You Can Live: Chapter 32
Alright, I need to address a review I received this week. TO be perfectly honest, I found it quite ridiculous. If you have not noticed at this point, yes this story is a SEQUEL. The first story is on my profile called You Can Cry. I stated that this story is a sequel in both the STORY SUMMARY and the warnings in the first chapter. Please read these things before commenting.
Also, the next two weeks is all finals for me. I apologize, but do not expect an update in the next few weeks. After that it is Christmas break! I hope to get a bit of writing done then. :)
For now, please enjoy this update. :)
Disclaimer: you know I don't own HP. A very rich, brilliant lady does.
Warnings: Hope this isn't confusing. I wanted to start introducing some more mental/emotional manipulation. Hopefully as you stick with me, things will connect.
Truth or Truth?
Harry shook on the tiled floor, trying to catch his breath after the last bout of retching. He lost everything he had eaten that day, and his stomach muscles were quivering. However, he knew he couldn't be found by Severus or Snippy, so he willed his stomach to settle enough for him to make it back to his room. Just thinking about what was in his nightstand drawer made his stomach roll, and the young man bit back a groan.
A thought filtered through his head, about how nice it would be if Severus were there and rubbing his back or wiping a cool cloth across the back of his neck, but Harry shook it away. Such fancies couldn't be given a moment's consideration; it would just make things hurt more. Harry had grown much closer to Severus, and he definitely considered the man a father figure, but…there were times when the son protected the father, right? This would be one of those times.
A noise from downstairs spurred him into action. He banished the evidence of his sick and used the edge of the toilet and the counter to pull himself off of the floor. His head spun, but after a few deep breaths, Harry was able to stumble out of the bathroom and into his room. He leaned back against his door and got his breathing under control. Spying his desk, he figured he should probably write something to his friends. He couldn't bring himself to fully lie to his guardian. It was late, but he knew his letters would still be received. As Harry sat, he felt his bones sink into the chair and let out a heavy sigh. It didn't surprise him when he had no trouble at all making a cheerful sounding letter for his friends. After all, he had had years of practice.
He was startled when Albus suddenly landed on the back of his chair and hooted directly into his ear.
"Whoa! What is it, Albus?" He lifted a hand to pet the bird, but instead of letting his master stroke his feathers, the large owl nipped at Harry's fingers and flew over to the clock in the room.
"Ow! What-" As Harry sucked the cut on his finger, he looked at the time. He had been sitting at his desk all through the night! He had lost hours of his day, and he honestly did not know how. The only times things like that had happened was when he had had a Dark Lord inside of his head, or when he was sleep deprived at the Dursleys' over the summer.
Another concerning aspect fell over Harry. It was past breakfast, but then…why hadn't Severus come to fetch him, or Snippy? A weight settled in Harry's gut. Snape knew he had lied to him, and was punishing him. That was the only explanation he could think of, and it, surprisingly, brought tears to his eyes. It made sense in his mind, but his heart was feeling a bit battered. Severus had told him he would never take away food as a punishment, so Harry must have screwed up royally for his guardian to break his own promise.
Instead of going downstairs to talk to his guardian, Harry decided it was probably best for him to stay in his room until he was called for.
Through his turmoil, Harry didn't see that Albus was trying to point something else out to him. There was a dark energy emitting from the corner of Harry's room, and Albus could sense it. He knew that whatever it was was bad and was trying to hurt his wizard. However, his owner just couldn't see past his emotions. So, Albus came to the conclusion that it would be up to him to protect Harry Potter from this evil force. He settled onto his perch and watched as his master continued to sit at his desk.
Severus Snape was reverting back to his bitter self, and he could feel it. It was like the very state of his being revolved around Harry Potter. The boy, (yes, still a boy, Severus) had changed his heart, and made him care. Now, one misdeed and Severus had felt a great sense of betrayal. The rational side of his mind, that sounded quite a bit like Lily and Dumbledor, urged him to understand. He knew Harry's character more than most. He knew the boy was headstrong and self-sacrificing and kind, however his own feelings overshadowed his rationality.
Perhaps this is how a father feels when his child knowingly disobeys him, Severus thought. He was sitting in bed, a book open on his lap more for appearances than anything.
He had gone upstairs not long after reading the letter from Miss Lovegood. As he passed Harry's closed bedroom door, he had paused. His hand reached out to knock but, halfway there, he stopped. If Harry wanted to lie to him, then fine. Severus scowled and kept walking on to his own bedroom, deciding not to even bid Harry goodnight.
The anger had carried him to his room and through the process of preparing for bed, but now that he was sitting there, he could not help but wish he had. Severus snorted and finally turned out the light. The emotional push and pull of dealing with a child was exhausting, and soon he found himself asleep. However, he knew it would not be a restful one.
When he woke, he found himself still harboring some anger, but felt that he was willing to be more understanding. His sleep had not been very peaceful as he had expected, but he was not a stranger to restless nights. Severus got out of bed, and dressed before going downstairs. It was a bit early, but he was surprised to find Harry's bedroom door still closed. He raised a brow as he passed, but did not knock or enter.
Once downstairs, he settled into a chair and picked up one of the books Harry had left on the coffee table. He started reading it, but found his eyes kept drifting towards the clock. The closer it got to breakfast, the more he felt unsettled. He had caught Snippy poking her head into the room and checking on him more than once. Finally, he forced himself to actually read the book, and found himself surprised by Snippy's appearance.
"Master Snape, breakfast is ready….Shall Snippy get Master Harry?" Severus raised a brow.
