I know it's been a while since I have updated for this story, and I apologize. I haven't forgotten about it and you will all get a double dose of it so happy times;)

As always a giant thank you to my Beta Amonraphoenix who is the BEST EVER!

And to everyone who has taken the time to review, I very much appreciate it!

And now, please enjoy

Chapter 16

Leonardo glanced up as he heard Raphael swear and throw something hard against the brick wall of the garage.

He sheathed his swords, wiping the sweat from his brow as he walked out to confront his irate younger brother. It had been a week and a half since Donatello had regained lucidity and four days since Katherine had been released from the hospital; and Katherine had yet to visit.

Another round of harsh swearing was heard followed by another loud crash as Leonardo rounded the corner to see his brothers standing just outside the doors of the garage.

Raphael was in a rage and Michelangelo didn't look too pleased either. Michelangelo glanced over, taking his gaze away from Raphael who was demolishing the garage, a dark scowl on his face.

"I take it things didn't go well?" Leonardo asked quietly. Katherine's uncle owned a Penthouse somewhere in Manhattan, and after Katherine had been released from the hospital she had gone to stay with her Mother -her stepfather having already returned home- at her mother's very strong insistence. Unfortunately, between the paparazzi and Katherine's mother, neither of his brothers had been able to see Katherine or Holly.

"No." Michelangelo answered bitterly, Raphael seemed too angry to even utter a word. "We can't get close to the building, and Kitten's mom doesn't want us to see either Katherine or Holly. And from what Holly says, Sheila is planning on taking Katherine home tomorrow."

Leonardo felt his heart sink. "So Katherine's decided to take the position?" he asked quietly.

Michelangelo frowned but nodded. "Yeah, looks like it," he replied, voice soft and filled with sadness.

"So she isn't even going to talk to Donny before she leaves?" Leonardo asked incredulous.

Raphael's head snapped up a snarl on his face. He opened his mouth, but quickly snapped his beak closed and stormed off.

"What's up with him?" Leonardo asked. He could understand Raphael being upset, but Donatello was the one they should all be concerned about ay the moment.

Michelangelo shrugged. "He doesn't like the fact that Kitten's mom is stonewalling both of us. I'm just lucky that Holly has been able to call me to tell me what has been going on," Michelangelo growled in frustration.

Michelangelo took a calming breath and looked down at his hands, sorrow and disappointment crossing his features.

Leonardo advanced towards his baby brother, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I'm sure things between you and Holly are going to be fine."

Michelangelo glanced up, but did not look comforted in the least as he pulled away. "You don't get it, Leo. Kitten's mom practically rules her family, all of it. I mean, Kitten's uncle is the one with the cash, but it's Sheila that makes sure everyone stays in line. She doesn't want her daughter or her niece mixed up with a couple of mutant freaks," Michelangelo ground out bitterly. "And the worst part is, I can't really blame her for feeling that way."

Leonardo frowned and managed not to flinch at the truth of Michelangelo's words. He knew that it was going to be hard for any of them to find a woman who could look past the fact that they were mutant turtles, but Leonardo had never even factored extended family members into the equation.

"Mikey-" Leonardo began but Michelangelo just shook his head.

"Holly's leaving too. She's transferring to a Canadian university; the same one Kitten is going to," Michelangelo said miserably, turning and walking away, head down, disheartened and depressed.

Leonardo felt surprised at his brother's words and a pang of heartache rolled through him as his shoulders slumped. He walked to Donatello's room, knocking on the door before entering.

Donatello was awake and reading a magazine with a pencil clutched in his hand as he scribbled something down on a pad of paper.

"Hey, Donny, how are you feeling?" Leonardo asked quietly as he slowly approached his brother's bed.

Donatello looked up and studied him before answering. "Not bad," he answered slowly. "I'm breathing easier, which is nice, and I should be able to get out of bed in another two weeks, if not sooner."

Leonardo nodded as he took a seat by Donatello's bed. He took a deep breath, not knowing how he was going to even tell his brother that his girlfriend was leaving him and not even bothering to say goodbye or trying to work things out before she left.

