AS always a big giant thank you to Amonraphoenix for beta reading this chapter, and for always making it so much better! And thanks to her great suggestions and letting me pick her brain with the medical stuff:) You are AMAZING!

Also a big thank you to Mela989898, I love kittens too, Kimmie98, and flamedragon242 for your wonderful reviews;)

And to mela, please enjoy the ongoing train wreck;)

Chapter 9

Donatello lifted his head off his arm and frowned in confusion, wondering when he had fallen asleep. He sat up in the chair he was sitting in and look around the room. The sun shone brightly through the windows as birds chirped merrily outside.

The last thing he remembered was watching Raphael and Katherine sleeping soundly together on the bed he had apparently fell asleep on. He had been determined to stay awake throughout the night, checking every few minutes to make sure his brother was still alive. Raphael's breathing had gotten weaker, his pulse more and more thready with each passing moment.

Katherine had struggled to stay awake as well. Her own fingers had rested lightly on Raphael's weakening pulse, her ear directly over his faint heart beat as each gasp for air had become more and more difficult to take. Tears had run down Katherine's cheeks in anguish as they sat and watched Raphael slowly dying in front of them, knowing there wasn't anything they could do to stop the inevitable from happening.

Donatello felt panic begin to crawl up his back as he gently squeezed Raphael's cold, limp hand in his own. Donatello's eyes flew to Raphael's face, which in the bright light appeared was pale and gaunt, his lips tinged frighteningly blue, his body completely motionless and still. Donatello couldn't even detect the faint rise and fall of his brother's chest.

A lump formed in his throat as he shook his head back and forth in denial, pulling his hand away from his brother's icy grip. He let out a choked sob and buried his head in his brother's blankets, clenching the sheets tightly in his hands as he tried to stifle the sounds of his unbearable grief and loss.

He felt as if he had lost almost everything.

He had just lost his brother and the woman he loved, all within the same heartbreaking night. And although Donatello knew that he would never regret his actions regarding Katherine, there was no comfort in knowing that he had done EVERYTHING he could to save his brother's life, and failed miserably anyway.

He twisted the bed sheets in his hands more tightly as he sobbed uncontrollably into them. He couldn't stop the grief that assaulted him, turning his world black, and leaving him feeling barren and empty.

"I'm sorry, Raph." He whispered wretchedly. "I am so, so sorry." He choked out between ragged breaths. "I... I should h-have tried h-harder."

Donatello lifted his head as he detected a small movement from Katherine. She lifted her head from where it had been laying on Raphael's plastron. She tiredly opened her eyes and looked at him in confusion; as if her exhausted mind could not fathom what he was so upset about.

Katherine's eyes widened in shock as she took in his grief-stricken face in dawning horror. Katherine paled, going absolutely white. She had paled so much and so quickly, that Donatello thought she was going to faint. Her gaze flew to Raphael's pale, blue tinged face, her eyes quickly filled with tears as she fell forward, burying her face in the crook of Raphael's cold neck. Sob after choked out sob was issued from her lips as she spoke softly to his deceased brother. She spoke so softly that Donatello was unable to hear her words. But Donatello figured that was okay, because those words were not meant for him, they were meant for his brother and his brother only.

Donatello dashed the tears from his eyes and reached out, lightly touching Katherine's shoulder.

Katherine pulled herself away from his brother's still, lifeless body and looked at Donatello, devastated grief lining ever inch of her face. She reached over, grabbing him by the hand and pulled him towards her. She pulled him in close and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face into his throat as she sobbed brokenly. "I-I'm sorry, Donatello. I am so, so sorry." She choked out in apology between heart wrenching sobs; as if she had failed him somehow, or as if his loss were somehow greater than her own. Donatello wondered numbly -as he clutched Katherine tightly- if there was a comparison of which hurt worse; the loss of a brother, or the loss of a lover? He had just lost his brother, and he had lost Katherine, but in a different way. He knew Katherine was still alive, but forever out of his reach. And yet, he morbidly wondered if her death would cut more deeply. He wasn't sure, and he never wanted to find out. The loss of his brother had ripped his soul to shreds and left him shaking; like a boat being tossed adrift in a tumultuous storm with no end in sight. There was now a giant hole in his heart that he was unable, and would never be able to fill again.