"Mister Potter has not come out of his room?" He knew this of course, but he was still surprised that the boy had not even talked to the house elf. Snippy hesitatingly shook her head and the look of concern on the house elf's face made Snape's anger flare.
"Fine. If he doesn't want to come out of his room, then he can stay there." The potion's master swept from the room, which was not as effective without the black robes, but intimidating all the same. He sat at the dining table alone and ate his food with vigor. The voice in the back of his mind kept prodding him to check on Harry, but he forced it away and scowled at the empty plate across from him. The boy had been eating well lately, and could afford to miss a meal, Snape justified.
After he had finished, he went down to his lab to brew. He assumed Harry would come out when he was hungry, and if he did, then Snape would talk to him.
At lunch time, Snippy brought him a simple sandwich, but didn't look at him. Severus had been trying to hold on to his anger, but after a few hours of brewing, he felt himself sufficiently calmed. He had a couple of things to finish up, and then he would go upstairs. Surely, his ward had finally left his room.
The last few things took longer than he had expected and it was late afternoon, before he exited his lab. He raised a brow when he didn't find Harry in the living room or kitchen. He did, however, find Snippy cleaning everything with an unusual gusto. She only did it by hand when she was upset.
"Snippy, has Harry come down to get something to eat?" Snippy didn't even pause in her task.
"No, Master Snape. Master Harry has not left his room." Severus's eyebrows shot up.
"Not at all?" He saw the little house elf's lips pinch together and she wiped at the counter with extreme vigor.
"No. Master Snape. Snippy thinks Master Harry is upset. Snippy thinks Master Snape made Master Harry upset." Severus was taken aback at the house elf's accusation, but felt the truth behind it. He didn't want to believe it, but doubt and guilt had replaced the anger in his chest.
"I will go check on him. Please prepare something for him to eat." Snippy nodded at that and seemed a bit happier than before. Severus mounted the stairs and took a breath when he reached Harry's door. He thought about knocking, but he changed his mind and just opened the door instead.
The first thing he saw was Harry's owl perched at the window. The bird seemed to glare at the potion's master, and Snape felt duly chastised. He really didn't know what he had expected, but Harry curled up in a corner wasn't it.
"Harry?" he called softly. The boy lifted his head, and Severus's heart fell when he saw his ward's red rimmed eyes. Harry cleared his throat, and stood quickly. He tried to put himself together and straighten his clothes up a bit, which, Snape noted, were the same ones he had on the day before.
"Sir." Harry had his head bowed and hands clasped behind his back, like a soldier, but he couldn't seem to stop fidgeting. All together, the image broke through any lingering anger and Severus chastised himself internally.
"We need to talk, Harry." The boy nodded, but didn't move from his position. "Please look at me, Harry." Harry slowly lifted his head and looked at his guardian. Severus saw the sadness in those green eyes and lost his resolve. He swept forward and embraced Harry, obviously startling the young man. Slowly, Harry's arms came around and he was soon clinging to his guardian. Severus felt the boy shaking in his arms and tears were dampening his shirt.
He guided them over to Harry's bed and sat them down on the edge. Snape rubbed a hand up and down Harry's back and let the boy cry himself out. He pulled away when he heard Harry muttering something into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
"Harry, it's alright. I forgive you. I think there has been some sort of misunderstanding. Why..why did you not leave your room?" Harry wiped his eyes clear and looked at the floor.
"I..I fell asleep at my desk after writing my letters," this gave Severus pause and he felt a wave of guilt crash over him. "and it was…it was past breakfast when I woke up. I thought…I thought you were mad at me for last night and…I didn't know whether I was allowed to leave my room, so I just…stayed." Severus hugged Harry to his side and sighed.
"I am very sorry, Harry. I..believed you had lied to me last night, and I was angry. When you did not come down for breakfast, I assumed you were deliberately defying me, and did not call for you to come down. I just assumed you would leave your room when you got hungry." Harry looked at his guardian in confusion,
"But, Sir, I did lie to you." Harry couldn't keep it in any longer. He hadn't planned on explaining all of this to his guardian, but…well, he wasn't going to tell him everything. He just didn't have to lie to him. "I said I was going to write letters to my friends…but…that's not why I left." Severus was confused, but he refused to get mad again.
"Can you explain, Harry?" Harry bit the inside of his cheek and nodded.
"I…I wasn't feeling well, and I didn't want to worry you. So I said I was going to write letters to Ron and Hermione and left. I felt bad and wrote letters anyway." It was as close to the truth as he could get, yet Severus was not happy with this information, and Harry could tell. He could feel his anxiety creeping back in.
"You were sick and did not tell me?" Harry opened his mouth to apologize, but paused. That is what his guardian took from what he told him?
"Well, I-" Snape tucked Harry into his side.
"Harry, I am your guardian and…I care a lot about you. You should have just told me you were not feeling well. It would have saved us this entire mixup." Harry hesitated before burying his face in Severus's side.
"I'm sorry." Severus sighed.
"As am I, Harry." After a few moments, Harry's stomach broke the silence. Severus let the boy pull away but didn't comment on his blush.
"How could I forget? Mr. Potter, you are to accompany me downstairs and eat something. I did not get your appetite settled for it to be thrown away over a misunderstanding." They stood and together left Harry's room.
Albus had watched the entire interaction and was satisfied with the reunion. Before flying out of the room to follow them, he glared at the dark energy in the corner. It had not done anything in its time there, but Albus did not trust it one bit. He hooted at it angrily before flying after his master.
If he had stayed he would have seen the force shift into the form of a man and smile.
I wrote this all in one day, which is epic for how my writing has been going lately.
Please Review :)