…I just have so many questions. You, the future you I mean never told me about this part of your life, about Rose. You always refused to go into that. And I am utterly confused."
"I imagine I would do that. But again it wasn't me, you should talk to your Doctor about this, I am not him anymore" – the Doctor shifted a bit.
"I know that, but we both aware that my Doctor won't talk about it. I am not even sure if I should tell him about all this" – she looked around.
"You probably shouldn't. I wouldn't want to know. " – he said coldly
"Really? Why?"
The Doctor didn't answer.
"Please, Doctor. Answer me this, at least once be honest with me." – she pleaded. The Doctor looked into her blue eyes and she shivered, she saw not the tall foxy man in front of her, she saw the Doctor, the Timelord, the one who saw the dawn of times and the end of the Universe, she could swear that he could see her soul.
"Because the pain of losing Rose can be only compared to the happiness she brought into our lives, and I know that he loves and hates her for that." – he said cruelly. The tablet beamed one last time and the Doctor left the room leaving River to her own very unhappy thoughts.
River entered the kitchen, she didn't know where else to go especially after such a revelation, well, after all, she did ask him being honest with her. The Doctor disappeared in unknown direction and River knew that she and Rose should talk eventually cause otherwise they won't find peace, so what the point to wait? Especially while the TARDIS and the Doctor are working on the plan.
"Hey, wanna cup?" – offered Rose, she knew that River would come here eventually, she noticed that the Doctor stormed out to the library, whatever they talked about it wasn't a pleasant conversation.
"Yeah thanks " – River smiled – "Truly British, drink tea when there is craziness going on."
"Well, we travel with the Doctor, so craziness is kind of goes with the job." – she handed River a cup – "So how did it go? I mean the scanning not the talk…" – River looked at her – "Come on, River, I maybe not a Timelord but I am not stupid, I saw how the Doctor stormed out. He doesn't like to talk about such things."
"Yeah, well. The talk went horrible, of course. And the scanning is still going. You know it's weird, I usually can hear the TARDIS clearly, now I feel just a tingle."
"You can hear the TARDIS?" – asked Rose
"Yeah, I have a connection with her too, that's why I asked you about it back in the car " – Rose raised her eyebrows and River explained – "I was conceived in the vortex, that's how I became this."
"Wow, that's one hell of a conception. So you like…the TARDIS's daughter ?" - River smiled at the old joke
"Well, it's one way of putting it, but I have my real parents they were humans, the Doctors latest companions I know of."
"How is he? " – asked Rose quietly – "I know it's none of my business anymore, I am just curious…You said companions…"
"It's OK, I would be too."- said River, she decided to be as honest as possible. If the Doctors won't talk, at least they would. – "Yeah, Amy and Rory, unfortunately they can't travel with him anymore, they sort of trapped in the past. Long story, but he is fine now, I hope. He regenerated since your Doctor."
"How does he look like?"
"Young, younger than yours" – River smiled – "Like a goofy child with ancient eyes."
"You said these Amy and Rory don't travel with him anymore…So he is alone now?"
"I suppose, yes. I can't be sure. Your Doctor must have told you that we travel in opposite directions, I'll see my Doctor only one more time and then I'll meet yours…I mean not this one, but the one form the past…You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I do" – answered Rose, she tried not to think of the fate that awaits River there, in spite of everything she liked her. She could see why the Doctor fell for her. – "Is…or was he happy while travelling with you and Amy and Rory?"
River looked at Rose with confusion. How can anyone tell if the Doctor really happy or not? He was excited and goofy and charming and…Then River thought about all those moments she saw this Doctor shared with Rose and understood that this woman knew what the truly happy Doctor looked like.
"I don't know, Rose " – she answered sincerely – "It's hard to say with my Doctor, he…well he never shares much, he was more or less open with Amy but we…well"
"But aren't you guys married in the future?" – Rose asked before she could register what and whom she was asking! Stupid! – "Sorry…"
"No, no. It's fine" – River repeated Rose's own words and sighed. She decided to be open so open. Besides who would better understand her then the woman who has a relationship with the Doctor? – "We are married, sort of, but not really" – she smiled bitterly – "It never was a real wedding, it's…complicated, the world was ending and I was young and stupid and stubborn, and anyway everything led to us either getting married or kill each other, we decided to go on more peaceful solution." – Rose wanted to add something but River continued. She never told this to anyone, not even her mother, but she wanted to get rid of this just for a little while. River looked into nothing and started to talk. – "Whatever you and your Doctor imagined about me you may forget that, I've been married to that man for years now and I only saw him a few times and most of my life I spend in prison for the murder of the Doctor so he could escape, I don't judge him or anything because he saved me from being a murderer of him and my own parents and saved the Universe of course…I am not even sure if he ever loved me." – she added in whisper.
