Needless to say, Alec was still in shock after the kiss in his kitchen. It's not that bad of a shock considering he have had heart attacks and the pacemaker gives him that annoying tingle when his heart gets worked up. Since Ellie had left two hours before, he sat himself on the couch. It's going to be another night that he wouldn't be able to go to sleep - that is because he was planning for their date. Still, generally it was because of the kiss on his countertop. Hell, she could have picked a better spot.
Daisy walked into the house only to find him in the dark living room staring at telly which wasn't even on. Locking the door behind her and headed straight for the stairs, she made a detour and stood in front of her dad, wondering why he didn't acknowledge her return, "I take it you asked her."
"Aye."
"And that she said yes."
Alec glared at her, wondering how she got the answer right.
"She was in an extra good mood tonight," Daisy lowered herself and gave her dad a kiss on the cheek, "That and also because she kissed me goodnight. I'm going to bed now, dad."
"Goodnight, darlin'."
He heard her voice in the distance as she began to walk away and up the stairs, "Night."
Alec went back to staring at the blank TV screen and started planning for the date, sighing exasperatedly.
First thing he did in the morning was stopping Tom as he walked outside to take out the trash, stuttering and mumbling his way through, trying to tell the boy that he has asked his mum out, "I know, Hardy. Daisy already told me."
"You alright with that?"
The boy shrugged, "I said you're good, didn't I?"
Alec scrunched up his face.
"I like you, Hardy. I trust you. But it's up to mum. I can only look out for her. She decides what's best for herself."
He didn't know what to expect, but when he saw Ellie step out of the house in a three layer combo of t-shirt, shirt and the leather jacket he bought for her, Alec almost slid off his motorbike that he had been leaning on. Hell, he'd seen her in suits, a night robe and even his garments. But it was the finishing looks of her black tapered jeans and hiking boots that had really knocked the wind out of him. If looks could kill, he'd be dead by now with the smile she approached him with. He couldn't really make it out if she looked really rugged and beautiful at the same time that he could die of a cardiac arrest or that she looked like she could snap a person's neck with only two fingers if you happen to be in her way. And knowing Ellie, the latter wouldn't be that impossible. Maybe that was why he was so blown away.
A lifetime ago - the life when he was dying and she was still married - dating her wouldn't even be at the top of his list. Hell, it never was anyway until Tom mentioned it and Daisy pushed him. It's not that he didn't find her attractive. He just never realised it until they went separate ways. Now here she is approaching him with such a refreshing look, all her independent-mum vibes gone causing him to struggle with finding his ability to stand and the helmet he held in hand almost slipped off his grip.
"Jesus," She ran up to him, helping him to get back on his feet, "Are you alright?"
He nodded over and over, waving a hand at her to seal assurance.
"Bloody hell, we haven't even started and you already lost balance. I'm trusting you with my life riding this bike, for goodness sake!"
Alec rolled his eyes, shoving a helmet at her to shut her up.
"Knob."
Through his peripheral vision, he saw his daughter laughing at him as she stood on the balcony of his house. In another corner, he saw Tom hung his head before he shook it and proceeded to tow along Fred as he walked back into the house.
It was typical, their date. Alec had brought them back to the coffeehouse where they first met and settled at the table where they had their not so conventional lunch reunion at. Apparently, Daniel was working that day and he approached them rather carefully. Alec noticed this and if he weren't in public, he would have laughed knowing that the teenager was probably still traumatised having witnessed their rather heated reunion banter.
"Anything for both of you?" Daniel greeted.
"Earl Grey and a glass of warm water for me, thanks." Alec replied.
"Ms Knight?"
"An orange juice, please. We'll get the food later."
When Daniel walked off, Alec was fidgeting in his seat and Ellie went straight into a conversation, "What now?"
"Honestly, I don't know." Alec shrugged.
"Not even five minutes in you are already the worst date I ever had."
He shrugged again, "Aren't dates where you are supposed to go to some place special, you hang out and you talk – about yourselves; your likes and dislikes."
"Are you quoting Enchanted?"
He shrugged again, recalling it to be one of the movies they watched the day before, "I like Disney movies."
"Well, there you go."
They talked on a little more, sharing their favourite Disney movies. Alec was uncomfortable about admitting his preferences but he was glad that Ellie didn't even seem a bit shocked at the fact that he goes for sappy chick flicks and rom-coms. He, however, found out that she cried watching Finding Nemo.
