Unable to sit still after downing three glasses of scotch, Castle paced around in his living room while his writer's mind conjured up worst case scenarios.

He questioned himself to why Kate would have felt the need to lie to him. Maybe she doesn't feel the same way? Is she embarrassed? Nothing can stop a lump from forming in his throat.

He is just about ready to completely break down when there is a knock at his door.

Who could that be? I don't really want to see anyone right now.

Not wanting to look as though he has just had his heart broken, he sucked it up and swung open his door.

Totally not who he wanted to see right now.

Castle's face instantly dropped from a fake smile to an unreadable expression as his eyes fell on Kate at his doorstep.

"Beckett what do you wa..." She has never been the best with words so she does the only thing she can think of. Kisses him. She sealed her lips over his with an overwhelming sense of need and urgency. At first he was tense and stiff against her, but unable to resist the urge he has to answer her kiss.

It's was just like their first kiss back in that alley only about ten times better, filled with more passion, more urgency.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and thread her fingers through the short hairs at his nape. He wants to kissed her like this all the time but first he needs answers, reassurance. He reluctantly pulls away to find her hazel eyes filled with to the brim unshed tears. She rested her forehead on his as she breathed unevenly.

"I'm so sorry Castle, I'm so sorry.." It was barely audible, but with their closeness he heard her.

"Kate, why did you lie to me? Are you embarrassed?" His voice cuts through her like a knife, anger mixed with complete sadness. It hurts her even more knowing she is the source of his pain. "Look if you don't feel the same way i..." She cuts him off by putting her fingers to his mouth.

"How could you be so smart yet so clueless? I'm not embarrassed. I could never be embarrassed of you Castle. I was just so scared..." She trails off choosing her words carefully. Tracing the shape of his lips with her fingers.

"I'm not good at relationships. You know that. You've said it before, I keep one foot out the door. I get into relationships with men i don't love. When I got shot and you told me you loved me i - i just couldn't handle it. I wasn't ready to hear that. So I pretended i didn't, but everyday I would hear your voice in my head.. and that made me want to get better... for you, so I could have the kind of relationship i want with you..." Tears streamed down her face and Castle wiped them away with his thumb, wrapped his arms tightly around her. She relaxed into him and rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady beats.

"Shhh... it's okay Kate, i understand" her barley audible sobs made him want to do anything to make her feel better. He pressed soft kisses in her hair as he's ran his hands up and down her back, trying to sooth her.

Kate lifted her head and looked up at him, the anger in his eyes dissipated into thin air. Replaced by obscene amounts of love and understanding that made her heart flutter. It made the decision for her.

What are you waiting for Kate? You're never going to be as ready as now, right?

"I'm ready Rick, for us.." She whispers.

Smiling at the use of his first name Castle was surprised by her words.

"Really?" He asked, his words unsure.

"Yeah... I think we've wasted enough time dancing around our feelings." Her own words put a huge smile on her face. She hugged him with all her strength.

"Could you ever forgive me?" she says with a hesitant smile.

"Always"

"I love you, Kate" Hearing those words again, she lifts her head to place a delicate, loving kiss to his soft lips and he smiled against her mouth.

"I know" He understands how she truly does love him even if she isn't ready to say the words. She hopes one day soon she will be ready to repeat his loving words back to him. For now his words seem to replay in her head 24 seven.

I love you, Kate

Always

One day Castle. One day I'll be able to tell you how much i really do love you. Someday soon.