It was a simple task. Just grab her hand. Shino, you can grab her hand. Shino, man the hell up, and grab her hand. You know what to do, just grab her hand. Just move your arm, and grab it. Grab it. GRAB IT!
Shino discovered that despite how comfortable he was around Anko, he was still hesitant to intitate contact between them. She had given him a few hugs, in the streets and at the beginning of their second and current dates, but he was less than satisfactory in showing physical affection. So, in a move so stupid only Naruto would have thought of it first, Shino willed his kikaichu to move his arm and grab the hand of Anko Mitarashi. His... girlfriend?
Their second date had been at Shimora's as well, but for their third Anko asked Shino to take her to his favorite restaurant. He was more than happy to take her to a lovely vegetarian-centric restaurant he had been going to since he was 14 in the center of town. He had his favorite salad, and she had chikin curry on rice. The 'chikin' was made of soy, walnuts, and a few other ingredients. Anko gave it a 7 out of 10 saying it didn't taste all that much like chicken, but decent none the less. And now they were taking a scenic walk in the forest, and he wanted to be more romantic, and he was acting like Hinata! He was not Hinata! (He loved Hinata like a sister, but seriously.)
Anko raised an eyebrow as she felt his hand in hers. "Finally, we have been walking in here for fifteen minutes. Half the guys I know would have pulled me behind a tree for a make out session a while ago." Shino tensed at the thought of his own caution and fears. "Then again, half the guys I know are assholes. And the overlap between being an ass and pulling me behind the trees is extremely high." Shino relaxed.
"Then it is good to hear that I am unlikely to be among the assholes you know." Shino responded.
Anko smirked while grabbing a firmer hold of her hand. " Maybe, maybe not. It depends on my definition of asshole, not yours, now doesn't it." Suddenly she was pulling him off the trail and leading him behind a tree.
Shino's eyes went wide behind his shades. Was Anko really pushing him to take this step? He had been a blubbering idiot a minute before in grabbing her hand. And now kissing and tongues? Who the hell did she think he was, Casanova?
She whipped him into the tree and softly held him in place, his back against the trunk. Shino gulped nervously, betraying his normally pristine abilities of non-emotiveness. He wasn't sure what to with his hands in the least. Part of him wanted to pull Anko close for this while the other part of him wanted to prepare for anything by keeping his hands near his side. She gently removed one hand from blocking his exit, her other hand on his left side near his hip. Gently, she reached up to his face and Shino reacted, moving forward in expectation of a kiss. Then, carefully, she grabbed the side of his sunglasses and slipped them off, letting her look into his eyes. Shino felt a little out of his element, but he was okay. He moved his face closer to her, letting his brown eyes peer deeply into hers.
"My definition of asshole is either a snake bastard sensei, a follower of that snake bastard sensei, someone who would follow that snake bastard sensei, someone who would eat with that snake bastard sensei, and finally anyone who would bathe with that snake bastard sensei." And Anko was skipping off, his sunglasses adorned on her face. Shino felt the heat in his face leave him and he followed her move. She knew she could have fun with him, because he would let her. He would walk all over him, because it was in his nature to do so. Unless...
With a move that was better suited for Kiba, Shino grabbed Anko's rear as he walked by her and began to walk a step ahead.
He felt her eye raise. "Kid, you do not want to play grabass with me. I'm the Jounin Grabass World Champion. You ain't even semi-pro yet."
He was curious. "Is there really a Grabass World Championship, or is this a self proclaimed flirt?" Naruto and Kiba would be yelling at him for calling out flirting, but he was legitimately curious. He looked back at her for her response.
She nodded. "Yup, I beat the Kazekage's sister, the one screwing the Nara, in it last week for her title. Said she beat some idiot in Stone Country who had the crown." Shino found himself wanting to reach jounin level just to play along, when he realized she told him in a sarcastic tone. He walked back to Anko, took his glasses back, put them on, and grabbed her ass again for good measure. The adrenaline from their near kiss gave him the courage to do this. His kikaichu as well.
She laughed at him. "Oh, so you want to play, now do you. My little boy toy doesn't know what he is getting into." Her face turned more playful and competitive.
"Boy toy? Is that what I am now?" He knew she was playing around, and decided to amuse her.
"Come one, be respectful. Anko Mitarashi's boy toy has a noble list of past toy's. Heck, that one eyed Hokage used to be my boy toy." She bragged about Kakashi.
"Let us just say I have higher hopes than being your boy toy." Shino bluntly told her.
Anko raised an eyebrow. "Really now? You don't wish merely to be my boy toy? Well then, how about you beat me in a game of grabass and then we can talk about you moving on up, oh Monsieur Boy Toy." And with that, she reached around and grabbed his ass. With a cheeky grin and blowing him a kiss, Anko sped off, heading away from the Aburame boy.
