Oh cogs

I may have miscalculated

In my defense, this could not have been foreseen

However

I should've expected it

Pesky, pesky variables

Unexpected drinking contest between us and the Noxian blood brothers. Did not plan to drink this much, but… her smile, her touch, her…her

Fucking variables

It should be hitting me now. Three drinks over my plan, difficult to think. It will be hard to remember this in the morning, but the black box will help me. Everything I want to remember, I will remember thanks to it. Even things I don't tell it to remember, courtesy of "Professor Fuzzball", as she calls him.

It's rather amusing

Stats; Vi has drunken more liquor than I have ever seen, save for a certain few champion. It is far than twice what I have drunken. She is extremely touchy when intoxicated, but she doesn't get embarrassed by it, even going as far as smirking when I catch her hand resting on my hip. May be due to the change in scenery or the simple concept that she's too intoxicated to care.

For me, I find it pleasant, at the very least

Focus

Our lips touched briefly in the washroom, I wanted to lean in for another. Her eyes were closed; I don't think she even realized we kissed.

Caitlyn

She acts as if we are already a couple, some kind of fantasy; her arm remains wrapped around my waist for the rest of the night. Five times I've felt her palm pressed against my rear. I can't say I tried to stop her.

It's been so long, the touch is gentle yet possessive

But I have to know what her limits are.

The plan, Caitlyn

This is what the original plan was. Learn her, know her, try to understand. Liquor is liquid trust and I thirst for information.

So cliché

Hook, line, sinker

It's just so hard

Her eyes are so comforting

Her hand is so strong.

I do my best to observe her; she leans in close to me I feel her toned body press against mine. Her hand guides my own to unlock the runic knob. She bids me good night, and here is my chance. She expects me to allow her to walk away, though she enjoyed this evening. She is dejected, eyes downcast, voice somber. She does her best to hide it. Undertone, she wants more.

I want more

Test her, Caitlyn, it's your game

Usual response, she shudders when I let my breath breeze over her neck. I can feel the heat radiating from her; she tries to pry my arms off of her. The attempt is halfhearted; she could easily pull me off if she wanted to.

Of course she wouldn't want to.

"Let's get you to bed then." She sounds amused; I try my best not to rest my entire weight on her as she pulls me through my flat.

She pauses in the middle of my living room. Why? Has she forgotten something at the lounge? Perhaps she's second guessing herself. No, not that, she's buzzed, she has all the confidence in the world as noted by she handled herself throughout the night. Though I cannot open my heavy eyes, I feel her head shifting back and forth, is she inspecting my apartment?

I suspect her flat is a mess then.

An amusing sound escapes her lips when I let my breath glide over her neck again; it makes me want to do it more. But I must pace myself, not too strong of a front; humans enjoy being led gently into things.

I can hear her heart beat beneath my ear, it thumps hard. I find myself nearly falling asleep from the rhythm.

My parents, though caring, were never ones to read me a story to sleep or allow me to sleep in their bed when there was a thunderstorm. I never realized how comforting the simple sound of a heartbeat could be.

I feel gravity pulling us downwards, my eyes finally tear open. She tripped, I expect her to be a tad bit more dexterous. Perhaps my teasing along with the alcohol proved to be too distracting. Nonetheless, I manage to twist our bodies so that we stumble a few more steps before collapsing onto my bed in a heap.

Normally, I would cringe at the fact that neither of us has shower. I would force Vi to remove her shoes before stepping foot on my carpet. I would put in a request for a few extra hours in the morning free from matches.

But this is not normal circumstances.

I don't want to leave her arms

And her body is so warm

Her embrace feels so right

I want to lose myself

Focus

"Cupcake, please don't do this to me." I find my face nuzzled deep into the crook of her neck, she smells of sunflowers.

I give in, telling her to stay with me for tonight.

Doubtful she suspects of the plan I had for the evening, it's a surprise she hasn't confronted me about her feelings for the years we've known each other. For a woman of direct nature, she is very indirect with her emotions.

Understandable

It is when I hear her breath catch beneath my ear that I realize where my fingers are and the patterns they are tracing. I recognize it as the arrangement of the inner gears of her left gauntlet. Though not an engineer, I couldn't help but study them when she fell asleep beside my desk on a particularly long night at the station.

She has trust issues, so why am I doing this experiment. She'll be hurt if she ever finds out. I am betting all the trust I have earned on this. I want to do as the summoners do and call out worth.

I can only feel myself slide my lips across her skin, the command to do so never registering in my mind.

This is no longer about research.

"Caitlyn, you're drunk."

I enjoy being alone

She pushes my away; she doesn't want it, not now at least. Her eyes are so sad; she wants to do this right.

But I don't want to wait

I want to feel loved

She crosses my mind

I feel just a little less lonely

Cogs, Vi, take a fucking hint

"Fucking tease"

I let it slip; mother would give me an earful if she heard me. However, she would no doubt be more concerned about the fact that I am me sharing a bed with another woman. Close minded Mother; wants to keep her daughter perfect for some rich inventor to swoop me into his arms.

The Piltover Dream

Soft lips press against my forehead

Not as I planned, but I now know that she is willing to take the high road and wait until we are sober. She has morals.

How charming

I'll be revisiting this memory one day. Note; treat Vi well, no more of these kinds of games. She deserves better, Caitlyn.