Thank you to my Beta Aithusa.

WARNING: This chapter comes with some lime.

Ellie sat outside on the steps of the back deck in early January wrapped in a blanket. She cradled a steaming mug of hot cocoa in her hands as she gazed up at the stars. Even though Tom had been back in school for a week now she was still trying to relax from the hectic holiday season.

x-x-x-x

It all started the Monday following Ellie's night out. Brian must have been waiting for her because as she reached the stairs out of the station's car park he appeared out of the shadows and nearly scared the living daylights out of her. His head was bowed as he ashamedly apologized for his behaviour and he promised to leave her alone if she so wished it. Now, this wasn't such a bad start to the day. It alleviated some of the apprehension Ellie had had about going to work that day. It was during Ellie's lunch break that her day took a turn for the worse.

Alec checked the post when it arrived that morning and found a letter from the Wessex County Jail. Joe was requesting to see her and the boys at some point over the holidays. Almost the minute Ellie's break began Alec rang her to let her know. That led to a very heated call to the jail that evening while Tom was at his last football practice of the year. Joe hadn't listened. He tried to contacting them again before Christmas, this time by phone. Thankfully Alec had been the one to pick up and put a quick end to it all.

Then there was the usual rush to get Christmas shopping done and the house decorated. Ellie decided she wanted a real tree that year and piled everyone into the car. In the end it had taken them the entire afternoon to decide on a tree and the rest of the evening to decorate it. They hung stockings by the hearth with each of their names written in glitter glue. Tom made Alec's new one and hung it between his mother's and his own stocking while Fred's was placed on the end beside Tom's. They kept the outside decorations simple, with white net lights on the hedge and strings of red and green lights around the veranda posts. A wreath on the door was the finishing touch.

Christmas dinner was another matter all together. To celebrate being in a new house and surviving the restart of their lives Ellie went all out, or at least she tried to. Alec ended up having to save the turkey while Ellie flapped a towel at the smoke detector.

Olly sat on the couch with Tom, both laughing their hearts out, while Lucy calmed down a frightened Fred. Somehow, Olly ended up with all the burnt pieces. Ellie still hadn't figured out how Alec arranged that. They finished the night off by leaving a glass of milk with a plate of cookies and a few sticks of carrots by the hearth for Santa and his reindeer. Alec had the milk and carrots while Ellie, Lucy and Olly shared the cookies and some wine from dinner after the boys had been put to bed. All the while Alec and Ellie interrogated Lucy and Olly on the rather large present they had brought over.

That night's sleeping arrangements were a bit different from the usual due to the lack of beds and Ellie's want to keep the usual sleeping arrangements secret. Olly had already made comments on how close she was to Alec and Lucy had been eyeing her all day. She could already hear the comments should they learn exactly how close Ellie had become to her former boss. As such Tom was sleeping with Alec, having given up his bed for Olly, and Ellie and Lucy shared the air mattress in what had once been Ellie's room. It was the first and only night since Ellie's bad date that she didn't shared the bed with Alec.

It turned out that the rather large present was a wall mounted flat screen telly. Tom was ecstatic and demanded it be set up immediately. Alec and Olly got right on it, despite Ellie's protests that lifting a telly was not on the doctor's list of light chores and exercises Alec was able to do. While the men set up the telly Tom ran upstairs and was furiously riffling through unpacked boxes in his room for his gaming console. The rest of the morning and early afternoon was spent locked in a heated Mario Kart tournament, in which Alec surprised everyone and won almost all his races. When Ellie questioned him about his unexpected skill, Alec just said that he used to play the game a lot a few years back. Ellie took that to mean that it had been his daughter's favourite game.

New Year's was no less eventful. The McGuire's invited them to celebrate at their house. Every year their entire street would get together and throw a party to ring in the New Year, complete with one house moving their massive telly against the front window so they could count down and watch the fireworks in London.

Overall the night was rather enjoyable. It felt great to smile and laugh so much, and to have hours of pleasurable conversation, even with the awkward assumptions that she and Alec were married. Tom had run wild in the street with Michael and the other children in attendance, his face sweaty and pink with a huge grin plastered across it. Alec on the other hand had mostly stayed on the outer edges of the crowd, keeping a close eye on Tom at all times and more often than not had Fred with him. He looked every inch the grumpy, over protective dad he had probably been. Ellie could see how almost everyone thought they were married. The only person who didn't have much fun, because even Alec had smiled and let loose a laugh a couple of times throughout the night, was Fred. He hadn't much liked all the noise and people milling about. At midnight while everyone else cheered Fred had started to cry, way past his bed time as it was. Ellie was so busy with Fred that she hadn't noticed Alec sneak up behind her. He grabbed her around the waist and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"What the hell was that for?" Ellie had asked.

