Some Explosions Are Necessary

Six Weeks Later – SRU HQ – Briefing Room

It was a sullen, disconnected group of people that were gathered in the briefing room. Leo Patel the newest rookie on Team One stood at the entrance of the room completely disheartened. Team One was supposed to be the team to strive for or so he had been told. But the team he had been a part of for the past three weeks was nothing like he had expected or been led to believe.

When it was announced there was an opening on the team, his new boss at Toronto Metro Police said he should try for it. He said that SRU could use his skills since they were replacing a sniper position. Most of the job sounded like something he could do, the part of negotiation he wasn't so sure but his boss said they would help with that. They were Team One after all.

So he applied thinking it would be nice to use his sniper skills again. They were a bit rusty with disuse in the past five years. By everything everyone told him he had been looking forward to the selection process and meeting the team. But Team One was off duty for some reason so Team Five had run the trails and selected him for them.

His first day on the team was their first day back after three weeks off. Leah had been nice enough and welcoming but the others did not give him the time of day. In the past three weeks they weren't rude per se and treated him professionally for the most part but they refused to open up in any way.

They were all closed off. They didn't ask any questions about him or try to get to know him in any way, shape or form. They didn't talk much to one another either. They only gave succinct and curt answers to each other.

It made calls awkward and sometimes made things go sideways. He had heard they were so in synch that they could predict what the others needed. Leo hadn't seen any of that.

Leo had also been told that the team laughed a lot; that they joked around all the time. But his TL, Ed and the tech/bomb guy Spike never spoke to one another unless absolutely necessary. Frequently he had noticed that one or the other would glare daggers at the other's back. It was like they blamed each other for something.

The bomb call last week had been awful. Those two had argued so long and heatedly about whether Spike would go in and disable it that the bomb in the donation box exploded. He was damned glad no one was hurt. But those two, Christ that was no way to work, no unity, that would get someone killed one day.

The other teams had said that Wordy would intercede and play peacemaker when troubles began. But all Leo saw was an angry man. He usually sat clenching and unclenching his fists looking like he wanted to punch something. If he was not doing that he would just stare out the window.

Yesterday Leo saw Wordy go to the small table in the corner of the briefing room and swipe the entire chessboard of pieces to the floor. It had looked like someone was mid game; they would not be happy when they saw that. So, Wordy was not so much peacemaker in Leo's eyes.

Jules the negotiator, profiler and sniper lost her cool a lot. She would get irate at the drop of a hat. He gave her wide berth and never practiced combat skills with her since she had nearly wrenched his shoulder out of joint his first week here.

She never hit him but it sure the hell looked like she wanted to. Jules, Spike, Wordy and Ed were very angry people. She and Ed always argued over whether she was the sniper for a call. She always insisted, he always denied. That confused him that she always asked, wasn't he hired to be the sniper. Strange, very strange.

Leo had heard her negotiation skills were very good and intuitive. But all he saw was someone that wanted to be the one in the sniper position. She seemed not to care about the negotiations and profiling side. She did it but never seemed happy about it even when she talked someone down; which she normally did. Those rare times she wasn't successful she became even more sullen.

In fact, she had completely lost it after a call earlier this week where she couldn't get through to a soldier and he jumped from the overpass and committed suicide because he was ordered to go back to Afghanistan. She had actually run away from the scene. None of the guys went after her and told him to just leave her alone when he wanted to follow.

When they got back to the barn they found her beating the heavy bag nearly to death. The guys just walked away and didn't even intercede or say anything to her. It was bizarre to watch. They cared so little that their team mate was upset by the death. He had tried to say something but she had ignored him completely.

The Sarge was the worst. He just looked desolate most the time. Like someone had blown his life a part. He tended to just defer to whatever the TL suggested in a call and let the TL take over.

Leo wasn't sure what was up with that. The other teams seemed to have strong leaders who had no problems making decisions. From what he saw, it looked like Team One didn't have one.

So very different from what he was expecting by accounts he heard. This man was supposed to be great, hell Parker wrote the manual he had read on negotiations. But Leo saw none of that man in his time here. Parker was completely disconnected from the team and as a result there was no cohesion in the team.

Leah although nice at first didn't say much either but she was essentially as new as he was. Probably was as disillusioned with the team as he was. He thought they would have that in common at least and bond.

