Caroline had slept well for the first time in weeks. She felt an enormous relief after her meeting with Gavin. If she had been religious she would have imagined that that's what a visit to the confessional booth might feel like: the chance to get it all off your chest while someone listened and then told you that actually you weren't a bad person and what you were doing was OK.
The confrontations with John and her mother were also strangely uplifting although they had left her feeling emotionally drained. She hadn't heard from either of them all week which usually meant that they were either very embarrassed by what they had said or were still stewing over the whole thing.
When Celia's face appeared at the kitchen window early on Friday morning, Caroline was actually excited to see her. She was smiling widely as she went to let her in.
"Mum! It's lovely to see you. Do you want breakfast?"
"Morning. No, I'm not stopping. I've just come round to see if you are still going away for your mucky weekend and if you want me to keep an eye on Lawrence."
Caroline took off her glasses and placed them on the counter.
"Mum, it is not a mucky weekend. I am accompanying the competition choir to the regional finals. I will be going as the head of Sulgrave. Kate just happens to be one of the teachers who will also be there."
"You'll tell me anything. Anyway, do you still want me? I am free all weekend."
"Yes, yes that would be lovely, thank you. We don't leave until tomorrow morning and Lawrence will already have left with Angus for the rugby match. Angus' dad will drop him back off again around 5pm so you won't see him all day. William and I will be back Sunday lunch time. So if you could perhaps just pop round and make sure that Lawrence has eaten on Saturday evening that would be lovely. Not that he won't eat but he won't eat anything substantial and healthy. You are very welcome to stay in my room or in the guest room if you want to be closer to him. Or perhaps he could stay in your little flat."
"I don't know why you aren't coming back the same day. You're only going to Sheffield aren't you? You could travel there and back in one day."
Caroline shook her head.
"Yes I know mum but we have decided that we would take the children to the theatre, to the Crucible. They are showing "Of Mice and Men" which is on the national curriculum and I think it would be educational for them to see it. I told you, don't you remember?"
"They will probably be bored to tears. I know I would be if I had to sit through one of those plays."
Caroline raised her eyebrows and placed her hands on her hips.
"Are you sure you don't want any breakfast? There is plenty of tea in the pot."
"No thank you. I just popped round to confirm the arrangements for this weekend. And to see you. It's been almost a week you know."
Caroline walked over to her mum and placed her hand on her arm.
"I know it has but who's fault is that? I can't help who I am mum. Goodness knows I've tried. For 25 years in fact. "
Celia sighed and perched on a stool.
"What I don't understand is why now? If what you are telling me is right, that you have been like this since you were born, why did you decide to tell everyone now?"
"Oh mum, I don't know. I guess I'm just too tired and too old to pretend anymore. It's no ones fault you know that I am gay. It isn't even genetic: there is no major gene for homosexuality. Apparently there is an epigenetic link that is attached to our genes and this determines their effects on our development and these in turn direct how …."
She stopped, suddenly aware that she had completely lost Celia who was resting her chin on her hand looking very confused and bewildered.
"Anyway, the thing is, it is no one's fault. You know what, I bet if you traced our family tree back there will be someone sitting on one of the branches who was gay. I won't be the only one in the family."
"Well, it certainly isn't anyone on my side of the family I can tell you. It will be your father's side, they were always a very strange lot."
Caroline laughed again and kissed her mum.
"I need to go to work. I'll see you tonight when I get in. And mum, I love you."
"Yes I know. And I love you too."
Caroline grabbed her bag and hurried out of the kitchen. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and shouted up.
"Boys, you have 1 minute to get to the car and then I am leaving without you."
Kate and Caroline were eating their lunch in Caroline's office when Beverley knocked and entered.
"I'm sorry for interrupting but I just wanted to confirm the hotel arrangements for tomorrow evening."
"That's OK Beverley. Kate and I were just having lunch and discussing the itinerary for the weekend so it's perfect timing."
She walked over to the conference table and stood at the side of Caroline.
"I have booked 6 family rooms that sleep 4 so there will be 2 rooms for the boys and 4 for the girls with 2 beds spare. Then we have, oh, I think the hotel has made a mistake here and misread by email. They have booked a double room and a single room for the teachers. Oh I am sorry Caroline."
She looked up at Caroline who didn't seem to have comprehended fully what she said.
"Thank you Beverley. You have done a great job."
"Oh, is alright with you, sharing a room with Kate, with Miss McKenzie? Unless of course you want to share with Tom!"
It suddenly dawned on Caroline that she would have to share with Kate and she looked quickly at her before turning back to Beverley.
"I oh I didn't realise. No, no, that will be fine as long as that is alright with Kate. I am sure that she hasn't got anything I haven't seen before. Not that I have seen everything that Kate has, or even anything that she has but, well, well, what I am trying to say is …"
"What Caroline is trying to say is that you don't need to change the rooms Beverley. We are both women and I am sure that there won't be any surprises for either of us. Isn't that right Caroline?"
"Yes, yes, that's right, yes that is exactly what I meant. Thank you Kate."
