Chapter 4
"You're going to pay, Rosaline."
Mother's unmistakable whisper comes to me the moment my eyes shut. I must be sleeping, that's the only reasonable explanation for it. Still, I shudder as my dream turns from the Great Hall to a small, gray cell.
"When I get out, I will find wherever you're hiding and I will kill you, like I should've done when you were born."
She's there in the corner of the cell, leaning against the wall but standing, her posture defiant.
"Mother," I breathe, too terrified to speak properly. She doesn't seem to hear me.
"When I find you, Rosaline, you're going to wish you never got me arrested!"
But… I didn't. I wasn't the one that got her arrested. She would blame that on me, though. She always does. And it never turns out well when she does.
"You better watch out. Because the moment I break out of these chains…" She looks down at the literal chains on her hands, then up again, eyes flashing. "You're dead."
My eyes shoot open and I find myself staring at the ceiling. Wait, that's not right. The bed has a canopy over it. I look around and see that I'm actually lying next to my bed on the floor, not in it. I must have fallen off it during the night. The other girls in the dormitory are starting to stir, so I quickly stand up and throw my blankets back onto the bed. Should I make it, like I used to do to Mother's each morning? No. Never again. I don't care if the bed is made or not and I refuse to bend to her rules even after she's gone.
After all, she's never coming back. She'll never break out of Azkaban, there's no way. Nobody has before. But of course, there's a first time for everything… No, that's no way to think. Even if she breaks out, I'm here, protected by the walls of Hogwarts. Mother will never lay a hand on me again.
/
The moment I step out of the Common Room with Hermione, I realize just how lucky I am to have her as what I think is a friend.
"Um, I think we came from that way last night," I tell her unsurely, pointing down a random corridor.
"No, no, it was definitely this one," Hermione corrects me, then pulls me in the opposite direction. When we get to the Great Hall the two of us sit down next to Harry and Ron, then dish up on sausages and pancakes. I still can't believe how delicious the food is here. Someday I'll have to find the cooks and compliment them. It must be such a task to feed all of the students and teachers.
"So, ickle first years," says a sarcastic voice to my right. Must be one of the Weasley twins. "You ready for your first day?"
"It really isn't that bad," the other twin reassures us. "You get used to Peeves creeping up on you-"
"And Filch breathing down your neck-"
"Not to mention the ghosts flying through you-"
"And the hexes that fly by your face in your hallway," one finishes with a grin. "It's nothing really."
"Well, good luck then!" the other exclaims before they walk farther down the table to meet up with their friend Lee Jordan.
"That's reassuring," I mutter, stirring sugar into my porridge.
"Oh, don't let them bother you," Ron tells me dismissively. "They're just joking around. That's what they're all about."
"Really?" I ask sarcastically. "I didn't notice."
Then the owls arrive. I know I didn't get anything, but it's still so interesting to watch them soar through the Great Hall. One of them drops a newspaper, The Daily Prophet, near Neville Longbottom. I peer over at the front page, then quickly turn my attention back to my breakfast.
It's her, front and center. Mother.
"Wow, look at this!" Neville exclaims, showing the entire table the headline. "The Ministry just revealed that it's arrested another follower of You-Know-Who!"
"Yeah, I heard about that," Ron admits. "My dad told me. Sounds absolutely horrible. I can't believe she didn't get caught for so long."
I can.
/
The first few days pass pretty quickly. Classes are really interesting. I never knew this much about magic. I can't say for certain which is my favorite yet, but I really enjoy Charms and Herbology. There aren't even any major incidents so far, except if you count me setting my desk on fire in Transfiguration.
Okay, so there was one major incident in the first few days. To be fair, we were working with matches. It's not my fault it was set off. I really shouldn't have been around one in the first place.
"What do we have today?" I ask Hermione at breakfast.
"Double Potions with the Slytherins," she replies, not even looking at her schedule. I think she memorized it the first day. Fine by me, I like having a living schedule.
She leads the way to the dungeons, where we end up being the first ones there. After a crowd of Gryffindors and Slytherins joins us and the bell rings, we step inside and get ready for our first Potions lesson.
Like most lessons, Potions starts with Snape taking attendance. Unlike the Sorting, my name is actually in its proper place this time.