"It's a new year and I've had a glass of wine." Was all Alec said before walking off.

And boy what a new year it had been. Only two weeks in and already so much had happened. Fred had entered into his repeat everything phase and his new favourite word was 'hell,' much to Ellie's dismay and everyone else's amusement. The toddler had also started calling Alec 'Da!'. Ellie was very thankful that Tom was a normal adolescent and carried his phone everywhere, because Alec's face was priceless and she was glad to have a photo of the moment.

Alec had also been cleared to return to work, albeit only as a pencil pusher for at least a month, but he was getting his badge and office back. Ellie was happy for him, both as his friend and his new landlord. They had reached the decision that Alec would move in with the Miller family permanently, paying rent for his room and buying the groceries every other week.

x-x-x-x

Ellie sipped on her hot cocoa and picked out the constellations she knew. She didn't know many but it was still a relaxing activity. She turned her head when she heard Alec approach.

"You coming to bed?" He asked.

"In a bit." Ellie answered and looked back to the sky. "I rarely get the chance to just sit and stargaze anymore."

"I'm sure Tom will have plenty of sleepovers during the summer when it's warmer." Alec hinted.

"I know but the cold air makes everything look so much more crisp and in focus. In the summer the stars appear hazy." Ellie said.

"Come inside Ellie."

"Joe took me stargazing, you know." Ellie suddenly said. "On our first date and then every year on our anniversary. I used to love it, just lying in the grass next to him and staring up at the sky. We'd sometimes see a satellite or, if we were really lucky, a shooting star. I can't even look at the stars without thinking of him now."

Ellie could sense Alec didn't know what to do about her sudden melancholy. She heard him shift his weight and wondered if he was opening and closing his mouth, trying to decide on what to say.

"What brought this on?" He finally asked.

Ellie took a deep breath. "The wedding anniversary is tomorrow."

"Shit." Alec swore.

He moved quickly, sitting beside Ellie and pulling her into his side. He nestled Ellie's head on his shoulder and rested his cheek against her crown. Alec rubbed her arm as she silently shook. Whether it was from tears or anger he didn't know, both were justified given the situation.

"He killed Danny." Ellie whispered. "He killed our best friends' son and then had the nerve to request to see Tom and Fred for Christmas." Ellie's voice was steadily rising. "He's a child killer! What type of shit mum does he take me for that I'd allow my children anywhere near a man like him?"

"You're not a shit mum." Alec tried to reassure her.

"Almost every night I dream about bashing his head in with a hammer and then calmly wiping the bits of brain off afterwards." Ellie said. "And I wake up every time wondering if I'm just as bad as he is."

"Ellie, you're not."

"But what if I am, Alec?" Ellie asked. "Tom chose this specific weekend to sleepover at Michael's for a reason."

"You don't know that." Alec said.

"Yes, I do. Tom even said as much. He said he didn't want to be around this weekend because he knew what this weekend was."

Alec didn't know what to say. Ellie had been through hell; she was probably still travelling through it and would continue to do so until Joe was sentenced for his crime. She had every right to dream about bashing in her ex-husband's head after everything the man had put her family and the Latimers through. He'd certainly had the odd the dream about doing something similar to Tess when he'd found out what she'd done.

Taking the mug from Ellie's hands, Alec stood up.

"Hey!" Ellie protested the loss of her warm drink.

"Come on." Alec held out his hand. "It's too cold to deal with this outside."

Ellie took stock of what Alec was wearing for the first time since he's come outside. He was dressed for bed in a pair of sweats and a jumper that probably had his usual T-shirt underneath. No wonder he was cold. Alec has undoubtedly thought he'd only be outside for a minute or two.

Alec gave Ellie an expectant look when she didn't take his hand at first. It spurred her into action. She grabbed his hand and Alec hauled her to her feet.

He didn't let go of Ellie's hand once she was on her feet. Instead, he led her back into the house, placing the mug on the counter as they passed, and up the stairs to their room. Grabbing her night clothes, Alec placed them in her arms before gently guiding Ellie to the bathroom. He then took a seat on the edge of the bed and waited for Ellie to finish her nightly routine.

