A/N: Hey Guys!
First off, I want to apologize for how late this chapter was. I originally planned to finish this in around 1-3 days after I published the first chapter, but after experimenting a little, I decided to try a different approach than what I was originally planning to write. However, I do think that this chapter is a lot better because of it, so I hope it was worthwhile!
Also, this chapter is exceptionally longer than I first intended it to be. I was originally planning to split it into two chapters, but I couldn't find a good stopping point that would make sense, so instead I left it be, hopefully it won't drag on for too much.
The first half of the story is mostly buildup of setting and other characters, which I believe helps the main plot progress and build more naturally. The latter half of the story has lots of moments for the pair, I promise!
For enjoyment purposes, I strongly encourage you to listen to a few Steins;Gate OST songs while you read, as they really immerse you into the story. I would recommend Christina I and Christina II, as they are both especially fitting to the story. If you really want to get emotional though, I would recommend Farewell for the strongest emotional effect.
I'm really happy with how this turned out, considering the plot driving this short story.
But anyways, without further ado, please enjoy!
Stepping into Japan again washes a wave of nostalgia over Kurisu.
"Ah...Japan. How I missed you." a redhead murmurs, while standing in line for the security to check her visas.
She looks around, taking in the atmosphere. Over to her left, she sees a couple reuniting, the man happily hugging the woman.
Kurisu pauses for a second, her thoughts clouded by this one instance. Her demeanor changes for a brief moment, not exactly sad, but more...wistful.
She sighs, forcing her face away from the scene.
"What am I doing, getting all sad over all of this? I came to change this situation." Kurisu thinks. She lifts her head, with a face full of new found vigor.
After getting out of security and claiming her baggage, Kurisu impatiently walks out to the receiving room.
Perhaps she was just too expectant, because she becomes a little disappointed after seeing that there is noone there to greet her.
She scans the crowd for familiar faces, but sees no sign of recognition on any of them.
"It's not like I was expecting a welcoming party or anything…" Kurisu murmurs.
Just as she starts to move again, she hears a familiar voice.
"Kuris-channn!"
A dainty voice calls out to her on her left, followed by a hearty hug. She looks down to see none other than Mayuri.
"Oh Mayuri, long time no see!" Kurisu politely responds to Mayuri's less than expected tackle, although because she's quite petite, it could, at best, be called a collision. Mayuri lets go soon after, with a pleasant smile on her face.
"Tuturu! Waaah, Mayushii is tired! I came all the way from the lab to greet you! But I mixed up the flight numbers...so I was at the wrong gate..." Mayuri admits sheepishly. "But it's okay, I didn't miss you! Let's go back to the first gate, that's where the others are all waiting for you!"
The others?
Kurisu yelps a little. Despite coming to terms with having to meet Okabe again, it didn't stop the fact that it gave her butterflies every time that thought occurs, for better or for worse.
"Kuris-chan? Is something wrong?" Mayuri asks in concern.
"No, no, nothing is wrong! Let's go already!" Kurisu hurriedly denies. She takes a deep breath in an effort to calm herself.
"Okay, this way!" Mayuri cheerfully responds.
Mayuri, oblivious to Kurisu's cover up, happily skips down the airport terminal, towards the first gate. Kurisu tightens her fist and follows.
After getting lost a few times, Mayuri finally leads Kurisu back to the first gate to meet the rest of the group.
Surprisingly, Kurisu spots only two people waiting.
One is Urushibara Luka, who is sitting down patiently doing...nothing really. Urushibara-san... the most feminine person Kurisu has ever met...but he's a guy. Or at least. He was last time she checked.
And the other...is Hashida, sitting down and reading a magazine, most likely an adult H manga. Kurisu shudders a little at the sight.
When Luka spots them, she waves, catching Daru's attention as well.
"Makise-shi! Long time no see!" Daru states a little too enthusiastically.
Ignoring his tone, Kurisu responds, "Hello Daru. You look the same as ever."
Kurisu then turns to Luka. "Long time no see, Urushibara-san." Kurisu bows a little. Luka timidly replies in agreement, with a feminine bow. ...But he's a guy.
Kurisu takes a quick look around, but Okabe is nowhere to be found. When it becomes clear that he isn't present, she becomes slightly crestfallen, albeit relieved.
Noticing her gazing look, Daru chimes, "If you're looking for Okarin, he's out shopping for parts."
Upon hearing that statement, Kurisu's cheeks start to glow.
"I-I'm not looking for him! Who'd want that idiot around anyway?!" Kurisu sputters.
With a huff, she grabs her suitcase and starts walking away.
