Chapter Four

Remember, a bold D means explicit naughty bits, so if you don't like that stuff, you can skim over it until you see the next D, meaning it ends.

She couldn't really hide anywhere in the castle, he could find her, if he really wanted, use his magic probably. She walked to the couch in the living room and laid on it, grabbing some throw blankets and pilling them on her. She rested her head on a pillow and lay awake for awhile, listening to the castle creak, as if it was about to sleep itself. She listened, hoping she wouldn't hear him coming down the steps or anything.

Eventually, she drifted off, completely worn out.

She found herself in a meadow, almost like Nevermore, but even brighter. She turned and saw Harry sitting beside her. Somehow, she didn't feel scared. She felt she had no reason to be afraid, despite the earlier events. He reached for her hand and she let him take it. It was warm and comforting. His eyes were emerald and he looked both happy and sad.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Why did you try?"

"Sometimes, I can't control it."

"Control what?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"It…I just can't, please Raven."

He gathered her toward him in a hug, and she wrapped her arms around him and laid her cheek on his chest. It was actually comforting, unlike in real life.

He leaned back in the grass, hugging her, and told her of the some of the happier times in his life, his voice relaxing her.

Suddenly she back on the couch, and the real Harry was sitting there.

She recoiled instantly.

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely. "I know I can never make it up, but I'm sorry."

She wished she could see what color his eyes were, but the light was too dim.

"I'll go," he said, finding her hand and giving it a quick squeeze. He quickly left the room and she could hear him pounding up the stairs. A door slammed and she heard something break. She waited, but he didn't come back down and she drifted off again, only to find the emerald eyed Harry standing there again, his hands on her face lightly.

"Please forgive me, I beg you Raven."

"Is this real?" she asked.

"In a way yes. This is the real me, and the real me would never hurt you."

Somehow Raven knew he was telling the truth.

"Please, will you forgive me?" he begged.

"Yes, Harry."

She awoke at dawn, perplexed by the dreams, but feeling that everything she said was right. There were two sides to Harry, and the good side would never dream of hurting her. Somehow she knew this, but she didn't know how to get rid of the other side…

And why did she have those dreams? It was like when Harry said he kept having dreams about her. Maybe it was the castle somehow? Maybe it had some weird power.

She went up to the tower, and stood at the rampart, letting the damp, cool morning air wake her up. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply of the fresh air.

She jumped a little when she opened her eyes and realized Harry was standing next to her, clutching the edge of the stone. His face was pale and there were dark shadows under his eyes, which were blue green today.

"I'm sorry," he said, suddenly grabbing her in a hug. Raven didn't fight him, but she didn't tense up either, she settled for neutral, relaxed. Although really, she would have to talk to him about the sudden grabbing.

She could feel him shaking, and hear his heart pounding. She looked up at him.

"I forgive you," she said. "Don't ask me why, but I can." She was glad to see his eyes starting to turn to more green.

"Thank you Raven," he said. She wrapped her arms his waist and by then, his eyes were bright green.

"But, honestly, why are you always so, touchy…with the hugging and hand grabbing, and whatnot?"

Harry hesitated. "I-it just…makes me feel better. When I'm touching you."

"That's it?"

"You chase the darkness away. The darkness in my head."

"What darkness, Harry?"

"I don't know, it's just there."

"Harry, is there something about the castle, does the castle have powers, or something?"

"No."

"But I had dreams about you, vivid dreams."

"It's not the castle, I had vivid dreams about you away from it."

"Any lately?"

"I think so, I just can't remember them. They're just beyond my grasp…"

"Oh." She wanted to ask about his other side, but she was afraid it might bring it out. She would have to do things slowly.

"Is this why you brought me here? Just to hug me all day?"

"No," said Harry. "I don't know how to explain, I just need you here with me. If I didn't have you here, something...bad… would happen."

"What?"

"I don't know for sure."

Raven shivered, growing cold outside.

"Let's go get some tea and breakfast," he said. "I can tell you're chilly."

Downstairs, in the room, they ate and drank, enjoying the warm fire.

"I should tell you something about me," said Raven.

Harry looked up, surprised. "What?"

"I'm half demon."

He didn't look that shocked. "Well, I've meant Lord Voldemort face to face, so…"

"Aren't demons supposed to scare the shit out of people? My father would have made Lord Voldemort look like Mother Theresa."

Harry snorted.

"I'm serious, Trigon was the destroyer of worlds."

"I don't doubt you, but Voldemort as Mother Theresa, oh, geez."

Raven cracked a smile. "So my heritage doesn't bother you?"