But she looked sad often like something treasured had burnt to the ground and would never be again. She kept to herself and rarely offered any input at all. It was like she didn't really exist on the team.

Leo had only transferred from the Vancouver Metro Police to the Toronto Police two months ago. He didn't know the team but many people had talked about Team One being so good because they were a tight knit team and always had each other's backs.

That's not what he saw.

The team was apathetic at best and fractious at worst. Maybe it was the loss of two team members in the span of two and a half months was enough to destroy the team everyone had lauded. They had lost one to death and one to reasons he didn't know.

Leo did know that the one who died was named Lewis Young and he was killed by a landmine explosion; he had a plaque in the locker room. They talked about him once or twice. Leo saw they wore bracelets with the guy's name and badge number on them.

Spike had a habit of twisting it around and rubbing the name when he thought no one was watching. Dale from Team Five had said Spike and Lou were very good friends. Understandable they all still missed him.

But the other guy, the one he replaced, no one talked about at all. He was just here one day and gone the next from what little he could gather. Leo had tried to find out what happened.

Maybe try to build a connection with a new team that way. But no one, not even the other teams wanted to talk about it. Other teams either ignored his questions completely or told him to ask his own team.

Leo had done a little research of his own and he thought it might have something to do with that huge explosion and mass killing six weeks ago. The timing was about right. The details were sketchy but he knew that Team One was somehow involved by little tidbits dropped here and there by his team and Team Five.

The news had a field day with a mass killing at a house and then the explosion that day. Although most of it was totally wild speculation, no real information was ever reported. The news portrayed the mass killing as a lone deranged person with an automatic weapon that started firing at a party and they blamed the explosion on a gas leak.

But there were a few amateur videos on the web showing the Army at the scene of the mass killing and Army helo's flying near the explosion. They had since been removed like they never existed.

He saw them so he knew the news reports on those incidents were a crock of bullshit, as it usually was. He was well aware of how the Army covered things up. It was most likely terrorist related but the military would never report that and scare the civilians. Civilians never knew how close the threats really were. He just wondered why SRU would be involved with something of a military nature.

But even that didn't explain why the guy left so suddenly. It was so weird that no one ever said his name or even acknowledged he had existed. Leo wondered what the guy had done to be hated so badly that no one would even mention his name, he thought it was Sam.

It must have been something unforgivable given they acted like he didn't even exist. Maybe he betrayed them. Maybe he was a complete jerk and had crossed the line somehow. Maybe they were just glad to be rid of him and wanted bad memories gone. But he knew he would never know, leastwise not directly from the team.

Leo learned his lesson the hard way to never ask about that Sam guy after the final time he had tried to find why he was gone was last week. The reactions clearly told him the team would never tell him.

He, Wordy, Spike and Ed were changing for workout. When he had asked 'So what did that Sam guy do that was so bad you guys can't stand to talk about him. I mean if you won't talk about him he must have been a real SOB or a worthless piece of shit. Did he fail to watch your backs, did he fuck up and get an innocent killed or did he kill someone?'

His TL had flown into a rage and rammed him into a locker before he had even finished his last sentence. Ed was less than an inch from his face when he bellowed telling him to 'mind his own god damned business'. By the look in the TL's eyes he had really thought he was dead.

Spike and Wordy both glared at him too like 'how dare he say his name'. Ed and Wordy had stormed off. He had followed them out of the room and saw Wordy punching furiously on the heavy bag. Ed was nowhere to be seen but he heard the door to the roof slam.

All that anger directed at one man. They clearly would never talk about him. Leo thought to where he was cut off. Ed went ballistic when he said did he kill someone. He wondered if maybe the guy was responsible for all those deaths at the house.

Maybe he snapped and was that lone deranged person. Police snapped sometimes, that could be a reason. If so maybe they couldn't forgive him?

Leo laughed at himself and thought, man talk about wild-assed speculations. He might make a good TV reporter if he kept this up. He dropped the thought. Whatever the reason was they couldn't stand to hear his name so he stopped trying to figure it out.

After following Ed and Wordy out, Leo had realized he had forgotten his towel so had gone back into the locker room. He had found Spike with his head and hand on a locker, much like he had found him doing to Lou's locker on occasion.