"Aaah wait, Kuris-chan!" Mayuri objects, running after her.
"Still a tsundere, I see." Daru retorts.
Along the way back, Kurisu couldn't help but marvel at how much a city could change in such a short amount of time. New shops open, more buildings are erected, and one could even see that there was a lot more traffic in the area. It makes her wonder about the lab, with all of the change that is occurring around it.
"Hey Mayuri? How is the lab doing?" Kurisu voices.
"Hmm...It's the same as ever really! There's nothing much, but what is there sure feels like home." Mayuri points out, with a finger towards the sky.
Kurisu looks to the sky, reflecting on Mayuri's response. Nothing's changed...that was most likely a good thing. The nostalgia of just last year comes back to her, sweeping over her with warm feelings.
She walks a little faster, eager to see the familiar setting again.
Along the way back, Kurisu listens to Mayuri talk about what everyone had been doing over these past few months. Feyris has now taken over the maid cafe MayQueen, with Mayuri working there as well. Alongside that, Mayuri has also continued her cosplay passion, creating outfits for events such as Conima.
Luka had taken over his family shrine, and has been doing well since.
...But he's a guy. Wait. That doesn't even apply to this situation. Kurisu slaps herself mentally for even thinking that. Moving on…
Moeka is still working with Mr. Braun in the CRT shop below the lab. Curious about Mr. Braun's living, Kurisu asks about how much money that they're making, considering Okabe and his excessive use of electricity. Ironically, it seems that despite repeated threats by Mr. Braun to raise the rent, he never did. Kurisu couldn't help but laugh at the thought that Mr. Braun might actually like them.
Daru has begun to work at a technological center, and is actually receiving a decent salary. He still finds time to interact with his 2D girls, however.
When that topic comes up, Kurisu suddenly remembers about Amane Yuki.
"Daru, how are things going along with you and Amane-san?" Kurisu inquires.
Daru tilts his hat down subtlely and makes that weird half groan half laugh that he always makes, almost like he's embarrassed.
"We're doing well actually. I'm going to see her this weekend. It'll be the third time this week!" Daru voices passively.
"And does she know about this...obsession of yours?" Kurisu implies about the 2D girls.
"Very much so, actually. And she respects it! Ah, what a great woman! She's like the ones in my visual novels!" Daru says while looking up towards the sky, hands clenched, a tear rolling down his eye.
"Righhht.. so…" Kurisu turns her attention back to Mayuri, who was already several paces in front of them, and asks, " What about Okabe?"
Apparently, Okabe had started to attended a university, which gives him the scientific freedom to conduct his own experiments. On the side, he still creates wacky gadgets that, to some extent, have a use, although that use is normally not what it was originally intended for. Kurisu smiles.
"That's just like Okabe." She thinks.
Before she even knows it, Kurisu arrives at the CRT shop, the lab right above. As they're climbing the stairs, Mayuri energetically bounds up faster than everyone else, eager to open the door. She opens the door, and calls out, "Okarin! Kuris-chan has arrived!"
There's no answer, and rightfully so. Okabe isn't here.
"Gaaah, why isn't Okarin back yet? Kuris-chan came all the way here…" Mayuri pouted.
Kurisu steps into the door, soothing Mayuri.
"It's quite alright Mayuri, I have time. I mean. To catch up with all of you of course. Not just Okabe!" Kurisu swiftly covers.
Kurisu puts her luggage to the side so no one would trip over it, and sits on the couch to relax. Over to her left, Daru opens his computer, looking through highly technical software. To her right, she can vaguely make out a conversation where Mayuri is trying to get Luka to try one of her costumes, whereas Luka is highly reluctant to try.
This scene is all too familiar.
Kurisu sighs in contentment, leaning back on the couch and picking up a upa cushion. She looks around, basking in the nostalgia. Just a normal day in the Future Gadget Lab...how she missed it dearly. The only thing missing was one mad scientist…
Suddenly, the sound of the door could be heard opening.
Speak of the devil. Kurisu's heart starts pounding all over again.
"Ugh, I'm tired. Daru, pass me a Doctor Pepper will yo-" Okabe says as he walks in, cutting himself short when he sees a particular redhead.
An awkward silence passes over the lab as the two stare at each other for a few seconds.
Using the only way he knows how, Okabe reaches for his phone in order to escape from a perilous situation.
"It's me. It seems an agent of the Organization has arrived. I'll keep you posted on her movements. El. Psy. Kongroo."
Kurisu begins to laugh despite herself. She had predicted, no, knew, that there would be a response like this from Okabe, but hearing the silliness all over again cracks a smile on her face.
