#3
It happened on one afternoon. There was no practice. No meetings. They had just won Love Live, and the only thing left was waiting the time to come.
The third years would graduate in a few months. Maki had seen the trio seniors restlessly studying for the exams. Nico, as one would expect, was failing terribly keeping her study if not for Maki. Surprisingly, Nozomi needed help almost the same.
She remembered Eli asked her desperately to tutor Nico because her hands had full with Nozomi. She didn't know what Eli expect from a first year like her. But she accepted it nonetheless. She didn't want Nico to fail.
And after all that cramming, forcing the older girl to concentrate—Maki learned that Nico was actually capable of studying if only she could put her mind to it—they all passed with flying colors. Not really. Eli was the only one accepted by her first-choice university. While Nozomi then said her second-choice was actually her first.
Maki doubted it at first. But remembering the location of her second-choice college, which was nears Eli's, she started reconsider. After all, this was Nozomi.
Well, most importantly, they were all still in Tokyo. That was her thought when she heard the news.
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Then, that happened. It was supposed to be her congratulation gift for Nico. They were alone in music room. She was playing the song Nico requested with the older girl sat beside her. She didn't know it would let to the event she'd never want to happen.
"Say, Maki-chan…," Nico pressed one key randomly when the song's over. "What will you do after you graduate?"
The redhead hummed lightly. "Didn't I said if before? I will become a doctor."
"And inherited your family's hospital?"
"Yes."
Nico didn't say anything for a while. She then moved her body away, facing her. "Do you really want it?"
Maki frowned, staring back at the ruby eyes. "It doesn't matter."
"It matter, Maki," said Nico. "I know you can become a doctor easily, knowing your capabilities. You're smart, genius even. But do you really want to? I have feeling your parents—father is the one who want it."
"You don't know, Nico-chan," Maki felt her face hardening.
"That's why I asked, right?"
Maki didn't reply.
"Maki-chan," Nico said softly. "When you were playing the piano before… or when you compose the song for us… You always looked really happy doing it. When I saw Maki-chan like that, I always thought you will do the work that involved music. And I know you have talent… great talent for it."
"…I said it doesn't matter, right, Nico-chan?" Maki said with bitter expression. "I have to become a doctor, and I have to inherit the hospital. Other things like music, song… it's not important."
"Why are you giving up so quickly?" Nico looked a bit miffed.
"You don't understand," Maki dismissed. However, Nico was not one to back down without a fight, especially when she was annoyed.
With a snarl, the older girl grabbed her shoulder, forcing Maki to look at her.
"Then make me," said Nico almost in growl. "I do understand how hard it is to realize your dream. You know that I wanted to be an Idol from a long time ago. Even though the circumstances didn't support me, I'd never dream to give that up. And look where's that gotten me? Even now, my dream hasn't changed. Maybe not with you all, but I'll become an idol again. That's why I didn't understand why you have to be a coward and-"
Maki glared. "What's what gotten you? In the end, you became a school idol because Honoka asked you to. Honoka was the one who did all the work. She was the one who gathered us."
"Wha—"
Maki should have stopped that time. But she was too blinded by rage to notice the betrayed look on Nico's eyes. "And aren't you a bit too old now to only started as new Idol?! Do you really think you could make it? You aren't that special!"
…Ah.
The red head paused. She gulped, starting to feels guilty. She said too much. However her pride and stubbornness prevented her to quickly apologize. And it was one of the things Maki would really regret in the future.
"—that so?"
"Huh?"
"So that's what you think," the smaller girl murmured without looking at the red head. "Fine… maybe you're right."
Maki bit her lip.
"...Nico-chan, I'm—"
Nico looked up, smiling. It was the most heartbroken expression Maki had ever seen. So heartbroken it quickly silenced her. "It's okay, Maki-chan. Whatever suit you better."
And she left.
After that, they never talked to each other again. With the third years finally graduated, they'd never even meet anymore. While the other members of µ's had monthly meet-up a few times within this year, Maki never went to any of it. She was always making excuse to reject their invitations.
She then knew from Rin and Hanayo that Nico rarely came too.
She thought it was the end of their relationship. Fortunately, her stubbornness would go away few years later.
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Maki wakes up in sweat. She's dreaming about the past again. She moves her face, trying to look at Nico—and know she's there with her. But instead of her, she's only seeing the bed that has been made, without any occupant on it. A bit groggy, Maki gets up. She can feel the blanket surrounded her body falling to her lap. She doesn't remember putting any though…
"Nico-chan?"
She calls with no answers. Folding the blanket on top of the bed, Maki makes her way to the kitchen. But no one in there. She feels her heart sink. Remembering how Nico left her in the music room after their quarrel few years ago. Remembering how her parents sometimes leave her alone in their big house because of work when she was a child.
"Nico-chan? Nico-chaan?"