When Spike noticed him watching, Spike sped out of the locker room and wasn't seen for two hours. Spike later claimed he was working on Babycakes but his knuckles were raw and his eyes looked puffy when he returned. It was peculiar to say the least.

After shift that day he had gotten curious about the locker. It wasn't assigned to anyone but it was locked. He had tried to open it his first day because it was in the same row as the rest of the team. But it was locked and someone from Team Five had only said, pick another one. He had been around long enough to meet all of the other teams and it was no one's locker. Why was it locked and why was Spike leaning on it?

When everyone was gone he went into the locker room and looked at it. It seemed ordinary like all the others. He sat on the bench and stared a bit when he saw a very tiny slip of paper sticking out from the vent where Spike's hand had been. He couldn't get it with his fingers so he grabbed a pin from the bulletin board and worked it out. It read 'I know you did it for Ben'. It was an odd note.

Since that day he had watched and seen each and every one of the team covertly touch the locker at some point, even Jules. He saw a few members from other teams do the same thing. He could see that little slips of paper were piling up on the bottom.

It was beyond weird and he was tempted to pick the lock and read them. But then he refrained thinking maybe it was an SRU ritual that no one had shared with him yet. Like a burn box, where you wrote down a thought you wanted to release and put it in the box. When the box was full you would burn it. Maybe this was the SRU's burn box of sorts.

He sighed looking at the team in the briefing room. He didn't understand this team and they clearly didn't care if he did or not. Leo felt completely unwanted by them, maybe if they had done the selection it would be different. But this team truly had some real issues and was totally dysfunctional.

Well to be honest, it wasn't really a team with the way they treated each other. They were just disconnected parts. He had no clue what had unglued them, probably never would and quite frankly he was tired of trying. He only knew that it was not what he expected and not what he wanted.

Leo looked down at the file in his hand. Yeah he was gonna do this. He couldn't take being with such a screwed up team anymore. He was leaving SRU and returning to the Army. They were offering a special recall package for anyone who wanted to return to Special Forces. He had been out for nearly five years but he still qualified.

He thought he would never go back, but, yeah the Army was actually a better fit for him. It was more black and white were you just had bad guys and you dealt with them one way only.

Leo hated the desert but anything would be better than staying with this team really. Hey maybe that is why the Sam guy left, maybe he couldn't put up with their crap either. Leo missed the camaraderie in a SF unit. You knew they always had your back unlike with this team.

One deep breath, all he had to do was tell the Sarge and the team today. He had already talked to the Commander. Holleran had tried very hard to talk him out of it and to give the team a chance. Heck the Commander had an almost sick look in his eye when he told him that the reason he was leaving was he was returning to SF and that he was going to tell the team today.

He wasn't sure what Holleran's look meant. He was really crappy at reading people. He tried but six out of ten times he was usually wrong. That was probably another really good reason to go back to the military; no need to do that there. In the military all he had to do was follow orders and just point and shoot. He was really good at that.

The Commander told him to wait until after shift because the team would be starting a three day off rotation. It would give them time to process the news before returning to work. He had almost snorted when the Commander said that.

Like this team would even care or notice he left. Leo had planned to stay on for the two weeks after notice but the Commander said it would be better to just tell then go. He would give him paid vacation. He thought sweet, some time to take a quick trip before reporting to the base.

Team Five had just left for a hot call and Team One had just finished debriefing after a relatively quiet shift and he had asked them to wait while he got something from his locker. Everyone but Leah had waited. Leah said she was due at a friend's bridal shower so had left right after debrief was over. He looked down at his file again.

Leo had contemplated how to tell them and thought he would just hand the file to the Sarge and walk out. But the more he had thought about how they treated him and each other the more he wanted to tell them exactly how he felt. With Team Five gone, Team One and Winnie were the only ones in the building.

He decided they would get an earful from him then he would leave. There was no good reason for the way they behaved. Time to tell this uncaring, angry, disconnected, dysfunctional team, adios.

Leo stepped into the briefing room and cleared his throat. "Sarge, I have something I need to tell you. To tell the team."

Everyone looked at him blandly. Greg said flatly "Yes, go on."

He handed Greg the file as he said "I'm giving you the courtesy to tell you I'm leaving. Not that any of you would have even noticed if I didn't show up to the next shift. I don't know what happened to you all. Nor do I really care at this point. No one will talk about whatever happened and I'm tired of being treated like an outsider."

