6:42 am Initiating Automated Black Box recording. Criteria(s) met: symptoms associated with 'love'
I allow my eyes to open, rousing myself from the replay of last night's events. It's oddly satisfying to know that we won the drinking contest against Darius and Draven.
Vi shifted slightly during her sleep, my face no longer tucked into the crook of her neck. Expected her to toss and turn; she probably slept soundly on the account of the alcohol. She is still unaware that I have awoken; her peaceful can be seen in the soft glow of the early sun.
Registering abnormality in the heart beat
Her arms are wrapped around me; her left hand is slightly entangled in my hair. My hands rest at her hips, I believe my usual gloves are tossed on my dresser. There is a thin sliver of exposed skin that I allow myself to stroke. Fingers brush over ridges of scar tissue.
What the stories are behind all of them; Burns of both the physical and the chemical kind, cuts, stitches, thick square patches of pure scar tissue. They tell the story of her past that I wish to learn. It will be painful her for to recount them. She begins to stir when I accidently press too hard on one of the creases.
Registering signs of panic
Still the body, close the eyes, and even out the breathing. Her body stiffens suddenly; she doesn't quite remember what she did last night. Is she ashamed of the situation? Ashamed that she is sharing a bed with me, or ashamed that she didn't go beyond simply sharing a bed…
She sighs, it sounds like a sigh of relief.
Pride swells in my chest, the reason for it I don't quite know. She is the better of what I predicted her to be.
She has morals that she will stand by, perhaps these morals apply to everyone or maybe only to me.
I understand just a little bit more, it is enough for now.
Registering signs of content
I have fallen for her. As cliché as it may sound as if it were straight out of a sappy romance novel, I have fallen of a woman who has treated me far better than any man has. She doesn't even know what makes her so much better than most of the people in the uppercity.
For her, I am not a rung in a ladder to the top; I am not a mere stepping stone; a name to drop when the time is right. I am a person. A human being just like she is.
It is no doubt hard for her for she is doing the best that she can even though no one ever taught her right from wrong. On pure instincts. Perhaps a flaw.
Something unfit for a Zaunite super solider
"Cait, wake up." Hands shake me gently. Almost instinctively, I pull myself closer to her body.
A few more moments.
A soft heartbeat.
There is a flutter to each thump; recall, a scar under her left collar bone.
The ethereal scent of sunflowers
"Please"
She sounds breathless, it's about time we come to an understanding. My head lifts and meets her gaze; she looks oh so confused, so lost. Confliction storms in her eyes, she questions me about my smile.
I am smiling?
"What? Why are you looking at me like I just won the Heim-Tech Prize?"
There is the slightest of blushes that dusts over her cheeks. Is she embarrassed or simply aroused?
Cogs I hope that it's the latter
Morning mints, individually wrapped underneath the pillow. Specially placed.
My hands take a detour on their way up to the pillow. Her skin is deceivingly soft, a stark contrast to the roughness of her hands. Heat radiates between the two of us, she wants this as much I as do.
"Woah, let's talk about this first." Her attempt is full force, she succeeds in stopping my advancements.
I want her touch, her warmth. I want her happiness, her love, her trust. I want everything she has to offer and to give her all that I am.
Two small spheres of confection roll around my tongue, the chill cascading down my throat. Her lips are just as they were at the lounge; slightly chapped, not very well-kept, distinctly Vi's. Her head shudders in my hand; a groan is released from her throat.
She is doing her best to restrain herself even at this point.
Her hands fumble with my hair, as if she is unsure of what do with something that's not machinery. They pull roughly, unearthing electricity that races down my back.
Nails scrap against scalps, we both moan into the kiss.
She has passed the test, such a feeble attempt to hide my intentions from the start. Her mind is processing the information given to her; it is still struggling to catch up from last night. Scar in her scalp, medical precision. Her mental process has been altered. She relies more on instinct.
Explains her violent and brash nature.
I feed her morsels of details.
Scenarios; she will either reject me once she works out my plan or she will accept it for who I am. She recognizes the type of person I am, what I need to be comfortable. It is a crucial part of who I am. But that may not be enough to overcome the betrayal she will no doubt feel. She will run with the first conclusion she pulls together.
I don't usually feel fear.
Registering signs of anxiety
"Oh you fucking, fucking tease." She growls, more playful than aggressive. It is the sound of amusement.
Relief, I can see a flicker hurt in her eyes, her brows furrow ever so slightly. Underlying agitation. Her lips of ever so hesitant the second time around, she needs a moment to come to terms with the realization.
"You're not a light weight."
Before I can stop myself, I spin a white lie. It's so hard; I'm so accustomed to covering my tracks. Curse my parents; what they don't know won't hurt them.
But this is different.