Donatello sobbed brokenly into Katherine's hair as his mind worked furiously, knowing that he had to fulfil Raphael's last requests. He would have to cremate his brother's body and take the remains back home to bury next to their father. Michelangelo would get Raphael's comics, Leonardo his heavy bag… and…. and the ring burning a hole in his pocket… would be the one request he could never fulfil.

By this time Katherine had slumped forward causing Donatello to fall forward as well. His head lay on his brother's motionless chest, his sobs quieting into choked sniffing. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Raph." He whisper hardly more than a soft exhalation of breath.

Katherine's hands brushed across Donatello's forehead and caressed his cheek gently, giving him all the comfort that she could give.

His brother's body made a slight twitch. Donatello flinched in bewilderment, but did not remove his head from Raphael's chest.

He had heard Katherine gasp in confusion, but he ignored her as he heard a faint, low groan issue from Raphael's blue tinged lips.

Donatello listened intently, straining to hear the faint thump of a heartbeat. Instead he heard another moan as his brother moved weakly.

"Donny?" Raphael's voice rasped in question.

Donatello quickly lifted his head from his brother's chest, staring in shock into his brother's confused amber eyes. His eyes drifted downwards, watching in amazement as he saw a slight rise and fall -one shallow breath- followed by another, slightly deeper raspy breath.

"Raph?" Donatello asked in a shaking voice as tears beaded along his eyes before falling in stunned relief. "You... you're alive." He whispered dumbly in disbelief.

"Raphael!" Katherine cried out, wrapping his brother in her arms in a crushing, and relieved hug.

An awful, grating cough suddenly racked Raphael's body. Donatello frantically searched for a glass of water, and finding one on the night stand offered it to his brother, who weakly shook his head, 'no'.

"Donny, what... what's going on?" Raphael finally managed to whisper huskily, his face still tinged blue, his voice a hoarse rasp as he struggled to take each breath. This question seemed to exhaust his brother, his eyes sliding partially closed as he sunk deeper into the pillows.

Donatello had to choke back a heart wrenching sob. His brother wasn't dead, but he wasn't any better either. Instead, Donatello was going to have to watch his brother die right in front of him. Donatello felt relieved and heartbroken, all at the same time. He would be able to comfort his brother in his final moments, which was as comforting as it was heart breaking, but this meant that he would have to sit and watch his brother suffer in agony during his final moments. Donatello roughly pushed this selfish, traitorous thought away and dashed wretched tears of grief from his eyes.

"You..." Donatello swallowed down the painful lump in his throat. "We, we thought you had..." Donatello choked back a whimper. "You... you're dying, Raph. You only have a few minutes left. Just... just try to... to relax." He said managing to get the horrible words out. "It... It will all be ... be over... s-soon.

Raphael's face paled, turning a disturbing shade of grey-blue.

Raphael closed his eyes and nodded in grim acceptance. "My chest hurts and... it hurts to breathe." Raphael wheezed taking in a shaky breath of air, tiredly opening his eyes again.

"I know." Donatello whispered miserably, clasping his brother's cold, shaking hand in his own. He gave his brother's hand a gentle squeeze and to his surprise, Raphael gently squeezed his hand back. "The... the pain will stop soon." Donatello promised. Donatello knew that his brother's heart would finally just stop; finally ending Raphael's short life, and there was nothing Donatello could do about it. His brother had managed to fight and last through the night, but his battle was for nought; because in the end, the Yellow Fever had won.

"Donny... Don't... don't blame yourself. " Raphael whispered in agony as pain wracked his body. Tears streaked down Raphael's face, not being able to hold them back any longer. "I... I love you, Bro." Raphael managed to grind out through a jaw clenched tightly against the pain. Raphael suddenly arched his back gasping for breath, his face contorting with intense pain before he settled back again, exhausted and barely conscious. His tired amber gaze slowly moved to Katherine. "Kitten. God, Kitten I'm so sorry." Raphael managed to reach out a shaking hand, and stroking her hair tenderly, his eyes speaking of his undying love that he felt for her.

At that moment Donatello felt like an intruder; someone who should not be witnessing this soul shattering moment between his brother and his love.

Katherine's gaze was beyond devastated. Pain was a word that could not even come close to describing the searing agony and disbelief that rolled around in her tearful eyes.