When Daniel arrived with their drinks, they ceased their conversation and ordered their meals; she settled for fish and chips, Alec went for the Caesar salad — again.
Her next question started off another topic in whole, "Have you ever thought about it?"
"About what?" He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to adjust to the hot drink that burned his lips as he sipped on it.
"Returning to Broadchurch. Or Sandbrook, even," Ellie clarified herself, "Have you ever thought about returning there?"
Alec placed his cup down, pushing it aside before folding his arms, leaned forward and perched it on the table. He took a deep breath in, trying to pull his train of thought together, but he didn't really know how to answer it, "Sometimes."
She mirrored him and maintained her silence, waiting for him to continue.
"I did thought of returning to Broadchurch. But not Sandbrook. Even if it was for Daisy, never Sandbrook. I had nothing left there. Not even Daisy then."
He expected her to let go of the topic, thinking that he had answered her question. But she surprised him with another one, "Then why didn't you?"
Alec tilted his head, "Didn't I what?"
"Return to Broadchurch?"
He sighed, pulling the cup back to him, "I didn't belong there. There was nothing left for me there I either."
"Then why did you think of returning there in the first place?"
Alec's heart almost got worked up at this point but he was saved when Daniel arrived with their meals. He invited her to take a bite of the meal first, thinking that she will drop the topic. Ellie was silent at first and he thought that she knew that their conversation was making him uncomfortable but as he was about to take his third bite, she went at it again, "You haven't answered my question yet."
"Realized it after I considered it."
"But you thought there was something there for you before that. What was it?"
"Are you trying to sharpen your detective skills on me?"
Ellie shrugged her shoulders, poked into her fish and took a bite, "You don't talk much. I know you don't keep a diary. You don't have friends. Do you have a heart to heart talk with yourself, Hardy?"
Alec remained shut.
"Didn't think so."
"We can talk about it if you want. But not here. Let's just finish up our meal."
He hates talking like that, as if everyone is under his orders. But throughout his years of being a copper and being a DI, he couldn't seem to get rid of it. Alec knows that it makes people feel uncomfortable and small but he couldn't really help himself. His social skills were really not the finest.
"Fine," Ellie changed the topic in a whole, "How are you feeling today, Hardy? How is your heart feeling?"
Alec rolled his eyes but answered her anyway, although a bit bitterly, as he continued to consume his salad, "A bit nervous. Don't really want to be outside. I just want to stay at home and lie down. My heart's doing fine."
"Alec Hardy feels nervous being outside, huh? Is that really why your social skills aren't tops?"
He was just glad that they didn't continue to banter on and had moved on to talking about their schooldays. Alec found that her stories were so much more interesting than his – she talked about hanging out with her classmates and friends. She discovered that he wasn't any less of a hermit than he is.
Alec suggested that he just leave the bike where it was in front of the coffee house and they walked side by side, making a stop at the ice-cream shop to get one for each of them. Going down the street as they licked on their ice-cream, Ellie laughed.
"What?"
"Bloody hell. We even have matching outfits. Leather jackets and all."
They talked about their ideal weather, the dates they both had gone too and their first kiss. Alec thought it was a risky topic to get on, afraid of Ellie being reminded of Joe, of Danny, of whatever happened in Broadchurch. But she never got to it. She went straight on to complaining of how one knob got her a cut lip when he accidentally bit it too hard when they were kissing. Most of it was just her talking and Alec didn't mind a bit. He doesn't have much to talk about in the first place, probably just to share about how he asked Tess out and almost fainted because he was too nervous. Again, he realised that she didn't find it at all, "So, really. You're just a shy person? That explains your lack of friends and social skills. Is that why you're bitter most of the time as well?"
He got them both back on the bike and rode to a castle ruin that was on a cliff. It had a gorgeous view; they could see the sea in the distance, grass plains surrounding the ruins and most important of all, the lack of any other human being. She led him into the castle, travelling all the way up a tower. Both looked about in random directions, taking in the view into memory. The coastal wind was stronger there too that they decided to sit against a wall to escape the breeze.
For a few moments, they sat in silence, but when Alec felt Ellie slowly leaning into him, he wrapped an arm around and brought her closer so that she leans on his shoulder.
"How are you, Hardy?"
"I'm good, thanks." That's going to be their conversation starter for quite a while, he thought, "You?"