"Katherine took the position at the university and she's leaving tomorrow," Leonardo blurted out in a rush of words, just wanting to get the bad news out and over with.

Donatello's eyes widened in shock before he quickly looked down at his magazine. "Of course she took the position," Donatello said quietly before he bit his lip, as if he wanted to ask or say something but couldn't allow himself to.

"Donny-" Leonardo began before Donatello cut him off.

"So...no goodbye?" he asked as he fiddled with the pencil in his hand.

"No," Leonardo answered truthfully.

"Did Raph manage to see her today?" Donatello asked softly.

"No," Leonardo answered. "And Mikey didn't get to see Holly either. It looks like Katherine's mother is taking them both from New York."

Donatello looked up at this, his eyes widening in shock before he frowned and looked back down, studying the pencil in his hands intently.

"I see," he answered grimly.

"Donny I-" Leonardo began as a knock sounded on the door.

Leonardo glanced over his shoulder as Michelangelo strode into the room, his hand clutching at his phone, face beaming with hope and excitement. "Holly just called; they aren't leaving, at least not yet. Something about Katherine's mom needing to stay in New York for another couple of weeks, which means we still have time to convince Kitten's mom that we are-"

"What, Mikey, good enough?" Raphael snarled as he strode into the room, anger flowing around him like a dark malignant cloud.

Donatello's expression changed from shock to confusion to carefully shuttered blankness.

"-not freaks," Michelangelo finished softly, shooting an irritated glance towards Raphael that was both hurt and angry.

Raphael snorted. "Good luck with that, Mikey."

"Raph, can I talk to you?" Donatello asked glancing up at their hotheaded brother.

Raphael looked as if he was about to refuse the request but finally gave a curt nod of agreement.

Donatello glanced at Leonardo, who took the hint and escorted Michelangelo out of the room; allowing his two brothers to talk for a moment in private. He closed the door behind him as he followed Michelangelo to the kitchen where his baby brother outlined his plans to get into Katherine's mother's good graces.

Donatello stared at Raphael who glared back at him. Donatello resisted the urge to grind his teeth together in frustrated irritation. "I'm tired of lying to them, Raph," he hissed angrily.

Raphael's eyes narrowed even more. "What the hell am I supposed to do, Donny?" Raphael rumbled as he began to pace back and forth. "Tell them that I stole Kitten back?" he asked, his voice containing a hint of anger and guilt. "That would go over so well."

"You didn't-" Donatello began, but Raphael waved away his protest with a hand.

"Doesn't matter," Raphael ran a hand down his face. "I don't want them getting all stirred up over nothin'."

"Raph-" Donatello began before Raphael cut him off sharply.

"I don't know if she even still wants to be with me, 'kay? For all I know, she's changed her mind about marrying me and is running for the hills, which is fine. I can let her go if it makes her happy, but the thought that her mother is makin' her leave is pissing me off!" Raphael snarled his voice rising steadily with each angry, frustrated word. He continued to wear a path in Donatello's room, pacing back and forth in agitation. "I need to talk to her, but I wasn't able to when she was in the hospital, not with Mikey and Holly always in the room. Mikey never even left me alone with Katherine, not even once. I swear he parked himself in there purposely to make sure I wasn't going to do anything with her; probably on Leo's orders too," he ground out bitterly, but finally stopped pacing and faced Donatello again. "And now that Kitten's in the Penthouse, I can't even get within twenty feet of her."

"Raph-" Donatello tried again but Raphael just shook his head.

"Just drop it, Donny. You just keep on pretendin' that Kitten's your girlfriend because it's better and easier that way. Then if Kitten leaves, Mikey and Leo will be none the wiser and at least only one of my brothers will hate me rather than all three."

Donatello looked down at his fingers which had begun to worry at his blanket. He stilled them before speaking.