A few minutes later Ellie emerged still looking absolutely miserable. She tossed her clothes in the general direction of the laundry hamper and most of them landed on the floor beside it. Looking at Alec, Ellie stayed by the bathroom door, waiting for some kind of direction. Alec spread his arms. Ellie was sitting on his lap and crying into his neck in a second, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. One of his hands found its way into her short hair, the other going around her waist, splayed wide across her lower back, holding her tightly to him. The position was eerily reminiscent to when Ellie had broken down and cried in Joe's arms after coming home one night after Danny's body was discovered. Again Ellie was thankful for all the hair Alec sported, it made it impossible to mistake his arms for Joe's. He was also thinner than Joe, and taking a gulping breath, he used a different brand of soap.

"Sometimes I wish I had never met Joe." Ellie murmured after she'd calmed down a bit. "But then I look at Tom or Fred and feel so guilty. I wouldn't have my beautiful boys without him."

"It's alright." Alec whispered. He started to rub tiny circles into the small of her back.

Ellie sniffled. "No, it's not. I look at them sometimes and all I can see is the pieces of Joe in their appearance or mannerisms and I just... I just..."

"Shh, Ellie." Alec continued to comfort her. "Shh."

A few minutes went by in silence with Ellie's appreciation for the man who had stolen her job and ended up her only friend growing every second.

"Help me forget." Ellie whispered.

"What?"

"Let me pretend I never met Joe, that he isn't the father of my children."

Gently, Alec pushed Ellie back so he could see her face.

"Please." She begged. "Help me forget. Let me pretend just for a little while."

Alec let out a sigh. "Ellie..."

"I'm not asking for a shag." Ellie said. She laid her hand over Alec's heart and gave him a weak smile. "No strenuous activities, I remember."

Alec snorted.

"If not a shag then what were you suggesting?" Alec asked.

"I..." Ellie wet her lips. "I don't know. A good snog maybe."

"A snog?" Alec raised an eyebrow.

"You know what, forget I ever mentioned it if you're going to be like that."

Ellie moved to get off him but Alec tightened his grip around her waist. He slowly raised his hand to her cheek and brushed away a tear while searching her eyes. For what, Ellie didn't know. Hesitation? Doubt?

"You're sure?" Alec finally asked.

Ellie nodded. "Please."

Alec's response was to slide the hand on Ellie's cheek into her short, curly hair and draw her face closer to his. Ellie closed her eyes as their lips met. It was a chaste kiss and it was accompanied with the itch of whiskers but it felt more natural than any kiss Ellie had shared with Joe in the months preceding his arrest. Drawing back slowly, Ellie opened her eyes. She watched Alec, his eyes still closed, an expression of shock across his face.

"Alright?" Ellie whispered.

Alec opened his eyes. There was a wistful, longing quality to his brown eyes. He nodded and licked his lips.

"Aye." He answered. "It's just... I haven't..." He averted his gaze. "I haven't been with anyone since my divorce, I've barely had any physical contact past a handshake in as many years until I moved in with you lot." He returned his eyes to Ellie's. "I'd forgotten what it felt like."

"It did feel pretty good, didn't it?" Ellie couldn't keep the soft smile from her lips.

"Aye."

Alec leaned in and kissed her honestly. He drew her bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled on it. He couldn't tell which of them moaned, maybe it was both, when he ran his tongue over Ellie's lips and she granted him access to her mouth. A fire began to burn low in his abdomen that Alec hadn't felt in three years, as Ellie ran the hand she'd had over his heart up his chest and over his shoulder to bury in the hair at the nape of his neck. Her left hand roamed all over his torso.

A shiver ran up Ellie's spine when she felt Alec's hand slip under her night shirt and make contact with the skin of her lower back. Some small part of her mind screamed that this was wrong. This man had stolen her job, he would be her boss again next week and by solving Danny's murder he had ruined her life. But Ellie's heart and body were what ruled her now and they said that this felt right. This man was the only person who stayed when her life fell to pieces, and he was her best friend.

The open mouth kisses he was now bestowing to her jaw, the rasp of his scruff against her skin, were heaven. Ellie moaned and let her head roll back, giving Alec more access to her neck. He nosed the collar of her shirt out of the way and latched onto the crook of her neck. He worked the skin, nipping at it with his teeth then soothing the spot with his tongue. There was no doubt in Ellie's mind, Alec Hardy was trying his damnest to give her a hickey. Thank goodness Tom wasn't coming home until Sunday afternoon. The hickey had a full day and a half to fade... or she'd have a day and half to proudly wear it around the house.