She deserves the truth
I need to stop myself, she is not my parents; I need to come clean about my intentions last night. In fact, I should tell her about all the subtle things I am sure she hasn't even taken notice in the past weeks. Shifting of patrol schedules, decrease in domestic cases that are assigned to her; small things to make her life a bit easier.
Slower in the mind, in tune with the heart.
She still deserves to know. I will stop her and tell her, before this goes any farther, then she can truly decide whether-
Dull nails drag down the back of my neck, a gasp rushes out of my mouth. Lips, Vi's lips, wonderful, talented lips trail down my throat. They are teasing, they don't press hard enough to show lust, but they are not hesitant.
Control is what she is displaying
Impressive
"So what did you expect from me, last night?"
Not control.
She gently sucks at my neck, her nose pressing into the soft skin. She is smirking, playful as always. Her tone of voice. I understand a bit more.
Teasing
"That I take you, in my drunken stupor, on the bed, sheets tangled at our feet."
A game
A sharp pain lances up to my mind. I bury my hands into her hair and shirt, gripping on as her continues to explore.
"Or not even that. Perhaps against the wall of your flat, your back pressed against the cool surface, my fingers tracing up your legs."
I didn't even notice her hands leaving my neck. I feel the nails rasping up the inside of my thighs. I can only imagine what it would feel like to have them inside of me. My heart longs for her. It's a strange sensation.
I've never truly loved someone.
"Or even in the bar. When you stole my Noxian Firebile; bent over the counter, with everyone watching."
Or even felt love
It feels warm.
"What if that's what you wanted the whole night, you naughty girl. You brain alight with alcohol, the music in the lounge pounding in your chest."
Her voice sounds forced, strained by the situation? I haven't taken note of what exactly she's saying. Her voice is enough. Her touch, her maddening touch. There is hot breath against my ear. My back arches.
Focus
Perhaps she is nervous on taking it this far with me.
Perhaps she is having second thoughts.
Caitlyn
What are the words she's saying?
Initiating memory playback
"All those people watching as I fuck you senseless."
Curious
Her fingers are slow, caring. She is careful to allow me chances to stop her. Her body against mine; so warm even through the thin fabric of her skin. I want more, I need more. Tearing of fabric. Warmth
She seems to think I am into power play. It is not the first time someone has attempted this with me. I despise it, the misconception that a woman in power has such predictable sexual fetish. Logical, but demeaning to me. I am not predictable.
But she predictable
She probably finds victory in her seemingly lucky gamble.
Her movements are more aggressive, assertive. There is sweet pain entwined with raw passion. Teeth, nails, lips. With my eyes closed, the only question I can focus on is where they are going to be next.
!
White heat
"You like it rough, don't you sheriff,"
There will be a mark on my neck.
"So pristine, so perfect. To be reduced to muttering putty under my touch."
Strange how easily the human mind can be derailed. Though it is understandable from an evolutionary stand point; reproduction must be encouraged somehow. The longing I feel for this woman, as if she was an original piece of me and I have had to make do without her all this time.
It doesn't make sense
Complete
It builds so fast. I've wanted this for so long, to feel this way. Just her touch, the simple hot gush of her breath, sound of her voice. All maddening. Merciless pleasure
Pure Bliss
All crashing down
"Vi, fuck…Vi!"
The crying of the mate's name during climax. Most likely social evolution. It brings a sense of tethering between the two minds, an appreciation. Lust. Want. All to fulfill the human need of acceptance and approvement.
Trust
Stillness settles back on the room, silence, there isn't even movement from the courtyard. I felt complete. For a brief moment, it was as if I had lived life to the fullest, that there was nothing left to pursue. It lingers, a pleasant haze.
Her lips are warmer than before.
She is reading me, her eyes so clear, so carefree, so young yet sharp with jagged edges of somber wisdom. She is reading me in the language she is familiar with; she will never truly understand how my mind ticks.
And nor will I of hers.
Never do two minds speak in the same language.
I will come to terms with that one day.
I will realize that she is an incredible person, perfect at being Vi.
I don't have much time until the usually time of free matches begin. Perhaps I'll-
Chiming
"Caitlyn, you are being summoned for a match, please report to the summoning platform in 10 minutes."
"Oh the joys of free week."
Disappointing. She deserves more.
More…
Cogs
I never told her
Dread
My throat tightens
What she doesn't know won't hurt her
But she is different
Amusing that I was so worried about it at one point
A mask, as always. Ease into it, no use dropping it on her now. Uncouth, there is not enough time anyhow.
I am distracted
I miss her lips
My chest aches
I should've told her
I promise I'll make it up to her.
Some how
7:30 am Ending Automated Black Box recording. Criteria(s) met: returning to routine of League Matches.