Nat POV

There is nothing but white noise. White lights. White tiles. White, white, white, white. Hospitals are supposed to make people feel comfortable. I snorted, slamming my back into the only non-white thing around me – A wooden chair.

I love you.

There it was again, on repeat. And then cue the gunfire and the blood and ARGH. I'm sorry Rosalina. I curled up in a ball on the chair. I should've protected her, made sure she was safe. No…she wouldn't have wanted that.

"Take care of Alex first, Nat!"

I couldn't help but smile. Rosalina catered to Alex's every whim. They adored each other. As soon as we started hanging out, Alex immediately announced her as part of the family. And she didn't even blink – Just agreed.

"Nat?" I looked up, searching Christa's face for an inch of news. Nothing.

"Nat." She took a steadying breath, before sitting down next to me. "Nat, we need to talk." I nodded, already knowing what was going to happen. But here, right now?

Yes. I told myself. It has to happen now. This has gone on long enough.

I sighed. "I agree." Christa took my hand hesitantly, before pulling me up. Leading me outside, there was an air of expectancy and a little bit of sorrow.

Christa POV

We leaned against the wall. Just close enough to look like good friends, but just enough that passersby would question if there were something more…

"Nat, I know you love her." My own voice startled the both of us out of our reveries. We were in a trance, neither of us really wanting to talk about this. So I did what I do best, and ran headfirst into the truth.

"I know you don't love me as much as her." He opened his mouth, but I couldn't stop. There was so much to say, and if he stopped me…I knew he might never know what I'd been holding back all this time.

"If we're being honest, I knew it the moment we started this relationship. But I was so happy…I wanted us to work so badly. I had never been truly noticed by anyone, and even though I knew you were subconsciously trying to fill a void that Rosalina had made…

"I thought that if we were together and she was gone long enough, that we would be able to make something of this. I've always thought that it was because I was in love with you, but I think I was wrong. I was in love with the idea of being the only person who really understood you: I thought I could be the only girl that would like you for your jokes and not your stage-time, for your personality and not your money…I thought I really knew you, and that if I could understand you better, you wouldn't see me as one of those stupid girls who only cares about how famous you are.

"And that was really selfish. Because even as I began thinking these things, I already knew someone beat me to that spot. And it was Rosalina. I just wanted to be the girl who could heal you, Nat. I wanted to be the girl who could make you forget about Rosalina.

"And personally, I'm kicking myself, because I always told my friends that there should be one motivation for dating a guy, and that was because you both made each other as happy as you both could be."

"I know you can be happier with someone else Nat. And frankly, so can I."

"I'm apologizing for trying to push Rosalina out of the picture, but it wasn't me that sent her away to Tennessee. And I'm still hurt. I thought that once you figured out that you loved Rosalina," He opened his mouth but I silenced him again.

"Don't deny it, I saw how you defended her on the beach that day. I thought once you realized you loved her, you would break up with me. You wouldn't lead me on anymore. But even after that, there were moments where I thought,"

I hiccuped. Damn it, Christa. Keep it together. You're so close.

"There were moments when you made me think we could work, and that you wanted it as much as I did. Except you didn't, because as soon as Rosalina would appear…Hell, she didn't even have to appear in the room, she was just in your mind…as soon as that happened, you'd check out. And it would be even more obvious that we couldn't ever do this."

"I didn't ever break up with you, because if you made the decision to make us work, I would put the rest of my heart into this relationship. But Nat, I gave you a lot of my heart already. And that hurt so bad, that I don't think I could ever give you the rest, however little left there might be."

Nat POV

I couldn't process anything. Here was the girl who I treated like shit, and she didn't react like any other girl. She didn't cry and beg, she didn't scream, she didn't punch me in the face. It was like she had dissected our entire relationship just to show me why we wouldn't work. She was composed. Except the only thing that gave her away was the shaking of her hands.

Of course, me being impulsive at bad times, I did the one thing I probably shouldn't have done. I grabbed them and held them tightly.

A cross between an exasperated hiss and a sigh came out of her mouth before she brushed me off quickly.

"Nat, stop. This is exactly what I'm talking about. You can't keep doing this. You're not just hurting yourself when you keep your distance from Rosalina. You're hurting me too, because you're putting me in between you guys. And that's not fair. I can't do it anymore." She crossed her arms before turning to go back inside, and a panic rose in my throat.

Christa amazed me, because she made me confront my demons. She was crazy and funny and brutally honest. Which is why I knew I needed to be the same way with her.

