A.N: Hi all, I hope you didn't forget about me! I'm really sorry about the wait, college is demanding and I'm still getting the hang of it. Plus writer's block is a real bitch, I've been trying to crank this chapter out for a month if you can believe that! Anyway, I'm so sorry that it took forever but I hope it was worth it.

I do not own The Walking Dead or Hurt (the Johnny Cash version)

Enjoy!

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World Chapter 8: Choices

Daryl was exhausted. In the past 48 hours he'd been kidnapped, beaten up, and separated from his group… Granted that last one was his own damn fault, but who the fuck really cared? If going through shit like that didn't earn him a good night's sleep then nothing would. His bones creaked and his muscles ached as he made his way through the cell black. Things were different now that he'd returned, tenser. Of course, that probably had something to do with who he'd brought back with him. Fuckin' Merle. That, and the fact that he'd left the group high and dry. All his life, he'd only really ever had Merle. Sure, he was a grade A asshole but at the end of the day, he looked out for Daryl. That alone was more than he could've said about anyone else in his life… at least before.

And now, now was a different story.

It was no secret that none of the group particularly cared for his brother, not that Daryl could blame them. But he'd already lost him once, now way in hell was he letting that happen again. The group was just going to have to deal with it. Although, Daryl knew more than anyone that "dealing with it" and "accepting it" were two very different things. For his sake, he hoped the group would choose the latter. As he leaned against the cold wall, he turned his head toward the sound of Beth's haunting voice drifting through the cell block.

"What have I become? My sweetest friend,

Everyone I know goes away,

In the end."

It wasn't an uncommon occurrence to hear Beth singing nowadays, especially that she'd become Judith's primary caregiver. Although tonight it was different, more melancholy. It puzzled him. Typically, her voice would carry a soft and hopeful tune of life passed by in order to make her father happy. Wordlessly, he straightened up and made his way over to her cell. Maybe seeing her and the baby would help lighten his mood.

Beth's voice continued to carry.

"And you could have it all,

My empire of dirt.

I will let you down,

I will make you hurt."

When he reached the dimly lit cell, Beth's back was to him as she gently rocked the infant back and forth. Daryl cleared his throat.

"Bit sad for her don't you think?"

Beth jolted slightly and spun around. Instead of greeting him with a soft grin he was slowly growing accustomed to, she glared.

"Stuck in my head, I suppose." She said tightly and swiftly turned her attention back to the baby.

Odd.

Over her shoulder, Daryl spotted a plastic box resting on the adjacent desk. Along the ridged sides, scrawled out in loopy feminine handwriting, were three words. Three words which made his chest swell with something that felt a bit like pride.

"Rick said Lil' Ass Kicker's got herself a proper name now."

"Yup,"

"Guess it was Carl who picked it out. Judith," He said, tasting the name on his tongue.

"Mhmm," She hummed in an annoyed tone.

"Can I hold 'err?" He asked after a moment.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, I'm about to put her down."

"Aw, c'mon. Just for a lil' bit?"

"Maybe some other time," She said coldly.

"You bein' serious right now? You always let me hold her."

"I said some other time, Daryl."

Okay, that was it.

"What crawled up your ass?" He growled. "You pissed at me or somethin'?"

"Keep your voice down!" She hissed. "And as a matter of fact, yes, I am pissed at you."

"Well join the fucking club, princess! You and just about everyone else in this damn prison."

"Oh really? Hmm, I can't imagine why." She snapped.

"Don't sass me! I didn't have a choice."

"You left on your own terms! Don't you dare lie to me about choices."

"He's my brother!"

"And we're your family!"

Beth's words stung like a cold hard slap to the face. How fucking dare she say something like that? Who the hell did she think she was? Rick? No, just some dumb girl. Where did she get off, judging him? He wanted to yell, scream at her until his face was purple. She didn't know a damn thing. But before he could even open his mouth, Beth pulled Judith a little closer to her chest and kept talking.

"Rick, Carol, My dad, Carl, Maggie, Glenn, Judith, me," She listed off. "We're you're family now whether you like it or not. I understand that Merle's blood, but that does not change the fact that you left us."

