Mixed Feelings & Holding It Together

General Braddock's Office - Kandahar

General Braddock was pacing in his office as he waited to be connected with Colonel Sutton. He was getting no sleep tonight but that was not unusual in the past three months due to current circumstances. Coffee was sleep's substitute most nights. But tonight was worse than the past three months combined. His son had just done something he vowed never to do. He had such mixed feelings on what Samuel just did.

On one hand he was ecstatic. He had wanted Samuel to return to the Army for years, family tradition and all. He could do so much good for the world applying his skills here. He could make a real difference. He could rise in ranks quickly; maybe someday make General like him.

But on the other hand, Samuel was doing so well with Team One and was making a good life for himself. He was truly and finally happy doing something that he valued and gave him purpose. He had wanted Samuel back but only if it was something he wanted. Which it was evident from his voice was not the case tonight. Although it was officially a voluntary reactivation he knew Samuel made the decision under duress.

His mind slipped back to the day Samuel signed his early discharge paperwork. It was in this very office. William cringed when he remembered which staff member handled the paperwork that day, Corporal Merrill. He stopped pacing and looked at the chair Samuel had been sitting in that afternoon.

When Samuel was told to create his voluntary reactivation code he made it abundantly clear that he would never voluntarily sign on again. Although he and Samuel would rage at each other in private on occasion, Samuel always controlled his emotions if they were in an official capacity. Samuel had always had respect for the position if not the man at that point in their relationship and comported himself appropriately.

But that day was the first and only time Samuel had a total loss of control. Samuel had started to lose control when he read the part about the involuntary special assignments. William heard the anger creep in his voice at the number of years he could be called back but he had remained respectful. Then Merrill told him to create his own personal voluntary reactivation code.

That's when Samuel snapped. He had stood knocking the chair over and shocked Merrill who only stood by and watched as Samuel rounded his desk. William recalled that Samuel had walk within inches of him and rage loudly and harshly directly in his face.

Samuel had told him emphatically in very colorful language that he would only rejoin if hell froze over, which Samuel further articulated in a fire laden voice would never fucking happen. After quickly writing out his code Samuel had stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him and completely shocking his staff in the exterior office. They could not fathom that someone had enough nerve to rage and shout at the General.

Damn, William could still see their stunned faces as he tore open the door in a fury himself. He was ready to bellow at Samuel to return to his office. His staff's faces became baffled and astounded when instead of yelling angrily he had burst out in long, loud, deep, gut splitting laughter after he had glanced at the code Samuel had written: SWB-B23-509-653-hell-just-froze-over.

William was not laughing tonight though. Samuel said he fully understood the consequences of his actions but he could not. Samuel did not and William could not divulge any information to him since he was not active at this time.

General Braddock had only agreed to this reactivation for one reason only; he loved his son too much not to agree.

There was a click as Sutton was finally patched in so he went straight to business "Colonel Sutton, Master Corporal Braddock will be assuming command of the mission. We need clearance for the following civilians to assist Gregory Parker, Edward Tucker Lane, Julianna Callaghan, Michelangelo Scarlatti, Kevin James Wordsworth and Leah Kerns. Additionally, Corporal Russell Kostopoulos is to be temporarily transferred from Captain Blain's command to Braddock's."

["Sir, you're joking right?" Sutton asked totally dumbfounded.]

"No Tom, I am not joking. Samuel voluntarily reactivated to full active duty effective immediately" the General answered with the barest hint of emotion in his voice.

[Hearing his first name and the slight off tone, Tom knew he could drop formality and speak to his friend, not just the General "Christ Will, he vowed never to do that. Sam said hell would have to freeze over. He does understand the consequences and that you have little say, Right?"]

"Yes he does. Well mostly he does, he is not privy to our current situation Tom. I wish I could have re-upped him as a temporary special assignment but you know my hands are tied there. Given the security level it is not a situation that allowed for that. Only complete activation restored his full security level which is needed in this situation" William responded as he raked his hand through his hair.

[Tom paced his office as he replied "Will, they're not going to let him go easily. With all the units down in the last three months we are so short-handed. That terrorist cell has been too active lately. They keep hitting our units hard, so many injured and dead. Whoever is in charge of that cell is a cold-blooded killer. And now with Blain's elite unit nearly wiped out and down for recovery for god knows how long, they are going to keep Sam for the remainder of his contract, if not extend it."]