Flustered but not finished, Shino gave chase. He began to push himself to close the distance between the two of them, only realizing he was suddenly in front of her the truth. Using his kikaichu, he removed the genjutsu he had been placed under (probably when she blew the kiss). When the genjutsu fell, he felt Anko standing beside him, casually groping his ass. First with her left hand, then by her right hand. She was muttering to himself.
"Firm, not too bony, good curves. I think this might be an ass better than mine. Which shouldn't be possible. I'm the girl here. Right?" She hadn't realized he had broken his genjutsu. And Shino had the sudden epiphany that he might reach second base before getting near first if Anko's line of thought continued.
So he unleashed enough kikaichu to form a hand and snuck it behind Anko's back. Without warning, Anko felt her butt get fondled. She turned around, only slightly surprised to see the beetles scurry back to their master. A few seconds later, Shino nodded in confirmation of what he had expected in the first place.
"Indeed, her rear is superior to mine. This also means I'm winning," He turned to see Anko looking at him, "for the moment." With a faint smile on his face, he leapt away from a now more determined Anko. He had always wanted to cut loose and act reckless, but had never found someone he felt comfortable doing so around. It seemed fun in general to do so. And now, with Anko, he did. He would really have to thank Cupid Uzumaki the next time he saw him.
Which ended up being far sooner than expected. A few minutes of running later, he saw Naruto and Hinata sitting next to one another, lying on the grass near a cliff on one edge of the forest. They were looking at the sunset together, though it had gone down a little beforehand. Feeling Anko breathing down his neck, he decided that the detour could be a good way to distract Anko and win.
Shino entered their field of vision as they stood up, content with the happy day they had spent with one each other. Both looked happy to see Shino, despite the odd circumstances.
"Sup Shino! Why are you in a rush?" Naruto asked, his hand attached to Hinata's.
Hinata smiled at her teammate. "Shino, I hope you are doing well." She sincerely wished him.
Shino gave them a quick courteous nod. "Hello Hinata and Naruto. I do believe I need your assistance for a moment." And with that, he jumped behind them. Before they could ask what was going on, Anko jumped into the clearing.
"I thought you were better than hiding behind other people, Shino." Anko sexily walked towards the three of them, catching Shino's attention and nearly Naruto's.
"I do not intend to lose. Because I have a higher goal that I can not fail." Shino eyed the hips and face and hips and face and hips and settled on the face of the sexily slinking Anko.
Hinata turned to the two of them with some surprise. "I do not quite understand what is going on here. I did not know you two were close."
Naruto let out a chuckle. "Oh right. I didn't mention it since you were out of the village on that mission, but I kinda hooked up the two of them on a blind date. And it is working well."
"And I must thank you for that, Uzumaki. Shino is well worth the time. But if you would, please move out of my way." Anko told them from a few feet away.
Hinata was surprised by this development, but it seemed to be healthy enough. "If you are dating, then why is Shino using us as a shield?"
"Grabass." Shino bluntly stated. The deadpan statement made Naruto laugh.
"Grabass? Like, just, grabbing each's other butts?" Naruto said between his laughs.
"Don't know it til you try it, Uzumaki. Come on, I know you wouldn't mind playing some grabass with your little heiress. Don't lie to me."
Both Naruto and Hinata looked at each other and took a glance at their partner's rear. Time paused for a second as everyone in the vicinity predicted what would happen next.
Naruto Uzumaki thought to himself, "I'm gonna grab Hinata's ass. I can't give up this shot!"
Kurama mused inside of Naruto. "I bet his girlfriend will get the first grab."
Anko Mitarashi thought. "Uzumaki got trained by two perverts. He is totally gonna go for it."
Shino Aburame predicted that Naruto would make the first move. Hinata was the conservative one in this relationship.
Shino's kikaichu queen buzzed to Shino. "The blonde one seems ready to play grabass."
Kiba Inuzuka, who was totally not spying on his best friends dates, could smell Naruto getting ready to grab Hinata's bum.
Akamaru, his ever loyal companion, thought in dogspeak, "Woof woof grrr grrr Woof." (White Eye about to have butt touched by man fox.)
Mei, Kiba's girlfriend and sucker for romance, knew enough about Hinata to know she wouldn't make a move. But her boyfriend would.
Hanabi Hyuga looked at her sister from her "yeah-I'm-totally-spying" spot with Byakugan and knew her boyfriend was about to go for it.
Kakashi Hatake, the reluctant Hokage, was spying in a magic crystal ball on his student's date and was surprised to see his old flame and Shino Aburame jump into the fray. While he was aware of their relationship and thought it would be interesting while it lasted, he never took Shino as one to join in Anko's game of grabass. He never did. And for the record, Naruto was going to get the first point in grabass.
Tora, who was still kicking it and running away from the Daimyo's wife, happened to see the situation. A decade of being with ninja's had trained her to be highly intelligent, to ninken levels. In fact, she could probably become a neko-kin. In fact, she was actually raising one of her litters to become such. If only the Daimyo's wife or the Konoha shinobi would get a clue... But regardless, she knew that blonde boy was going to do something to the blue haired's tail spot.