Okabe, caught off guard by the sudden laughter, quickly regains his composure.
"Long time no see, Kurisutina~!" Okabe maniacally says.
Kurisu, defeated by Okabe's immaturity, smacks the side of her head with her hand, and sighs playfully.
"Still the same as ever, aren't you?" Kurisu jabs.
"Huh? What was that Assistant? I'll have you know…" Okabe continues to ramble at her, talking about the importance of the Organization, and the "Operations", unsurprisingly named after Norse Mythology. All undeniably things that Okabe would say.
Eventually after setting in, Kurisu takes in the atmosphere and starts to observe life going on around her in the lab, content with where she currently is. Looking at this situation, Kurisu can only think of the memories she made in this small, stuffy room. Her lips curl to a smile.
"How could I have ever left this place? It feels so much like I'm home when I'm here." Kurisu thinks.
Seeing Okabe and his antics, she couldn't actually believe that she had actually fell for him and his ridiculousness. Ironically enough however, it was this same ridiculousness that made her laugh- a rare sight for someone so serious. But behind his maniac mask, Kurisu knew that Okabe was a person who genuinely valued his friends. Perhaps that was what drew Kurisu to him. Someone who would not judge her, but rather, someone who would look at her as a person, as a friend, and take her out of her solitude.
And that he did. In a world surrounded by so many dishonest people trying to take advantage of her, she had found "him", in the most circumstantial of ways. So crazy, so different, yet so honest and kind when it mattered. Kurisu didn't think that there was anyone else that she could fall for. And it was for that reason that she had to make things right.
In the back of her mind, she knew that she had to confront Okabe and her feelings. For now though, she was fine just staying like this. Just a little longer…
By nightfall, the crowd begins to thin out. First it's Luka. Then Daru. And finally, Mayuri leaves as well, leaving just Kurisu and Okabe alone in the lab, the lights weaning overhead.
Okabe sighs, sitting on the couch next to Kurisu.
"Long day, huh?" Kurisu inquires. She looks towards Okabe, enjoying the light atmosphere.
Okabe doesn't return her gaze, instead opting to grab a Doctor Pepper on the table.
"Yeah. Things have gotten so busy lately. I'm absolutely tired." Okabe replies.
He sits back on the couch too, looking forward.
"For what it's worth though, I'm glad you're back." Okabe suddenly says.
Kurisu's heart skips a beat. How does she respond to that?
A part of her urges her to agree, to ignore the bigger problem at hand and fall under the illusion of contentment.
She knows that there lies a gap in between them. But how would she go about bridging that gap? There really was no easy way. Confronting it would only make things awkward, maybe even widen that gap.
Kurisu begins to second guess herself. Maybe she should just not mention anything at all. Enjoying the small moments and acting like there was nothing wrong...Surely she couldn't blame herself for wanting that?
Kurisu tightens her grip. No. She wouldn't let it stop here. If she lets this continue, it'll only drive them apart. For the sake of both of them, she needs to confront this head on.
She turns to look at Okabe.
"Okabe… I…" Kurisu stops, thinking about what to say next.
"I feel the same. But...You seem so distant from me right now."
She had said it. There was no going back.
Kurisu looks down, suddenly interested in the ground. Her hands go up to her hair, and she starts aimlessly weaving her hand through it. A rogue strand of hair peeks out, creating a line in her forehead.
Kurisu hears a sound that sounds like Okabe gulping.
"I...really? Sorry, I'm just...new to this kind of thing, that's all." Okabe stutters.
Kurisu isn't really convinced. She can hear the uncertainty in Okabe's voice.
She looks up to Okabe again, who's still avoiding eye contact with him, instead opting to look straight ahead.
Okabe's facial expression has changed. Kurisu couldn't really tell what Okabe was thinking. It scares Kurisu, not knowing what Okabe is feeling. Angry? Sad? Regretful? She's never felt so distant from him, and it hurts to know that.
"Okabe...what's wrong?" Kurisu asks timidly. She shifts her body, so that she's facing her.
A brief pause, as silent tensions fill the air.
"Nothing, honest. I'm alright Christina. Just a little tired, thats all." Okabe replies softly, a small cry of pain present.
Kurisu scoots a little closer to Okabe, and gently puts her hand on his arm, trying to comfort him.
"You know that you can tell me...anything, right? I'll listen. So please." Kurisu tries.
"Kurisu...Don't worry alright? I'll be fine." Okabe whimpered, his voice now strained.
"But I am worrying! Don't you see?! You're worrying me sick, and I can't...I can't bear to see you like this...so please…" Kurisu raises her voice, her emotions getting in the way of her rationale. She starts to tear up, pleading Okabe to reveal his feelings.