Frustration laced the General's voice as he nearly growled out to his longtime friend "You don't think I know that? But what else could I do? If I didn't accept, he would have gone rogue. We both know full well he has the means and connections to do that. This is the only way I keep him safe. I couldn't bear to see him pay the consequences for going after this illegally. When he was done he would turn himself in and give a full accounting of his actions and take responsibility."

Deep concern mixed with the frustration as the General continued "Dammit Tom, he would never see another day outside a prison and that would surely kill him. I know it would kill me to see Samuel locked away for murder. Even if it was justified lethal action the courts wouldn't see it that way if he was working this without authorization. This is the only protection I can offer him. Certain actions can be sanctioned under mission and national security protocols."

[Sutton was troubled by the uncommon display of emotion from his friend. But he knew Sam too, the General's conclusions were sound. "Okay Will, I understand. What is it you need me to do? What resources are needed beyond the security clearance you requested?"]

"Let me get Samuel patched in. He knows what he needs." The General signaled his aide through his office window to connect the three.

"Samuel, Colonel Sutton is on the line. What are your needs?" General Braddock asked quickly.

The three of them launched into a discussion of what Sam needed and wanted. There was some wrangling due to certain security level requirements. In the end Sam did not get everything he requested. Although the team would be granted the ability to participate there were things he would not be able to share with them. He understood the need for security but it still galled him because he knew and trusted all of his team.

Just before they hung up Sutton indicated he was on it, would rush the clearances and would contact Sam directly when things were ready. Sam informed them that he and Team One would proceed as they normally would with their current resources until security clearances were complete and they were given access to things he had requested. He knew it would slow them down but it was the best he could do right now.

As the General hung up he blew out a breath. His son was so skilled it still boggled his mind sometimes. It pained him that he was so protective of others that he would put his own life in jeopardy. But he understood, he truly understood.

This was Matt's son. Saving Ben might be the only way Samuel would ever assuage his guilt over Matt's death.

As he rubbed his tired eyes he thought Samuel you stay strong, stay safe, dammit son you better stay alive, no unacceptable risks. William dropped heavily in his chair and laid his head on his arms on his desk and drifted into a light sleep as exhaustion finally overtook him.

Safe House

Sam hung up the phone and wiped the sweat from his forehead with one hand and massaged the tension out of his neck with the other. He wished the access to the databases and satellite feeds could be activated now and wondered just how long it would take to get the necessary clearance. With that Spike could work fast. But for now they only had non-military methods. Spike was still amazing with those but they had so little to go on at the moment.

Emotion tried to well up from its current prison as Sam thought Blaze's whole unit sans Russ was hit. How the hell did this happen? Stomping it back down in favor of logical thinking he stared at the wall contemplating and running through various scenarios.

But his right hand had a mind of its own and clenched into a fist as his focus narrowed into the wall. He pulled back ready to strike out. At the last second before slamming his fist into the brick wall he turned on his heel away from the wall. A broken hand would hamper what he needed to do now. He had to hold it together.

Staring at Blaze's pool of blood in the kitchen and the tracks of it from Jim's shoes out the front door his mind came to the only logical conclusion. They had to have been followed from the farmhouse. Someone had been watching Daphne.

How the hell did six JTF2 unit men and he not sense the danger? His mind screamed 'distraction'. They had all been distracted by the discovery of Ben and the rant between the Blain siblings. This did not bode well. If someone was watching Daphne they already suspected her. He strode from the house.

Sam stopped just outside the front door to allow his eyes to adjust to the glare of the hot, bright sun overhead. The scene was horrible. Sam looked around and saw the true state of the area for the first time really. He had been so focused on his job and then finding Blaze he hadn't taken in the entirety of the scene. Shit it really was a war zone. There were at least twenty covered bodies.

Whoever it was that took Daphy and Ben cared little for human life. Again this did not bode well. The only saving grace was that they wanted them alive, otherwise they would still be here; injured or dead. But with someone like that he knew he needed to find them fast or they would ….

Sam refused to complete that thought. He fixed in his mind, they are alive and we will find them. Time to get to work.

He shook his head a few times to move the war imagery to the background as he unmuted his headset. Sam scanned looking for his team members. He had to talk to Sarge and Ed, tell them what he had just done.