She snuggled in further and wrapped an arm around his waist, burying her nose at the nape of his neck, "I miss having someone to talk to."
Alec wondered if Joe had always been the listening ear at home. Ellie talks a lot and someone like her, Alec knows that she will have someone to let her feelings out to. He wondered if Ellie would snuggle up to Joe to after a long day to comfort herself, he listening to her rants patiently, both hanging onto each other. If it was true, that will explain the cuddly times they had for the past week. It's not that he's complaining, it's comforting for him too. To him, it just means that Ellie had put a lot of trust in Joe, had loved him very much, had hung onto him with every bit that she had. That will explain why she was so broken. Ellie wears her heart on her sleeve most of the time – even when she fakes a smile – it's so bloody obvious she's hurting. She hides her emotions behind a clear glass – you can see right through her. But that clear glass was also her way of deflecting, making it all the more annoying or him because there is no point in doing so.
But with Tess, he never had much of confiding in or being confided to. Tess was too much of an independent woman on her own. But when they marriage fell out, she didn't break his heart as much as he thought she would, it's leaving him all alone by himself that does. She always sets a distance between them but he still loved her nonetheless. With Tess, they never had much talking – just arguing most of the time. Maybe that's why when he met Ellie, he couldn't stand the fact that she talks so much.
In the end, they are there at top of a tower of the castle ruins; Ellie snuggled up to him and Alec holding onto her tight. He sighed before placing a kiss in her hair, "I don't talk much but I can listen to you if you want."
Alec felt her arm removing itself from around his waist, snaking up his body before Ellie placed her palm on his chest, tracing the bumps of the scar that was concealed by his t-shirt, "You still haven't answered my question."
He tensed at the feeling of her breath against his neck, "Which one?"
"Returning to Broadchurch. You thought you had something there left for you. What was it?"
He didn't even hesitate.
No need for second thoughts.
No need for tension.
He just let it out, "You."
She looked up so quickly she hit her head to his chin, "What?"
They separated, Ellie sitting up straight, Alec rubbing his chin and scowling in pain, wondering if her curls had actually cushioned her head. Sadly for him, he got a small cut that started bleeding due to one of her hair pins, "Bollocks."
"Oh, fuck. Sorry!" She cupped his chin, pulling out a handkerchief from her pocket to wipe the blood away.
"What the hell was that?"
"Why did you have to say that?"
"You wanted an answer, I gave you mine!"
"Yeah, but why did you say me?"
"Because you're the only reason I have!"
They paused. Ellie pulled back her hand together with her handkerchief but Alec grabbed hold of the cloth from her, bringing it up to his chin to sooth it again.
"Then, why didn't you come back?"
He didn't dare to look into her eyes to admit it. So, he adjusted himself, folding his legs in and just fidgeting so that he doesn't have to look at her while he answered, "Heard you were doing fine. You didn't need a reminder of the shit that happened."
"But why me?"
He sighed, "I broke your family apart and got out of town knowing that you are left with two sons to be raised on your own. Do you really think I didn't worry?"
"And you think, 'oh, heard Miller's doing fine now. I don't need to go back and visit her already.'?"
Alec didn't answer. He thought that was rhetorical, having explained himself in the first place. Despite his silence, she managed a small smile anyway, her eyes tearing up as she went for his neck to hug it. He flinched as one her pins grazed his already cut chin. He restrained himself from scowling in pain, not really wanting her to let go. Although her actions were sudden, Alec managed to slowly raise his arms up to wrap it around her slowly, their leather jackets rustling a little too loudly against each other. When she finally let him go, he placed back the handkerchief under his chin.
"Holy shit, did I cut you again?"
They arrived home quite early that night. Both of them was thinking if they should just cook dinner with the children but when they arrived, Daisy and Tom was in Alec's kitchen preparing for the meal.
Fred ran up to hug his mother's legs, Daisy was cutting up some tuna whereas Tom was drying up his hands, the latter asking his mom as he set the towel back down and when to the fridge to take out some vegetables, "What are you doing back so early?"
"Aren't you supposed to be out on a date?" Daisy interjected.
"Why are you not outside having a candlelight dinner or something?"
"Date went wrong?"
The sudden burst of questions set both their parents back; Ellie raised an eyebrow, Alec feeling the blood rushing up to his face. Still, Alec did what he does best – to pretend –and he put on a calm and annoyed front, "We were just worried about you lot."