"I don't hate you, Raph," he told his brother truthfully, lifting his eyes to meet his brother's smoldering amber gaze. "I could never hate you." The truth was he hated himself more. He hated himself for messing things up with Katherine in the first place, and he was angry and bitter over the whole situation that had caused him to throw her back into Raphael's arms. He couldn't blame Raphael at all, because Raphael loved Katherine. And Donatello knew himself well enough to know that if their situations were reversed he would jump at the chance to have Katherine back, even if it would ostracize him from his brothers, because he loved her that much. The thought of his life without her was an empty, barren wasteland, without hope, light or love, only stark, desolate nothingness.

Raphael only grunted at Donatello's words. He sighed and turned the conversation back to the topic at hand. "And if Katherine doesn't decide to leave what then?" Donatello inquired. "Do you think that Leo and Mikey are going to be welcoming you both with open arms? It will be even worse if they find out we've been lying to them for so long," he warned.

"Donny, I can get through anythin' if Kitten's by my side; even Leo and Mikey's disapproval," Raphael replied with determination.

Donatello frowned as a thought struck him. "How did Katherine agree to keep everything secret if you couldn't even talk to her?" he wondered.

"I told her that you were okay and that even though her 'boyfriend' couldn't be there, me and Mikey were," Raphael answered.

"And she just…went along with that?" Donatello asked incredulous.

Raphael shrugged nonchalantly. "She kinda gave me a funny look but nodded and seemed to go along with it."

Donatello palm slapped his forehead. "Did you ever think that Katherine thought that maybe you said that because you no longer wanted to be with her?"

Raphael blinked in shock for a moment before shaking his head. "Kitten ain't stupid."

"Raphael, Katherine is a woman, it's the first thought that came into my head." Donatello explained carefully.

"Well, maybe she did think that at first, but Kitten knows me better than that, she understood what was goin' on." he growled impatiently.

Donatello studied his brother and then sighed, nodding his head. What was two more weeks of pretending Katherine was still his? he asked himself. After all, he was already enduring the looks of pity and worry from Leonardo, and the plans for getting Katherine's mother to like them from Michelangelo; either way it would all be over soon. "Okay, Raph. Just…don't do anything stupid, okay?"

Raphael glared. "Yeah, like I can do anythin' with this stupid cast," he bit out angrily, motioning with his broken arm. "One week, that's all I gotta wait, then I can get this damn thing off and then...then let's see Kitten's mom try to keep me out," Raphael threatened.

Donatello sat up in bed, and winced, clutching at his plastron as his chest protested his sudden movement. He didn't know where he was for a moment, the room he was occupying was dark. His frantic gaze swept across familiar surroundings as he realized that he was in his room. Donatello breathed out a sigh of relief, trying to calm his frantically pounding heart and stop his sweat covered body from shaking.

He felt as if he had just woken up from some horrible nightmare, but he couldn't seem to remember what it was even about, or if that was what had actually happened. He took a deep calming breath and swallowed. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and pulled his covers back up and over his still trembling body, gently lying back down on his slightly damp sheets.

He squeezed his eyes shut burying his head back in his pillow. He felt oddly worn out and drained, even though all he did was lay around every day; healing turned out to be exhausting work. He felt his body relax and he drifted back into sleep.

Raphael strode past Donatello's door. He thought he heard a noise coming from in his brother's room. Everyone had gone to sleep hours ago, all except Raphael who couldn't seem to sleep anymore. Between his worry about his and Katherine's relationship; his feelings of guilt towards Donatello; his irritation at the situation with Katherine's mother and the nightmares that woke him up in a cold sweat each and every night, sleep was not something he had gotten much of lately.

He listened again and heard only silence. He opened his brother's door, the light from the hallway filtering into his brother's darkened room. Donatello lay on his bed, soundly sleeping.

Raphael sighed, closing the door behind him. At least one of us is able to sleep, he thought to himself bitterly as he walked to his room, expecting to stare at the ceiling for the next several hours.

Donatello jammed the point of his pencil under his cast and scratched at an annoying itch. He was pensive, worried and disheartened. It had been one week since he had a heated discussion with Raphael in his bedroom and even though things hadn't gotten any worse, they hadn't gotten any better either.

