Chapter Two: G.L.O.P. Sweet Dreams And Lots Of Alcohol
"YOU GAVE ME EXTREME FUCKING ESTROGEN PILLS!?" Roxas yelled at me.
"Okay, so maybe the main ingredient is a dangerous overload of estrogen tolerable only to 16 year old scene girls and Larxene, BUT, it's other plethora of ingredients include baking soda, bath salts, red dye #4, yellow dye #2, SUPADUPAMEGADETH, nipple sauce, H2O, paint fumes, petrified cholesterol, natural heart blockage, and antioxidants. Oh, and those cute lil' Flintstone gummies that taste like hot dog vurp. See? Nothing too serious bro."
"Nothing too serious? Dude. NATURAL HEART BLOCKAGE?"
"At least you won't have to worry about that one."
"…You are such an asshole beyond belief dude. Beyond, fucking belief."
"Yeah, whatever. So, how do you feel now?" I ask. He stumbles a little and says:
"Hehehe, pretty good. WWHOOAAA. I didn't know that Unicorns could vomit like that. Unicorns are a type of horse aren't they? And horses can't vomit… so then why? WHY!?" Okay, so I'll admit. It wasn't smart for him to down it all at once. In fact we shouldn't have even gotten it in the first place, but Oh well.
6 Hours Later. 7:35. Dear Diary,
Roxas stopped seeing weird shit and finished vomiting. Poor guy. He ovulated out of his lungs. OUT OF HIS LUNGS. HE'S A MAN. I thought it wasn't possible, but it is. I am now currently listening to Demyx's pre-concert run through of some songs he wrote.
Yeah he puts on a little sitar solo show and before he presents it to everyone, he comes to me to tune, and get my advice on stuff, and to judge his playing. He's actually pretty good. His progress is coming along nicely. Speaking of progress, Xemnas is making us be more "Unified" and "Cooperative" and "Coordinated" and "Creative" and a bunch of other over complicated C words that I can't get memorized, by making us do a monthly talent show to present our "talents" to one another. I think it's kinda useless, but Demyx, Marluxia, and Roxas seem to think it's pretty cool. I might just go up and whip shit with my chakrams, who knows.
The Next Day, 12:05. Dear Diary,
Tonight's the pre-talent show party. THIS is the only good thing about this whole ordeal, and I mean REALLY good. We throw kick ass parties. We finna get CRUNK! Dude you don't understand. I hope no one finds or sees this but, even though I'm not really into Larxene… she IS the only girl in our Organization, and when you party with Larxene… you PARTY with Larxene. ;) It's going to be AMAZING. Booz, music, and awesomeness. And fire. I like fire. I'll try to update my diary while I'm there, maybe in the bathroom or something. Well, party starts promptly at 8:00. See you there.
8 hours later, 8:05. Dear Diary,
I arrived and immediately ran to the men's restroom. So, party is bangin' and I'm gonna get sooooooo fucked up toniiigggghht. Turn up everybod- Oh shit. Some ones coming in. They called for me in the stalls. Gotta go. Bye