N.O4 Privet Drive
Dumbledore can not serious? What was he thinking placing Harry with these muggles? Remus had spent the past week wondering and waiting... Conveniently, it had taken Dumbledore longer than Remus hoped to set up his "precautions"- but it was worth it. It was worth finally seeing Harry again,
Even if it was Goodbye...
Remus had the pleasure of meeting Vernon and Petunia Dursley at one of Lily's family gatherings and that in itself proved to be a fiasco. Long story short: it ended in Remus and James holding Sirius back as he tried to take a swing at Vernon for insulting his lover's robes and scars.
At the time, the lycanthrope was shocked albeit grateful towards Sirius as these muggles were truly outrageous and were the complete epitome of rudeness, despite their pristine appearance and demeanour. Now, however, Remus couldn't help but wonder how he had never suspected Sirius before now. He had always been violent -but everyone just put that down to the way he was brought up.
But one could hardly forget the Snape incident...
Maybe the reason for his obliviousness was because Remus loved Sirius? And as much as the werewolf hates himself for it, he can not deny that, even after all of this, he still loves Sirius.
The Sirius he fell in love with was not a bad person. The Sirius he fell love with was loyal and caring (although he had a strange way of showing it). The Sirius he fell in love with would do anything for the people he cared about. That was the Sirius who said he loved Remus and that he would never stop.
'It's you and me against the world, Moony.'
He blinked back the tears that were sure to fall as Dumbledore knocked on the Dursley's door. If he was aware of Remus's lack of control, he did not show it. They heard a loud grumbling noise before the door opened to reveal a massive, purple faced man who appeared to have hardly any neck. His beady eyes looked weary and suspicious, like a bull dog protecting its territory.
'Oh, Its you.' He screwed his nose up at Remus' dishevelled clothes. 'Who's this tramp you've brought? I am not opening my house up to anymore of your lot and I can assure you I will not let anymore of these freaks-' He stopped mid-sentence and stared into the werewolf's eyes, shadowed by massive purple bags. Vernon took in the prominent scars around the other man's face; you could literally hear his brain click with familiarity as a vain above his left temple twitched dangerously.
'YOU!' Remus raised a sardonic eyebrow, impatiently as if in the presence of a slow-witted child.
'Yes, I am indeed me.' The vain snapped.
'YOU!' He repeated, 'What the hell are you doing here?!' He roared, shooting spittle at the werewolf. 'I swear, you better not have brought that bloody bastard with you!' He looked nervously around Remus's shoulder for a presence that clearly wasn't there. Dumbledore calmly broke the tense silence, after observing the lycanthrope's clenched fists.
'I assure you, Mr Dursley, that if you are referring to Sirius Black, he is most certainly not here of all places.' Vernon stared from Dumbledore to Remus, and to the latter's clenched fists and sneered.
'Finally had it with him, have you?' his gaze bore into Remus's now feral eyes, unflinching and found the suppressed emotions which lay beneath. 'Finally seeing your bitch, Black, for the worthless bastard he is? Mind, you aren't any better.' The last part came out as a hiss as he lowered his voice and stepped towards Remus who was now shaking with rage. 'Or...' he paused, snorting, 'Has he met the same sticky end as my nephew's parents?' He pronounced "Nephew" with particular spite. Remus did not know what froze him in his place. He did not know what stopped him punching the awful man's lights out right then but he was lucky-for Vernon's sake more than his- that he did. Dumbledore's smile vanished and his tone was surprisingly cold,
'Remus is here to see Harry, if you would kindly grant us entry to your house.' He held up a hand as Dursley opened his mouth to interrupt. 'Of course we could continue this little chat here; I imagine the neighbours will be very interested to hear what we have to say as well.' Vernon had the impression of a gormless goldfish before nodding vigorously and stepping aside for the two men to enter.
This house, Remus thought, was not a normal house. It was not natural for a house to be this spruce or pure. There was not a trace of dirt or dust anywhere. The walls of the hallway were filled with photo's of the three Dursley's alone. There was no proof what so ever that there was a fourth person living in this house. Remus turned having visually inspected the house for any sign of Harry and stared accusingly at Vernon.
'Where is Harry?'
Upon hearing the werewolf's voice, a shrill cry emitted from the cupboard underneigh the stairs to Remus's left. Surely not? That cry, in which he knew only too well of, having spent hours babysitting with Sir-
Instinctively, Remus opened the cupboard door to find, staring back at him, the emerald eyes of Harry James Potter. Instantly, the infant's cries stopped at the sight of his familiar friend and were replaced with childish giggles.
'MOONY!' he cries cheerfully, clapping his hands merrily, reaching his chubby fingers towards the said Moony.