Kurisu grabs Okabe's arm with both of her hands. She needed to support him. This was a serious matter. The fact that he called her Kurisu proved that. To Okabe, she had many names...but when Okabe said her actual name, it was her way of knowing that he was serious, and that this moment mattered.
"But I… I can't! There's nothing that you can do, so-" Okabe tries.
Kurisu stops him short, bringing her hand to his chin and turning his head so that he's facing her.
Kurisu gasps a little.
One look at his face is all it takes to make her comprehend what he's feeling.
"...You're scared." Kurisu realizes softly.
Okabe's face is pained, and he looks away quickly.
"Yeah. I'm scared. So scared that I don't know what to do anymore." Okabe says in anguish.
"Okabe…" Kurisu empathetically says. Her grip tightens on his arm.
"I...thought I had it under control. But then I see you again...and the memories…" Okabe stops, his voice choking up.
"Okabe, please...It's okay." Kurisu's voice cracks a little, a tear rolling down her cheek.
...It hurt. Kurisu understood what he was going through. When Okabe disappeared from the World Line, she felt...empty. And the fact that she couldn't do anything about it was what hurt the most.
She knew how he felt. And yet he must've felt much more pain. She knows that what Okabe's gone through was 10 times worse than what she did. All she got was a mere fraction, and Okabe? He took the pain brutally, risking his sanity for two of his closest friends.
Okabe stands up, walking over to the table where the phone microwave used to be. Kurisu could hear him sobbing a little, trying to hold the tears back.
Kurisu gets up and approaches him, grabbing his arm again.
"I know Okabe, gods, I know. But you're not alone." Kurisu responds softly.
Okabe turns around and looks at her in the eye, a wistful look on his face.
"That's exactly what I'm afraid of! I'm so scared... Scared of getting close to you. If I get any closer and you disappear...I don't think I could take it anymore. I'd break." Okabe's voice cracks, and he shudders, more tears welling up inside his eyes.
Kurisu runs into Okabe and embraces him tight, not letting go. She didn't want to see him suffer like this. Okabe returns the heat.
"Seeing one's death...and the futility of trying to save them...It really does feel like the World is against me sometimes..." Okabe reminisces sadly. "Do you know what it's like to try so hard and gain so little? The insignificance of your actions...knowing that no matter what you do, all your efforts are futile? I can't bear to feel that with you, Kurisu...it would be too much for me…"
Kurisu pulls him in a little tighter, burying her face in his chest.
"When you disappeared for the first time...and I couldn't even remember your name..it was so painful. And it became even worse when I was the only one that remembered...Now I can't bear the thought of living on without you...by my side…I would be forever lonely." Kurisu recalls sorrowfully.
Okabe looks away, conflicted and resigned as to what to do.
"I...want to believe in those words...but it's for that very reason which I have to distance myself. The anguish that I would feel…" Okabe sucks in his breath, trying to prevent himself from sobbing.
Kurisu lifts her head up, trying to comfort Okabe in any way that she can.
"Okabe… I know you're scared… I know that… you can't stand to get close. But you need to know that I'm here for you. I am and always will be. I'm just as scared as you are...but I know that I can face what ever comes at us in the future, because I have you. And you have me. You're not alone, Okabe." Kurisu smiles bittersweetly, looking up towards him.
Okabe turns his gaze back to Kurisu's amethyst eyes, his eyes in shock. Slowly, his pained expression turns into one of a sad smile.
"Kurisu...I…" Okabe stops, his eyes looking away to search for the right words. "Thank you...You're always like this. You...always listened to and helped me. No matter where I was."
Even though Kurisu was there to support Okabe, the truth was that she needed him to support her too. They needed each other. Kurisu knew that. She needed Okabe to be there and pull her out of her seclusion and loneliness, to help her when she needed to cry on someone's shoulder. And Okabe needed Kurisu to guide him. As the only one who understood what he was going through, Kurisu would be his salvation, his guide and savior when he needed her the most.
Okabe turns his head back and gazes into Kurisu's eyes. All is still as the two affectionately look at each other, embracing their presence. Okabe brings up his hand and caresses her soft cheek with his hands, and the pair closes their eyes as they lean in for a passionate kiss. The kiss was the culmination of their feelings, all of the raw emotions, feelings, and sentiments to each other, as they would become each other's emotional stability. All of their built up grief, sadness, and love poured overwhelmingly, and it only made their kiss that much more precious to the two. To Kurisu, it seems as if time had all but stopped at that very moment, where it was just him and her. Even as the world went on, time would remember the moment when the observers of the world unified to one in the form of love.