"Katherine, I love you so much. Never... I never stopped loving you." Raphael whispered miserably before closing his eyes as another wave of agonizing pain wracked is already abused body. "My chest! My heart feels like it's in a vice, it hurts!" Raphael screamed as he tried to curl into a ball. Sweat glistened and ran down Raphael's face as he struggled to breathe. His eyes fluttered rabidly before his body started to shake, spasming uncontrollably. A strangled gasping wheeze uttered from his gaping mouth as he tried to breathe.

"He's going into cardiac arrest." Donatello's voice cracked with horror. "Raph!"

Suddenly Raphael went still, his eyes sliding closed, his hand falling limply to his side.

"Raphael!" Katherine screamed. "Don't you dare! You can't... you don't get to die on me!" She sobbed as Donatello rolled Raphael onto his Carapace, and began doing chest compressions.

"Don't you dare die on me, Raphael!" Donatello snarled viciously as he pressed his brother's chest harder; even though he knew that there was no point. Raphael's heart would never beat again, and yet he still tried to get his brother's heart beating.

"Raph come on, stay with me, Bro. Please." He begged pushing Katherine out of the way, and leaning forward, about to press his lips against his brother's cold blue ones; to breathe a puff of air into his brother's abused lungs.

Raphael opened his eyes groggily and jerked back hard when he saw Donatello bent over him. "Don't even think about giving me mouth to mouth." He growled weakly, taking in a shallow breath before coughing violently. "I ain't... ain't dead yet." Raphael gasped, wiping his mouth in disgust not knowing if Donatello's lips had touched his own or not. "Don't... don't revive me... just let me go." Raphael wheezed as he shifted slightly, another violent cough wracking his frail body.

Donatello realized that his brother had fainted for a few moments, before regaining consciousness. And now Raphael was telling him to just let him die, and not to try to bring him back; because that was a torture neither of them needed to endure. But Donatello knew it would not stop him from trying to revive his brother anyway, even though he knew it was pointless in the end.

Katherine sobbed, falling forward and pulling Raphael in close. She lay her cheek against Raphael's. "I love you." She whispered, shifting her head so that is was laying on Raphael's plastron. She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again and shifting so that she was more upright, her arms possessively clutching Raphael close to her heart. She looked at Donatello, a steely look of determination in her eyes that proclaimed she wasn't going to let Raphael die; not without one hell of a fight. "Why is he blue?" She asked, her voice strong, clear and yet containing an edge of desperation.

Donatello stared at Katherine blankly. His grief stricken mind unable to comprehend what she was asking. Finally he answered, "He's dying, Katherine." He told her gently.

She shook her head vehemently back and forth, her arms clutched around Raphael's struggling body."His skin is blue, cold, and I couldn't even hear his heart beating! But he's still alive, how is that possible?" She asked him beseechingly, a tear running down her pale cheek.

Raphael arched his back again in brutal agony, his body spasming and convulsing in Katherine's arms. "God, Donny! My chest fucking hurts." Raphael wailed as he took another gasping breath of air. "Please, just... just make it fucking stop!" Raphael pleaded, tears coursing down his grey-green cheeks as he clutched at the area over his heart.

"Donatello!" Katherine wailed brokenly as Raphael let out a hoarse scream of agony before it was abruptly cut off. His brother fell back, panting softly, his eyes glazing over slightly as he continued to make strangled whimpers of pain.

Donatello looked at his brother; actually looked at him. "Raph, try to lie perfectly still." Donatello commanded, his mind hitting upon an idea as he placed his ear on his brother's chest again, directly over his heart. He motioned with a finger to his lips for everyone to remain perfectly silent and still.

He hadn't been able to detect his brother's heartbeat a moment ago either, but his brother was still alive, which meant that his heart was obviously still beating. He knew that the Yellow Fever would eventually cause his brother's heart to fail, but it hadn't... yet. However, his brother's heart should have stopped, killing him outright; not turning his skin blue. At least, his skin shouldn't turn blue until death finally took his life. He amended to himself grimly.

Donatello finally heard it then, the faint, dull thump of his brother's still beating heart. The sound was not a healthy one, it sounded hollow and weak.

"Cyanosis." He croaked in disbelief, quickly lifting his head from his brother's chest.