"No."

"Good."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"I died once, kind of."

Now Raven was surprised. "Wizards can bring people back from the dead?"

"No," he shook his head, and explained about the Horcruxes, how a tiny piece of Voldemort had been trapped in Harry, how Harry had gone to meet him in the woods, and Voldemort had thought he had killed Harry, but really had killed that tiny part of himself, and then the final battle between them two in the school, with Voldemort dying.

Harry broke off, a vague look on his face, like he was remembering something else a bit unpleasant.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hmm? Nothing." His eyes were less green. Raven reached across the table for his hand, and she was rewarded and relieved to see the green come back, and Harry smiled.

When they went to bed that night, Raven didn't fight against the cuddling. In fact, she wrapped an arm around him, and he fell asleep quickly, his face peaceful in the firelight, the few lines around his eyes, smoothing out, his breathe steady. Raven felt her eyes flutter shut, and her last thought was, a whole day without any violence, what a relief.

She was in the field again, on a checkered blanket, Harry, bright eyed, next to her.

"Hello, my darling," he said.

"You look happy," said Raven.

"I am, you're with me, and there is no darkness here."

Raven looked around the brightly lid meadow.

"What is the darkness?"

Harry squinted. "It's not meant to be where it is."

"Where is that."

"I can't say anymore about that."

Raven sighed, sensing he wouldn't. She snuggled up to Harry's chest, listening to his heartbeat. Suddenly he leaned down and kissed her, gently at first. With no fear, no misgivings, she kissed him back, surprising herself.

D

He deepened the kiss and Raven responded, and soon they were flat on the ground, Harry was running his hands over her, and she knew where this was going, but everything seemed right. So she made no protest as Harry unclasped her cape and then began to pull the straps of her leotard down. Raven shivered with pleasure as he kissed her neck on the side. It felt so good.

He pulled her leotard off, leaving her naked and then she helped him undress. He held her in his arms and entered her and Raven gasped as he began moving, pumping himself in and out. She moaned and wrapped her legs around him, feeling something build up…

D

She jerked awake, flushing bright red in the dark. Holy shit, she'd never had a dream like that. She had never had sex before, but the dream…that was how she imagined it would feel, to be with someone like that.

Harry moaned slightly in sleep and she heard his heart pounding. Maybe he was having a bad dream or something. He shifted slightly and quieted, and his heart slowed down to normal.

When Raven awoke in the morning, she sat up, and Harry shifted, opening his eyes.

"You want to go to the bathroom first?" she asked.

"Uh, no," he said, blushing slightly for some reason. Raven got up and he watched her walk to the bathroom. He had a massive hard on and didn't want her to see it.

He had dreamt about having sex with her last night, no, making love. She wasn't like other girls he'd been with. He hadn't been with a lot, but he'd gone to clubs a few times in London, after Voldemort's fall. He'd never gotten into a relationship with any of the girls. They wouldn't have liked him for long anyway, the way he was. But he had gone home with them, or they with him to a hotel. The women had liked him, said he was good in bed, and he'd enjoyed himself, but he never called them afterwards, or wanted to see them. They meant little to him. And none of them could calm the darkness in his head.

The dream had been better than any of his real life encounters. It had filled him with excitement. He felt like he actually…loved her…

He tried to focus on something else, to get rid of the uncomfortable bulge in his pants. Finally it went down enough to where he was sure it wouldn't be noticed, and he sat up. He could hear the shower water running.

He summoned some tea and heard Raven screech in the bathroom. "Belinda!"

"Ahh, sorry, sorry!" Belinda came floating through the wall.

"Really, Belinda?" asked Harry.

"I don't think, really I don't. I was a bit brainless when I was alive you know."

"Maybe you should just stay out the bathroom."

"I know, but I get to thinking, and wandering aimlessly, all over the castle."

She wandered through the bedroom door. Raven came out, dressed, her hair damp but combed.

"You know, she needs to stay out of the bathroom."

"I told her that," said Harry, going in.

Sally wandered in while Raven was drinking tea.

"Where've you been?" asked Raven.

"Oh, visiting my dad."

"Huh?"

"He was a great hunter when he was alive, rode all over the surrounding country when he was alive. Died hunting, actually. Well, his ghost still rides, but he comes by once in a while, and me and Belinda met him behind the castle the other night and stayed with him. He gave us rides, on his ghost horse, you know."

"Ah, why doesn't he stay here, with you?"

She shrugged. "Daddy never spent much time inside to begin with, when he was alive. He was always hunting, or just riding. I suspect he may have loved his horse more than mum and me." She squinted her eyes. "But at least I do get to see him."

