You Can Live: Chapter 35
So...it's been...a while...I'm sorry, but not! I've spent this last month catching up on my writing! :) Which means some new chapters for you guys! Aren't we excited! I have missed you though, and I hope this chapter makes up for my absence. Unfortunately, this first new chapter is a little on the short side...
Please enjoy this update. :)
Disclaimer: you know I don't own HP. A very rich, brilliant lady does.
Warnings:No graphic cutting in this chapter, though it is mentioned.
How You Care
Harry had added four new cuts to his opposite arm before going to sleep, however he did it in the bathroom, after he was sure Severus was staying in his room. Albus was awake and watching him suspiciously. Harry knew his owl was intelligent, and the bird would probably make a big ruckus to bring his guardian into the room and stop him.
As he was in the bathroom, Harry looked at himself in the mirror. He looked…pale…tired…relieved but with a sadness and guilt banging behind closed doors. Harry looked away.
His habit was a lot more difficult to perform at his new home. At the Dursleys' he wasn't around anyone who cared about him. None of them would have noticed, and if they did, they probably just would have told him not to get blood on the floor. Instead, here, he had to make sure his guardian didn't catch him, and he couldn't do it in his room for fear of his own pet outing him. And Snippy, the house elf was probably half way to figuring it out already. When Harry went through the motions of cleaning and binding his new cuts, his hands shook a little bit and his stomach rolled. If Severus found out, surely he would get rid of him. Harry was obviously too much to handle, and he had already undone so much work his guardian had done for him. The young man ignored the tears that blinded him, and stumbled back into his room, slipped under the covers and turned out the light.
The next morning, Harry woke well rested. For the first time in a while, Harry had actually slept well, which was especially unusual considering what the day was set to bring. He could only conclude that the new cuts on his arm were responsible. The same thing would happen over the summer at the Dursleys'. Harry would have nightmare after nightmare, but if he gave himself a few more cuts before bed, then he would sleep peacefully.
He shook these thoughts off, and went to get dressed. Severus would be leaving soon, and Luna would be arriving-Luna. Harry froze and dropped the shirt he had just picked out of his closet. Luna was scarily perceptive; she would spot what he was hiding in a second. Suddenly overwhelmed, Harry looked into his open closet and crawled in. He shut the door and sat, hoping the darkness would help calm him.
Snape woke determined. He had not slept well last night, but he managed to essentially pass out around one thirty in the morning. He was to be at the court at ten a.m. sharp. Severus could only be grateful that the trial was being kept relatively confidential, which meant that there would be very few people actually in attendance. A smirk slowly grew on his face as the potions master dressed.
The Minister of Magic would be in attendance. Though he would not interfere with the trial, just by having him there in obvious support of the defendant would certainly shake his accuser's confidence. Severus finished getting dressed with a lightness in his step, feeling confident that the trial would not only end with him being shown a fit guardian for Harry, but also with justice for Harry against those that put him back in the Dursley household. Speaking of his ward…
The potions master felt the need to check on Harry. It was going to be a difficult day for both of them, and he was sure that Harry was feeling a high level of anxiety. He left his rooms, and knocked on Harry's closed bedroom door. His brows furrowed when he did not receive an answer, and he slowly opened the door.
"Harry?" The boy wasn't in the bed, and his owl was sitting on its perch. Albus was looking at the wardrobe as if beseeching it to open, and it was then that Severus saw the shirt laying on the ground in front of the doors. He breathed out through his nose slowly and went to knock on the closet doors.
"Harry, are you alright?" It was a ridiculous question for such an obvious answer, but Severus wanted to get an idea of where Harry's head was at. The older wizard braced himself for a blast of magic. None came however, and instead, Snape could hear his young ward breathing harshly in his dark surroundings. Taking a chance, Severus cautiously opened one of the doors a crack. It was just enough that he could make out the top of Harry's head and his knees.
Harry did not look up at him, so Severus opened the door wider and kneeled in front of the opening.
"Harry, please come out and talk to me. I wish to say goodbye before I leave for the trial." To his utmost surprise, the potion's master suddenly found himself with an armful of Harry Potter. The boy had cried out and flung himself at his guardian at the mention of his departing. The young wizard shuddered in his grasp for a few moments, before pulling his face away from where it had been buried in Severus's shoulder.
"S-sorry, Sir. I kind of…freaked out this morning. It all hit me, and I just-" The boy couldn't seemed to find the words, but Snape nodded.
"I understand that you are scared, Harry. But I am extremely confident that we will come out of this victorious and with even more support than before. No one is going to take you from me." Harry gave Snape a small smile, before they released each other and stood. Severus picked up the shirt Harry had dropped and held it out to his ward.
"Finish getting dressed and then meet me downstairs for breakfast. Luna will be here shortly." At the mention of his friend, Harry smiled but inside he trembled.
His only chance would be to try and convince Luna not to tell Severus. Of course, this would happen only if she said anything at all. Luna had a tendency to not tell you what she was thinking. Harry wasn't going to give it all away as soon as she walked in the door, because he was only assuming she would know immediately.
First things first was going downstairs and getting through breakfast. Harry changed shirts, grateful that he had started sleeping in a long sleeve shirt given what had happened that morning before he changed.
