Thanks, Cardin!

A/N:Needed a slight break from keeping my eye on continuity, so you guys get a oneshot that may or may not turn ino an actual story. This falls into the 'College AU' category, but I'd say this probably won't be the only College AU chapter, and I might even write for different college AUs from time to time. All depends on the requests I get, or the ideas that pop into my head. On an unrelated note, I somehow managed to piss myself off by reading Cardin's dialogue as I wrote it.

And hey, check the poll on my pro, if you could. Helps me decide what to write next.

It was a beautiful September day at Vale U, the birds were singing, the ultimate frisbeers were... frisbree-ing, and Cardin was trying and failing to get into a girl's pants. According to almost everyone walking around campus that day, everything was right in the world.

According to one Weiss Schnee, however, the day was already ruined. This was in no small part due to being the aforementioned girl having to put up with Cardin.

Granted, Cardin was not an especially unattractive boy, with pleasing muscles and a handsome face. In fact, most people would argue that it was specifically because of his attractive features that his unattractive feature stood out so much.

In the words of many, many sorority sisters and even a few professors, Cardin Winchester turned from a fine piece of eye candy into pure disappointment as soon as he opened his mouth.

"So, sexy," Cardin said, leaning far too close to Weiss for his own good. "Why don't we go somewhere more... secluded?"

Weiss sighed, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Because I have no interest in you."

"For someone with no interest, you were staring for a while." He put on a cocky smirk.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Yes, I was checking you out. You're certainly attractive."

"Well then, why-"

"But you act like such a douchebag, so I think I'll pass." Weiss made no effort to hide the self satisfied smirk that spread across her face at seeing the larger boy's shock. Speaking of shock...

"By the way..." The smirk widened at the glare he sent her. "I have a taser, so take a couple steps back, alright?"

He took one step back, and turned on what little charm he possessed.

It, uh... it wasn't much. To use a saying popularized on campus due to the large tabletop club, Cardin had 'rolled a natural one.'

"Well, uh... why don't we go out anyway? It's not like you have anyone else willing to... I mean, I've never seen you with a boyfriend or anything!"

Weiss felt like she'd been slapped. Not only did Cardin have the gall to imply she was desperate, he was even saying no one wanted her to begin with!

Now, it's necessary to include here that Weiss was normally a very calm and rational person, and she was almost never the type to make rash decisions. However, Cardin had struck a nerve. He was in fact, completely correct in saying that he hadn't seen Weiss with a boyfriend. In fact, no one at Vale U had seen Weiss with a boyfriend. She had been single since coming to the university that August, right off the heels of a bad breakup with her high-school sweetheart.

It's also important to note that Cardin had no way of knowing this, though he was being a douche.

And, though we have nowhere near enough time to document the vast amount of things Cardin doesn't know, there is one that will go a short way to explaining Weiss' actions. If not for the breakup, that day, September 9th, would have been Weiss and Neptune's third anniversary.

"I- Well- You-." Weiss took a moment to control her breathing. "You're right, you haven't seen me with a boyfriend. But why would that mean I was single? In fact, uh.." She took a few quick looks in several directions, trying to find a suitable person, finally settling on a particularly attractive blonde who was staring at her phone. "Ah! There's my girlfriend now!" She dashed toward the girl, and heard Cardin start walking after her. Clearly, he was the determined type. As her father would say, this called for generous application of bribery.

Yang was confused, to say the least. On her way to the gym, she'd taken a few wrong turns, and ended up outside the Art Building. Seeing as she didn't have any classes near here, she was forced to text Blake for directions. Unfortunately, Blake seemed to have turned her phone off, so she was truly lost. The traitorus thoughts that kept slipping in about why Blake would turn off her phone when she was going to meet with Yang's sweet, innocent baby sister certainly didn't help her mood any.

So, when Yang found herself being hugged by what could only be described as a white torpedo she decided to just roll with the day apparently deciding to throw her a bone.

The girl hissed a quick whisper into her ear ("I'msorrypleaseplayalongI'llgiveyou$500andIllexplainlater), and broke the embrace, turning toward...

"Oh, hi, Cardin." Yang smirked at the boy, as he started going pale. "Remember me?"

"Hello, Yang." He replied evenly. "Nice weather today, right?"

Weiss could hardly believe her eyes. The boy was clearly horrified by Yang's presence. "Hey, uh... babe? How do you two know each other?"

Yang smiled. "Well, babe," She replied, smiling at the girl who would be buying her a very nice jacket. "Cardy here decided it'd be a good idea to come on to my sister." She turned to Cardin, who seemed to have literally no blood in his face at this point. "And now it looks like he decided to flirt with my girlfriend too."

Cardin took three very quick steps backwards. "Uh, I'm sorry, Yang. And, uh... you too, uhm..." He seemed to realize it woul be a good time to leave then, and started walking off.

Yang couldn't resist calling out after him. "And you didn't even know her name?" She turned to the small girl, who sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness. Oh, right, I haven't introduced myself." She held a hand out. "I'm Weiss Schnee, pleased to meet you."

Yang raised her eyebrow at the outstretched hand. "Not gonna lie, I preferred the hug." The other girl didn't even smile, though she did take her hand down. "oof, tough crowd." She smiled brightly. "I'm Yang Xiao-Long. Nice to meet ya!"

"Er... right. Anyway, I feel bad for dragging you into this, and I'm kind of hungry anyway, so do you want to go get lunch?"

"Your treat?"

Weiss narrowed her eyes, but couldn't keep a straight face. The girl's happy-go-lucky attitude was infectious. "I'm already giving you five hundred."

"Exactly! So, what's a few dollars for a burger to someone who has that kind of money to throw around, right?"

Weiss shrugged. "You do have a point, but if I'm paying we're going somewhere with good coffee."

Yang laughed. "Fine by me, 'babe'. So, is this our first date, or..."

Weiss rolled her eyes, and started walking towards her favorite cafe. "Whatever you say, Yang."

"You know, sometimes I feel like you're just with me for my body."

Weiss nearly tripped, causing Yang to laugh. "I- you!" She took a moment to steady her breathing, and prepare a comeback. "Of course I am. You're the perfect trophy wife."

Yang raised an eyebrow. "I'm more of a black widow, actually. I'll spend a few years with you until I'm in the will, then BANG!" She scooped Weiss up and twirled her around once. To Weiss' credit, she only squealed once and didn't smack Yang at all. "You're in the ground and I'm relaxing on Patch"

Weiss chuckled. "I want a pre-nup."

Yang laughed. "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Weiss."

Weiss sighed. "But I really wanted a trophy wife."

"I'll be your wingman, then."

Weiss laughed again, and before long, the two were chatting like old friends over two cups of Weiss' favorite coffee, and a stacked plate of more pastries than either could name. Yang never did get that burger she wanted, though.