You Can Live: Chapter 25

Yeah, so Chem can go away, and then I'd be happy, but instead, I take my pain out on Harry, cause I'm evil like that.

Disclaimer: you know

***Warnings: This chapter implies some very not good things!

Surprise, Surprise

Draco promised one last time to keep an eye on the few students at the school, and be extra cautious. He bid Severus goodnight and passed through the fireplace and back to the school. As Madam Pomfrey's apprentice, he had to stay close to her and her workplace. Even though school was not in session there was plenty for him to learn and in another few weeks, they would have to start preparing for the incoming students anyway. After the war, Headmistress Mcgonagall had allowed for some of the students who had lost their families to the war stay at the school during the summer. There were children who's parents were on either side of the war, so occasionally, a fight broke out between the twenty or so that stayed, and Madam Pomfrey and Draco would have to patch them up.

Draco had made the surprising decision to reside at the school, with permission from the Headmistress of course. He had no desire to floo back and forth from his home to the school everyday, and he couldn't say he was too upset about being away from home anyway.

The Manor was dark and oppressive in nature. Despite that the war was finally over, and his family no longer hosted both Death Eaters and the Dark Lord himself, his home didn't feel like home. Just a dark, cold building with rude relatives hanging on the walls. His parents had not been too happy with his choice of apprenticeship, giving him another reason to separate himself from them. He was perfectly content to live at Hogwarts.

This would account for the feeling of violation he felt when Severus informed him someone was spying on him for the MCW. Like they had invaded his home and were watching his every move. He did not appreciate it. Malfoy's did not let people spy on them. As soon as he was back in his private chambers, he cast his wand about to check for monitoring spells or eavesdropping spells. Draco sighed in relief when he found nothing of the sort. This probably meant they were monitoring the floo in the Hogwarts infirmary, or the MCW really had convinced a student to spy on him. He sorted through the children he knew in his head, and came up with a candidate immediately.

Jeremy Schuller. The young boy was only a third year and both of his parents had fought on opposite sides of the war. His mother had been killed, and his father was in Azkaban. Jeremy was a quiet boy, and kept to his books mostly, but Draco knew from faculty gossip that he and his father wrote each other every other day. The death of his wife and the subsequent prison sentence tearing him away from his son, had caused the man to repent of his ways and was apparently up for parole in a couple of months. Jeremy loved his father and his father loved him. They were all each other had left. This would make him an easy target for manipulation. All the officials had to do was threaten to make sure his father stayed in Azkaban indefinitely. Jeremy would do whatever they said.

However, this was all conjecture, and Draco was tired. He would check the Hospital Wing in the morning and then go from there.

The evening had been quite eventful. Draco felt like he had been thrown onto a broom already in flight. The worst he had seen had been Harry's panic attack that resulted in him locking himself in his wardrobe, and the aftermath of the nightmare where he gouged into his own neck. Neither of which were pleasant, but this was…definitely the worst. Whatever Harry was seeing was so bad he wasn't making a sound. He was paralyzed in fear, and Draco saw his eyes when it was all over. Even if Harry said he didn't remember anything from the dream, to Draco, he was still an open book. Harry had pain and shame written all over him.

Draco would be there for his friend whenever he needed it, but he could not deny that he feared what Harry might have to tell him.

Harry woke up to the sound of soft snoring by his bedside. It startled him at first, before the memories from the previous night came back to him, then he could not fight the flush on his cheeks. He had had a terrible nightmare, then couldn't get back to sleep without Severus sitting with him, like a child. He was not a child, and he would endeavor to prove that.

First step: taking care of himself. Harry slipped out of his bed on the opposite side to Snape, so as to not wake him. He pattered over to the bathroom, and avoided looking at the bags under his eyes. Harry began to unwind the bandages from around his neck, slowly and carefully. They would be able to stay off in another couple of days, but for now…

Once he had them off, he set them aside and started to poke at his neck a bit, feeling for any tender spots. Satisfied that all was well, he looked for the fresh bandages. When he couldn't find them, he nearly smacked himself on the forehead for his stupidity.