Harry took a deep breath, and then left the safety of his room to meet his guardian. Severus was waiting for him in the living room…with Luna. They both turned to him when he entered, and he couldn't help but smile upon seeing his friend. The blonde witch smiled softly in response.
"Hello, Harry. You don't have to smile for me, you know. It'll just confuse the Wrackspurts." Harry's smile broadened at that, and he stepped forward to give Luna a hug. One of her unique turnip earrings poked his neck, but he didn't mind.
"It's good to see you too, Luna." Snape cleared his throat.
"Well, we should all have breakfast now, so I can make sure you eat, before I leave." Harry almost felt the urge to roll his eyes, but instead found himself smiling fondly at his guardian. Soon they were gathered at the dining room table, and Snippy was delighted to make food for three.
The meal was delicious, as usual, however, Harry found he was having a hard time getting it down. The food felt tacky in his throat, and settled like lead in his stomach. Severus would encourage him every so often, but it didn't help. Luna, then, finished her plate, and started to pick off of Harry's. As he watched the food slowly disappear from his plate, Harry suddenly felt hunger rise in him. It was like his stomach was remembering those times at the Dursleys where he was starving, but there was barely enough for a mouse leftover for him to eat. Or when he was given something, on a plate even, and Dudley would start stealing his portion, before polishing off his own. Harry quickly began picking up his slack and finished what was left on his plate, without Luna taking another bite.
Severus watched the proceedings quietly. At first, he almost admonished the girl for taking his ward's food. He wanted Harry to eat it, not her. Though, he saw a glimmer of a plan in Luna's eyes, and allowed things to continue. Eventually, he gave the young witch a small smile for her smart thinking.
All finished, then, it came to be that time. Neither Harry nor Severus wanted him to leave, but the clock in the living room chimed, and they knew he could not wait any longer. Luna and Harry walked him to the fire place, and Snape turned to address them.
"Do not leave the property, and don't let anyone in the house." The last bit was pointed at Harry. Severus was even less reluctant to leave them alone when he now knew someone could get through the wards without them triggering. However, it had to be done, and he had renewed and strengthened them just last night.
"The trial should not last long, though they might drag it out once they finally realize that they are going to lose. I will see you by tonight at the latest. I promise." Severus and Harry embraced, each giving each other as much comfort as they could put into a squeeze, and then…Snape was gone into the flames.
Luna allowed Harry a few moments of quiet before taking his attention away from his thoughts.
"Could you show me your garden, Harry? It is a great day to look for fairies." Harry didn't even bothering questioning how Luna knew they had a garden. Instead, he took one deep breath and loosened up as much as he could. The young man turned towards his friend and gave her a small smile.
"Yeah. Sure, Luna." Before they went outside, Harry ran up to his room to open a window so Albus could join them and pocketed his wand. Finally, after telling Snippy where they were going, Harry led Luna out to the garden.
It really was a beautiful day outside, considering how bad the day's events seemed. Luna allowed him to give her the short tour and point out the different kinds of plants, though he was sure she knew more than he did about what was growing beneath their feet. After that, Luna gave him a tour of her own, showing him where the grass fairies lived.
Over the next hour or so, Harry found out that he had at least six different kinds of fairies living in his backyard, as well as some pixies. He didn't see any of them, but it was fun wandering about and exploring the outdoors with his friend.
Finally, they settled on the stone bench and just enjoyed the soft breeze.
"You know, Harry, Severus is going to be sad when you tell him." The green-eyed wizard furrowed his brows at the witch, but his heart picked up its pace, predicting what she was going to say next.
"What do you mean, Luna?" Luna gave him one of her soft smiles and cocked her head to the side.
"He really cares for you, like you do for him. But all of your caring is getting jumbled up in your head. You don't care for people who care about you by hurting yourself." Harry looked away and instinctively crossed his arms over his chest.
"You're going to tell him, aren't you?" Luna examined him for a few moments, before she too looked away.
"No. You should though. But when the time is right, and you'll know when it is, don't be surprised if Severus cries." Harry didn't know how to answer that. Deep down, he knew that hurting himself would hurt his guardian too, but he didn't want to think about that.
Harry was startled out of his thoughts, by his owl landing on his shoulder. The bird grabbed some of his wild hair in its beak and pulled.
"Ow, Albus. Why'd you do that?" Luna reached over and stroked the bird's feathers.
"He can see the Wrackspurts confusing you, making you think this is okay." Her other hand drifted up to settle over Harry's hidden bandages. "Silly bird. Harry has to get rid of them himself, though you are going to have to keep protecting him." The girl had always spoken a bit strangely, but Harry felt that this was getting a bit…out there for her.
"Luna? Have you been taking lessons from Professor Trelawney?" Luna didn't answer him, but instead stood and walked away towards the house. Harry and Albus looked at each other, then back at the witch.
"Well, Albus, I guess it's time to go inside." His owl hooted in his ear and then took flight. Harry stood and followed the two back inside the house, his mind abuzz.
And despite what Luna kept saying, Harry didn't think it was Wrackspurts.
Dark things ahead...dark things...Great. Now I sound like Trelawney. -_-
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