"Donatello." Katherine whispered miserably.

Donatello scrambled for the pen light he had placed on the night table the day before. He grabbed the cool metal in his hand, flicked the light on, and shined it in both of his brother's eyes. He placed a shaking hand on his brother's cold forehead. "Raph's fever is gone. And judging by the fact that his skin and eyes are no longer yellow it appears that both kidney and liver functions have returned to normal. He's beaten the Yellow Fever, but an infection is attacking the sac that surrounds his heart. His blue colour is being caused by de-oxygenation. Basically his heart cannot pump enough oxygenated blood throughout his system because he is suffering from a Pericardial Effusion." He swallowed before continuing. "There is an abnormal build up of fluid in the sac that surrounds his heart, which is squeezing the heart and preventing the proper distribution of oxygenated blood. The fluid has also caused his heart to swell, which is causing the chest pains and his breathing problems."

Katherine looked at Donatello desperately, hope warring with fear while Raphael seemed to be in too much pain to pay attention to what Donatello was saying. Raphael tried curling into a tight ball, clawing at his chest in agony as Katherine continued to hold him tightly to her chest.

"We can save him?" Katherine asked in the barest of hopeful whispered.

Donatello nodded curtly." But if we don't do something quickly, he's going to die." Donatello told Katherine sharply, fear racing hotly across his shoulders and down his spine. His mind worked furiously to find a solution to save his brother's life.

"What can we do?" Katherine's faint voice asked plaintively.

"We can try draining the excess fluid from around his heart." He said decisively as he moved from the bed, scooping the paramedics bag up off the floor and unzipping the top.

"You're gonna do what?" Raphael gasped out in horror as Donatello pulled the largest gauge needle he could find from the bag. Raphael looked at the needle and went three shades paler, the blue of his lips standing out even more starkly against his green-grey skin.

"Katherine, I'm going to need you to keep him calm." Donatello told her as he pulled another, smaller needle and a piece of IV tubing from the bag. It would have been helpful to have saline solution for when Raphael had been in a coma, but for now Donatello was thankful for the tubing.

"Donny, there is... no way in hell that... that you are jabbing that thing into me." Raphael managed to gasp out weakly as he struggled to sit up.

Donatello realized that his brother was not going to cooperate willingly. "Tie him down." He ordered mercilessly. His brother could hate him later, right now he was going to save Raphael's life, even if it meant restraining him for his own good.

Katherine didn't even protest or question his order. Instead she nodded and quickly removed the pillowcases from a few of the spare pillows surrounding Raphael's struggling form. With Donatello's help in holding Raphael still, Katherine deftly and quickly tied Raphael spread-eagle to the bed, using the posts of the headboard and footboard to secure him.

Donatello blinked momentarily at her ease and familiarity at tying Raphael to the bed and he briefly wondered about his brother and Katherine's possible kinky bedroom habits, before firmly pushing the thought away and concentrating on the task at hand.

He pulled on a pair of ill-fitting rubber gloves and grabbed a disinfecting wipe, brushing it down the center of his brother's pectoral scutes.

He looked up at Raphael, who was gazing down at him, his eyes frightened and full of intense pain. Donatello glanced at Katherine. "This is going to hurt. I need you to try to keep him as calm as you can." He told her gravely.

"Couldn't we...?" She began but Donatello quickly cut her off.

"I can't give him anything. The only thing I have is morphine and I don't want him slipping into a coma again." He ground out, the horror of what he was about to do to his brother while he was still conscious choking him.

Katherine nodded, tears brimming in her eyes as she bravely fought them back, focusing all of her attention on Raphael. She leaned forward and placed both hands on each side of Raphael's face, forcing him to look at her.

"I need you to look at me, Raphael." She told his brother gently, but firmly.

Raphael tried to force his head away, straining to see what Donatello was doing, but Katherine's grip may as well have been made of steel for all his brother was able to move his head.

Raphael closed his eyes, straining against the impromptu restraints. "Donny!" Raphael's' choked voice broke as a single tear rolled down his brother's cheek from the corner of his eye.

"Raphael, listen to me. You are going to be fine. It's going to hurt, but Donatello is going to do everything he can to make this as quick and painless as possible." Katherine whispered comfortingly, wiping the stray tear from Raphael's pale cheek.