With that kiss, the two had become inseparable. And they were fine with that.
Kurisu sits back on the couch, and Okabe follows. He sweeps Kurisu's now messy bangs to the side so that he can kiss her forehead affectionately, then sits down next to her. Kurisu interlocks her digits within Okabe's, and rests her head on his shoulder with a content murmur. The man chuckles a little, then, in turn, rests his head on hers. An overall, romantic, albeit clumsy, scene from the couple, who were finally at peace.
For a while, the lab was quiet while the pair sat in silence. They didn't really mind it though. No words needed to be said at that particular moment. The simple gesture of sitting together in reassurance spoke louder than any other words.
Eventually, Kurisu lets out a light yawn.
Okabe smiles, amused at her sleepiness.
"Tired?" Okabe asks.
"Mmmmm...yeah…" Kurisu replies sleepily.
"...Did you even check into your hotel yet?"
"..."
"Kurisu?"
"...craaaaap."
Okabe can't help but start laughing at how funny she acts at night.
"Well I guess it can't be helped. You can sleep here for the night." Okabe explains.
Kurisu sighs.
"Man...on this stinking couch?"
"Yes, on this stinking couch, now c'mon, get up so I can go get the pillows and blankets." Okabe replies.
Kurisu stands up to stretch and yawns again. Okabe disappears for a second and comes back holding a pillow and blanket.
"Well, there's only one set of everything really. Guess we're sharing." Okabe implies, giving a subtle wink along with a nonchalant shrug.
"Don't get so excited." Kurisu laughs and punches his arm playfully.
They lay out the blanket and pillow, and then lie down on the couch together, with Okabe taking the inside, and Kurisu facing him on the outside. It was admittedly, a little squished, but cozy nevertheless. Kurisu didn't exactly mind cuddling with Okabe either, much less his musty smell.
"You need to take a shower." Kurisu implies.
"Alright, alright, cut it out. It's been a long day, okay?" Okabe defends.
The redhead chuckles a little, then searches for Okabe's hand. Upon finding it, she squeezes it affectionately, then leans into his warmth. Okabe starts absentmindedly playing with Kurisu's hair with his other hand.
"There's no telling what the future still holds for us," Okabe says finally.
"...Yeah. But we'll be alright. As long as we stick together." Kurisu replies, a firm tone in her words.
"You'll come find me if I disappear again, right?" the man jokes.
"Heh...I'll come running from the ends of Earth for you if that's what it takes...because, I love you, Okabe." Kurisu confesses.
"...I love you too, Kurisu." Okabe reiterates.
The two embrace each other a little closer as Kurisu nuzzles Okabe affectionately.
It had been a long day, with almost too much for Kurisu to handle. But Kurisu knew that, as she was drifting out of consciousness with Okabe wrapped around her, from this day forward, they would set things straight.
Kurisu wakes up, only to find that she has been tucked in. Over to her right, the sunlight filters into the room, signaling a new day. Not sensing the presence of Okabe, she looks arounds to find him sitting at the desk in the cubby where the phone microwave was developed.
The redhead gets up, and walks over to him, leaning on his shoulder and looking past his head to observe what he was doing. On the table were a few electrical components all mixed together.
"What're you doing?" Kurisu asks her boyfriend.
"Eh. Experiments I have to present to the University. You want to help, assistant?" Okabe implies lightheartedly.
Kurisu smiles amusingly and rolls her eyes, but pulls up a chair to sit down next to him.
"Anything for you." Kurisu replies in a whimsical manner.
As they begin conversing, Kurisu couldn't help but think back to what their relationship really was.
They were friends. They were quirky. They were tongue biting, as well as laboratory head and assistant. And now they were boyfriend and girlfriend. But they were also something more than that.
They were, better people together than as individuals. Complementary. Two halves to a greater whole. In the world that they both observe, there was only one way to describe the couple.
They were in perfect harmony with each other.
And that, to Kurisu, was everything that she could've ever asked for.
She presses her lips to his before they started one of their many days that would reach out towards the limitless future.
Together.
And that is all for now guys! I want to thank all of you guys for making it this far.
One thing that I really wanted to emphasize with this story was the fear and emotional aspect that these characters had, and which I also believed was an integral part of the story in Steins;Gate and their relationship. I haven't really seen any other fanfics address this component of the plot, so I decided I would try it out.
Of course, reviews are highly appreciated, they let me know if I should do more of these in the future, as well as improve my writing, so it's better for everyone!
I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I did creating it. Again, thanks for reading!