"This is not the team I was led to believe Team One was. You are dysfunctional and at each other's throats. I can't work with a team like that. Hell, you in no way even resemble a team. You are all so caught up in your own angry, pathetic worlds. So I'm leaving effective now. This was my last shift. I've voluntarily reactivated to full duty and rejoined Special Forces."

It was dead silent and they all looked at him blankly. Yep that was what he thought. They were a sullen group that didn't give a damn about anyone. He could be laying on the floor bleeding to death and they'd walk over him and not give him a second glance.

Leo was about to turn and leave knowing he wouldn't even get a goodbye, a good luck, a sorry to see you go or even a don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out comment. Nope silence was what he expected. He dropped his head, closed his eyes and sighed then started to turn.

A cacophony of sounds rent the air as every single one of the team including the Sarge started shouting at once. His eyes burst open wide. Shattered shards flew in every direction as Greg, Wordy and Ed all slammed their ceramic coffee mug onto the table. Three chairs were thrown; Leo dove to the side and ended up on the floor to avoid one. It wasn't necessarily thrown at him he was just in the line of fire.

His wide unbelieving eyes watched as five elite police officers wholly dissolved before his eyes. What the hell had he said to cause this? It was harsh, it was true but this reaction was not what Leo expected.

Ed and Spike were in each other's face and bellowing something about being down range. Hell Ed just pushed Spike and he pushed back. They were finally going to come to blows by the look of it.

Wordy was punching the concrete wall bloodying his fists but not stopping.

Jules had crashed to the floor tears coursing from her eyes as she beat the holy living crap out of the back of one of the overturned chairs.

Sarge stormed back and forth five steps each way rubbing his head and face and yelling something about did it again.

He picked out sounds here and there Sam, bomb, Ben, failed him, voluntary, gone, rebuild, abandoned among a plethora of curse words.

Holy Shit!

Wordy double punched the briefing room glass partition. The shattering noise as the entire plate glass wall crashed to the ground out leveled the volume of the all the shouting. Everyone stopped and looked at Wordy's back.

The silence was just as unnerving as all the ranting and raving. After a few seconds Wordy turned back towards the room towards the team. He looked up from his arms which were bent at the elbows and held out in front of him "Guys, help me."

Wordy started to sink to the floor as all four rushed to him. Ed and Greg guided him into a chair while Spike and Jules each grabbed onto an arm and squeezed tightly. Greg and Ed each whipped out a compression bandage. Greg called out "Winnie, EMS now. Officer with laceration wounds to the arms."

All four worked together to stem the blood from the multiple cuts to his arms. As he was being tended Wordy looked over to Leo with true concern and regret on his face "I'm sorry we screwed up big time." He paused and looked at the four others and said "Again."

They all nodded.

Greg walked over to Leo and offered a hand up to him. Leo took it and stood up, his eyes still wary and said cautiously "What the hell just happened?"

Leo was still so unsettled by their reactions that he went willingly as Greg guided him to a chair and gently pushed him into it.

Greg said "Wordy's right we royally messed up. Please wait while we take care of Wordy. I promise to explain. Will you wait?"

Still shocked Leo only nodded.

He watched as the five of them talked softly. He could not hear them. But it was a complete change of body language than he had seen for the past three weeks.

EMS showed up. "Hey guys, was just down the street a bit when the call came in. My partner is still wrapping up a non-emergency so I thought I'd see…" Jim took in the state of the room, the shattered glass wall and Wordy. "What the hell did you do Wordy?" Jim asked as he set down his kit.

Spike piped up "The glass attacked him."

Jim snorted as he saw the bloody knuckles too "The concrete wall too?"

Spike said "Yeah it didn't like his choice of movie. It wanted to watch Sleeping Beauty again."

Everyone groaned as Spike's attempt at humor fell flat this time.

Jim shook his head; he was pretty sure what really happened. He's been considering doing it for weeks himself but could not afford the time off if he broke his hand when he exploded. He knew it was coming he was just trying to stave it off for now, but it was coming he could feel it rising daily.

It was a pain so deep only anger or complete detachment kept it at bay. He was going for more detachment than anger though. He stayed more often than not in medic mode where feelings didn't touch him. But just the right or wrong word would be the lit match to ignite his explosion.