Donatello could no longer spare anymore time on watching Katherine comfort his struggling, terrified brother. Every moment he wasted, more and more fluid was building up around his brother's heart; slowly crushing it.

Donatello placed the tip of the largest gauge needle against the crevice between his brother's scutes and pushed through the hard keratin of his brother's plastron. He needed to hit the lower portion of the pericardial sac. He could feel his brother tensing, probably feeling the pressure of the needle entering, but no pain just yet. Donatello pushed the needle in further until he struck the thin, but tough, white membrane that lay underneath their plastrons. He pulled the large needle out, discarding it, and picking up the smaller, thinner needle next.

His hands shook as he took a deep, calming breath. He made a slight nod with his head that he hoped Katherine could see, indicating that this was the part of the procedure that was going to hurt, and to try to keep Raphael as calm and still as she possibly could.

The needle slipped through the membrane with a little bit of difficulty. Raphael let out a gasp of pain, his body arching slightly. Donatello tried to calm himself because one slip and he could accidently kill his brother outright.

"Raphael!" Katherine's voice snapped as she tried to stop Raphael's frenzied thrashing, finally resorting to pushing his shoulders down with her hands..

Donatello guided the needle slowly towards his brother's heart as Raphael let out another, louder whimper of agony.

"Look at me!" Katherine commanded of his brother. "Raphael!" Katherine choked out, her voice shaking. "W-when... when this is all over, we...we are going to go home, but after that... anywhere you want to go, anything that you want to do, we are going to do it." She told Raphael in a choked voice.

"Donny, if you are going to kill me, just do it already!" Raphael snarled, his voice breaking as he let out another whimper of pain.

Donatello ignored Raphael's words and carefully pierced the sac surrounding his brother's heart.

Raphael screamed in pain then. Donatello pulled the plunger from the needle as it quickly filled with a cloudy fluid. Donatello paced the clear rubber tubing into the body of the syringe and the end into a small bucket at his feet.

"When we get off this hunk of rock I ain't never going anywhere again!" Raphael managed to cry out, his eyes closed tightly in pain.

"Okay." Katherine almost managed a watery laugh as she dashed tears from her cheeks with a shaky hand.

Raphael bucked, forcing Katherine to scramble to hold onto Raphael's head again. "Do you remember the first time we met?" Katherine asked Raphael, attempting another line of thought to distract Raphael's mind from the searing pain in his chest.

Raphael only grunted, thrashing slightly in pain.

"You told me that... that h-heaven must be missing an... an angel." Katherine managed to stammer out in a choked voice.

This seemed to get Raphael's attention as his brother opened his eyes and looked up at Katherine. She wore a soft expression on her face, filled with love and hope, a slightly wry smile on her face in response to the obviously corny pick up line.

Donatello's heart clenched in grief and jealousy at the love that he saw in his ex-girlfriend's eyes; aimed at his brother. He ignored the pain in his heart and watched as more fluid steadily dripped into the bucket.

Raphael managed a snort of some sort. Donatello studied his brother's face. The bluish cast to his brother's skin was slowly being replaced by a more healthy emerald green.

Donatello felt his shoulders slump in relief.

Raphael ground his teeth together and swallowed another scream. "Can't...can't believe you...dated me, after...after that." Raphael managed to grind out raggedly before taking a swift intake of breath that sounded painful.

Katherine let out a watery chuckle. "Me neither." She answered softly.

Raphael closed his eyes again, his features paling even more. Katherine shot a look at Donatello which he interpreted as a question of how much longer the needle would have to remain lodged in his brother's chest.

Donatello looked away before taking a breath and mouthing the words 'a few hours.'

Katherine's mouth fell open in shock as she went a shade paler than she already was. She gave a curt nod of understanding and turned her attention back to Raphael.

"Why did you trust me enough to show me where you lived, Raphael?" Katherine asked his brother quietly, changing topics again so that his brother had to think about the answer instead of his pain.

Donatello stilled, curious as to the answer. His brother had told Leonardo that he had been half out of his mind with pain and confusion, and Donatello had never challenged Raphael's claim. Donatello had thought that it was a reasonable explanation as to why Raphael had led a total and complete stranger to their hidden, and secretive home.

"You...you weren't s-scared of... of me." Raphael managed to choke out as he arched his back in pain.