But his eyes landed on Leah first. SIU was closing in on her as she guarded the subjects. Sam realized this was Leah's first lethal with the team and she looked a little lost.

Her shot had saved Daniel's life. He had only been grazed on the side of the head instead of the bullet landing between the eyes because she had reacted quick enough. He strode quickly to her before the SIU agent got to her. He pulled her a little away from the subjects "Leah, you okay?"

Leah looked at Sam a little dazed "Yeah I'm fine."

Sam instantly gave her a hard assessing look.

She saw the look and quickly backtracked "No I mean I'm okay. Not fine, okay." She sighed and smiled a bit as a small chuckle escaped "I laughed so hard when Spike explained to me what fine means to this team. Gonna be a hard habit to break."

Sam smiled at her. He remembered how hard it was to integrate with the team when he was the rookie. They both had it tough joining Team One. He because of the unusual way he ended up on the team, they did not chose him, he was forced on them. They didn't exactly like that.

And Leah, although chosen, she was a replacement for someone they all cherished and missed deeply. It would be hard for her too. He hoped after this mission was over the decision would allow him to return quickly to the team so he could be here to help her ease into the team.

He remembered his first lethal with the team and said "Has Ed had a chance to go over the SIU procedure with you?"

Leah shook her head and said "No said we would go over it later this week. He wasn't expecting to put me in the position for lethal until next week. But this ..." she waved her arm at the scene. "This was unexpected."

Ed's head had snapped up and whipped around to find Leah and Sam when he heard the conversation. Silently he chided himself for failing to prepare a rookie again for the SIU process. He was still pissed off at what had happened to Sam because he failed to explain the process and his rights to him.

He was about to say something when he heard Sam say "Okay, three important points to remember. One they will bag and tag your clothes, everything except the bare minimum."

Sam read surprise on her face. He smiled and nodded. "Yeah a bit embarrassing; since this is your first time they will have a pair of sweats and t-shirt for you. In the future you can store a set of your own clothes at SIU in case needed. Secondly, you have the right to make a phone call to family. Lastly, you have the right to a lawyer."

"You do not have to say a word until he or she arrives. I suggest you follow that rule, SIU can be tough on us. If you don't already know one or don't want whoever they assign I have the name of a good lawyer. Dale Gibbson is the best. He will always have your back and be in your corner. I guess that is all for now. Any questions on the process?"

Leah looked at him and said "No, I guess not."

Sam noticed that the dazed look had not completely cleared. "Leah, is this the first time you have had to take a life?"

Leah nodded her head yes and said a bit shaky "As a firefighter people died when I couldn't get to them but I was never the one that caused it outright. Yeah it's the first time I've deliberately killed someone."

Sam put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close as a few tears threatened to spill from her eyes. The rest of the team all stopped their actions and looked over at the two. They all knew what she was going through, they had all dealt with the first time. It never got easier but that first time could be gut wrenching. It would be hard for her to hold it together over the next few days.

"Leah, Ed and I will be your primary contacts for the next seventy-two hours. You can call us anytime night or day to talk. We will always answer. Jules will be there for you too if you need to talk to a woman" Sam told Leah.

Leah nodded pulling herself together and swiped at the unshed tears clearing her eyes "Thanks Sam."

Sam grinned and said "Anytime. Team One is always there for each other."

They all silently acknowledge the truth of Sam's words as they got back to work.

Leah saw the SIU agent closing in and said "So do I go with them now?"

As he was walking toward them Ed realized that he was proud of the way Sam handled that. Sam was going to make a damned good TL someday maybe even a Sergeant given some time. He had all the right skills and they were slowly smoothing all the hard Army edges off of him.

Sam was also making good progress in negotiations but it still was not his strong suit. Hell it wasn't his either. Ed could do it but like Sam preferred the tactical side. Both were necessary for a team to function well.

Ed arrived just as the SIU agent told Leah and Sam they had to come with him. He had overheard the agent's name as he had introduced himself to them so Ed interrupted and said "Agent Mankle, we are still engaged in a hot call. Precedence states hot calls and team safety in the field trump SIU interviews. So Kerns, Braddock and Wordsworth will stay with the team for now. We will make them available to SIU when we are finished."

