AN: Thanks for your patience. The new chapter is finally up. I hope it was worth the wait.
I intended this chapter to be longer but in order to update earlier I separated in in two parts so the next chapter will also be from Lucas POV.
Thanks to all the people who added my story to story alert or even favorite. Maybe I get reviews of those readers,too(hope,hope).
LPfan4ever: Thanks! I will continue writing like this. Your opinion means a lot. I love your LP-stories.
OTHGirl24: Thanks for your support. I am waiting for your new review;-)
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A special thanks goes to my beta lalez. You are great.
Now enjoy this chapter and please review. Reviews make my day and motivate me. They show me that you like my story and I want to know how I am doing.
Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or any of its characters. It all belongs to Mark Schwahn and the CW.
Droplets
by Colbie Caillat ft Jason Reeves
Lucas
Turning to his left he noticed that the spot beside him was empty and cold already. A glance to his right showed him that it was 8 am.
"Is it that late already?" he thought to himself wondering. Lindsay would of course be awake by now. She was usually up at the crack of dawn even on the weekends. His morning routine included a run before breakfast and because he didn't want to eat sweaty a shower so he was in a habit of getting up earlier than this,too.
It was just then that he realized something was missing. He did not smell bacon and eggs from the kitchen. Where was Lindsay?
He got up, leaning on his elbows and saw Lindsay sitting at his desk. She was intently starring at the laptop-display. He studied her face to read her expression noticing surprise, joy and incredulity in her features. OK it had been a long time since he had written and not pressed the delay button constantly afterwards but why did she had this expression? She seemed anxious, almost superstitious.
He had seen this expression before.
It had been at the beginning of their relationship. They had just started dating and he had seen the insecurity in her eyes whenever they got closer. She had always doubted whether he was over Peyton. He had told her several times but somehow he couldn't seem to convince her.
Especially when they were talking about his novel. They had worked on his very personal script so she got to know him very well.
This was an advantage after a while because it made working with her easy. She knew which subjects were sensitive. Now it was not so much of an advantage, not really. It's not really good if your partner mistrust you. They kept working on it but in moments like this he could see a hint of the Is-he-really-over-Peyton-doubt in her eyes.
Then he saw her lips tugging into a small smile and she looked up from the screen with a satisfied smile on her face. Then she noticed that he was awake and she looked directly in his eyes. He saw pride and relieve.
"So Lucas, I am curious. This stuff", she pointed at the screen," Is really good, in fact I can see a new novel. What ended your writers' block?", she said a smug expression in her eyes while she surveyed his face.
Lucas let out a sigh of relief, which he tried to hide with a yawn when he saw her smile. She thought it was good, that was good but he couldn't forget that suspicious expression she had had just moments before.
It were these tiny little hints if doubt that made him wondering if they would ever get over the Peyton-issue. It seemed to follow him everywhere. Just the fact that he started writing again after his ex-girlfriends' return had to cause her suspicions again.
He held his expression composed. He didn't want to admit that it had something to do with them. While they were gone he felt like something was missing. He had tried to remember what had made him write this and they were a huge part of it. They had made him who he was and throughout their return he had been faced with his and his friends' dreams. A few of them had come true, others didn't. This was what his new novel was about.
What makes you go on with your life? Family? Friends? Lovers? Work?What is your dream? And even if you got your dream is it enough?And the odds are against it will you continue chasing it or give up?
He was ready to admit that but not to what extent. He was still trying to figure out his confused feelings since their return. But it surely would not do any good discussing them with his girlfriend.
He saw her impatiently staring at him waiting for an answer.
"I don't know", he answered honestly." It's just now that everyone is back and I see how our lives turned out to be I wonder about what we made of our lives, whether our dreams came true and this is what my novel is about. The choices we make and how it effects us."
He saw that he frowned after he said 'everyone' , expecting him to avoid this topic and then she confirmed hi suspicion by asking:
"This doesn't have by chance to do with the return of your two beautiful ex-girlfriends?"
"No, yes. I mean they are a part of my life and they always will be and you know that. But you are a part of my life, too. Without you I wouldn't know what it feels like to live your dream. You had faith in ' An Unkindness of Ravens' when no one else had. And I see Nathan who's dream has been shattered and Haley trying to support and...I think about thinks. You know me. "
A smile tugged around her lips and he stood up, walked over to him to kiss him gently. Then his stomach growled and they started to laugh.
"I will go make breakfast and you go take a shower. You stink." , she says winking and leaving towards the kitchen.
He let himself fall back on the bed and sighed relieved.
--0--
A little while later Lucas was walking back home after practice. He could have taken the car but he needed time to think. There was so much going on that he had to figure out, better sooner than later.
Haley had stopped by at practice and even thought she did not intend to mention the incident at the store he was certain that she meant to talk to him about it but decided against it. He could feel her gaze at him the whole time during lunch. She asked him about his writing so he assumed she had told her.
He told Haley the same as he had told Lindsay. But he knew that there was more to it and the more he tried to convince himself that it had nothing to do with her the more he asked himself if that was really true.
He had been aware of Nathan's situation for a while now and since Peyton's and Brooke's return all those memories and emotions came crashing back on him. He had been aware of them, they would always be important to him, but he had focused on the present and tried not to think about the past so much. But now he could not help himself but wonder what goals in life are realistic and which weren't. Life after high-school was different and the same at the same time. All five of them reunited and finding himself in very similar situations awoke that feeling inside of him.
He heard water running and realized that he was at the river-court. He had subconsciously went here. He shook his head disbelievingly and went to the bench.
After a while he pulled out his I-pod and chose shuffle. The first song he heard was 'If we cannot see' by Devics.
He was persistent on jumping to the next song but something stopped himself. It was as if the song was trying to tell him something. He remembered how Peyton used to say "When I felt like I was all alone and there was no one who understood me there was this song playing that said it all. Everything I wanted to say and suddenly I did not feel so alone anymore."
Now he knew what she meant. He had never quit understood it completely. While listening to it a realization was about to sink in but then he saw a tall, gorgeous blond walking toward him. It took his breath away.
you were born with a heart that can never be filled
and a head like snow that can never be still
there are streets paved in gold that shine so bright
that you force yourself to look away
if we can't see now, we might never see
we only kill ourselves more slowly
if you can't find love, then you will finally see
how we kill ourselves slowly
the words that fall from your mouth
they crystallize and break on the ground
and everything you want, you can't have
but you force yourself to look away
He remembered her body pressed against his, her curls next to his cheeks and her sweet scent. It was was like he was back at the store the day before with her clinging closely to him like her life depended on it and he did not not do anything but hold her closer. He had been so afraid that she could fall and get hurt so he held her tight until he was absolutely sure she was safe. But having her so close had reawakened something inside of him he could not quite define. This undefined feeling washed over him again filling every inch of his body.
if we can't see now
we might never see
we only kill ourselves more slowly
if you can't find love, then you will finally see
how we kill ourselves more slowly
if you can't find me then you can't find love
if you close your eyes then will finally see
that you're already here with me
She smiled at him and his heartbeat sped up then she opened her lips and he heard her say.
"Hi Luke. Are you ok? Your mobile is ringing for several minutes.",she said smirking.
"Don't you want to pick up? Maybe it's important."
"Em...Yeah sure. I guess I was kind of distracted.", he stuttered.
He looked at the display and saw Lindsay's name on the display.
AN: So what do you think? Next is the Clos over Bros opening. It will be from Lucas POV,too.