So that was why they hadn't come the other night when Harry had nearly assaulted her. She was out riding a ghost horse with her dad and Belinda. Wait, the horse was a ghost too?

"The horse didn't, ah, cross over, when he died?"

"Guess not. Animals haunt places sometimes, don't you know?"

"No, I never met a ghost animal. Um, how did you die, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Fever."

"I'm sorry," said Raven.

"It's okay, I don't remember too much of it, and it was quick."

"I fell down the stairs," said Belinda, floating in.

Sally snorted.

"That's not funny."

They floated out, arguing and Sally saying Belinda hadn't changed much in death, she still had little brains.

Harry came out of the bathroom, dressed and sat down with Raven.

"Harry, I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"It's seems like, you have two sides to you," began Raven. Harry said nothing. "When your eyes are more green, that's the normal you. The nice side. But when your eyes go blue, you're often not so nice, and when they're black, you're…just…" she wanted to say evil, but was afraid it would make him angry.

Harry's eyes grew darker, turning intense blue.

"Evil?" he finished with a snap. "You see it now?" He stood up, his body rigid and tense. "I know it's here. I can feel the darkness in my head. It won't go away. I'm always trapped with it. Always." He started to pace. Raven was starting to wish she hadn't mentioned it. "It makes me so angry. I can't stop it. And you're the only one…"

He cut off, gripping his head. Raven stood up quickly and rushed to him. He raised his hand to her, looking ready to slap her, but she ducked under and quickly wrapped her arms around his tense body. His heart was beating fast.

Harry, who had been ready to smack her across the face, grunted and tried to pull back for a moment, the darkness and anger making it hard to think properly. But Raven held onto him and suddenly it began to clear. His thoughts calmed, the anger and darkness pervading his brain trickled away. He could feel his heart settling.

"Please, don't get like this," said Raven. "I know who the real you is, and it's not this."

Harry felt his throat thicken. Instead of running from him, seeing how unstable he was about to be, she had tried to help him, willingly. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on her head, smelling the lavender scent about her.

"Thank you, Raven," he said. Raven looked up at him and saw his eyes were green. "I'm sorry, it comes and sometimes I can't stop it."

"I know," said Raven. "This is the real you now." She stood on tiptoe to kiss him.

Harry could tell it was her this time, not Lust. He deepened the kiss and Raven eagerly responded and Harry placed his hands on her waist, pulling her body closer. Raven pushed herself against him and Harry hesitantly raised his hands up her waist. Raven took his hand and put it to her breast and he squeezed it softly.

"I want you," Raven whispered, running her hand down his front to where he was already rock hard in his pants.

D

Harry lifted her and carried her to the bed, fumbling to get her cloak off as he went. Before long, they were naked on bed, kissing and running hands all over each other's bodies.

"I'm still a virgin," mumbled Raven, blushing a little.

"Okay," said Harry, looking at her seriously. "I'll be gentle."

He started kissing her neck. Raven felt a shiver of pleasure run through her. He kissed his way down to her breasts and swirled his tongue around the nipple.

After a few more minutes, he gently penetrated her. It did hurt at first but soon the pain lessened. Harry was very gentle with her and the motion started to feel good. Raven moaned and Harry was kissing up and down her neck, which was starting to drive her wild.

"Oh, gosh," Harry moaned in her ear, as Raven wrapped her legs around him. Raven was starting to feel something build up.

"Faster," she gasped. As Harry thrusted in her faster, she felt a new feeling, like tipping over the edge of a cliff into something wonderful. Harry could feel Raven tensing and quivering as she came.

"Oh, fuck," he muttered, feeling her muscles clench around her member.

Raven stammered something incomprehensible and went limp and a second later Harry had his release and she grabbed the back of his head and kissed him hard.

D

They lay on the bed, wrapped around each other.

"Wow," muttered Harry, his eyes bright green. "That was-"

"Amazing," Raven finished for him, looking at how bright his eyes were. Why couldn't he always stay like this? Himself, happy, normal…?

He must have been thinking along the same lines as her. "I wish I could always be like this."

"You could," said Raven.

"When it comes on, it's so hard to fight."

"Then take the spells off the castle and me. I can help you."

She waited for his eyes to darken, but amazingly they didn't. He simply looked sad. "You would leave me…alone."

"I wouldn't. You could come with me to the tower. Maybe I could use my type of magic to help you."

Harry chuckled lightly. "I doubt your team would appreciate that. Especially since I kidnapped you, locked you away in my castle, and then had my wicked way with you."