Mankle was not pleased "And who are you?"

Ed raised his eyebrow, pulled himself to his full height and crossed his arms across his chest "I am Ed Lane, Team Leader of Team One. If you need I can pull Sergeant Parker over to verify what I said but he is engaged in critical interviews at this time. Probably won't be too happy with you if I do that."

Agent Mankle looked at the intimidating man and said "But this is no longer within SRU jurisdiction. I was just informed by my superior that it is now in the hands of JTF2. It is under their jurisdiction. So your team is off call. It is JTF2's responsibility to clean up this mess. As it should be, they are accountable for all but three of the dead bodies lying around. They sure like to kill don't they?"

Ed saw the rage light in Sam's eyes and his fists clench. He grabbed Sam's sleeve and swiftly hauled him away before he did something he regretted. As he was forcefully dragging him away Ed said "Sam calm, he's an idiot, he doesn't realize the situation and is spewing crap. Calm down now that's an order."

They were about fifty feet from where they started when Ed stopped. Sam looked at him as his fists unclenched and the fire banked in his eyes "Thanks Ed." Ed nodded to him but Sam continued "But sorry Ed, as far as orders go, I think I'm the one that will be giving them now."

Ed looked at him confused "Sam, what do you mean by that?"

Sam shifted slightly from foot to foot. He was not looking forward to the rage that would surely come. He had wanted to tell Sarge and Ed together. Sarge would keep Ed in line. But here he was and he needed to set the chain of command and ownership of the scene straight for Ed. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to say something when a hand landed on his shoulder.

Greg had heard and seen what was transpiring and had hurried over at Sam's last statement. He came up behind Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder and said "Sam, Ed, play nice."

He looked between both men. Christ they were forged from the same steel. Shape and form different but the core was very much the same. He was lucky to have two such men on his team.

Greg would be sad when it was time to let Sam go and lead his own team. He was near hitting that glass ceiling right now. That's why he and Ed had decided to allow Sam to take on TL duties on occasion.

They worried it might not be enough and he would leave outright someday. Sam's comment worried him now because Holleran had just informed him the same thing as the agent had said. This was now out of their jurisdiction.

Calmly Greg said "Sam you look like you need to tell us something."

Sam relaxed when he realized it was Greg. He tried for calm and steady and at least managed the calm part as he said "Yes I do. The agent is right. The scene is in JTF2 hands now." He hesitated before he added "I am in charge of the unit that will be handling it from here forward."

Ed's gut twisted and clenched. He responded mostly calm but concern edging into his voice "You mean they temporarily activated you for a special assignment?"

Sam replied quickly wanting to get it over with "Not exactly."

Ed yelled "What the hell do you mean not exactly? How can you be in charge if they didn't …" His words trailed off as realization hit him "GOD DAMMIT SAM, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO IT?"

Greg was at a loss, he saw from Sam's face whatever Ed said the two were on the same wave length. He shook Sam's shoulder gently until he turned away from Ed and looked to him and asked calmly "Sam, what did you do?"

He saw a look of sadness cross Sam's face before a soldier mask slipped firmly in place. Greg drew a sharp breath in as Sam said "What I had to do to save Ben."

Greg had to give Ed credit after the initial rage he was holding himself together and remained quiet to hear Sam's response but the fury was flowing off him in waves. Greg said in the same calm voice "And what would that be Sam?"

Sam looked directly at Ed when he replied "I gave up my life for Ben's. Team One is Ben's only hope. Team One will treat this as a rescue call not a retrieval mission. Big difference." He switched to looking at Sarge "The only way Team One could be involved was to voluntarily reactivate to Full Active Duty."

Jules', Wordy's and Spike's sharp gasps and shouts of "No" could be heard by not only the team via the headsets but everyone on scene. Likely even the dead could hear Spike's angry yell. Many startled faces looked at them.

Leah stared stunned silent, she didn't know the details but she could grasp the severity of what he had just done by the team's reaction to the news.

Greg was speechless by Sam's words. His mouth opened and closed several times trying to get something to come out. Ed was the first to speak. How Ed had contained his rage and spoke so coolly Greg would never know.

