You Can Live: Chapter 43
So great reading your reviews. :) Luv to hear that I can still make you guys cry. ;)
In case you missed it, last chapter involved heavily implied sexual abuse. There won't be any of that in this chapter, but just remember what has happened as you move forward.
I do not have a beta. Any and all mistakes are my own!
Disclaimer: you know I don't own HP. A very rich, brilliant lady does.
Warnings: Much angst in this chapter!
Quiet
Severus's mind (and his heart, though he would not admit it) was racing. He had never seen such an abject expression of terror in Harry's eyes. The boy had been scared to go to sleep and was trying to tell him something. Snape knew that whatever it was, he had to protect his ward. Yet, Harry had made it sound like…like someone was going to break into his mind or dreams. It could be that Harry was having horrible nightmares, but a small sliver of doubt was pressing the back of his mind. Unwanted, his thoughts turned to what the Dark Lord had done to Harry fifth year. Surely…that couldn't be happening again, could it? But who could be capable of doing such a thing and why?
His eyes traveled down to his ward, fast asleep and limp against him. The young man had been through so much, and now something else was trying to torment him?
Severus sighed. He wouldn't get anything more out of Harry until he woke up. The position of the boy's neck hardly looked comfortable, and Snape's arm was growing numb. The Potion's Master gently extricated his arm and slipped off the couch, a hand keeping Harry stable. Then, he reached forward and lifted Harry into his arms. No doubt the boy would be embarrassed if he knew, but the act kindled a warm spot in Severus's chest.
He carried Harry up to his bedroom and laid him out on his bed. A little more maneuvering and Severus managed to get his ward under the covers. His hand acted of its own accord then and brushed Harry's hair from his forehead.
The fear in Harry's voice right before he fell asleep came back to him, and it suddenly did not feel right to leave the boy alone. So, he pulled Harry's desk chair next to the bed, transfigured it into something a bit more comfortable and settled in.
He leaned back in the chair and watched Harry sleep, until his own eyes closed, and Severus was as dead to the world as his ward.
The sun had been up for an hour when Snippy decided to check on her masters. A message had come through the floo, that Draco, Hermione and Ron would be coming through in an hour, and Snippy wanted to warn Master Snape. She had kept an eye on them since Snape had informed her what Harry had been doing to himself. She had also heard what Harry had said to Severus, about being scared to sleep. It scared her too and made her want to cry for her Master Harry.
Snippy quietly pushed open the door to Harry's bedroom and smiled. Severus was asleep next to Harry's bed as the boy lay there peacefully. Yet, one thing belayed a more ominous tone to the scene in front of her. Albus was perched at the foot of Harry's bed and was staring at the boy. The bird seemed agitated, but Snippy could not figure out why. She crept over to her Potion's Master and called his name.
"Master Snape, it is times for breakfast, Sir. Snippy has lots to eat ready for Master Snape and Master Harry." The man stirred and blinked at the house-elf looking up at him. Severus nodded without answering and scrubbed his face with both hands.
"Master Snape!" Severus's heart jolted at Snippy's sudden shout. Dropping his hands, he knew immediately why she had cried out.
Harry, who had previously been sleeping rather peacefully, was breathing rapidly and shaking. Sweat was making his hair plaster to his forehead, and his face was pinched together.
"Noo-ooo." If he thought Snippy's shout had scared him, the boy's broken cry nearly stopped Snape's heart. Tears were escaping out of the corners of Harry's eyes, even though they were squeezed shut. Severus laid a hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Harry. Harry, wake up. It is just a dream." Harry trembled and then began thrashing under the covers. His feet kicked, and his hips twisted, but his shoulders remained firmly against the bed.
"No! Nooo!" Severus was having no luck waking the boy and that terrified him. Harry continued to cry for another minute, when he suddenly stopped everything. Tears still slipped from his eyes, but he wasn't fighting or screaming or thrashing about. Severus stared at his ward, and then gently called to him.
"Harry?" Harry didn't acknowledge him. His body was trembling and his breathing ragged.
"Please." Something in that one word made Severus want to burn the world. Severus had to end this one way or another. Harry started fighting again, and Snape pulled out his wand.
"Master Snape!" Snippy looked horrified, as her master pointed his wand at the boy.
"Enervate." The spell worked, and suddenly Harry was wide awake. The boy appeared completely frozen as he stared up at the blank ceiling. His breathing had all but stopped, and Severus feared he had harmed the boy in his desperation.
Snape slowly extended a hand.
"Harry?" The young man jumped upon hearing his name and rather than reaching for his wand as Severus expected, Harry practically flew away from him. Harry fell off of the edge of the bed in his desperation to get away. The tears never stopped streaming down the boy's face as he continued to push away. The young man backed himself into a corner and drew his knees up, burying his face in them.
Snape watched in horror as the silent tears turned to broken sobs. When Harry started clawing at his wrists, Severus rushed forward. He crouched in front of the boy, and took hold of his wrists.
"Snippy, get me a wet towel. Cool water." The crack of the house elf didn't even register in his mind. His full focus was on his ward.
"Harry. Harry, calm down. Talk to me. What is wrong? What did you see?" He hated to think it, but if it was a…a vision, he had to know.
Snippy popped back in and handed him the wet towel. Severus pressed it to the back of Harry's neck, keeping the boy's wrists trapped in his free hand. Harry pulled weakly at his wrists, but did not protest the wet cloth.
Harry's skin felt like it was on fire with the truth. He wanted to both tear it off and curl into it and never come out. His guardian's hands were strong on his wrists, but Harry could not compare them to Menos'. No matter how much Harry wanted to push the man away right then, he knew Severus would never hurt him like Menos did. Snape had never hurt him, bullying in his Hogwart's years notwithstanding.