Leonardo and Michelangelo had not questioned his relationship with Katherine, only coming in now and then to give him words of encouragement; which had only served to twist the metaphorical knife in his heart even deeper. But he knew he had no one to blame for his current predicament but himself; and he didn't regret what he had done, since it had saved his brother's life. His only problem was that he was still hopelessly in love with Katherine, and he knew that this particular affliction would not vanish any time soon. Katherine had a way of crawling into your heart, and staying there, even when you wanted her gone; at least this metaphor seemed true if even after nearly two years, Raphael had still been hopelessly in love with her.

This thought brought him back to his current problem with Raphael; who was beside himself with hurt, indecision and anger because he still hadn't been able to talk to Katherine. Donatello had tried to calm Raphael down on numerous occasions, but his brother had been too angry and unreasonable to listen to anything he had said, and Donatello was worried that if something didn't change soon, Raphael was going to lose it, and probably to something very stupid. The only thing that had been holding Raphael back was his cast and sling, but both had been removed today and Donatello had a strong premonition that Raphael planned to do something very reckless tonight.

Donatello repressed a sigh and looked down at his cast in annoyance. He knew he should leave it on for at least another week, but he also knew that he needed to stop Raphael from storming Katherine's uncle's penthouse like some errant knight in shining armour, acting like he is rescuing her from a fire breathing dragon rather than from her mother's good intentions.

Donatello ripped the Velcro from his removable cast. He could understand Raphael's motives as he himself was supressing his own need to go to the Penthouse. He wanted to see her one last time before she left for good. He needed to touch her, just to make sure she was alive and well, and happy. If she was all of these things, he could let her go; to Canada, or into Raphael's arms, he had resigned himself to either possibility and had accepted them, even if he didn't like either of them.

He carefully slid his leg from the bed and then the other. Over the past week he had secretly been getting in and out of bed on his own. And although he knew he was a little weak and his leg still ached fiercely from not being completely healed yet, he knew he needed to have another talk with Raphael.

As he stood, his legs shook slightly, threatening to collapse beneath him, but he acknowledged that he felt good; better than he had in weeks. He took a deep breath, his lungs and ribs aching as he did so, but better than they had been. He tested his leg again and although it throbbed slightly, he felt that it was healed enough to walk on for a short distance.

He walked towards the door, turning the knob and opened it wide, revealing Katherine, standing in the doorway, hand raised as if ready to knock.

"Katherine," he breathed out in awed shock.

"Hello, Donatello," she said with a slightly strained smile as he reached out a shaking hand, dragging his fingers across her cheek; just to make sure she was real. Her skin was warm and velvety beneath his fingertips, confirming that she was now -somehow and for some reason- standing in front of him just outside of his bedroom.

His fingers slid further across her cheek burying themselves into the hair at the back of her head. He pulled her forward and into him; his lips claiming hers as he stepped back into his room, dragging her with him and kicking the door shut with his foot. He devoured her, his hands touching every part of her body, holding her tightly against his own and not thinking about anything but the fact that she was in his arms.

He didn't think about Raphael, or the fact that Katherine was engaged to him. All he could think about was that Katherine had died. She had lain of the floor, pale, limp, cold...lifeless...

Dead.

Losing her to Raphael was nothing compared to losing her to death, and he needed to know that she was alive; that they were both alive. The month they had spent apart suddenly contracted into mere moments because he was back in the library, trapped and shouting desperately at Raphael to save the woman they both loved. He was back in the living room watching as she was dragged up from the cold depths of her watery grave.

Every sense he had burned with the need to possess her; his breath needed to be her breath, her heartbeat needed to be his. He needed to feel her surrounding him, warm, vibrant...alive.

He pulled her back twisting and pushing her down and onto his bed, his hands roving up her bare legs, slipping beneath her dress to her underwear.

Katherine never wore dresses, not unless she had to. The fact that she was wearing a dress right now didn't even register with him, nor did he even attempt to temper or cease his lust fuelled actions.

Katherine was speaking to him between hungry kisses, but he couldn't hear her words over his rapidly beating heart, and the blood that rushed through his ears. All he knew for sure was that her body responded to his each and every frantic touch and need filled caress.