She's frantically searching throughout the apartment. Inside the bathroom, toilet, the balcony, even the closet. But Nico can't be found anywhere. Even though this apartment is very small compared to her home, Maki still can't find her. Feeling panic surging into her chest, Maki calls again. "Nico-chan? Nico—"
"—I'm home."
"Nico-chan!" Maki jumps into the surprised girl's arm. "Nico-chan!"
Nico, doesn't expect this welcoming when she gets home, can only pats Maki on the back. "Sshh, Maki-chan… what's wrong?"
"Where were you?" the red head asks without letting her go.
"Uhh… shopping? I had to buy some ingredients for dinner," Nico says, confused with Maki's condition. "Hey, Maki-chan. Calm down. I didn't disappear, you know."
"You won't?" Maki stares at the older girl.
"I… won't?"
"And you aren't mad at me anymore?"
She freezes. "…why I have to be mad at you?" She tries to push Maki away and move. "I'm not."
Maki grips Nico's arm tightly, doesn't intend to let her go. "Please, Nico-chan. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. What I was saying back then. I.. didn't mean it. I…"
"Maki-chan," Nico cuts off. Her voice sounds pained. "Just forget it."
Maki bits her lips. "Please," Nico takes one of Maki's hands from her arm. She almost thinks Maki would let the matter go when the red head doesn't say anything.
"No." Nico widens her eyes.
Maki hangs her head down. "I can't, Nico-chan. I want us back. Like before. That's why I want you to hear me. You know… what I was saying back there… I didn't mean any of that. And I didn't think any of that. I know you were always working hard, Nico-chan. µ's wasn't consisted with Honoka only. If you were not there, we couldn't become what we would become. You're special, Nico-chan. Very special. Don't you believe the me, or anyone else, that say otherwise.
Rin and Hanayo always talked about how they miss you whenever they came back from one of our-their gatherings. Saying why Nico-chan was our upperclassman even though she was so small.
Honoka sometimes speak how lonely it was now after you all graduated and she would then said your catchphrase to liven things up.
Kotori often looked lost because she didn't have someone to discuss about her design.
While Umi didn't appear any different, I know she missed you too. Whenever she scolded Honoka and Rin, she was sometimes saying your name along even though you were not there."
Maki blinks back her tears. "And I… I miss you too, Nico-chan. I know I didn't say anything like that until now. I know that I avoided you before. But it was because I didn't know how to confront you after our… fight. I didn't know how to apologize to you. After you made that expression… I just didn't know what to do.
"And I'm selfish. I've finally gotten up the courage to meet you because I need you. Because you are right, I'm a coward. I'm weak. I-"
"—well… I know that I'm always right, Maki-chan. After all, Nico is the number one Idol in the world."
Maki looks up instantly, and she can feel her tears falling when she sees Nico's genuine smile. It's been so long. The older girl pulls her into hug. "Maybe you were weak before, Maki-chan. But now you're not. And you have to believe me for that."
"Because you're Nico, the number one Idol in the world who is always right?"
Nico grins.
"Yeah. Because I am."
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If she thought, after that all would be well, she is wrong. Nico is still Nico. However her change isn't something Maki can easily adjust. Or maybe she just becomes more sensitive to the older girl's insecurities. And though that's a good thing, she's still feeling clumsy about it. As if she was walking on a fragile glass where any missteps could ruin it all.
She avoids bickering with Nico. And she knows the older girl still held back whenever they interacted. They're like two strangers trying to be polite and considerate with each other. Nico isn't always like that, and she knows she isn't too.
And lastly, though Nico's still saying she's the number one idol when she's fooling around, Maki almost never see her touches anything that related to idols lately. Yes, there are idol merchandises in her room, but when Maki checked, they are all old stuff she had had before graduate.
Maki wonders… whether Nico remembers her statement that saying she would become an Idol again.
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A week has passed since she left home. Her parents have known her where-about from the first night she spent in Nico's apartment, thanks to the older girl. It's no wonder when she called her mom, she doesn't sound very worried. And Maki knows her mom must have been convincing her father to let her staying away for a while.
But… it doesn't change anything if she kept running from them. She knows she has to confront them sometimes soon. However she still doesn't know what she supposed to say or do to make her father understand her dream.
And there's the possibility he won't back down from his decision no matter what.
"Maki-chan… it'd be fine. You just have to talk to him. I think he's not as strict as you mention. He just cares about you a lot," says Nico. "He's still playing as Santa every year, after all," she adds in whisper.
"I-I know… I'll talk to them… tonight," Maki says, twirling her hair.
"Good then, don't wait too long," Nico gets up. "Well… I have to go to class. You'll be a good girl now, right?"
"Don't treat me like I'm your little sister."
"But you're my little sister, Makki!" Nico replies, suddenly using masculine language and changing her voice to sound deeper.