Beverley placed the confirmation sheet on the desk and left the office. The minute the door was closed, Kate burst out laughing.
"What do you mean, Kate hasn't got anything I haven't seen before? Do you know what that sounded like?"
"What? What did it sound …. Oh good Lord. Shit, Beverley will think that, she will know that, what if"
Kate finally stopped laughing and lovingly stroked Caroline's thigh.
"Stop worrying. Beverley won't think anything. Do you think she doesn't already know about you and me? Come on, I eat my lunch with you most days and once or twice she has almost caught us kissing when she has entered your office. She is just being professional and discrete. And what is there to hide now? You have told Gavin about us."
"Do you think so? Do you think that Beverley knows that you and I are an item? Oh gosh, an item? Is that what we are?"
Kate stood up and walked round the back of Caroline, draping her arms around her neck and bending down to whisper in her ear.
"Yes I think that's what we are. An item. How wonderful."
Caroline locked the jeep and made her way over to the crowd of excited school children. In the midst she could just see the top of Kate's head as she was taking a register and answering queries from parents.
As Caroline approached the group, she started to feel very nervous and self-conscious. It was as though everyone suddenly knew about her and Kate and they were watching and waiting. She held her head up high and walked over to Tom Howarth.
"Morning Tom. All set?"
"Good morning Caroline. Yes, I think everyone is here. We just need to load them onto the coach. Goodness me, Jessica Wallis looks like she is staying for a week. Jess, what did you not understand about the instruction to bring a small bag? That suitcase would set me up for a fortnight in Spain."
"That's because you wear budgie smugglers and I bet you wear all your shirts twice. Sir."
She giggled, linked arms with her partner in crime, Chelsea Jackson, and piled into the coach. Caroline covered her mouth and sniggered.
"Who would have thought that those 2 would even have thought to audition for the choir let alone have the marvellous voices that they have. I think we will have our hands full with them this weekend you know. I wouldn't put it past Chelsea to have a miniature bottle or two of vodka in her bag."
She managed to catch Kate's eye and she signalled to Caroline to get on the coach. Taking charge, Caroline herded some of the children up the steps and into their seats, choosing to sit at the front. She stowed her small bag in the overhead luggage rack and settled down, smiling proudly as Kate orchestrated the chaos outside.
Within 5 minutes, all the children were on the coach and Kate was sat beside her, discreetly squeezing her hand as she fastened her seat belt. They all waved at the parents who were lined up at the entrance to the school and set off on their journey to Sheffield.
As the coach drove through the centre of Sheffield, Caroline gazed out of the window. She still thought of it as her home city and she smiled as they passed the O2 academy which used to be the Roxy nightclub. She had spent many a Friday night in there when she was in sixth form and gone to her Saturday job the next day with a headache and queasy stomach. She pointed it out to Kate.
"It's a music venue now, playing music mostly from those Indie bands that students listen to. I would love to go back and see what it is like inside, see whether it has changed."
The first stop was the hotel. Beverley had booked them into the Novotel which was a short distance from the City Hall where they were singing and almost next door to the Crucible theatre. The children were given 30 minutes free time and the three teachers made their way around the rooms, checking that they all knew to wear their school ties with their white shirts and black trousers.
Once they had spoken to everyone and had found a spare tie for Jessica, who amazingly said she hadn't enough room in her bag for hers, Kate and Caroline had just 10 minutes to freshen up. Back in their room, Caroline pulled her top over her head and rummaged around in her bag for a clean one. Kate grinned and while Caroline was bent over, she went behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing first her shoulders and then her ear. Caroline twisted round and put her arms around Kate's neck, pulling her close and rubbing her nose with her own.
"As much as I would like to, we haven't got time. And will you stop looking at me like that."
She leaned forward and kissed Kate passionately, savouring her lips. With regret, she pulled away, picked up her wash bag and walked into the bathroom. She was up to her elbows in warm water when she saw Kate through the mirror. She was leaning on the door jamb, her arms folded and her eyes full of lust.
"Don't even think about it or you will be very sorry."
"I was hoping you would say that."
She walked slowly into the bathroom towards Caroline but she side stepped her and grabbed a towel, drying her arms.
"Stop! We need to be outside in precisely 4 minutes. Move your backside lady and get ready."
Kate pouted and lowered her eyes. She chewed on her bottom lip and interlaced her fingers, holding her hands in front of her.
"It won't work, not this time."
Caroline kissed her forehead as she walked past her and started to put on a clean blouse.
"3 minutes Miss McKenzie."
When they arrived at the City Hall, Kate led the choir backstage leaving Tom and Caroline in the foyer. Caroline stopped and looked up, taking in the decorative high ceiling and the ornate cornice.
"Good Lord. The last time I was here must have been 1983 or 1984 when I came to see Duran Duran with my best friend Karen Bradbury. Do you know, they mimed the whole concert? I was devastated when I found out."
She looked round, a melancholy smile on her face.