"Christa, wait. Please." She stopped, but didn't turn around. "I'm sorry."

"I know that everything I've done on this tour was either stupid, messed-up, or wrong. You are right, I should've acted on my feelings earlier, because now our relationship is so tense that it's only hurting us both."

"I didn't expect to ever see Rosalina again, and when I met you, I thought I'd have a new start. I thought what you had hoped: You could fill the void. But I was also angry. I was still reeling from her decision to leave, and I was taking it out on everyone. And my band, the guys, they were so depressed themselves that they just let me. I gave everyone so much shit and I was so devastated, that when I tried to take my anger out on you during band practices, I was stumped."

"You wouldn't let me. You made me understand that I couldn't be in pain forever that I had to find other ways to heal. But I never told you that "the other way" was harboring every grudge I could against Rosalina. But at the same time, my mind knew there was a different reason why she left, and I couldn't accept the fact that it was because she hated me. I didn't want to believe it, so there was still hope."

"And then the anger came, and I wanted to squash that hope. To tell my body that there was no way she would come back to me. And I wanted to fill the void so bad…and you made me feel something other anger or sadness for the first time since she left. And I hadn't felt anything else in so long that when you and I met, and I felt it, I called it love. And I jumped, even though I knew it wasn't love and in the end we'd both be hurt.

But I wanted it to work, Christa. I wanted us to work so badly."

"Trust me, Nat. I know. I think we both got into this relationship for bad reasons, and at a bad time. I shouldn't have taken advantage of the fact that you needed someone to fill a void – I know better than to assume that I'd ever be more than a mere distraction, if you didn't know that yourself."

I nodded quietly. "And I think we both know that I should've known better than to lead you on for as long as I did. That was wrong, and jerk-like, and I should've waited much longer to get in any kind of relationship. I'm sorry, Christa."

"Me too, Nat."

She had eased her way back to the wall. Side by side, the space between us screamed reconciliation to the passersby. There was no question that we both crossed a huge rift, and we managed to meet right in the middle. I counted my blessings before taking the chance.

"Christa?"

"Hm?"

"Will you stay in the band?" She gave me a swift glare before softening her gaze.

"Nat Wolff, are implying that just because we broke up means I can't be in the band with you." I bolted off the wall in panic.

"No! No! I was just…I was hoping that we could end on a good note, you know? And stay friends and band mates? I don't think we can handle losing another friend, and despite everything…God this sounds way too cliché." She chuckled before putting her hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay Nat. Sometimes when relationships end, they're good endings, and the people really can be friends."

"Like us?"

"Yes, like us. And besides, I would definitely be staying in the band because I think…well…"

"Christa." She looked up at me. "Christa, I'm not going to be angry if you're staying in the band to be with someone else. I understand, and I'm happy for you." I smiled, and she returned it hesitantly.

"Okay, well, same goes for you, then. Don't think that you're all finished with this relationship stuff Nat Wolff. There's a girl in there who you need to have a long, long conversation with." My body seemed to seize and I knew the worry was already crossing over my face.

"Nat, listen. Rosalina's a fighter. She'll pull through this. You just told me that your gut said Rosalina had important reasons for leaving the band? She did. You and I both know that Rosalina's been wrapped up in Pinfield's plot for far too long, and she was trying to stop him from getting to any of you. There is no reason that she would come all this way to not make it. She's strong, she'll fight, and when she wakes up, you better be by her side."

"But the doctor's said…Christa, you heard them. The doctor's said she's not responding at all, and the blood transfusions aren't working. They said that there's an eighty percent chance that she won't make it."

"Then you hold on to that twenty percent Nat. She's going to wake up soon, okay? I know her. She'll pull through."

I took a few deep breaths, and nodded.

"Are you going back to the hotel?" I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I want to be here."

"Then I'll stay too. And I'll call the guys, and they'll be here too. And the Star Rockers." I opened my eyes, and only looked at her, questioning.

"No one should be alone for this, Nat. They're taking it hard over there too. But we can't leave Rosalina alone, and everyone should be together. We all need each other." I only nodded, thankful that I gained a friend like Christa. We might never be the closest of people, but we were on our way to something good, I knew it.

She understands, Rosalina. My mind whispered desperately. She understands, and I can tell you I love you a thousand times over. Wake up, Rosalina. Please. Wake up for me, for the guys, for your new band.

Wake up Rosalina, so I can tell you I love you, and you can hear me as clear as glass.