Ed was reeling inside. He wanted to both beat the crap out of Sam and congratulate him for the decision he had just made. It was a war he pushed way down and sealed tight for now. He understood the reason Sam had made the choice. Rescue meant getting someone back alive. Retrieval meant getting a body back, not necessary and usually not likely alive. Sam had to save Ben. Ed knew that Sam would die inside, and quite possibly literately too, if he didn't get that kid back alive. Sam needed the team's help now.

So Ed said evenly and all business "Samo what is your plan? How are you going to proceed to get Ben and Daphne back? How can the team help?"

Sam looked to Ed slightly stunned but extremely grateful "For now we need to proceed as we would any normal abduction call. I'm waiting for clearance for you all. Additional resources will be able when they are completed."

He didn't voice it but his tone was clearly understood by all. Sam was counting on them. Sam needed them to do what they did best so they could save Ben and Daphne.

Ed said "Copy that." Then he placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, squeezed and said with a small smirk "So what do I call you now? Boss?"

Sam smiled and said "Nah, just Sam." He looked to Greg and said "Sarge is always the Boss. So Boss do we have anything yet?"

Greg shook his head no "They are very tight lipped. A few are speaking in a language we don't understand; something Middle Eastern. They will not speak to Jules at all. Just stare at her with disdain like she is beneath them. Sticks in my craw men can be so stupid."

Sam laughed "Yeah well, if they only knew our Jules. Maybe we should let her at one of ..."

That was as far as he got. Sam, Ed and Greg ran flat out towards the group of subjects. One had worked his hands free and was making a run for it with Jules and Leah hot on his tail. He didn't get far.

Leah dove at the man and grabbed his feet and knocked him down. Jules was on him and wrestling to subdue him. He threw several punches and none hit their mark. Jules returned with solid hits. Leah and Jules had the man pinned to his stomach and cuffed by the time the guys reached them.

The subject was spewing what sounded to Jules to be a string of curses as she knelt on his back with her full weight to hold him in place.

Ed chortled as he said "Nice tackle Leah. Jules I see your right hook is in great form today."

Sam and Ed hauled the man up. The man was still spewing words. Sam listened carefully. He laughed. Damn his Farsi was way too rusty to put together exactly what the man was saying but he had a good grasp of curse words.

Greg saw Sam's attentiveness to the man and then the laughter as if he understood. Did he? Sam just might, especially given where he was stationed. Maybe this would give them an edge.

He stopped walking and said "Sam, I need to talk to you privately."

Sam stopped and Leah took over holding the man's arm as they continued back to the holding area.

"What ya need Boss?" Sam asked.

"Do you know what language he was speaking?" Greg asked.

"Yeah, Farsi. I'm way out of practice, really rusty, but I understood the curse words. It was mostly what he was saying. It wasn't my primary assigned language mine were Pashto and Uzbek." Dawning hit Sam and he smile broadly. "I get it; they might give us details in their language without realizing it. Wish I wasn't so rusty with it. Maybe we could get a translator here."

Then he saw Russ heading towards him all business. He must have been told Sam thought. "Hang on Boss. Hey Russ, over here."

Russ picked up speed and trotted to Sam "Sir?"

Sam shook his head "First drop the Sir. Sam or Blondie whatever you're more comfortable with will do." Russ nodded. "Second, do you speak Farsi?"

Russ looked to Sam, his initial questions about what the hell was going on and why was he reporting to him, quickly put aside he answered "Yeah, Farsi is my primary, got a little Turkmen and Uzbek also. Been meaning to learn Pashto too, just haven't had time."

Sam smiled and patted his back "Great, just the man we need. Let's get you a headset. We need you to stand near the subjects and listen in. They are speaking among themselves in Farsi. We might get a lead. If you hear anything useful let us know covertly. I have Blaze's phone. I will be giving Winds' to Spike. Text both of them with anything that might be useful; names, locations, dates, etc. You know the drill."

Russ nodded and said "Willco" as they started toward the command truck to get a head set. When Greg veered off to go back to the subjects Russ stopped Sam and said with a barely perceptible quiver in his voice "Blondie, how was Blaze? Hal and Daniel I'm pretty sure are going to be okay. Angus is real bad from what I could see in the perch. Winds took one in the shoulder I think, but probably not bad. But I didn't see Blaze. It has to be bad for him not to go after Ben and Daphy."