Shifting her weight so that Ellie sat with a knee on either side of Alec elicited a moan from both of them. Why hadn't she sat like this from the beginning? Alec had pulled her flush against him. Ellie was now positioned so that any small amount of movement gave them both a great amount of pleasure and they weren't holding back, both grinding their hips into the other.

It felt like a bucket of ice water was poured over her as Ellie tore herself from Alec. She sat there, arms around his neck, looking into his brown eyes, both of them panting as she tried to discern what had interrupted them. It came to her a second later; Fred was crying.

Ellie scrambled off Alec and out of the room. Alec looked after her then ran a hand through his hair, releasing a deep breath, before placing it over his rapidly beating heart. It had been a long time since it could beat so fast without making him feel feint or dizzy. Alec took more deep breaths. The situation had escalated far more quickly than he had intended. If he wasn't careful Alec feared the consequences.

Twenty minutes after she had run to Fred Ellie had tried everything she could think of to soothe the toddler back to sleep. In the kitchen, bouncing him on her hip, her second attempt to see if he was hungry had ended that same as the first, with the bottle on the floor. Fred was two, he was sleeping through the night, and if he did awaken the problem was easily solved but now it was like he was a few months old again.

She saw Alec come downstairs and grimaced. "Sorry for keeping you up."

He shook his head and held out the baby thermometer.

Ellie frowned.

"What?"

"Just try it." Alec said.

Ellie took the proffered thermometer, it was already on and ready to use. It took some manoeuvring because Fred didn't want anything near his ear but Ellie was eventually able to take the toddler's temperature. A frown crossed her face when she saw the reading; Fred had a slight fever. A knowing look was shared between Alec and Ellie when she passed the thermometer to him to see. As Alec went to clean and put the thermometer away and get the children's medicine, Ellie readied a sippy cup of water for Fred to wash away that nasty taste of medicine that everyone hated and tried to decide the best way to administer the bitter medicine. Past experience with Tom as a toddler was giving no easy answers. In the end it took three attempts and a lot of wailing to get Fred to take all his medicine. The poor boy reached for Alec after it all, asking for his "Da" to hold him. He wanted nothing to do with his mother at the moment. So Ellie cleaned up while Alec stayed in the kitchen soothing her son. When she finished Alec was swaying gently by the back door, looking up at the night sky with Fred fast asleep in his arms. Ellie joined them, gently running her fingers through the soft curls on her toddler's head.

"How did you know he had a fever?" She asked Alec.

"He was acting the same way Daisy would before she'd wake up at night with a fever." Alec replied.

He was rubbing little circles on Fred's back. Ellie frowned, she hadn't noticed Fred acting any different from normal.

"It's not really that he was acting differently, like he was sick." Alec continued when he saw her frown. "But I could just feel something was a little off about him. It's hard to explain, really."

"It's called a father's intuition." Ellie supplied.

Ellie rested her head on Alec's shoulder, and he removed his hand from Fred's back to wrap around her shoulder. Ellie's hand replaced his on Fred's back while the other arm went around Alec's waist. They stayed like that for sometime, their breathing the only noise. It was a bit surprising how natural Ellie felt upon realizing that somehow or another Alec Bloody Hardy, the grumpy, anti-social extraordinaire, had managed to become a part of her family and that in some extraordinary way her family had managed to get past the iron clad barriers of his fixed heart.

Belatedly, just as Ellie was about to slip into sleep sometime after they'd put Fred back to bed, she realized that she had finally learned the name of his daughter; Daisy. Ellie smiled to sleepily herself. Alec didn't seem like the kind of man to willingly name his daughter after a flower.

On Sunday afternoon Ellie made sure that the collar of her shirt covered the still very prominent hickey at the base of her neck as she welcomed Tom home. The boy almost immediately presented her with a tin of home-made chocolate cookies.

"I knew what this weekend meant and how hard it would be for you so I asked Mrs. McGuire to help me make them." Tom explained.

Ellie doubted she had ever held Tom as tightly as did then.

This is the last chapter before I start in on series 2 material. As such chapters will take even longer to update because I need to re-watch episodes, sometimes multiple times. It does seem that chapter are slowly getting longer though^^