Jim looked right into Wordy's eyes and said "Sam? Right?"

Wordy said apologetically "Yeah, I got mad. Finally lost control completely."

Jim nodded "Understandable. From the looks of things in here you all did. Been really wanting to myself. I take it you still haven't heard from Sam either."

They all answered loudly with deep frustration and worry "No."

Jim looked at Greg and with the same frustrated inflection in his tone "Damn I was hoping someone had. Neither has Blaze, Winds, Mason or any of his cousins, not even Scott or Jeff. No one knows where he is at. It's like he fell off the face of the earth. Blaze, Winds and Mason have tried everyone and everything they know to locate him. They are pissed at the General. The General refuses to tell anyone Sam's location."

Jules rose now that Jim was working on the arm she had been holding. Leo watched her sadly walk to the window.

She laid her forehead against the window as she said despondently "Sam, we are falling apart without you. I'm falling apart. I need you Sam."

Jules was quiet a moment then she breathed out one soft word imbued with unfathomable longing and need "Sam."

Leo saw as Ed hurried over to her and gently pulled her into a tight hug. She did not resist. She did not strike him. She simply laid her head on his chest and allowed him to hold her.

From across the room Spike said gently with falseness to his optimism "Jules, Sam is going to be okay. Remember, he's Samatastic."

Leo heard Jules begin to sob lightly.

Greg and Spike put their hands on Wordy's shoulders in a gesture of solidarity to try and add credence to Spike's words as they nodded. But all three had shimmering wet eyes as they looked to Ed and Jules across the room. Hell, the shimmering turned to real tears in Spike and they slid unchecked down Spike's face.

Wordy looked up at Spike "Buddy, he'll be back, he's not gone like Lou. Sam wouldn't just leave you, Jules, us. He'll be back when he can."

Spike squatted down, then sat heavily and buried his face in his hands. He broke down. All false bravado left as he cried out in anguish "We don't even know if he survived the knife wounds. Hell he didn't even tell Ed and me about the one in his side."

"He cleared that whole basement bleeding out. Then he jumped on that grenade. Then Mason had to carry him out before we even knew what sort of damage was done. Then the damned building blew, threw him and slammed him to the ground again. We were never told the extent of his injuries. God dammit I know he did it to save Ben but ..." He stopped.

Spike took several shaky breaths his voice switching to anger "The General has said nothing, nothing at all one way or the other. He never returned a single message I left. It's like Sam never existed. I've looked. I've tried to find him. He saved Ben but what about him, who has his back now? What if he is out there and hurt or dying all alone?" His voice cracked and cried out in agony "What if he is dead already and we don't even know it."

At Spike's words Leo noticed that the sobbing increased in Jules. Ed held her more tightly and Ed's eyes appeared to glisten with unshed tears now too. This was too surreal Leo thought. Who the hell are these people? Certainly not the ones I've been with for the past three weeks.

Leo's head pivoted back to the other side as Greg went to Spike, knelt down and held him as he cried. Greg said softly "I'm sure the General would tell us if he didn't make it. You know how much he cares for Sam. He knows what Sam means to us too."

The paramedic spoke up, his voice filled with emotion too "It's been six weeks of hell for all of us. Christ they wouldn't even let Winds or Mason see him at the hospital after surgery. Eight MPs were needed to restrain them, would have needed more but they were weak from their own injuries." There were shocked gasps.

Ed stated "We didn't even know that."

Jim nodded then continued "Yeah that was bad but not as bad as Blaze."

Greg asked "What happened? We have had no word from anyone."

Jim finished wrapping Wordy's knuckles then said "Wordy you're lucky man just lots of cuts but none so deep to require stitches. Keep them clean and dry and they will heal."

Wordy nodded then said "What happened with Blaze?"

Jim stood and they could see he cringed and didn't really want to tell them. He looked at all of them, then reluctantly said "Well, I was there when Jeff told Blaze that Sam reactivated. Blaze raged so much that he scared the holy living crap out of every doctor, nurse and patient on that floor. They called security and he even scared them."

"Jeff and I were sent in to give him the sedative. Everyone else was too frightened. He had ripped out the IV and had tried to stand. But that was impossible given his injuries. That enraged him more."