They were in his nightstand drawer…back in his room…behind Snape's chair. He bit his lip, almost considering summoning them, then realized he also left his wand back in his bedroom. No wonder Hermione was always acting all mother-hen on them in school. Without her, Harry probably would have left the room without his shoes. So, he tried to sneak back into his room and see if there was anyway he could manage to do this without waking Severus.

His chance was lost as soon as he opened the door, because right then, Snape woke up and spying an empty bed, shot out of his seat and looked about frantically. He only calmed when he spotted Harry standing sheepishly in his own doorway.

"Harry? When did you get up? And where are your wrappings?" The young wizard shuffled into the room, head hung, only slightly, and made his way over to his nightstand.

"I went to the bathroom to put on new ones myself, but realized I left them and my wand in here." He picked up said wand, and moved Severus's chair out of the way enough to get the drawer open.

There were the bandages, staring up at him all smug and- He really was going crazy.

"I will help you with them. You wouldn't be able to do it tight enough on yourself." Harry almost opened his mouth to object, but one sharp glance from Snape shut that down immediately.

He was too tired to argue anyway.

"Needing help to do something doesn't make you weak, Harry." Harry didn't answer, just held still long enough for Severus to finish.

"Alright. Today, you are going to read an entire chapter of that book," Harry just barely held in the groan of despair, "and then we are going to stop by my shop. A lot of stock came in, and I want you to start putting stuff on the shelves while I deal with forms and such." Only once Snape was finished wrapping, did Harry nod. Severus was quiet for a moment, but Harry could sense the potion's master was not pleased with something. Then it hit.

"Do you want to tell me about your dream, Mr. Potter?" The boy couldn't stop his automatic reaction. His eyes widened, and his breathing picked up. When Snape dared to look at the boy, his suspicions were confirmed. "Why did you lie to us, Harry? I do not tolerate lying at all, especially something like this." Harry's hands were shaking, but he balled them into fists. For a brief moment, he considered lying to his guardian again, but…he couldn't. It was like Veristuserum had been poured down his throat.

"I-I didn't remember anything. It was just…" Severus's raised eyebrow prodded him forward. "There were these…feelings. Like I had been feeling them during the dream, but they carried over. I-I don't know what happened." Snape stared at him for a few moments, before nodding.

"This is not uncommon. Most dreams are forgotten before we open our eyes, and only a small few stick around. However, nightmares seem to remain a great deal, especially ones that seemed as…vivid as yours." Harry didn't like the tone Severus used as he said that. He furrowed his brow and backed up a bit.

"What are you getting at, Sir?" Snape sighed, and tried to calm himself.

"Harry, I'm going to ask you a very difficult question." His ward's breathing sped up, and for a moment he wasn't sure he would go through with it. "Did you Uncle…ever…touch you? Inappropriately, or in a way that made you uncomfortable?" Ever teacher had to take classes on spotting abuse and confronting the students about it…reporting it. Maybe it was his bitterness that had blinded him, but what he had seen last night and the bruises he had observed on Harry's hips the fateful night, seemed to suggest….

"What?! No! No, he-he never…did anything like that!" Harry seemed entirely horrified by the very idea. Under normal circumstances, Snape would have felt relief. However, now he just could not believe his ward. He had seen the evidence with his own two eyes…unless…

"Perhaps…Harry, such acts are traumatizing in their own way, different from you fighting the Dark Lord or dying. Maybe your mind is trying to protect you, so that you can't remember what happened." Harry didn't listen, though, he just kept shaking his head in denial. He knew that his own feelings were strange and unusual, but he would remember something like…that. He would.

"No. Nothing like that happened. Ever." His voice was dark and straight. No inflection. He had to show Severus he was serious, despite the minute tendril of doubt. But, no. That was put there by Snape. It wasn't…it wasn't his.