"Ah, sir, I believe it was me that initiated this just now."

"They would say you have Stockholm Syndrome."

"I don't," said Raven. "I know to an outsider it would seem like so, but you're not just some crazy maniac that I've grown irrationally close too. The real you is quite loving and normal."

Harry kissed her forehead gently, his throat feeling a little thick. Why couldn't things have gone differently?

He wanted to lift the spell that restricted her powers. But it was like something wouldn't let him.

Raven didn't want to push the issue, afraid it would bring out the evil part of him. She had a feeling like it was lurking somewhere inside, just waiting to be brought out if she said the wrong thing.

Harry shifted onto his back and Raven playfully straddled him. Harry couldn't believe, even with that stoic look on her face, she still managed to look amazingly beautiful and sexy. She rubbed his chest and smiled.

"So what do you go in that giant library of yours?"

"Uhh, books?"

"I know that, I mean what kind?"

"Oh, gosh, everything it seems," said Harry. "It's like a real proper library. Except it's mostly for wizards. Not much Muggle titles or works in there. It's even organized. I added some of my own books in there too, but nobody had been living here for quite a while until I came. So it's dusty, probably got mold in there. It'd be a pain to clean up. Lot of Dark Arts books in their too…"

"Well, what if I do some research; see if I can find anything to help you? Would that work?"

"I suppose," said Harry, his eyes remaining green. Raven leaned down and kissed him.

Harry left for awhile and Raven went to the library and began looking through the shelves. There were so many books she had never seen before. She found one called A History of Hogwarts and apparently it was all about Harry's school. The wizards must have done a pretty good job of hiding themselves and their school, because she'd never heard of it. Raven wondered if she would have been invited to Hogwarts if she had grown up on Earth, instead of Azareth.

"I bet I would have been a straight A student," Raven muttered to herself, sliding the book back into the shelf.

Raven found the Dark Arts section, which was quite large. There were books filled with evil spells, rituals, nasty creatures, all kinds of things even Raven hadn't known about.

She selected some books about possession, multiple personalities, and some other ones and sat at a table by the window and began looking through them.

Multiple personality didn't really fit Harry, thought Raven, flipping through a book. He didn't claim to be someone else. He didn't sit there and say, "Oh, I'm not Harry; this is...insert name here."

There was a book of herbs that could be used to change a person, or make them slowly go crazy, but in a way that made them incapable of functioning. Harry was quite capable of going to the bathroom and showering and eating, unlike the account of Mumblewort the Great, who was poisoned by his wife with a combination of her herbs that made him go into fits of rage and go completely cuckoo, culminating with him in shitting on the dining room table at a Christmas feast and then throwing clumps at the visiting witches and wizards, which included the current (at the time) Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"Ew," said Raven, setting the books aside.

It was getting late, and Harry must not have gotten back yet. Raven was looking through yet another book. Even demonic possession didn't seem quite right. Usually the person just went evil, and stayed that way. Nothing seemed to quite match Harry, whose eyes changed color according to his mood. But possession seemed to be the closest thing to make any sense. Maybe Harry was possessed by a demon, or something like it, and was able to fight hard enough to prevent it from taking over entirely?

Raven was getting quite tired. Harry had worn her out this afternoon but she had shrugged off the need for a nap, determined to get busy with her research. Her eyes were getting heavy.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Harry was suddenly behind her and Raven turned to look at him, startled. There were electric lamps in the room, lighting up the area, and she could see his eyes were fully black. She tensed, wondering what was happening.

Harry sat across from her, a smirk on his lips. The black eyes creeped her out.

"You're meddling in things you shouldn't be."

Raven closed her book. "I was just researching some things," she said, calmly.

"I see," he replied, a cold edge to his voice. "But you might not want to find out what is going on."

"Why?"

"Because it might prove too much. To know you're falling in love with someone who can't be redeemed. Not anymore. Someone that will drag you down as well. "

"Who are you?" asked Raven.

"Why, I'm Harry Potter of course."

"No, you're not. You must be something that is possessing him. Harry Potter isn't like this."

"Harry Potter," he spat at her, "is cracked and broken. And evil. And I think you know what evil is. You're half demon. Although you repress yourself, I can sense it in you. If I were you, I would have let it loose a long time ago. Why do you live in this world like you are, helping inferior beings? Look how helpless and stupid the ordinary Muggles are. No magic, no abilities, blind to the powers in the world, unable to work with it, wield it control it. And yet you and your little teammates befriend them, help them, treat them as equals, when really they are nothing more that bleating, terrified sheep, ready for the slaughter. "

"They are not inferior," said Raven. "We protect Jump City because they're people, good people, and they don't deserve to be tortured and killed by mad crazy villains."