"Oh, wow. I think they could make really good parents for us already, Tom."
While Ellie scoffed, Alec rolled his eyes at his witty daughter, "Don't burn my kitchen down."
He saw Daisy smirked as she continued cutting up. Alec doesn't really like her smug look – she seemed too much like her mother.
"Fine, then," Tom grabbed a cutting board and a knife, "Take care of Fred for us. We'll get dinner ready. Watch telly or something. Just relax. We'll call you up when we're ready. That alright, mum?"
Frankly, Alec was astounded at how Tom sounded so much just like him – taking control of the situation, giving orders. He was actually proud of the boy that he could actually manage to come up with a set of instructions for his mum when he could barely hold a proper conversation with Alec. The Scotsman didn't show his amazement but instead bent to remove Fred from crushing his mum's legs, settled the toddler on his hip and walked away without saying anything.
In the distant he could hear Ellie saying, "Didn't know you could cook."
"Picked up a few skills from your boyfriend."
Alec's cheeks flushed.
Ellie had simply thrown aside her leather jacket onto the couch and Alec didn't know to feel amused at her heedlessness or to feel offended at the lack of care. Or maybe it was just her being too comfortable in her home. While she cleaned Fred up, he learnt how to switch on the Blu-ray DVD player and mastered the functions as he put on a random movie he'd picked up. His eyes were giving away halfway through the movie about a man who has metal claws out of his knuckles when he felt cold tiny palms tapping at his cheeks. He growled, "No, lad. Not now."
Fred stood on his laps, still tapping at Alec's cheek, "Dee-dee."
"Aye," Alec scrunched his face but he didn't really attempt at stopping the boy from whatever he was doing.
"Dee-dee!"
"It's Haaar-dee," Alec put up his own two palms on each side of Fred's chubby cheeks, slightly annoyed and amused by the boy.
"Daaa-dee!"
Alec laughed, "One day, lad. If your mum found someone meant for her, aye?"
For a little while more, he let Fred poke his eyes and talked to him in a mixed language of baby and English until Ellie plopped herself beside him.
Not a single word exchanged between them.
When he felt her snaked an arm around his waist, he let it be.
He had really gotten used to it.
Until Fred decided to squeeze in between them.
Dinner was a heart-healthy meal and a bit of a bummer for Fred. The toddler would eat the salmon but not the greens. Ellie would have fed him the aglio olio if it had not been a little too spicy for the young one. Alec was impressed at the teenagers' culinary skills that he actually praised them both causing raised eyebrows and gaping mouths from the surprise of Alec actually complimenting people.
"You've got a little something there, dad." Daisy circled her chin to point it out to her father, "Let me get that for you."
Before he could pull away, his daughter was already wiping at his chin only for him to flinch in pain, "That's a cut, darlin'."
"But you didn't have it when you left this morning."
He really didn't expect for his daughter to be so observant, "I cut myself just now."
"Yeah, but how?"
Alec could not really resist but to look at Ellie to ask for help in answering the question, but it only caused a whole other meaning to his daughter when she dragged an, "Oooh…."
Tom rolled his eyes.
"It's not exactly what you think it is," Alec tried to explain himself but really, he just made the dinner suddenly very awkward.
"Nope," Daisy smirked as she chewed on her salmon, "Don't need to know."
While Daisy and Tom got themselves on the X-Box in the boy's room, Alec and Ellie were in the latter's room, seated at the edge of her bed, trying to tuck wee Fred to sleep. As the boy sucked on his milk bottle, he slowly started to give way to sleep. Finally, he gave up and handed Alec his bottle before rolling over on his side, hugging his bolster and eventually fell asleep.
Ellie stroked Fred's curls and bent over, settling a kiss on the boy's crown.
"To be honest, that was a really boring date," He heard her said softly.
Alec rolled his eyes.
"But it wasn't exactly terrible," She continued, "It was nice."
A small smile formed on his lips. He didn't exactly need to say anything – other than the fact that he don't know what to say – but he knew he didn't have to. It was just so comforting to him to see her warm smile despite the dimly lit room. He could feel then that maybe everything was falling into place for her as well; her son now so matured despite just turning into a teenager, a stable job and past that doesn't seem to bother her much anymore.
They stared at each other for a while longer until he heard Daisy's voice from across the hallway, "If you two are planning to get on something, I suggest you close the door."