"Y'all would've been just fine without me,"

"Would we? Because I'm not so sure if the group leader having a nervous breakdown really qualifies and yelling at things that aren't there really qualifies as 'just fine'." Beth's voice wavered as her voice grew thick with unshed tears.

"Nervous breakdown? The hell are you talkin' about?" He asked, genuinely confused.

"You didn't hear?"

"Everyone's been avoiding me like the fuckin' plague, who the hell would've told me?"

Beth dropped her eyes to the floor as she fiddled with Judith's blanket.

"When?" Daryl finally sighed.

"The night you didn't come home. We had taken in some survivors that were hiding out in the tombs."

"How many?"

"In the end there were four, the fifth didn't make it."

"Hmm,"

"We were all in the cell block," She went on. "They'd been waiting all day to talk to Rick about staying, joining the group and things like that. Well, Rick finally got there. He said no and they started to beg. That's when it happened. One minute he was having a ration discussion and the next he was screaming 'get out, leave' over and over. At first, I thought he was yelling at the new group but then I figured it out; it was at the catwalk. The completely empty catwalk."

"Jesus," He huffed.

"It was awful." She shook her head. "The next morning he went outside the fence, didn't come back 'til you and Merle showed up. Daryl, he's falling apart. After Lori, everything with the Governor, you leaving…" She trailed off and took a deep breath. "It was all too much too soon and now his sanity is paying the price. So there, that is why I'm pissed at you."

Daryl was at a loss for words. With every bit of that story pouring out of her mouth, he felt his angry resolve fade away and be replaced by something much worse; guilt. His eyes fell once again on the plastic crate turned bassinette. As much as he hated to admit it, Beth was right. He'd abandoned them. He'd walked away when Rick needed him the most. All his life, Daryl had been called a fuck up more times than he could count. By his dad. By his brother. By his friends. Each time, the connotation had stung less and less, and for a while it felt like a mild bruise more than anything else. But right now, the title was real. He had really, truly, honest to God, fucked up this time.

And it hurt like a bitch.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled an eternity later. "I didn't know what I was doin', to be honest. We'd only been out of Woodbury for a few minutes when Merle started stirrin' shit up. Glenn and Rick got pissed off pretty fast and pulled over. Everyone started yellin' and it comes out that they don't want Merle anywhere near the prison."

"So you left." She said.

"Didn't even think about it, he was my brother and I'd already lost him once. Ain't no way I was gonna let that happen again, not when I had a chance to stop it. It was either them or Merle, and I chose Merle."

There it was, all out on the table. Instead of screaming at him again like he expected, Beth simply brushed past him and placed Judith into her make-shift crib. As he watched her curiously, she plopped down on her cot unceremoniously.

"Are you gonna sit down or not?" She asked as she jerked her head towards the empty space on her left.

"Really? That's all you're gonna ask? If I'm gonna sit down?"

"Well what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, call me out. Tell me I'm a piece of shit some more, maybe!"

"Daryl-"

"You're right. I screwed up, Beth! I didn't think and now look what's happened. I fucked up, bad."

"Daryl-"

"What? You said it yourself, I left!"

"Will you let me finish?" Beth asked. "Yes, you did leave and I'm pissed as hell that you did that. But at the end of the day you didn't completely 'fuck up' like you keep saying."

Under normal circumstances, the dirty word falling from her innocent, little mouth would have been highly amusing, however it only bewildered him further. At this point, Daryl gave up all hope trying to understand the girl. Everything she'd been saying was now getting all contradicted. Not ten minutes before, she'd called him out for what he was; a coward. Now, her cold resolve had seemed to evaporate and was replaced by her familiar warmth.

"You may have left, but you also came back. That's what's important." She said gently.

He mulled over her words. Maybe she was right or maybe she wasn't. Either way, the girl had a point. Despite it all, he had come back. That had to count for something, didn't it?

He really hoped so.

A.N: Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it! Again, I'm sorry about the wait, hopefully it won't be so bad next time. Please make sure to drop a review on your way out, I live for your thoughts!