Orochimaru, who was doing a random checkup on his former's student progress on his way to have a civil discussion with Tsunade on why he was actually a good guy this time around, took note of the situation. He knew Naruto Uzumaki quite well, and his spies had given him decent information about the Hyuga heiress. From all reports, Naruto would be the one to grab Hinata's ass. Orochimaru also came to the stunning conclusion that he hadn't gotten laid in 23 years, since before the Third Shinobi War. Not that he was Jiraiya, but he had quite a few sexual escapades in his younger days. Before all the experiments.
The ghost of Hiruzen Sarutobi was also there. Which was a weird circumstance, since he had been revived and released from the Edo Tensei during his time as a ghost. As he would learn from Shinigami, ghosts were not actually the souls of the dead. Rather, they were essentially an afterimage of the dead's soul that lingered in the real world. His ghost was so strong since his death through the Shiki Fujin seal allowed for a greater chance of ghosting to occur. In fact, the essence left inside Naruto Uzumaki by his father was the ghost energy. Probably. Sarutobi the Professor of Shinobi, not Ghost Science. Anyway, these days he just kept an eye on Konoha's future and scared people on dates. He had been planning on scaring both Anko/Shino and Naruto/Hinata, but grabass began. He remembered his games of grabass with Biwako. Good times, good times. And he expected Naruto to start the grabass game with Hinata.
A squirrel was also there. In another world, he would have nearly died on a bottle cap before being saved by a weird boy with duck hair. He would get the name Cappy and become a summoning animal for a pink haired girl. He would be used as a threatening tool, and would actually be a threat to the legendary Orochimaru, scaring him into staying in the safehouse of Konoha. Of course, this was not the world of "The Cracked Mind of Itachi Uchiha", a great comedic story well worth a read. No, this was the world of "Mr Beetle and Ms Viper" and he was just a normal long lived squirrel who had done nothing spectacular in his life. Though he knew tragedy. Oh good he knew tragedy. Almost three years ago, his lover and children were killed by this being squishing everything. But he lived. He watched as they died. And then they came back. Only to die a week later and cooked over a fire by a dark skin boy, a dark skin girl with red hair and swords and a big chested blonde females. And then he had been alone. There was that random time later on where he got put into a giant cocoon and imagined living a happy life where his lover and kids were never killed, but a few hours later it ended and reality came back to him. Fuck whoever did that. He was happy god damn it. But what were we talking about? The squirrel was of course to focused on vengeance to pay attention to the humans. He would get vengeance on his family, or his name was not Squeake Usqueakha! But if he had been paying attention and understood the situation, Squeake Usqueakha would have said the blonde was going to grab the blue haired girl's ass.
Of course, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, orange jumpsuits, or a decade of repressed sexual tension building up in a quiet girl who almost never had alone time. So Hinata Hyuga saw a chance to grab Naruto's ass, and by god she removed her hand from Naruto's hand and grabbed his ass firmly and squeezed.
Naruto was surprised. Kurama grinned, knowing he was right. Shino and Anko were forgotten for a second. So in response, Naruto reached and grabbed Hinata's rear. They looked at each other, and then they looked to their gendered match of Anko and Shino. With a nod that could only occur because they were there, an understand was reached. Tag team grabass. And since Anko and Hinata were losing at the second, they gave chase at Shino and Naruto began to avoid their significant others to prevent themselves from losing. For the next three hours they played grabass, using their friends as decoys or allies in the fight. In the end, Naruto and Anko won. Naruto and Hinata were off in god knows where, but Anko and Shino were at her apartment front door. They were both tired from the unexpected exercise and gaming. They were leaning up next to each other crouching in front of her door, their butts a little too tender to sit. After a few moments of this warm moment, they stood up and knew it was time to head their seperate ways. Shino was happy with this odd day, and hoped he had more like it.
"It was fun Anko. I can't wait for us to meet again." Shino told her in his way.
Anko snorted. "Yeah, maybe next time you might put up a challenge."
Shino let out a silent chuckle in agreement. "Have a good night, Anko."
Anko looked at him for a second before nodding to herself. "Before you head out, you should be honored to hear you moved up."
"Moved up?" Shino raised an eyebrow.
Anko nodded. "Yup, you have officially leveled up from boy toy to boyfriend." Before he was allowed to digest this upgrade from his now official girlfriend, she pulled his collar down and planted a rather chaste kiss on his cheek. He let the collar go back into place. "Good night, Shino." She entered the door and closed it behind him.
Though no one could see it, Shino was blushing in a way that would have challenged Hinata's best blushes. He knew that his girlfriend was awesome (and his beetles agreed.) He walked home with a skip in his step. He really needed to thank Naruto.