"I miss those days when everything was easy and I had no responsibilities, well other than to get myself out of bed in a morning and make sure I wasn't late for school. No big decisions to make, no bills to pay, no … Oh sorry Tom, listen to me rambling on. What are our seat numbers? Are we upstairs or down?"
Tom felt in his inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out 2 tickets.
"We are in the stalls. S1 and S2."
They made their way in, buying 2 programmes in the process and found their seats. Caroline looked around to see if she could spot anyone she knew and then consulted her programme.
"So there are 12 schools here. 10 have qualified in their own rights by winning the rounds and Sulggrave and St Cuthberts from Halifax are the wild cards. They obviously think we are total outsiders but they haven't heard what Kate has managed to do with the choir. I am so proud of her you know."
Tom flicked through his own programme and then put it down on his knee. He turned to Caroline.
"Can I ask you something Caroline? Please tell me to mind my own business but are you and Kate, are you an item? You know, seeing each other?"
Caroline didn't hesitate.
"Yes, yes we are. Why did you ask? Has someone said something?"
Tom fidgeted nervously. Caroline had her teacher face on, the one she used with her pupils when they were being unruly or they had said something very inappropriate.
"Staff room talk, you know how it is. Susan Worthington had a bit of a run in with Sophie Brightman the other day and Sophie said she was convinced you and Kate were having a fling. I think she was a bit annoyed that Susan had called her out in front of everyone."
"I see. Yes, Kate did mention something. How many, err who who else heard?"
"Most of the staff in the school. It was just before first bell and everyone was picking up their books and their prep stuff. It was all over in minutes really and no one said much once Sophie left the room."
Caroline looked down at her programme again, following the lines with her fingers.
"We are serious you know, Kate and I. This isn't us having some mid-life crisis."
Tom touched Caroline's hand.
"This has nothing to do with anyone else. As long as you are happy. And as long as this means that you will still be staying at Sulgrave. You are the best head teacher that has ever been at that school, I hope you know that. I for one would look for another job if you were to leave because of this."
"Thank you Tom. That means so much and …"
Caroline never got chance to finish what she was going to say because the house lights went down and the orchestra started up. There was an air of anticipation in the building as the curtains opened and the compere for the afternoon took the stage.
After the last school had sung, Caroline went back stage to find Kate. She reached out and took both of her hands in her own and caressed the backs of them with her thumbs.
"How do you think they did? I heard a few flat notes during one of the pieces but overall I think they did really well. I am so proud of them."
Caroline gave her a very wide smile.
"Me too! I think they did great. They couldn't have done any more. They were wonderful."
It was an agonisingly long wait for the results to be announced and everyone back stage was very nervous. The choirs were in place on the stage and you could cut the tension with a knife.
"So is it just the winning choir that goes through to the national finals?
Caroline squeezed Kate's hand and whispered quietly.
"No. The top 2 choirs go through. I have no idea which way this will go. Oh, I wish they would hurry up."
They smiled at each other and then pursed their lips, trying to suppress laughter as one of the other teachers turned round and told them to shush because the compere had just returned to the stage.
"So ladies and gentlemen, we are down to the real important business of the day, the winners. I am going to announce the top 3 choirs and invite the choir masters to come on stage and take their applause. I must remind you again that only the top 2 choirs will go on to the finals which will be held in the Royal Albert Hall in London in May next year."
As the compere spoke, Caroline widened her eyes and tightened her grip on Kate's hand. The orchestra started a drum roll which was quickly followed by the sound of stamping feet throughout the audience.
"This has been an amazing day and the points for the top 3 choirs were very close. In fact, there were only 2 whole points separating the third and first place choirs. So without further ado, your third place choir is ….. Sulgrave Heath Independent School."
Applause rang out and Kate was beckoned onto stage. She hesitated, the surprise at hearing her school name slowly sinking in, then she walked forward, dragging Caroline with her. Standing centre stage, she bowed to the audience and then turned around and acknowledged her choir with a sweep of her arm. Caroline was clapping enthusiastically and she turned around to face the choir and mouthed "Well done".
They applauded the second and first place winners who would move onto the nationwide finals and, once everyone had listened to them singing one of their winning pieces again, they left the stage and gathered in the dressing rooms.
"We was robbed Miss."
The choir were gathering around Kate and Caroline and Chelsea stood on tiptoe so she could be seen. A few of the others nodded and muttered in agreement.
"We were robbed Chelsea, not was robbed. And we need to remember that everyone always has an opinion and it won't necessarily always be the same as ours. Don't be disheartened. You all did a fantastic job and I am very proud of you. On another day with another panel of judges, you would very possibly have won."
Kate nodded at Caroline.
"Dr Elliott is right. You were all brilliant today and I am proud to be able to say that I am your choir master. You were a credit not only to the school but to yourselves. Just remember that you are a new choir and this is the first competition that you have entered. To say that you came third in the region is a fantastic achievement. Now, come on, now is not the time to be sad. The table is booked and then we have a trip to the theatre to look forward to. Who's hungry?"