"Rosaline… Laetus," Severus Snape calls, pausing at my strange last name. I raise my hand quietly to make my presence known, then take it back down again. "That's a strange last name. Tell me, did you come up with that yourself?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, sir, but that is my last name, I assure you," I tell him, even though I'm sitting there, frozen.
What if he says something about my mother? I'm sure he knows, all the teachers must. Most of them have been very kind to me, probably because they know, but I guess Snape isn't the same. I can feel his glare. I know he doesn't like me, or any other Gryffindor for that matter. But he wouldn't tell everyone who my mother is, would he? I can't let anyone find out, what would they think of me? I'm sure Malfoy already knows, but what I hold over him is keeping him from telling. I have nothing to keep Snape from doing so, though.
"If you say so," Snape says reluctantly, after a long stare down between the two of us. As he continues with attendance, Hermione taps me on the shoulder.
"What was that about?" she whispers. I shrug in response and she luckily doesn't press the issue.
The lesson begins, but the moment it starts I can tell Potions will never be my favorite subject, due solely to the teacher. Snape seems to have it in for Harry and even begins Potions by picking on him.
"Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Snape asks suddenly. Hermione's hand shoots up into the air next to me.
Personally, I have no idea what he even just asked. It seems like Harry doesn't either.
"I don't know, sir," he admits.
Snape sneers at him and I have to clench my fists to keep myself from slapping him across that smug face. Oh, if he does one more...
"Tut, tut – fame clearly isn't everything." Don't do it, Rose. Don't do it. "Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"
Hermione's hand shoots up even higher next to me.
"I don't know, sir," Harry says again.
"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?" Rose, no, you'll be expelled. "What's the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"
Hermione actually stands up in her enthusiasm to answer the question, but Snape doesn't even look at her. I'm gonna kill him.
"I don't know," Harry tells him once again. "I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?"
I giggle quietly, looking up at Hermione, who's still standing. Harry's comment makes me laugh some of my anger away, even though I would still love to slap Snape. I'm not at risk of losing my head and doing it, though, so that's a plus.
"Sit down," Snape orders Hermione. She does reluctantly, still wanting to answer the questions. "For your information, Potter..." He then goes on to answer all the questions he asked Harry, but I barely pay attention. I already decided that I hated Potions, and I refuse to work at something that I hate. I promised myself I wasn't going to continue my old life. If I want to slack on Potions, I will slack on Potions. "Well, why aren't you all copying that down?" As students start digging for quills and ink, I stare Snape right in the face, but his attention is still fixed on Harry. "And a point will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter."
That's it.
"But sir," I begin, without even raising my hand. Even I can tell my tone is slightly mocking, drawing out "sir" for just a few seconds too long. "You didn't really expect us to memorize our Potions book before school started, did you? Because I don't think anyone did, except Hermione of course. Perhaps next time if you want us to memorize a book with, what, 500 pages full of information in it, you might want to give us a few months warning… Or maybe a few years. But that's just me."
The room is silent and I can feel all the faces in it turning to look at me. Sure, my words were mostly polite and respectful but the way I said them, sarcastic and mocking, I wouldn't be surprised if he whipped out his wand right now and killed me on the spot. And from that look in his eyes, I bet he's thinking about doing just that.
"You just lost five points from Gryffindor, Miss Laetus," Snape tells me in a forced calm voice. "And got yourself a detention on top of that. My, my. A detention in your first week," Snape smiles in a disgustingly smooth way. "What will your parents think?"
"Well, I don't think my mother will mind," I say without pausing. "She has more pressing matters to worry about at the moment." I smile at him, but even I can feel my eyes sparking. He should have expected this from the moment he mentioned my mother. Now that I can speak my mind, I will. Snape should have known not to get in the way.
"See me after class," is all he says before he starts the lesson.
/
When the bell rings I almost gather my things and walk out with everyone else, before I remember Snape and detention. Well, this will be fun.
"I'll meet you outside," I tell Hermione before marching to Snape's desk, head held high.
He doesn't acknowledge my presence until every student has walked out of the classroom, and even then he waits a few minutes before looking up.
"Miss Laetus," he finally says. "I doubt you know this, what with your upbringing and all, but it is a general rule that children should respect their elders."
"I give respect where it's due," I reply. "You don't respect me, so I refuse to respect you." He stares at me, his expression impassive. "You shouldn't have brought up my mother."
"You shouldn't have disrupted class."
"I wasn't going to just sit there as you picked on Harry."