The man was a hero and had a good heart despite his attempts to hide it and….Harry didn't deserve that. He was just a disgusting, broken boy who only achieved his triumphs with tremendous support from people like Severus. Severus wouldn't want him anymore if he knew. Heck, Harry wouldn't want himself! Who would want a sniveling, little…FREAK that let a man like Menos do what he did?
"Harry, please talk to me. I want to help." Maybe it was the tone Snape used, but it brought a memory to the surface. Severus had suggested something like this before. He had asked Harry if his uncle had….had touched him. Harry's next sob was more of a shattered bark of laughter as he recalled how vehemently he denied the very idea that someone had done something like that to him.
"Y-you were…right." Severus's fingers, which had been lightly massaging the back of Harry's neck, stilled.
"Right about what, Harry?" But Harry couldn't say it. He just bit his tongue and curled up even more. Severus had seen some unnerving things throughout his lifetime. However, seeing Harry like that made his stomach churn. Maybe it was the set of resignation in the boy's shoulders even as he curled into the smallest ball he could, seeing his brilliant, strong ward completely torn down.
Suddenly, Albus went berserk, viciously hooting and flapping his wings. Severus turned to see the bird five feet from them and attacking….nothing. There was nothing he could see setting off the owl, however he could almost feel a presence. One hand pulled away from Harry and slid his wand out of his sleeve. He sensed Harry tensing behind him, and then the boy started whimpering.
"No! No, not again. Go away!" Harry buried his fingers in his hair and trembled. The bird was still making a fuss, and Severus was growing more and more worried.
"Master Severus, Snippy cannot see what is hurting Master Harry." Snape looked at the house-elf and saw her shining eyes bouncing back and forth between his ward and the bird.
"Neither can I…but I think the bird can." Severus cast a silent Revelo charm and his heart stuttered. He could just make out the misty outline of a man in the center of the room. Albus was still viciously attacking it, but the bird's attempts seemed to pass right through the figure.
"Who are you!?" The dark figure lacked any facial features, but if Severus had to guess, he would say the thing was smirking at him. Without warning, it charged him and Snape barely had time to brace himself before the impact.
It didn't feel…physical per say, like an actual person running into him. It was more of a rush, as if Severus had flown on his broom full speed through a storm cloud. The problem was, because it passed right through him, the thing went straight through Harry as well.
His ward screamed and curled up tighter, if that was even possible. Severus spun around as fast as he could, and fell to his knees in front of Harry. His first instinct to reach out and touch the boy was obviously the wrong one.
Harry screamed louder, and his magic exploded. This time, Severus was thrown back. Snippy tumbled backwards, and Albus beat his wings harder to stabilize himself. When Snape managed to right himself, his ward was slumped unconscious on the floor, looking pale as death.
"Severus?! Harry?!" The Potion's Master barely registered the frantic voices that were now attached to pounding feet running up the stairs. He only had eyes for the boy…his boy. When the door to the bedroom burst open to reveal Ron, Draco and Hermione, Severus had Harry wrapped in his arms.
"Severus," Draco's voice was cautious, as if he were talking to a startled deer. "What happened?" Snape blow a short breath into Harry's hair and held him tighter.
"I honestly do not know."
To say the three young people felt uneasy when they woke the next morning would have been a gross understatement. They were barely able to sit still at the breakfast table and would send glances to the fireplace every few seconds. Hermione had fire-called a while ago to let Severus know that they would be coming through in about an hour. However, they didn't last that lone. After only twenty five minutes, they all looked at each other, and simultaneously lunged for the fireplace. After a bit of jostling, Hermione ended up through first, followed by Draco and then a grumbling Ron.
When they stepped through, they knew immediately that they were right to come. A terrible scream sounded from the upper level, and the house shook with the force of extreme magical energy being released. They all bolted for the stairs.
"Severus?! Harry?!" Draco was the first to the top and he barreled down the hall and through the door, the other two not a moment behind. He froze, and Hermione and Ron almost bowled him over at his sudden stop.
"Severus," he said softly. "What happened?" His godfather was cradling Draco's unconscious friend in his lap and wasn't even looking at them. Eventually the man rasped,
"I honestly do not know." Ron opened his mouth, no doubt to shout 'What do you mean you don't know?!', but Hermione cut him a look that made him stay wisely silent. Draco took a deep breath to calm his growing anxiety, and straightened up.
"Alright, well get him on the bed, so I can look at him." Severus jerked a nod and slowly stood, keeping Harry in his arms. His godson was a little surprised that he simply did not use magic to levitate Harry on to the bed, but didn't comment.
As soon as the young man was laid out, everyone circled the bed. Hermione made the first noise. Her gasp caught as her throat closed up with tears. Ron put his arms around her without taking his eyes from Harry. The blood drained from his face, as he took in his friend's arms. Draco couldn't get any paler than he already was, but his clenched his fists and shook with anger. Severus knew what they were seeing and though he understood their reactions, Snape waved a silent conceal charm over Harry's arms.
"Why'd you do that?! Did you know about this?" Severus glared at the red-head but his whole heart wasn't in it.
"I knew he had done it before. I had only just found out yesterday that he had started hurting himself again. He didn't want you to find out like this." The last sentence was spoken softly and Severus laid a hand on Harry's hair.
While the three young wizards were angry at Harry for not telling them, they were also angry at themselves for not noticing. They were his friends. Shouldn't they be able to tell if he was hurting? Thinking back to how they had never noticed the abuse he was hiding, well, it made more sense. Harry preferred to suffer in silence, than to make himself a 'burden' on anyone. So now they stood in silence, as their friend suffered once more.
Well? You like? More angst next chapter! Pinky promise. :)
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