Severus was taken aback at how vehemently his ward was denying anything of the sort, and knew he was dead on. Though, if Harry didn't remember it…perhaps, perhaps they should stay gone. Maybe he shouldn't drag them to the surface. So, after a few awkward moments of tense silence, he simply nodded.

"Alright, Harry. But, you know you can talk to me about anything." Once his ward nodded sharply, he let it go. "Very well. Snippy should have breakfast ready by now." Harry thought about just saying he wasn't hungry, but he knew Snape's rules about him eating. If he tried that it would just make everything worse…and he would make him take a nutrition potion. So, together they went downstairs and spent the next thirty minutes eating in silence. Even Snippy was giving them concerned looks.

Finally, the plates were cleared away, and Snape stood.

"I will give you two hours to read your chapter, and then I expect you to be ready to leave for the shop." Harry nodded, and they went there separate ways.

Harry had trouble focusing on his reading, and not just because of the terrible quality of writing and overabundance of information. He and Severus had never parted ways like that. Things were tense and uncomfortable the entire time, and Harry didn't like it. He was…upset that Snape would think that something like that had happened to Harry, but not because he said it. Because…it made that shame and self-hatred from the dream flare up.

He shook his head to focus himself once more. He kept getting himself off track, and Snape wanted him to get this chapter done and read and- Wait a minute. Harry could have smacked himself for forgetting something so helpful. One night when Hermione had dragged him and Ron to the library, she told them a spell she would use when she really needs to get through a lot of new information in a short amount of time. The spell was tricky, but Harry had gotten the hang of it pretty quickly.

Harry dragged his wand out of pocket and muttered a few words over the open pages. Suddenly, his mind swam with centuries of potions history. He took a few moments to calm his racing heart, before he smiled and closed the book. He remembered that the photographic memory element would fade in a few minutes but the information would still be there, and he just needed to skim the pages now to refresh it. For a very brief moment, he felt a twinge of guilt, like he was cheating, but it quickly went away. He had all of the information from the book that he needed, and he did it without wasting his time or falling asleep in the process.

So, he got dressed and ready for going to the shop. Checking the clock, he saw that he still had a little while before Snape was going to come collect him. Harry decided to stay in his room and chat with Albus some while he waited.

The bird didn't mind at all. He happily cooed and hooted in the appropriate places and pressed into Harry's hand whenever the boy pet him.

"You are a very cuddly bird, aren't you? Hedwig was too, though, so I don't mind at all. She was a good bird, Hedwig. Saved my life, though from what I've gathered you're pretty protective of me too. Even my familiars have to keep an eye on my it seems."

Harry got lost in his conversation with Albus, and didn't hear Severus come into his room.

"Harry. It is time to go. I hope you are ready." The young wizard startled, but nodded to his guardian. They both decided to settle for the awkward 'nothing happened, but it's still bothering me' state, and flooed to the shop on Kriton in silence. When they arrived Severus pointed to some boxes on the counter and floor.

"You are to stock the shelves according to the lay out I will give you. Be careful. Most of the ingredients are expensive and or dangerous. I will be downstairs if you need me." They parted ways, and Harry opened his first box. The task was simple, the lay out easy to follow, and his mind wandered. He kept a close enough eye on himself so that he didn't drop anything, but his mind went back to Severus's comments earlier in the day and he couldn't stop replaying them over and over. Harry had completely lost himself in his mind numbing job and almost dropped a jar of flobberworms when he turned and found himself face-to-face with a familiar face.

"Hello, Harry. Working hard I see." Harry clutched the jar to his chest and backed up into the counter.

"What are you doing here?" The man followed him step for step, and leered at him.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you of course."

I'm evil, I know. So sue me (though not really, please!) You probably aren't going to be seeing much fluff for a good while. Just so you know.

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