Sam looked to the man who was near his age but still seemed so young. Although Russ, Daniel, Hal and Angus had all joined with Winds and Blaze at the same time Russ was considered the kid, the rookie of the unit because he was the youngest with least field experience.

He could see Russ was hurting and trying very hard to hold it together. Russ had watched as his whole unit was hit. "Russ you know Blaze; hard as a rock and stubborn as a mule. I won't lie to you, it is bad. He lost a lot of blood. But the injuries themselves shouldn't do him in. Have faith he will keep fighting. That they all fight. You did well. Blaze would be proud of your actions today. Thank you for protecting all of them."

Sam patted him on the back then pulled him in for a quick one armed hug.

Russ smiled wanly at him. He could see why Blaze and Winds admired him. Then he just had to know and he asked "So what's up with this? Is this just a temporary assignment for you?"

Sam grimaced slightly and said "At this point I'm not really sure what happens after. Let's just focus on what we have to do right now. And for now we need intel; I need your ears. My Farsi is too rusty to be of much use other than لعنتی, دمار از روزگارمان درآورد and گه."

Russ smiled and snorted out loud "So basically you remember damn, fuck and shit."

Sam grinned and nodded as they continued to the truck; it was good that Russ smiled. Now he had a job to focus on that would take his mind off worrying about his unit. A job that might just give them a clue where to start looking.

White Moving Van Enroute to Destination – Inside Back

Blinking her eyes Daphne was starting to come around. Her head hurt badly and it pounded and throbbed with every movement. Things were hazy but she did realize she was laying on something hard, wood maybe, and she was definitely moving. The rocking of the vehicle as it made a turn was a dead giveaway. Where was she? What was the last thing she remembered?

She bolted up to a sitting position and waves of dizziness and nausea assaulted her. She needed to gulp in breaths to stem the feelings. But there was something crammed in her mouth and duct tape wrapped fully around her mouth and head. She did her best by dropping her head and breathing through her nose.

As she struggled to get her bearings only one thought raced through her mind Ben? Where was Ben? His screams for Blaze to save him was the last thing she remembered. As her vision cleared she saw six men glaring at her. Hearing was just starting to recover, there was still a slight ringing. She wanted to yell for Ben but couldn't.

Her hands and feet were bound with duct tape. At least her hands were taped together in front and not behind her, better for movement. Daphne frantically searched the darkened space. Her eyes finally landed on a small bundle in the far back corner. Her heart shattered into a million tiny shards. Her baby. Her little sweet Ben was curled up as tight as he could get in the corner.

The bastards had bound his hands and feet too. Oh god my little boy. He had his eyes tightly closed. Daphne could see the scrunched forehead. He was awake but afraid to look.

She had to do something to let him know she was awake and alright. She could feel the blood dripping down the side of her face. That probably scared him so much. She lifted her legs and pounded her feet on the floor of the vehicle making the only sounds she could at the moment. She kept her eyes on Ben.

Ben slowly opened his eyes when he heard the banging. He saw his mommy. She was looking right at him. He whimpered out "Mommy I'm ascared."

Oh god she wanted to hold him, tell him it was all going to be okay. She tried to communicate that with her eyes alone. He tried to scoot to her and was roughly pushed back to his corner.

"Mommy, mommy, I want my mommy" Ben wailed loudly as crocodile sized tears streamed from his eyes.

The men just laughed. Tears were running unstrained down Daphy's face. Oh god how could she have ever been so irresponsible, so reckless. She should have left when she found out she was pregnant.

She tried to scoot to him. She had to comfort him. Blackness engulfed her as the large fist connected with her jaw. She did not hear Ben screaming at the top of his lungs.

Nor did she see when two men forcefully held his trashing little body down as a third taped his mouth shut then brutishly tossed him whimpering back into the corner. If she had, every single one of the men would have known by her look that they were dead men; that no matter how long it took she would kill them all.

Safe House

Sam had outfitted Russ with a headset he had retrieved from inside the truck a little over thirty minutes ago. Everyone was on task working different angles for information. Greg was questioning one subject at a time with Leah acting as his protection and as guard of the subject given his penchant to run.

Russ along with four uniform officers were acting as guards on the other four. EMS had treated their wounds, none required transport to hospitals. Russ had been listening to their chatter ever since. So far nothing of use had been said.