"Mr. Potter can fend for himself."
"Well, he wasn't saying anything in his defense, so I had to."
"And now you have detention because of it."
"I don't care. I can handle whatever it is you throw at me."
Snape glares at me for a moment. I can tell what's going through his mind. He's thinking of what he can do that will successfully punish me. He must know I can clean anything, without magic, easily, and most Hogwarts punishments won't bother me at all. I've had much worse.
"Miss Laetus, you are lucky the headmaster ordered the staff to make your first few weeks here an easy adjustment from your previous life," he says, defeated. "If he hadn't, I would have you go out into the forest to hunt werewolves alone. As it is, I must respect his wishes. Come here tonight at 7:00 for detention. The student cabinet for ingredients is disorganized. You and two others will reorganize it in alphabetical order." I nod. "That's all."
As I turn to leave, he says one more thing.
"Next time you misbehave, Miss Laetus, as I'm sure you will, the punishment will be much more severe."
"Thank you, Professor Snape," I say sarcastically before running out the door, not giving him enough time to say anything in return.
Yeah, I'll misbehave again. And next time it won't just be talking back.
/
The day passes relatively quickly, then Harry, Ron, and I go down to Hagrid's for a quick visit. He has a small hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, but it's very cute, in my opinion. And he has a large dog named Fang which I actually end up petting for the entirety of the visit.
Hagrid's actually amused by me getting detention in the first week of school.
"Yer gonna end up like those Weasley twins, I bet," he laughs. "Pullin' pranks five days a week, sittin' in detention the other two. Mark my words!"
"You're probably right," I admit. "Really, I'll spend more time in detention than in Gryffindor Tower. Guarantee it!"
As Harry and Ron prepare to leave and go to dinner, Hagrid asks if he can speak to me alone. I send the boys off, saying that I'll meet up with them later, then sit back down.
"How're yeh doin' here at Hogwarts?" he asks gently.
"It's… It's a bit of an adjustment, but I'm getting there," I admit, not wanting to lie to him.
"Must be hard gettin' used to it all."
"A bit." I smile, remembering the first conversation we had. "You were right about the food you know. It's a lot better here."
Hagrid grins.
"Glad yeh like it," he says. "One of the best parts of Hogwarts." He looks down at his hands for a moment, then back up at me. "Er, I just found out exactly what happened to yeh when you were living with your mother a couple days ago and… And I just wanna say if yeh ever need help, you can always come to me. It's gonna be a rough couple of months, not gonna lie. With the trial comin' up and all…"
The trial? Oh right, that is coming up soon isn't it. As in… Days soon.
"Right," I agree, voice trembling slightly. Pull it together, Rose!
"Oh, and Dumbledore wanted me to give yeh this." Hagrid reaches into one of his many pockets in his coat and pulls out a letter, then hands it over to me. "Now, yeh best be gettin' off to dinner if you got detention at seven. Yeh can read that on the way up. Go on, off yeh go!"
As I walk across the grass on my way back up to the castle, I unfold the letter Hagrid gave me and read it. Hopefully I won't trip over any tree roots while my eyes are on the paper.
Dear Miss Laetus,
As I'm sure you know, your mother's trial is beginning tomorrow and your testimony is needed to convict her. I have managed to convince the court that it is unnecessary to drag you to the Ministry and back again and they have agreed to let you testify without leaving Hogwarts. Please come to my office at 9:00 P.M. on Thursday, September 12 so we can proceed. Professor McGonagall has agreed to show you the way if you stop by her office beforehand. I will warn you, a Ministry official will be present to observe, and you will be given a strong truth telling potion before we start, to ensure that your answers are truthful. I'm sure this must be difficult for you, but it is unfortunately the only way that your mother can be convicted. You are exempt from your classes on September 13, however, so you have time to recover. I am very sorry.
Sincerely, Headmaster Dumbledore
No. No, no, no, no, no. I can't do this. I can't relive all of my life with her so soon. It will still be just as painful and humiliating, even if I'm in his office instead of the Ministry. I've just started to recover from a life of torture, now they want to throw it back in my face? I can't do this… But if I do, she gets locked up forever. If I do, she won't be able to touch me again. So I have to, even if I hate it. Even if I'll live in fear for weeks afterwards. In a few months I won't have to think about it ever again.
So I'll do it. I'll do it so Mother gets what's coming to her.