"Oh, yes, your villains," laughed Harry. The sound was cold and a shiver ran through Raven. "You can't even annihilate them all. What about your friend in Gotham? Batman, right? How many times has the Joker wrought death and destruction? But Batman just lets him live, so he can escape or whatever and does something terrible another time. Does Batman slaughter his greatest enemy? No. Weak."

"Killing brings you down to their level," replied Raven, folding her arms. "If you start killing, even with righteous intentions, it becomes too easy to slip to the dark side and become the very thing you fought against."

"So I should have let Voldemort live?" Harry raised his eyebrows and studied her. "He murdered my parents. A student in my classes, Neville Longbottom, his parents were tortured to insanity by a follower of his. He killed countless people, wizards and Muggles alike. So I should have let him live? Even though he wanted to kill me? "

Lord Voldemort did seem pretty horrible. Worse than The Joker even… But the Titans had a No Kill Code. But what if they had to fight Voldemort, the most evil, most wicked person to ever walk the earth? Well, except for her father… Trigon probably would have turned Voldemort into a pile of bloody bones and flesh if they had ever encountered each other.

"I don't know," whispered Raven.

Another smile grew on Harry's lips. "So even the noble Raven is stumped on this."

"I wasn't there, I didn't have to deal with Voldemort," retorted Raven. "If we had, well, we probably would have figured out some way to subdue him, without actually killing him.

"And risk him coming back? He did it once; used my blood. Came back more terrible than before, the soul cracked into pieces and hidden inside Horcruxes, which had to be destroyed, so he couldn't come back yet again."

"Then we could have done that," said Raven.

"Ah, but my sweety, the Horcruxes weren't just lifeless objects. Remember I told you one was hidden in me? You would have killed me? I came back yes, but nobody knew that was the case…I could have ended up staying dead."

"We would have figured something out. We defeated my father, and he was a full demon."

"And did you crack your soul?" whispered Harry.

"No."

"Not even a little? Oh, but wait, you're already in pieces Raven…You're broken too..."

"I'm not broken-"

Harry walked around the table and yanked Raven from her chair.

"Harry, stop-"

Suddenly they were in Nevermore, a part Raven didn't like to visit. Where Rage was kept in a cage. She was filthy and foul, her four red eyes glowing in the dark and she rattled the bars of the cage like a demented, trapped beast.

"Why do you keep me in here? I'm supposed to be free. You can't hide from me forever. I am you."

She howled and screamed at Raven, who flinched. Harry was holding her by the shoulders, his fingers digging into her skin.

"You're not supposed to be in here with me! This is my place!" shouted Raven. "How did you-"

"Do you want to see what I look like, and what I will become?" snarled Harry. "What you could become?"

"No!"

Mirrors appeared everywhere and Harry's face changed. She could feel the evil permeating the area, seeping into the area. Harry's face turned white like snow and flattened a bit, his hair shorted slightly and his eyes became red.

"Not quite the same, but it will do," he whispered. "Looks don't really matter do they? It's what's on the inside that counts." He laughed horribly.

He pushed Raven towards a mirror and she saw her reflection there. Four red eyes, a smiling mouth with razor sharp teeth, black tentacles slipping out from the under the cloak. Dark shadows writhing behind her, ready to do her bidding.

"No!" screamed Raven.

"Why, I do believe I have found the one thing just as evil as me?" cackled Harry, coming behind her and grasped her shoulders and Raven covered her face. "Is it possible?"

"I'm not like this!" shouted Raven, feeling like she was unraveling inside. Harry yanked her hands away.

"You are! Now look!" he roared. "This is what you are to meant to be! Either this, or nothing at all. You are nothing if you don't use the power you have! It's worthless if you don't use it!" He shook her violently.

Raven's reflection laughed in the mirror and Raven could feel cold tentacles inching up her body.

Suddenly it was just darkness everywhere, but Raven could still feel Harry clutching her, his breathe tickling across her ear.

"I am slowly succumbing, and when I do, you will be next. You won't be the ray of light anymore for a tortured boy whose light is almost snuffed out entirely. You won't be the breath of fresh air for a boy who is suffocating in darkness. You suffocate and succumb as well eventually."

The cold tentacles were getting higher and higher and Harry clamped his hand over her mouth and drew her against his body and nothing could be heard except Raven's muffled screams as she felt cold evil wash over her.