Jules had moved off to question all the bystanders that had attended the picnic several houses down. So far she had only gotten details they already knew. She had tons of people to interview and was steadily making it through them. She was a bit frustrated by the lack of usable information.

Most were too drunk to even realize that a firestorm had taken place a few houses down. She finally called over two uniformed officers when she had to keep fending off drunken advances from several frat boys. The idiots were impeding her process and Sam needed her to move quickly and gather information now.

When this was all over she would have to talk to Sam. He made a hard choice today, one she knew he did not want to make. She had overheard several heated arguments between Sam and his dad on the subject of him reactivating. Whatever Daphne knew had to be important for JTF2 to take over on home soil.

Jules knew Sam did the only thing he could do to help Ben. Her heart hurt for Sam and what she really wanted to do was hold him and tell him it would be okay. But she had to hold it together so she walked up to the young mother holding a baby and started to question her.

Spike was busy in the command truck trying to locate any of the three vehicles via traffic cams but coming up empty. Sam had given him Winds' phone to watch for any info from Russ but there had been none so far. He was also reviewing the video footage from the safe house cameras looking for anything that might help identify the subjects or vehicles.

He shook his head as he thought how the hell could there be so many blind spots? This tech was so outdated, ten years if not more. No way in hell he would call it a safe house.

The images of Angus and Daniel getting hit followed by Daphne being struck and knocked out cold just displayed on the monitor. That was hard to watch. But it was nothing compared to the next scene that came up.

As Spike watched he was glad of small favors, it did not have sound. Because Spike was sure his dreams would be haunted by the sound of a little boy screaming in terror.

Spike could barely stomach watching the video of little Ben being snatched and the terror in his eyes as he watched Angus grab his bleeding stomach and fall to the ground. The image of Ben's little face with his mouth wide open could only be him screaming in terror as his little arms stretched out in front of him reaching for his mom while a man yanked him from her.

He had to stop the video and turn away. Spike was falling apart watching that and needed to gather himself together. He usually had a cast iron stomach but he felt like he needed to vomit.

Sam, Ed and Wordy walked to the command truck drenched in sweat from efforts over the past half hour. They were trying to clean their bloody hands on small towels. Wordy opened another bottle of water and took a long drink then poured some over Ed's, Sam's and his hands and they wiped them on the towels again. Wordy stared at his hands, he really needed to get all this off his hands, the sight of it sickened him.

He glanced at Sam. He looked stoic. Wordy wondered just how many times Sam had to do that during his tours. He shuddered a bit at the thought and said "That is a job I just can never quite stomach. I cannot believe that not a single one of them were carrying any sort of identification."

The three had checked all the dead men looking for anything that would give them a clue as to who they were dealing with. Rolling them over and checking every pocket. Checking for tattoos or other marking that might be useful for Spike to search on. Nothing, absolutely nothing found.

Ed replied "Yeah, don't think anyone could ever get used to that. Let's give these to Spike to start running through photo recognition programs."

He opened the door to the command truck intending to give Spike his PDA to upload all the photos of the dead men. Ed, Sam and Wordy heard retching. Ed quickly entered and found Spike on his knees over the waste can in the command truck.

Being first in Ed saw the image the video was stopped on. He tried to stop Sam from entering but was too late. Sam saw the frozen image of Ben. His heart stopped, literally stopped beating, he could not breathe.

Wordy was right behind Sam and was last to see the image. Instantly it brought to mind the image of Sam as a nine year old boy. In the next instant Wordy was holding up Sam who had staggered backwards and started to collapse onto him.

Ed moved to help and they guided Sam to one of the chairs. All color had washed from his face as his eyes locked on the image. Ed quickly flicked off the screen.

Wordy pushed Sam's head down between his knees and urgently said "Breathe Sam, just breathe. Come on take a breath in." He finally heard a ragged intake of breath by Sam and his own breathing finally eased slightly too.

Ed had gone to Spike and knelt down as best as possible in the cramped space. He handed him a water bottle when the retching stopped. "Here, rinse your mouth buddy." Then Ed pulled the chair around and when Spike was done rinsing his mouth Ed helped him to the chair.

Spike glanced at the monitor and saw it was blank now. Then he registered Sam's position. Spike looked up to Ed "He saw?"

Ed nodded yes.