Katherine put a gentle, but firm hand on Raphael's chest and pushed him back into the bed. "Why would I be scared of you?" Katherine asked in confusion, still attempting to take his brother's mind off of the pain.

Donatello looked at the clock and realized that only fifteen minutes had passed and the draining was going to take hours. Normally the needle would be removed and a plastic, less invasive needle would remain to slowly drain the fluid from the heart, but neither Raphael or Donatello had that luxury.

"Cause, I...I wasn't hu-human." Raphael stammered slightly as Katherine tenderly stroked her hand across Raphael's forehead and cheek. "But...but I saw th-that you didn't see-seem t-to care." Raphael swallowed roughly.

Katherine searched the bed anxiously bringing up a blanket and covering his brother as best as she could.

"Kitten... it hurts." Raphael ground out roughly, nearly delirious with pain.

"I know." She said as she brushed her hand lovingly across his brother's forehead again. "I know, but Donatello... " Katherine swallowed before continuing. "Donatello says that it will take a few hours before he can remove the needle." She whispered to him gently.

"Oh, God." Raphael rasped out, turning his head to the side as he let out a barely concealed sob.

Donatello knew how much this was costing Raphael. He knew his brother hated being vulnerable and weak. Having Katherine witness him writhing in pain was costing Raphael a lot.

"Raphael, look at me." Katherine prompted softly, turning Raphael's face back to Katherine's teary gaze. "I know. I know it hurts but... just stay with me, okay?"

Raphael managed a weak nod. Katherine then asked Raphael a question about what he wanted to do when he got home.

"Sleep." Raphael managed to groan out. Katherine chuckled.

"Besides sleep, what do you want?" Katherine tried again, her will battling against Raphael's pain.

"You." Raphael growled. "Don't care about anything else. I just want you. You're all I've ever wanted, or needed." Raphael managed to gasp out before his eyes rolled up into his head and his body went limp.

Donatello scrambled to check his brother's pulse and found a strong, healthy beat beneath his fingertips.

Donatello let out a sigh of relief as he brushed a shaky hand across his eyes. "He's unconscious." He told Katherine as she shot him an anxious look. "But... he's going to be fine." He said, his heart lightening with the knowledge that Raphael was not going to die.

Katherine slumped with relief; exhaustion heavy on her features. An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Both no doubt thinking about Raphael's last words before he had finally passed out due to the extreme pain he was suffering.

"Donatello..." She finally began, breaking the silence.

"I don't want to talk about it." He snapped, studiously ignoring Katherine's searching gaze, and concentrating instead on the fluid that continued to drip- slower now- into the bucket at his feet.

He was exhausted and he didn't want to talk about his heartbreak. Raphael was going to live, that is all he should care about right now, not his own broken heart and his hurt.

"So we are going to pretend that none of this," She made a circular motion with her hand encompassing herself, Raphael and Donatello. "Happened?" She asked.

"What do you want me to say, Katherine?" Donatello hissed angrily. "That even though we were together, your feelings for Raphael were so strong, that you were able to leave me, and pick up exactly where you and he left off?" Donatello bit out bitterly as he tried -and failed- to rein in his sudden fury.

The look of gentle love in her eyes as she gazed at Raphael had broken what had remained of his already shattered heart. He had been a fool to ever think that her feelings for him were ever stronger than those she had for his brother. But he knew the truth, and the truth was that he had just been a turtle replacement.

The stinging sound of a slap reverberated throughout the room as Donatello looked at Katherine in shock. Donatello rubbed at his burning cheek as he glared at her in angry disbelief.

Katherine's face had darkened with fury, her light green, tear filled eyes narrowed and full of barely restrained fury. "You can't have it both ways, Donatello." She hissed out, her jaw clenched tightly against whatever choice words she was restraining. "You can't just... You can't tell me to be with your brother and then be angry with me because I still love him enough to be with him. Either you believe that I loved you enough to be with you, or you don't. But let me remind you that I did not go running into Raphael's arms when we began having problems. Instead, I decided that our relationship was worth trying to save."

"Then how can you look at him the same way you looked at me?" He snapped out softly, not wanting to wake his unconscious brother.