Rose could feel her eyes burn, but she won't show her tears! River wouldn't want her pity, she wants a listener not a participant ex. And Rose is willing to give her that. Oh, Doctor! What the hell did you bring on yourself and on this woman?!
River continued:
"He never talked about you, even when I asked, your Doctor made it clear why." – she looked right into Rose's eyes – "You've asked me questions, now it's my turn, so answer me this, Rose Tyler. What it is like? What it is like to have him forever with you? To truly share your life with him? To wake up with him every morning? To be loved by him?"
"Do you really want to know the answer, River?" – asked Rose, this conversation is uncomfortable enough.
"No, I am not sure" – laughed River bitterly – "Really, I don't need the answer, the look on your face is enough. Thanks for trying not to show pity, to poor unloved wife."
"I am sorry" – said Rose – "But, River, I don't think you are fair enough. I mean, I understand you, your Doctor seems to behave like an arse and I am sure you know that he behaves like that most of the time, especially in normal relationships. What I am trying to say, that just because he doesn't tell you that he loves you, doesn't mean he doesn't feel that way. And besides, who knows what the Doctor really feels?"
"Yeah, maybe. But with you and the Doctor it's pretty obvious, it doesn't need saying." – Rose's heart jump at those words. The same words her Timelord Doctor said on the Bad Wolf Bay for the last time. Was it really that obvious? – "What?" – asked River at Rose's expression.
"Nothing…I just don't know what to say. Except, I think you should ask him, your Doctor I mean. If he says he loves you than everything is fine, if not, well then you can kick his pompous ass and move on. No matter what made you two guys get together it happened, so he has to respect that. But I am sure that the Doctor cares for you. He just always had troubles of showing it." – said Rose with a hint of a smile.
"Ha, Rose. Maybe for you it would be easy. But not for me. We never talk about such things. As I said we are not really close."
"But he told you his name." – said Rose.
"Yeah, he did. But I am sure you know it's too. And other people knew it. I'm not interested in his name. I need his love and I don't think he is capable of that anymore." – she looked at Rose – "It seems that he locked his hearts on the parallel Universe."
"Do you hate me?" – asked Rose. She didn't know what else to say.
"Hmm." – hummed River – "Interesting question. When I met you, I most certainly thought I would hate you, but now I can't for many reasons I don't wanna share."
"You should punch him in the face you know, for how he treated you. That's all I can think about"- said Rose honestly
"Well, I did slap him once or twice, but for different reasons" – smiled River – "We'll see. I am not sure if it's wise to talk to him about this particular adventure."
"Yeah, maybe you are right…I know it's selfish…But I just wanted you to give him a letter from me, just to tell him that he made a right choice." – Rose was looking somewhere River couldn't see. – "I know it's seems like a crazy thing, but I know that he needs to know that, I think this is one of the reasons he looks back sometimes. I want him to be free."
"Rose?.." – called River, but Rose didn't listen or couldn't, she looked into space and her eyes were glowing a bit.
"He has to save it and he has to be as free as possible and he needs all the help he could get. I just want him to be free from every burden that he has."
"Rose? Should I call the Doctor?" – River touched Rose's shoulder. She was a bit scared, what was she talking about? And what happened to her eyes? She was about to call for help, but help was already here.
The Doctor seemed to appear from nowhere. He kneeled down in front of Rose, tears was streaming from her eyes, just like all those years on the Game Station, she once again had one of the weird dreams about her Bad Wolf time, the Doctor cupped her face gently.
"Rose, please, it's over. Come back to me, come back, Rose." – he almost begged her. River had never seen anything like this, it was like if his life depended on whether she'll respond or not. She wondered how the Doctor managed to survive when he lost her.
Rose eyes went blank for a moment and then became her usual brown. She blinked a few times and touched her face.
"Doctor? What? Was I daydreaming again?" – she asked.
"Yes. And this time I had to call for you. Rose we have to stop it." – he said with concern – "What if one day I won't be there or won't be able to call you back?" – she touched his face. And then looked at River
"I am sorry if I scared you, it happens sometimes to me." – Rose apologized to River. – "What did I say?"
"Something about the letter and saving something and that he needs to be free from burden," – River was shaken a bit. – "I'll give him your message, Rose if you answer me this. What was that? What happened to you?"
"That was the Bad Wolf" – the Doctor answered.