Maki flinches. "Don't bring up that story again."
The raven haired girl only grins in reply. "Bye, Maki-chan. I'll be going."
Maki nods and waves her hand halfheartedly. She then mumbles under her breath. "Usually you would continue, Nico-chan."
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"Hey, Maki-chan! Morning!" Honoka, as always, greets her enthusiastically. Raising her hand high in the air, she smiles almost too bright for Maki to see. Because of that, she hasn't paid any attention to other girls beside Honoka.
"It's afternoon, Honoka," she says, when there's another voice calling.
"Ah, it's really Maki-chan!"
The red head blinks her eyes. "Kotori? Umi?"
"Good afternoon, Maki," says Umi.
"What are you doing here?" Maki asks. She often pays visit to the bakery where Honoka works—after their small reunion, but she never meet them until now. And considering she never went to their monthly meet-up, it is the first time she meets Kotori and Umi after their graduation.
"We are checking Honoka," Umi glances at the girl. "Making sure she's working hard. And not skip it to eat the bread she's supposed to sell."
"Hey, you're not the manager!" protests Honoka. Umi just smirks at her as reply.
"She's just kidding, Maki-chan," says Kotori. "Honoka's shift would be over after this. We're waiting for her to hang out."
"Umi's kidding?"
Kotori chuckles. "I think Umi-chan's starting to loosen up after going to college. Maybe because she doesn't have to look after Honoka-chan anymore?" she says the last part in teasing voice.
"Hey, I heard that!" Honoka pouts behind the counter. "Why are you two suddenly like to ganging up on me? Don't be cocky just because you're a university student. I'm now a full-fledged adult!"
Maki's watching their interaction in amazement. It's been only one and half year since she last saw them. But they've already changed this much. It's not only Umi. Even Kotori too. Maki never expected her to tease Honoka like that before.
"Hey, hey, Maki-chan?" says Honoka, making her comeback from la-la-la land.
"Huh? What?"
"Do you want to buy something? Is Nico-chan making you do chores again?"
"Hm. No? I mean, yes. Uh… the usual, please."
"Coming right up! Please wait a minute!"
While Honoka's preparing her order, Umi suddenly looks at her.
"I heard from Honoka that you'are staying with Nico."
Maki nods, moving her gaze away. Their fight was not a secret. Everyone from µ's, and even her classmates have known about it. So she's always feeling awkward whenever they ask about her and Nico now.
"Good for you," Umi smiles. Maki's not sure what's that supposed to mean. "Her cooking is as delicious as usual, right?" she adds like an afterthought.
"Uh.. yeah?" She doesn't know where this going.
"You know, Maki-chan," Kotori speaks up. "There was one time when Umi-chan fell sick. Honoka-chan and I were really busy at that time so we couldn't visit her. Then Honoka-chan asked Nico-chan to look after Umi-chan when she came to the bakery."
Maki looks at the bluenette.
"Yes," Umi says. "And Nico did come. She was grumbling a bit about Honoka, but she really took care of me. I'd never know she could be reliable until that time."
"And that was when Umi-chan ate Nico's cooking," Kotori finishes their story.
"It was really good," the bluenette nods her head.
"…uh… why are you telling me this?" the red head asks after she's sure they don't have anything else to tell.
"Well, just say hello to Nico for us, okay?" Umi says. "I didn't get many chances to meet her, unlike Kotori and Honoka."
"And we'll meet a lot from now on, since Drama Club is starting to get busy," Kotori perks up.
"Are you playing?" the red head asks. She remembers Nico and Eli's conversation few days ago. But she's not sure what Nico does.
"No, no. I'm in charge of the costume," the grey haired girl shakes her head. "And Nico-chan is really skilled at making props."
The red head hums. "She's not on stage? It's a surprise considering her like to spotlight…" Maki drawls, feeling the sudden drop in the atmosphere.
"Yes, really," Kotori smiles a bit melancholy. "Anyway, It's nice to see you, Maki-chan." She says when sees Honoka's coming over. "You will take exam soon, right? Good luck with that!" Umi nods her support.
"Thanks…"
Maki accepts the paper bag from Honoka.
"Say, Maki-chan. Do you want to join us? We can get dinner together," Honoka props her elbow to the counter, giving her big smile.
"Um no… I've got plans tonight…"
"Is that so?"
"Yes, sorry."
"No worries," Honoka waves her hands. "You will come around sooner or later. I bet my life on it."
"You don't have to bet it," Maki says dryly. "Well, then. Bye." She nods her head at the trio before leaving.
"See you again, Maki-chan."
"Good bye."
When the red head has disappeared behind the door, they look at each other in the eyes.
"She's not saying anything," says Umi.
"Maki-chan sure is stubborn," Honoka murmurs. "But it's nice seeing her and Nico-chan made up, right?" They nod at that.