/
I step into Snape's office just after seven. I was a bit distracted by the food in the Great Hall and lost track of time, to be completely honest. From the expression on his face, I don't think my lateness helped improve his opinion of me. Oh well. It's not like I was trying to do that anyway.
"You're late," he points out.
"Yes," I reply matter-of-factly. "And?"
"Do you want another detention, Miss Laetus?" I shrug indifferently and Snape sighs in defeat. "Come on." He leads me to a cupboard filled to bursting with potion ingredients. "You are to organize these in alphabetical order. Of course," a smirk comes across his face, "I can't guarantee that each one is labelled correctly, so you might want to double check and relabel those that need it." He looks up at the clock impatiently. "The other two are late. When they get here, don't bother sending them into my office, just give them the instructions and set them to work."
"What if they don't show up?"
"I'll check in every few minutes. I'll notice." Before turning to go into his office, Snape looks up at the clock once more, then back to me. "Don't do anything stupid." With that, he sweeps his long black cloak into his office behind him.
Sighing, I look at the giant cupboard in front of me. He's joking, right? This thing is giant. I'll get it done, of course, but it will…
Wait a second. What is alphabetical order? Mother didn't teach me much growing up, only reading and some math. Nothing that isn't needed to keep the house clean. This alphabetical order… I wasn't taught it. If the other two ever show up, maybe they can do that part for me, but I doubt they'll ever get here. It's almost been ten minutes and there's not a trace of them.
Maybe I should tell Professor Snape that I don't know what alphabetical order is. Maybe… No. No way. I'm not giving him the satisfaction of me not being able to complete what sounds like a simple task. He won't let me forget it. But what else can I do?
As I'm pondering, I hear the soft creak of the door behind me. Is that my two other detention doers? I turn to see the Weasley twins, bright grins and all.
"Oh, did detention start already?" one asks, peering up at the clock. "Didn't notice."
"Rose?" the other says, surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"Detention, same as you apparently," I reply.
"What did you do?"
"Talked back to Snape." The twins wince in understanding. "You?"
"We may have set off a dungbomb in the halls," one explains. "Apparently the smell spread to here. Which wasn't our plan at all."
"Oh no, of course not," the other says sarcastically. I smile.
"Just so I don't get this mixed up, which one of you is Fred and which is George?"
"I'm Fred," the one that just spoke explains.
"I'm George," the other tells me afterwards.
"Okay, now that we have that settled, you mind helping out?" I explain what our task is, then the twins take charge.
"Well, the quickest way to get this done is to have two of us figure out which ingredient is which, then the other organizes them," George plans. "Fred and I can go through the ingredients and you can put them in the cupboard. Sound good?"
I say nothing. Can I tell them that I have no idea how to organize these in alphabetical order? Will they laugh at me? They seem like the kind of people to do that, not maliciously of course, just because they find it funny. But still, I really don't want to admit it. There's no other way around it, though, is there? I guess I have to. Feeling my cheeks go pink I open my mouth.
"Idon'tknowwhatalphabeticalordermeans," I say quickly. So much so, that neither twin understands.
"Er, sorry, what?" Fred asks. I go an even darker shade of red.
"I don't know what alphabetical order means," I repeat, much slower this time so they can understand. It's clear that they do, so when they look at each other for a moment, I prepare myself to block out the laughter.
"That's okay, I can do it," George volunteers quickly, to prevent more awkward silence.
I switch places with him and sit down next to Fred at the table, then we get to work. Other than Snape dropping in every few minutes to check on us, detention really isn't all that bad. Of course, I got lucky and, judging by their conversation, the twins did as well.
"I really can't believe Snape let us off so easy," Fred tells George.
"Me neither," George agrees. "Maybe he was just feeling generous on his first day back."
"Hang on, you two got detention on the first day?" I ask in disbelief.
"Yeah, figured we'd start off the school year with a bang," Fred explains. I shake my head while smiling.
"You're crazy, both of you," I tell them. Secretly, I admire their willingness to get into trouble to have a good time.
"We hear that a lot, don't we, Fred?" George says.
"Every day," he replies cheerfully.
A few more minutes pass, then Fred stops handing jars over to George. The two of us look over at him, perplexed, until we see what he's looking at.
"Yes," George agrees immediately.
A few jars of powdered dragon horn are sitting right in front of him and, judging by his expression, Fred is ready to steal one of them.