Spike closed his eyes but quickly reopened them because the image was burned into his mind. Ever since they had found out Sam had voluntarily reactivated, a part of Spike had been pissed at Sam for going back to the Army, for choosing to leave him and the team. But his own reaction to the video and seeing Sam's reaction wiped all anger at Sam's decision completely away.

Sliding from the chair Spike knelt in front of Sam "Buddy, were going to get him back. Ben is going to be okay."

Sam looked up at Spike's words. He could see the horror he felt inside clearly reflected in Spike's wide open eyes. Sam nodded slowly. Sam found his voice "Let me know if you get any hits on the photos."

Spike nodded.

Sam felt the sudden need to be away from where he had seen the image so he stood and quickly exited the truck, pushing roughly passed Wordy. Ed gave the PDA to Spike and followed.

Wordy sat heavily in the chair Sam had just vacated. That image was heart breaking. He rubbed the towel trying to clean the remaining blood off his hand. He stopped and stared at them. He feared that given half a chance he might not go home with clean hands today. A part of him wanted to kill every single one of the men that terrorized that child.

He looked up to Spike who was already uploading the photos "Spike you okay buddy?"

Spike looked at Wordy. There was a hard glint in Wordy's eyes he'd never seen before. It scared him a bit. Spike cleared his throat. "I'm just as okay as we all are which is just fine. But we got work to do. Sam and Ben are counting on us."

Ed had followed Sam out of the truck and saw he had stopped under a tree facing it with his fist clenched. Crap. He walked quickly but trying not to draw attention. When he reached Sam he cleared his throat to let Sam know he was there.

He knew that in soldier mode Sam could be dangerous if surprised. Ed gently turned Sam to him. Then he reached out and turned off both of their headsets completely giving them privacy and eliminating the distraction of the others words in their ears.

They looked at each other for a several seconds before Ed finally asked "Samo are you truly okay right now?"

Sam dropped his head and rubbed his temples. He stayed that way for a minute or so. Then he sighed and looked back up at Ed. There was a deep trust that had been built between the two over the past years.

So he replied "Honestly, I'm not in the best place right now. I'm really trying to hold it together and make appropriate decisions. I have to do my job. There is too much at stake."

Ed looked long and hard at him a bit surprised Sam was being so frank.

Sam saw the surprise but continued "Ed, I did what I did to stay legal. To as Wordy put's it, do it with clean hands. I could have gone rogue. I truly considered it. I have the contacts and the resources to do that. But in the end, doing it the right way won out. I wanted to get Ben and Daphy back the right way."

A hard, dangerous edge filled Sam's eyes as his body went rigid "But after that image, god help me Ed. Right now I could kill every last one of those bastards and not bat an eye."

Ed had no doubt that Sam had the resources if need be. He quickly reviewed Sam's actions and behaviors on the call so far. He could find no fault. Hell he even had presence of mind to ensure Leah was squared away with her first lethal. He provided Spike with a potential means of information. He helped Russ pull it together. Sam was in pain he could see that but he had handled it well so far.

"Sam, I trust you to do it right. You are a good man. We all have a breaking point though." Ed stated. Then he asked with genuine concern "Are you at that point now?"

Sam considered Ed's words. Where was he really on the scale of right and wrong? Could he hold it together? He looked squarely at Ed and finally replied "Right now I can still do my job. I can stay within protocol."

Ed nodded then reached out and placed both hands on Sam's shoulders and shook him slightly. Then he said seriously "Okay, you stay on the job. But I need your word that if you find yourself beyond your capacity to handle the situation and become a risk to yourself or the team you will give me a signal, a special word or something. It can be something solely between us and I will help you. I will do whatever is necessary to help you do it the right way, keep your hands clean. Do I have your word?"

Sam looked at the man he admired. They had gotten off to a very rocky start. They still argued about things. But he knew without a doubt he could trust him. He had the ability to reach him when no one else could.

Ed could be his safety line today. Ed would ensure he did not cross the line and become a murderer. Sam placed his arms on Ed's shoulders in the same manner. "Yes, you have my word. I trust you to help me. If I reach that point I'll say cats." Then Sam smiled at Ed.

Ed laughed and pulled Sam into a quick hug then released him and slapped his back "Cats, you had to pick cats. Damn Samo you have a wicked sense of humor."