"Maybe all member of µ's could finally get together this year," Kotori says wishfully.
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The red head isn't moving. She's standing in front of her house's front gate, trying to gather her courage. She feels tempted to go back, to Nico's apartment, hiding away her problems under the kotatsu. But Nico's reaction to her cowardliness, which is nothing, would definitely make her stomach aches.
Past Nico would scold her. But current Nico is too considerate to do that. Yes, she will nudge her from time to time, saying her support. However, when she's not doing what she supposed to do, Nico's only response is silence.
It's not because of disappointment either, it's more like indifference. And Maki hates that. She prefers Nico scolds her over this treatment. But it's not her choice to make. And because she knows the reason behind Nico's action, she can't blame anyone except herself.
Maki heaves a breath. She's raising her hand, intent to open the gate when a voice calls her.
"Maki-chan."
She pauses. Looking to the side, she can make Nico's figure from a far. The smaller girl's moving toward her in calm manner.
"As expected you're still here," she comments. Pocketing her hand inside her coat, she nods her head toward the house. "When are you going in?"
"I was about to," says Maki, feeling defensive.
"Hmm…," Nico hums lightly, pulling her scarf to cover her neck better. "Are you sure about this?"
Maki clenches her fist. "Why are you always asking me that?"
Nico looks her in the eyes before setting her gaze aside. "I just don't want you to regret anything."
"I won't," Maki frowns. "I don't want to become a doctor."
"And what'd you want now?"
Maki opens her mouth, ready to answer. But no sounds come. What. What. What's what what.
"You're just confused," the older girl sighs after hearing no answer. "Maybe you should follow your father's order."
The red head flinches. "What? Are you seriously giving me that advice? After you said that I shouldn't follow my parents order to become a doctor few years ago."
Nico bits her lip, shaking her head. "I didn't mean to say it like that. If you wanted to become a doctor, it's fine. But if you have another dream to pursue, then do it." She runs her hand through her raven hair. "Though I'm not sure you've really known what your dream right now."
"Don't decide that for me!" she snaps. Why is Nico-chan always, always, like this?! Always talking like she understands better. Who did she think she is?!
Nico seems taken a back. She licks her lip, and then bowing her head. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten me," she buries her hands deeper to her pocket. "Even though I've had swore to not getting involved," she murmurs.
It's never meant for Maki to hear. But she heard them as she then realizes something. With a quick motion, the red head grabs Nico's wrist before the older girl could move away. "Maki-chan?"
"I'm sorry too, Nico-chan. I'm too hasty," she says awkwardly. "It's not that I don't know what I wanted to do. I just… haven't got any courage to say my dream out loud. I think… in the back of my mind… I always thought I could fall back to my original plan if I'd never said anything. You know… the future my parents planned out for me feels really stable. While what I'd be doing is not. It scares me."
Nico blinks.
"I don't even have any plans yet," she continues. "I… I… wanted to be a musician. I want to write songs! I want to play piano without worrying about my studies and other things! It just…"
Maki can feel Nico takes her hand. The older girl looks at her seriously. "I'm going to ask this again, Maki-chan. Are you sure you didn't want to be a doctor?"
"I'm sure."
Nico moves closer to the red head. "Do you really want to become a musician? Whatever it takes?"
Maki mulls the question through her brain, contemplating. "Whatever it takes feels too heavy, Nico-chan."
"Then—"
She continues before Nico could cut her off. "After all, I don't want to lose you, my family, and my friends for the change of me being a musician." She squeezes the hand she's holding. "You all are as important to me as my dream."
Nico gapes at her junior for a while, before laughing softly. "Ah. That's so greedy of you, Maki-chan."
"I'm not wrong," Maki says rather defensive.
"I never say you are," Nico replies. "It's an excellent answer." She smiles. "Good luck then, Maki-chan."
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Nico sighs as she's looking Maki walks through the gate. Feeling her junior's determination, she raises her scarf up to her nose, and praying. For Maki's dream to shines bright into future. Not like her. Not like her dream that she has given up for good.
She grits her teeth. Moving her foots away from the spot she was standing. She's not sure she could be there for a second longer without cursing her junior. Idealistic people is so annoying, it's making her envious.
But this is Maki. And she can't exactly want misfortune to fall to the other girl. Because Maki's eyes when she was saying all of that is too similar with her eyes in the past. She purses her lips, and trudges, kicking some snow just for the sake of kicking them.
A/N: tbh, i've forgotten the detail of the story i've written on the previous chaps. and i'm too lazy to read them again. since i know i won't write anything if i do that. and i really wanted to write something for celebrating Nico's birthday.
so, yeah... Happy Birthday, Nico-chan! Wish you won't grow any centimeters, and your body will still as small as ever! #runningaway