He trailed kisses down her throat, moving the fabric of her clothing away from her shoulder. He grabbed at her underwear and tore it from her body as he bit into the flesh of her shoulder. She gasped, his bite being hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to break skin. He knew he was marking her, claiming her as his, but the bite wasn't enough. He slipped his pants down just enough so that he was able to spring free, positioning himself at her entrance-

"Donatello, stop!" Katherine shouted at him, pushing him away. He released her shoulder and looked down at her in momentary confusion, as if unable to fathom why she would want him to stop. Her eyes were wide and filled with tears, agony written across her features. In-between hungry kisses she had tried to stop him, but he hadn't been able to hear her words.

He blinked, as he realized what he had been about to do. His confusion turned to horror. He had not only practically forced himself upon her, but had nearly betrayed his brother as well.

He continued to look into her shimmering eyes, shock and revulsion at what he had just done -at what he had been about to do- rolling through him. The tears that had been swimming in her eyes fell from the edges of her eyes and Donatello touched his forehead to hers. He closed his eyes against the pain that he could see swimming around in her expressive green depths. "I'm sorry," he whispered miserably; only he wasn't quite sure if he was actually apologizing for his actions, or if he was in reality apologizing for messing everything up so badly that the woman he loved was now engaged to be married to his brother.

Truthfully, it was probably a little bit of both.

"I know," she whispered, because she did know.

He clenched his teeth together tightly, trying to gain some sort of semblance of control over his mind and body, and only partially succeeded. He was having trouble stomping down and repressing the primal, visceral, life affirming need to claim the woman he loved; even now, knowing how very, very wrong his actions were. He tried to move himself from her body, but couldn't. It was on the tip of his tongue to beg her to leave his brother and run away with him, only he knew she would decline the invitation, not because she wouldn't want to, but because neither of them would be able to live with the resulting guilt of hurting Raphael like that.

He opened his eyes, lifting his head up and looking into his ex-lover's bright moss green gaze. Her eyes were filled not with fear of him, as he had expected, but rather, need of him, and desire for him as well. They stared at each other and didn't say anything, they didn't need to. It was as if they both had a moment of absolute and total clarity. Katherine loved him, wanted him, would be happy with him, but she loved Raphael as well, and Donatello's love was holding her back; not allowing her to fully love Raphael.

"You have to let me go," she whispered. "Please, Donatello. Please let me go," she begged and he knew she wasn't just talking about him physically releasing her from his bed.

He stared at her intently for a moment, his mind, body and heart all warring with each other before he finally murmured, "I can't." Because he couldn't. It wasn't in his nature to just let something go. He was logical and used his mind in the pursuit of answers and solutions to problems; some mundane, others complex, but he had never been able to just give up. He pursued and persevered until he found his answers; but these were scientific and mathematical problems, his relationship with Katherine was neither mathematical nor scientific, yet in a way it was. He loved her because of her ability to turn his world completely upside down. She was a puzzle he could never solve, but tried to anyway. She perplexed, fascinated, amused and interested him. He connected with her in ways that he never believed he would be able to do with another living, breathing person.

He was not good with emotions or relationships in general. He tried to be a good friend, a good brother, and a good son, but he would fall into abstraction, becoming obsessed and selfish, indulging his own pursuits and whims. But Katherine wouldn't let him, not anymore. She had dragged him out of his laboratory and into life and he found he loved living each day free of his machines, inventions and the constant pursuit of answers, because she was his greatest discovery.

She would fascinate him for eternity, and he couldn't walk away from that, even though he knew he should, because his brother's happiness and hers depended upon it.

He had never thought of himself as selfish, that tended to come out most in Raphael's personality, but apparently he was as well. He wasn't going to let Katherine go unless she told him that she didn't love him, and he knew she couldn't.

Of course unlike Raphael he wasn't a complete and total bastard. He may not be able to let her go, but it didn't mean that he couldn't set her free.