"Because I never stopped loving Raphael." She said as she clutched her hand tightly over her heart. "Ever." She emphasized. She angrily dashed away a few rebellious tears that had refused to be blinked back. "Raphael punched me, but he didn't intentionally strike me. If he had purposely hit me then we would have been over. But it was my perception that he didn't trust me enough not to cheat on him. That is what hurt the most."

Her words struck a chord through Donatello, because he had accused her of the very same thing.

"I stayed away because I felt hurt, and I didn't want to come between Leonardo and Raphael. I also knew I could never be with someone who did not trust me." Her accusatory eyes bored into his and he felt a flood of shame rise up and consume him. She had loved him enough to try to work things out with him, and he had just thrown that back in her face.

"I hoped that one day Raphael would move on and that he would be able to be happy again. I closed the door on my love for Raphael. I still loved him, but he was a love that did not work out." Her voice was sad and wistful, but became stronger with her next words. "And then you came back into my life and I fell in love with you. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. The thought of dating the brother of a man I still held in my heart was... abhorrent to me. I wasn't going to date you, Donatello. Whatever we were doing, the friends with benefits thing, that all changed when I fell in love with you. I knew that it would be a betrayal to Raphael for us to actually start dating. What we had been doing was already a betrayal. But then Raphael and I talked. He felt betrayed by what we had done, but... the idea of me being in his life in some capacity, even if it was as his brother's girlfriend, was better than not having me in his life at all." Katherine took a steadying breath before continuing. "And Raphael loves you. He could see how happy you were with me, and how miserable the thought of losing me made you. He didn't want you to suffer that pain and loss. He also saw how happy you made me." Katherine turned her head away and stroked Raphael's cheek gently. "Raphael may be a selfish bastard most of the time, but he loves his family more than anything, and would do anything to save a brother from being hurt, even if the hurt is emotional."

Donatello looked at the side of her face and was rendered speechless. His anger was still simmering just below the surface, but it had been tempered slightly.

Katherine turned her attention back towards him, her green-blue eyes still moist with unshed tears. "You are the one that opened that door again. You are the one who told me to be with him if I could. You are the one who broke up with me, and said our relationship was a mistake." Katherine shook her head and dashed away the tears that finally rolled down her cheeks. "Do you think I like feeling like this; in love with two brothers?" She hissed angrily. "I know it was wrong of us to be dating. I know that there is probably this giant guy/brother code thing about dating your brother's ex. But I didn't care about that because I loved you. And no matter how guilty I felt about Raphael, I figured that our relationship was worth it if I was with the man I loved; a man I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with."

Donatello felt his mouth drop open slightly in shock as the leaden weight of the ring in his front pocket burned him. A black wave of despair opened up and swallowed him whole at her words. Donatello realized that Raphael was right; if Donatello had asked Katherine to marry him, she would have said 'Yes'.

"Katherine." Donatello managed to choke out, lifting his hand up slightly as if to reach out to her, but he pulled his hand back. She was no longer his to touch, not anymore. He had forced Katherine back into Raphael's arms so that his brother would fight to live, and he had. Raphael would survive, and now his brother would get to live the rest of his life with Katherine by his side.

"Donatello, this situation is..." She shook her head back and forth and wiped more tears from her cheeks. "I hate that I am in love with both of you. It is even worse that you are brothers. As far as I am concerned I am betraying both of you but..." She made a slicing motion through the air before continuing. "It doesn't matter. It's a decision we both have to live with now. And maybe it's selfish of me to say this, but I wouldn't change my decision, not for anything." She finished. The conversation was now over, because there wasn't anything left to say.

Donatello closed his eyes against the sharp pain in his heart. Katherine was right. He wouldn't change his decision either, because Donatello believed -with every fibre of his being- that Katherine had saved Raphael's life; twice. She had been the one thing that Raphael had fought to live for. She was also the one who pointed out his brother's blue colouring, insisting that something different was wrong with Raphael. If it hadn't been for that, he would have let his brother die, unaware that he could have saved him.

Perhaps he was being petty, but a part of him wished that Katherine at least felt as heartbroken as he did. He opened his eyes and studied Katherine's gaze intently, seeing the heartbreak swirling within the blue-green depths. It was then that Donatello understood that he had broken her heart, and that she was indeed heartbroken. But this knowledge gave him no comfort.

Thoughts and opinions are always welcome:)