Remus smiled his first proper smile to what seemed like forever. The small gesture was so foreign, it put strain on his young, albeit marked face. He scooped Harry up and gave him an Eskimo kiss.
'Hello young Prongslet.' He chuckled to which Harry giggled even more.
'Mooony Moo'y!' Harry stopped abruptly and looked around Remus' shoulder. 'Moony. Pa'foot?' A huge lump formed in the lycanthrope's throat as he then held Harry in a comforting embrace.
'Padfoot's not here, love.' He replied, running his hands through Harry's unruly ebony hair. Harry, clearly unsatisfied with the answer, asked,
'Mummy Daddy?' Both Remus and Harry's eyes were watering now. Harry's lip trembled.
'No, they're not here either, darling. I'm sorry.' Harry somehow understood his words as he started whining softly into Remus' neck. He rocked them both from left to right. 'I'm sorry, Harry. I am so so sorry.' Remus never wanted to let him go. Harry: so small; so innocent and so -like himself- alone. And for that moment, all that mattered in the world was the two of them as they shared their pain, loss and anguish.
They were both alone in his cruel world.
Harry wasn't meant to be alone, Remus said to himself. He had had a perfect family, who loved him to pieces, but now it was taken from him. Now he had the Dursley's, who couldn't care less. It was infuriating. Screw Dumbledore. This is not right.
'Why is he in a cupboard?' He spoke quietly as not to startle Harry, but his tone was dark enough to make Vernon and Petunia -who had appeared at a bottom of the stairs at some point during Remus and Harry's reunion- flinch. He rubbed Harry's back soothingly, waiting for their answer.
'What is it to you?' Petunia spat, looking like she had recently swallowed a lemon. Remus' glare was enough to shrivel a devil's Snare. She tried to recover yourself by spluttering an excuse, 'It... it was the only space in the house we could find at short notice.' Remus rose a sardonic eyebrow, clearly not amused with the answer.
'Really, is that so? Professor Dumbledore and I were under the impression that this house had three bedrooms that were capable of inhabiting a one year old infant more appropriately than that of a cupboard.' He nodded at Dumbledore for confirmation and continued,
'Even then, if this statement somehow proves false, I have yet to wonder why this stops Harry from sharing a room with either yourselves or your son,' he paused for breath. 'unless either of you have any contagious diseases that are not wanted to be passed on to Harry, in which case this situation would seem more plausible.'
Despite the calmness in his voice as he spoke, his words emitted fear in the two Dursley's, who hastily looked at each other, urging the other to respond. Finally, Vernon inhaled sharply and rose to his full height, which proved useless as he only made it to Remus' chin, and looked challengingly at the lycanthrope.
'How dare you, Sir! How dare you walk into my house barking accusations! Who the hell do you think you are?!' He boomed, causing Harry to start crying again. Remus took a step closer, towering over Vernon. He was sick of these Muggles.
'I am Remus John Lupin, and I have been there for Harry since the day he was born. I know what is best for this child and your presence is clearly not that. I came here today in the hope that I could say farewell to the closest thing I have to a family, and make sure he is being taken care of properly. Clearly,' He turned his gaze the Dumbledore, 'Leaving him in the hands of people like yourselves might have been a mistake.'
Dumbledore, who previously looked entranced in the convocation as though it were a muggle soap opera, stepped in before the Dursley's could protest further.
'Mr and Mrs Dursley, it appears that the letter I had placed with Harry when I left him in your care has either gone unrecognised or has been partly ignored. If you could please point me to the kitchen or dining room in which I can explain your situation properly, without any exceptions or excuses.'
He smiled pleasantly as Petunia hurriedly rushed past the wizard and into the dining room. Vernon squinted at Remus one last time, who returned the glare, and walked off after his wife. Dumbledore turned to follow the couple before quickly adding to the werewolf, 'Remus, I trust that I needn't remind you that Harry is not to leave this house. I trust your rationality, of course, but all the same.' and he was gone, leaving Remus and Harry alone.
'Of course he trusts me, it's not like it's an occupational hazard of turning into a monster once a month that people don't trust you.' His expression softened in sadness as he momentarily thought of Sirius and his accusations against him. Remus then brought his attention to the infant currently nuzzling his neck, relaxingly. 'Come on, love. Let's go sit in the living room, I'm afraid your Moony's getting old.' Harry's head shot up and stared at Remus bobbing up and down in his arms.
'Moony. Moony. Moony!' He squealed joyously.
Remus carried the hyper ball of black hair into the living room and sat down on the chair closest to the fire, bouncing Harry up on down on his lap.