"I managed to injected the sedative while Jeff held him down. It took nearly three minutes for it to take effect. Blaze raged the entire time. The hospital insisted he remain completely sedated until he was transferred. That took three days until he was stable enough to move."

"Mason told me that when they got him to the base hospital and let him come out of it he raged again. This time he managed somehow to stand. He ripped open nearly all his stitches. They had to keep him in a twilight sleep for nearly a week to ensure he didn't do it again."

"The next time they woke him they had Daphne and Ben in the room. He started to rage but saw Ben and Ben said Unca Sam saved him. Mason said there wasn't a dry eye in that room as Blaze hugged Ben and Daphne."

"But the absolute worst thing is that General came to check on Blaze about a week ago. The General refused point blank to answer a single question about Sam. Blaze was sitting up in bed and the General sat in a chair close by. Blaze raged at the General."

"Then he landed a left and a right punch to the General's face. The General didn't move at all. He sat there and took it as Blaze punched him twice more. After the four punches the General rose and left the room without ever saying anything."

Jim's face showed the deep concern he felt as he concluded "Blaze has not said a single word to anyone since. Not even Ben. He will hold the boy but won't speak. It's very disturbing."

Leo was absorbed watching the changing looks on the teams' faces. Jules had quit crying and pulled away from Ed as the medic had related the story. All were left with incredulous looks.

Ed growled out "What the hell is going on? What the hell is the General doing? Hasn't Sam suffered enough already. You should have seen his eyes when he realized he killed the man that tortured him. He was so very confused. He was so F.I.N.E."

Jim's eyes widened, his jaw slackened, his mouth opened and closed several times before he finally pushed words out "Blondie did what?"

Jim did not believe what he had just heard. Ed relayed to Jim what happened in the tunnel. Jim had righted a chair and sat down his legs to wobbly to hold him upright.

Spike added "His eyes, we all know they speak volumes. Sam was really bothered by something as he looked at the dead man. I'm not sure what it was but it scared me for him. Ed's right Sam was so F.I.N.E."

His voice crackled with emotion as Spike added "I'm afraid the Sam is going to break. That he is going to fall and no one will be there to catch him or hold on. Part of me wonders if maybe that is why the General hasn't said anything. Maybe Sam finally couldn't handle anymore and broke totally and completely."

The entire team, the medic and Leo sat in absolute silence. No one knowing what to say, how to respond to Spike's comment.

Jim stood and walked to the bloody concrete wall and traced where Wordy had hit. His fists clenched tightly as he raised his arms to a punching position. His body was rigid.

Greg walked up to Jim and laid a hand on his shoulder. Ed stood and walked over too followed by Jules, Spike and Wordy. They surrounded Jim.

They dropped to their knees as Jim fell to his and howled loud and long repeatedly "Nooooo."

Greg pulled the man's head to his chest and held him. They closed ranks and huddled around the man with arms slung across each other's shoulders.

Leo wondered what the hell was going on. He must really, really, really suck at reading people. These were not actions of people who hated someone. He reviewed the past three weeks applying this new information.

They cared for this Sam guy. These people were hurting deeply and repressing the feelings. Somehow his words had opened a floodgate tonight and released them all in a blind fury. But which words?

Then as the initial shock of everything wore off little bits and pieces fell into place. He knew these names. It had been a very long time, nearly five years. He knew Blaze, Winds, and Mason by code name only, he never met them but he knew they were JTF2. Christ the General they were talking about had to be General Braddock.

Leo knew the General's son had been held captive and tortured. He was in the base hospital ER getting a cut stitched up when they brought him in that day. From what he had overheard as Dr. Parker had directed his care the General's son had been more dead than alive.

Oh my god that's why the paramedic looked so familiar. He was with him that day. Holy hell that meant the Sam guy he replaced was Sam Braddock, the General's son. He had more questions than answers now. Just what the hell was going on?

Jim had finally quieted but the team had remained in place for over ten minutes no one moving a muscle. Jim finally shifted a bit and raised his totally blood shot, red rimmed, tear filled eyes and looked at all the team. They ended on Wordy.

Wordy broke the silence his voice soft but resolute "If he is broken we will rebuild him again. We did it once. We can do it again."

Jules said softly as she slumped to the floor "But we have to find him first."