10:43 pm Initiate manual Black Box Recording.
Quiet
I am not used to it being this quiet
it is
Strange
It's not that the black box emits a hum or a buzz or some kind of noise. I never noticed it, but, the feeling of it just being...there. Always listening, calculating, waiting for criterias to be met and for the recording to begin.
And now, its just quiet
Alone in my head, but there is her head resting upon my lap. Eyes closed, face peaceful. Asleep in the last place she would've seen herself working at.
A smile tugs
I should remember this, remember how much she means to me, how much it hurt to see her face when we broke the news. i know her heart broke as much as mine, probably more so. My anchor, my touch stone. I make this recording to remind myself of what I fight for.
She didn't take it well when we told her i would be attending the ceremony with Jayce, I expected as much. He gave his condolences, assured her that he was in no means romantically involved with me. Of course, she scoffed at him.
Trust issues
I am supposed to be helping her, yet all I do is cause her more pain.
I'm doing the best I can and so is she
The office is quiet, I am thankful my walls are thick enough to block out the mundane drone of the officers outside. My walls were bare once, not a single picture, only a plaque announcing my title as sheriff.
Now there is a small corkboard with a mess of random photos pinned on it. Of us at the Jewel Market carnival, the puppy we rescued from one of the lowercity gutters, Jayce's passed out face with scribbles drawn on it. I tried to organize them at first, but she just kept haphazardly pinning on more and more, covering every inch of the board.
There is a dent in the plaster beside it, my fingers brush against her bruised knuckles. I cannot blame her.
She is so peaceful, her breath steady. Fast asleep, exhausted from the day's trials. There are reports to be filled on the coffee table in front of us. I don't care, not today, not right now.
Work had always been my release, a distraction from thinking, from the world. Where she throws punches at a sand-filled bag, i read files and scrutinize over cold cases.
A balancing act
This must be what father went through, the politics, the faces, and the acts he would have to put on in order to please everyone. He lost who he truly was and thus found himself in catalyst. A crutch to the burden of fathering a murderer.
My first kill, first regret
No memory, I don't want to remember, not right now at least.
Vi
A woman with slightly chapped lips, oh so kissable lips. Tangled hair, worn clothing, calloused hands, strong muscles, outrageous humor, a quick punch-
All these describe her, but none of them define her
She is Vi
A human being
Remember the warmth I feel right now. Pride, happiness, caring, acceptance, understanding. The way my heart flutters when I see her smile, how my fingers find their own way to her skin while she sleeps. Like a knot rising to my throat, all I want to do is spend my time with her, away from my work, away from the prying eyes of society. Against all instincts, all logic, i would follow her to the end of the world as long as I would be by her side.
Love
Something I will fight for, against the city that raised me.
Fight back
11:02 pm End manual Black Box Recording.