'I'm sorry, Prongslet. I don't want to leave you with these people, but I'm afraid I don't have much say in the matter; I hope one day you and your parents can forgive me for that. We know Dumbledore means well and even though he can be really annoying sometimes, and we know he's rarely wrong about things like this, and if you are indeed safer with these...people... then I won't stand in his way.' He smiled at Harry sucking his thumb. 'Anyway, lets face it, living with ol' Moony would be quite the bore.' He chuckled as Harry then proceeded to look at Remus as though he just said that the moon was actually made out of cheese.
'Mooony?' Harry babbled questionably. Remus simply patted him on the head, before taking out his wand and transfiguring a nearby cushion into a toy wolf with light brown fur flaked with silver.
'For you, Harry. This way I can always be with you if you need me,' then he added in a whisper, 'unless your spoilt excuse of a cousin gets his sticky hands on him.' He winked, before abruptly taking a more serious tone as Harry gazed at him admirably,
'In the end, you can never find the right words that you've wanted to say for a while; I just hope that one day you'll forgive me for all of this. Can you do that for me, Harry, can you forgive me?' He asked, tilting his head to the side, questioningly.
Harry responded by leaning forward and mimicking Remus' previous action of patting him on the head, while nodding understandingly.
'Moony.' He spoke in a matter-of-factly tone, to which the werewolf let out a shaky bark of laughter at the infants expression. Harry then fell into Remus' chest clutching the toy Moony protectively between them.
Remus held the child close until he fell asleep peacefully in his arms. After a while, Remus got up and returned him, albeit reluctantly, to the cot in his "bedroom". He traced the enlarged lightning bolt shaped mark on his forehead with his thumb before kissing it lightly.
'Good bye young Prongslet.' Inwardly cursing himself for his voice breaking. 'You're going to make everyone proud you know.' He then added in a whisper, tucking a soft, turquoise blanket around the one year old, 'but mostly mummy and daddy and me. We're proud of you the most and always have been.' He stood up to leave, wiping the stray tear from his cheek. 'I love you, Harry. Be safe.' Harry, unconsciously snuggled closer to the toy wolf, causing the werewolf to let out a watery chuckle, before making his way to the dining room.
He entered the room and put on his stoic expression, nodding once at Dumbledore.
'Well that should be everything Mr and Mrs Dursley, you understand all I have said I assume?' They nodded, dumbly. Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled. 'Well then that should be everything! Until next time: good day.'
'I visited Harry today.' He paused, 'Pleasantly surprised though, I never thought that Dumbledore would actually agree to it.' Remus was sat with the back of his head leant against the grave of his best friends, eyes closed. The night was chilly and Remus had lost all feeling in his fingers and toes -not that he cared much. He opened his eyes as he exhaled. The steam from his breath clouding his view for a couple of moments as it dissolved, leaving him to gaze at the millions of tiny stars looking down at him.
Remus always loved the stars. They were the light in his darkness. The warmth in all things cold and lifeless.
'He's safe, Harry, I hope you can see him, wherever you are...' A lump formed in his throat. He coughed back tears and continued, voice quivering and teeth chattering, 'He asked for you both, you know... God I don't know what to do Prongs! How could Dumbledore leave Harry with these people?!' He banged his fist on the ground angrily. 'They put him in a fucking cupboard, Lily! Your own sister!' He held his face in his trembling hands , rubbing his eyes fiercely. 'Prongs, what do I do? You were always the smart one; you always knew what to do...
'Dumbledore said that I can never visit Harry again, or have any contact with him until he says so.' H e growled in exasperation. 'I know he has his reasons, but god damn it, James, Lily, he's all I have left! Your son, how can they expect me to leave him with the Dursley's, family or not?' Met with the expected silence save the gentle howling of the wind, he sighed. 'But I have to, though. I know... It's what's best, I guess. Besides, he deserves better than me anyway. Even if it is the Dursley's that he's with, at least he's safe there.' He stood, wiping the dirt off his worn robes. 'I'm sorry guys.'
The rose he had placed on his first visit had begun to turn brown. He pursed his lips, before taking out his wand and, with shaking hands, transfigured it into a water lily while placing a charm on it, preserving it for a prolonged period of time.
Replacing his wand back into his robes, he ran his fingers through his dry hair, catching onto some knots in the process. 'I'm not going back to Hogwarts.' He stated, looking at the silver cursive engraved on the stone. 'I don't need pity, especially from Dumbledore, he's done too much for me and I don't deserve it anyway...' He placed a hand in his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. 'I don't know what to do... The flat's gone. I might go there first, see if there's everything left and then make my way from there.' He shifted nervously.
'I'll stop by and visit you two whenever I can, but for now, I don't know where the path will take me...' He let out a shaky breath, emitting a loud puff of steam and disapparated, to his past life.
To what he used to call home.
So yeah... another chapter. I found out the existence of the 'Horizontal line' and got quite pleased with myself... *Awkward silence*... So, anyway... thanks for reading so far :)