"Katherine, I know I shouldn't have..." he brushed a finger across her cheek, leaning down and kissing her again, savouring the moment because he knew it would probably be the last time he would ever feel his lips upon hers; the warmth of her body pressed up against his. His kiss became desperate, and it was nearly a physical pain to pull away from her lips, but if he didn't, he wasn't going to be able to control himself. He would beg her for just one more time. One last moment for them to enjoy the feel of each other's bodies moving together as they both pursued the pleasure they could find in each other's arms.

He pulled away and lightly kissed her forehead, his eyes still closed. He clutched her to him tightly. "I'm sorry." Donatello apologized again, as she let out a choked sob. He didn't know what Katherine's plans were; didn't know if she had indeed taken the job in Canada, or if she had changed her mind. He didn't know how much influence her mother had on her decision and didn't even know if she still planned on marrying his brother anymore. But he didn't want his current actions to influence her decision. She needed to marry Raphael, no matter how much his heart hurt at this thought. He wasn't trying to steal her back -even though his actions clearly supported this assumption- and she needed to know this.

He opened his eyes and looked into hers, which were filled with pain, regret, guilt, and indecision. "Please, don't leave him. I know that what I just did was... it was a horrible mistake and it was wrong of me to...to try to take you away from Raph."

Katherine closed her eyes, shaking her head back and forth. He tried to understand what was going on in her mind as he apologized to her, but he couldn't because she had closed her eyes.

"I love you, Katherine, and I can't let you go, but I want for you to be with Raph and be happy with him," he whispered, even as they both knew that his words were half truth and half lie. He slid from her body, standing as he adjusted himself.

Katherine scrambled from the bed, hastily smoothing her dress back down over her hips. She quickly brushed the tears away from her cheeks and tried to fix her hair. Donatello looked at her appearance which was bothering him. She wore an above the knee white filmy, gauzy dress with a long white jacket. Her hair though still slightly messy was skillfully done, and she wore make-up and jewelry, which was unusual for her. He took in her hair, make-up and the white dress and felt horror roll through him.

A bride.

That was what she looked like; a woman who was about to run away -to elope against the wishes of her family- but wanted to at least look somewhat bride-like.

Katherine wasn't leaving his brother, she was marrying him. At least, that had been her intent until Donatello had taken his ex-girlfriend -his brother's current fiancé- and dragged her to his bed so that he could have sex with her because he needed to.

"Donatello-" Katherine began quietly, her voice shaking, a slight sob in the back of her throat .

"Katherine, this is my fault," he said, striding up to her and cupping her cheek with his hand. "I know you love me, and maybe you love me more than Raph, maybe you don't. Maybe you think you owe me something, I don't know, but what just happened, Raph can never find out about, because it would destroy him. But I need to know, have you married him?" he asked the question as the possibility that Raphael had already run to Katherine's rescue and married her in a quick ceremony with a blind priest tumbled through his mind.

"No," Katherine whispered miserably with a shake of her head. "Why would you think..." She looked down at herself. "Oh." The word was barely audible. "M-my mother..." Katherine couldn't even finish her sentence as she tipped her head back, trying to blink back the tears. She wiped away a few tears that threatened to escape and looked back at him. "I needed to make sure you were okay. And...and... I have to s-say goodbye," she told him softly a hitch of misery in her voice.

Even though her words were not unexpected, they sent a wave of heartbreak and gloom rolling through him anyway. His mind then flew to Raphael.

Katherine was leaving his brother.

Part of him was relieved that he had at least not committed the unforgivable betrayal of trying to have sex with his brother's fiancé, but at the same time, part of him was devastated for his brother losing the woman he loved; the woman they both loved.

At the same time he knew he had to try to stop her. "You can't leave him," he whispered as he shook his head back and forth.

She gave him a miserable look. "After what just happened, I don't have a choice, Donatello," her voice broke. Donatello felt his body and heart go numb with shock. Katherine hadn't been planning on leaving Raphael, and now she was because of what he had just done.

She turned, quickly rushing to the door. Donatello followed, grabbing her arm in an almost painful grip. "Don't," he snapped harshly.

She turned and roughly pushed him away. "Don't," she hissed. "You...you..." she seemed at a loss for words, her eyes sparking with misery and anger, all mixed together in a swirl of conflicting emotions. "I love you," she finally choked out and Donatello felt his heart skip a beat. He took a careful step towards her, but she pushed him away again, as if his very presence hurt her.