"What are you gonna do with that?" I ask curiously. I know it's obviously used in potions, or it wouldn't be here, but what use do the two have for a jar of it?
"We have a couple of potions we're, ah, looking into…" George starts to explain.
"Purely for academic reasons, of course," Fred adds on.
"Of course," I agree with a smile, going back to work as they hide it in George's bag.
The rest of detention passes relatively quickly and it's rather enjoyable, to be completely honest. Fred, George, and I get along pretty well, I think, so the conversations we have overshadow the frustration at the tedious task we were given. Eventually we finish, though, and Snape comes out of his office the moment we place the last jar in the cupboard.
"Done?" he asks. The three of us nod. "Let me take a look."
Even though they move aside, I can see the nervous look Fred and George give each other. Is Snape really gonna notice a missing jar of powdered dragon horn?
It turns out he does.
"You're short one jar of dragon horn," he alerts us, then turns around so he's facing our small group again. "I did not give you permission to take anything from the cupboard during detention. Who took it?"
Uh oh. I can see Fred and George looking guiltily at each other out of the corner of my eye, but before either of them can take the blame, I come up with an excuse.
"I'm sorry, Professor," I begin, doing my best to sound nonchalant. If this fails, all three of us get in trouble. "I dropped it as we were organizing." He seems doubtful. "The glass is quite slippery, you know. Don't worry, I cleaned it up already," I add hastily as he looks around for the traces of it. "It's in there, now." I point at the wastebasket in the corner, already so full of broken glass and ingredients that it doesn't matter that I didn't actually put the dragon horn in there. He has no way to check it.
"You put an entire jar of dragon horn into the trash?" he asks in disbelief.
"Yes," I lie. "Is that a problem?"
"Dragon horn is extremely expensive!"
"Is it?"
"You foolish girl!" Snape yells suddenly. I jump from the loud noise and flinch. Usually with yelling comes... Well I'd rather not think about it. "Why would you throw out the jar of dragon horn when you can fix it using a simple mending charm? Were you raised under a rock?"
"Why, yes I was," I say sarcastically. I can feel Fred and George's surprised stares, but I don't look away from Snape's angry face. "Didn't you know? I thought Professor Dumbledore told you."
The twins must think I just said that to piss Snape off, but Snape can tell what I really mean. That subtle mention of my previous life does wonders. Snape's angry face relaxes slightly, clearly as a result of him forcing himself to calm down. We stare at each other for a moment, both of us daring the other to say something, but neither of us breaks the silence. Finally, Snape sighs.
"Just get out," he orders, turning away. "Your detention's over, you're all free to go." Fred, George, and I all turn around to leave, but Snape continues. "But Miss Laetus…" I turn around expectantly. "Watch your tongue."
"Oh yes, of course, sir," I agree sarcastically before quickly walking out of the room, the Weasley twins close behind me.
As soon as the door to the Potions room closes, Fred and George start laughing.
"Did – Did you really just do that?" Fred asks once they calm down a bit.
"Do what?"
"Make fun of Snape," he replies, "and get away with it."
"I have special powers over people's minds. I can get away with anything," I joke, grinning.
"You're incredible," George tells me in awe.
"And we owe you," Fred adds. "Snape was gonna skin us alive before you stepped in."
"Oh, that was nothing," I tell him, waving my hand dismissively.
We eventually get back to Gryffindor Tower, where it seems like the entire House is still in the Common Room, still infected by start of term excitement. I spot Hermione in the corner, sitting alone, and start heading for her.
"Hey, Rose," Fred says before I can go too far.
"Hm?"
"Thanks again," he says. "If you ever need anything, we've got you covered."
George nods in agreement as I smile.
"Thanks," I say, trying to hold back my joy. "See you later."
As they walk away, I grin so big that my cheeks get sore in seconds. I know this is normal and stuff, making friends, but every single person that I become close to only adds to my excitement to be here, not back with Mother.
Mother. Her trial. I forgot that's coming up, distracted by detention. I have only a few days to prepare myself for questioning. Only a few days to continue blocking it out before it comes crashing in again. My grin fades. I'm really not ready for this, but then again, will I ever be? I guess it's better to get it over with now than remember all this later on, when I've almost forgotten all of it. No, I'm definitely not looking forward to the questions and memories, but I am ready to get it over with. It's time to move on.