"I was going to marry Raphael, but coming in here today, seeing you, remembering everything that happened on the island; the earthquake and tsunami, being trapped and dying... I knew kissing you was wrong, but forgivable. Having you drag me onto your bed and being tempted to just give into what I wanted would have been unforgivable. I wanted to make love to you so badly that my body was on fire with the need of it." She swallowed and continued. "I can't marry Raphael when I am still in love with you, Donatello"

"Katherine," his voice was gentle and hitched with emotion. He reached out for her, but she avoided his touch.

"And I can't be with you when I am still in love with Raphael," she whispered wretchedly. "I nearly died, and I was so scared I was going to lose both of you. I couldn't imagine my life without either of you in it. But I love you both, and it isn't fair to you and it isn't fair to him. You shouldn't have to be content with half my heart, Donatello, and neither should Raphael."

"Katherine, don't do this, don't leave him. We'll figure something out," he pleaded again but she shook her head angrily back and forth, wiping away more tears with the back of her hand.

"I won't be the one responsible for destroying yours and Raphael's relationship, Donatello. You don't want Raphael to have a broken heart, and he doesn't want you to have a broken heart either. We are all playing this game where no one wants anyone's heart to get broken, but the reality is that all our hearts are breaking anyway, because we know someone's heart is going to get broken." She took a quick breath before continuing. "It's better if I just walk away from both of you. At least then you both will have the opportunity to be happy with someone else; someone who can love you with their whole heart."

Donatello stared at her in panicked desperation. He understood what she was saying, but at the same time, he wanted her to understand that he didn't care if his heart was broken. He had been living with a broken heart ever since he had broken up with Katherine and forced her into Raphael's arms; and he couldn't bear being responsible for Katherine breaking Raphael's heart. Which was exactly what Katherine was talking about, but... "Katherine-" he tried again.

Katherine closed her eyes and shook her head knowing his thoughts. Donatello realized that there was nothing he could say that would change her mind, and she knew it. She quickly turned and opened the door, gently closing it behind her.

He stared at his door with a grim, sick feeling sliding around in his gut. He stumbled back falling onto his bed and he placed his head in his hands. He didn't know how he was ever going to face Raphael again.

She had planned on marrying Raphael until he had messed everything up by reminding Katherine how much she loved him, and how much he loved her.

He thought of striding out and telling Raphael what had happened, but knew what he was thinking was tantamount to suicide. When Raphael found out that Donatello had dragged Katherine to his bed and almost made love to her, devouring her, and then essentially being responsible for Katherine leaving him, Raphael would probably kill him. And if his brother did kill him it wouldn't be like he wouldn't have deserved it because Donatello believed that there was a small, dark and petty part of his mind that had been trying to steal Katherine back.

It was possible he knew that Katherine would leave them both and had been determined to see that if he couldn't have Katherine, that Raphael couldn't have her either. But he quickly dismissed this thought. He didn't think that he could ever have predicted that Katherine would just up and leave both of them, which was the problem. Her unpredictability drew him to her, and the thought of her leaving forever, never to be in his life again, hurt him more than any physical pain he had ever endured.

Donatello stood and began to pace around his room, ignoring the pain that was throbbing in his leg as he did so. He tried to figure out a way to stop Katherine from breaking off her engagement with Raphael. He ran a hand down his face. He had no idea how he was going to make this right, and that was because he couldn't.

He was going to have to live for the rest of his life with the crushing guilt of having destroyed his brother's relationship and future happiness.

An ugly part of himself almost wished he had made love to Katherine, because if he was going to destroy Raphael's trust, happiness, and relationship with both himself and Katherine, he should have destroyed everything utterly and completely. Then Raphael would have reason to kill him, which would have at least spared him the feelings of guilt, regret and devastation he was suffering now.

Thoughts and opinions are always welcome, and I know rough chapter:( Lots of drama, hmmm watching too many CW shows I ah well hope everyone enjoyed:)