BEFORE THE STORY BEGINS: AN AUTHOR'SNOTE

Hey guys! Lovely Thursday we're having, am I right? The reason I'm posting today is because I wouldn't be able to Friday, due to stuff. So, enjoy this kind of early chapter!

In other news, I was thinking of perhaps having a Fantalia Q+A thing? Like, you guys can send me questions about the story, this AU, or just writing in general through either a review or a PM. Then, I would either answer them in a separate chapter or at the bottom of a chapter. Would that be cool? If you want me to do this, then just send me questions! I'll answer them either next chapter or in one of the other chapters.

Favorite and Follow if you enjoy this story, and please review!

Once Upon A Time…

A hero was panicking.

"Tony, we are so screwed." Alfred nervously kept glancing from his open copy of HEROISM FOR DUMMIES and the open road, frowning as if demanding an answer. "I mean, this book says that we need a TON of supplies and stuff, like water and weapons and… TONY!" he shouted to the daydreaming sea serpent, who obviously couldn't be bothered to listen. "They suggest that I should lug around a sword or a catapult on wheels! I've never even HELD a sword before! How am I supposed to find one and use it to save some prince?"

You know what? I know that Alfred's in trouble here. But honestly, I am so ANGRY at him NOT LISTENING TO ME and RUNNING OFF WITH SOME VAMPIRES that I refuse to help him. That's right. Take that, perfect storybook hero!

"tHat'$ y0Ur pr0BL3m, n0T M1n3!" Tony gave a snarky response.

"Well, it actually IS your problem, because the second option is for me to just improvise and use YOU as a weapon!"

Tony paled, quite a feat for something that was already silver. "Y0u W0uLDn't."

Alfred smirked. "Oh yes I would."

"w3LL, WhaT aM 1 $uPP0sSe t0 D0 ab0Ut iT?"

"I don't know! But it wouldn't hurt to start actually caring!"

Tony did the magical-sea-serpent-inside-an-even-more-magical-silver-bubble equivalent of a sigh. "f1N3… i cAR3, I Car3. wHAt'$ y0Ur $0LuT10n?"

"Um, well… do you have any ideas?"

"n0."

"Maybe we should just keep walking?"

"r3aLLy? tHaT'$ y0Ur GraNd Id3a?"

"Do you have anything better?" Alfred glared at Tony.

"uGH, WhaT3V3r."

The two bickering friends continued on the dirt path that led out of town, Alfred occasionally glancing to his left and right. At first, Tony pretended not to notice, but after he did it for the fiftieth time, he couldn't bare it anymore.

"wHy d0 Y0u k33P g1AnCiNG t0 Th3 Sid3?" Tony inquired.

"Huh? Oh, it's probably nothing." Alfred abruptly replied.

"y0U $33m t0 Th1Nk iT'$ $0m3tH1Ng."

"Well… I'm just getting this creepy feeling. Like we're being watched."

Who's following them?

"r3a11y?"

"Yeah. And, well, this is going to sound really insane."

"WhAT?"

"I keep on hearing this faint voice. Like, it's in the back of my head, but also… not. It seems to linger all around me. Narrating my every move. Making comments on my life choices."

"y0U d0N't $ay?"

"What?" Alfred turned around to look Tony straight in the eye. "Do you hear it too?"

Tony gave the magical-sea-serpent-inside-an-even-more-magical-silver-bubble equivalent of a shrug. Alfred, who wanted to know more but was also so, so tired and quite honestly didn't want to start another argument, turned back around and continued walking, a slight sigh escaping from his lips. This was it, honestly. This was his journey, his quest. His salvation, that one thing that would get him from being some kid who had no friends except for a sarcastic sea serpent and a lone wizard on a hill, to a celebrity. He imagined what it would be like once he rescued the prince and was going home, the people all crowding around him, their cheers echoing with his voice. "Alfred! Alfred, our hero!"

Sucks that getting to that point required so much walking. So, so much walking. Through the town then through empty fields, the dirt path and a crumpled wallpaper-map being their only guide. According to said map, they were going in the right direction; however, they were far away from their goal. This meant, of course, more walking.

Soon it didn't even have a name anymore. It was just the countless command for his right foot to move forward, then his left, then his right again. Right left right left right left right left right left right left right left.

Rightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleft. And there was only so much conversation he could make with Tony.

"Hey Tony, tell me that story again with that duck that wandered into Arthur's house again."

"l3aV3 m3 A10n3, Y0u ImB3ci13!"

Sigh.

Finally, for better or for worse, the path ended. Where it should have been stood an enormous forest. The thick oak trees intertwined with each other, like good friends. Grass sprouted up in various spots that weren't entirely covered with mammoth mushrooms. Squirrels and chipmunks darted through the trees and the ground, popping up in between the little cracks in the giant boulders that seemed to dominate the entire woodland.

"Crap," Alfred stamped the dry ground "now what do we do?" Tony, ignoring his question, just kept on floating into the vegetation.

"w3 K33p g01Ng, dUMba$$." He called back to our hesitant hero. Alfred followed, a tad nervous.

"Well, we're not going off course." He checked the wallpaper-map. "I guess there isn't any harm in this."

Oh, yeah, what's the worst that could come from wandering into some shady woods unarmed? Ugh. Reader, please inform me when my characters are dead. I would rather not watch.

Inconclusively, nothing jumped out at them right away. In fact, the largest animal Alfred caught the sight of was a doe, who stared at him with blank eyes. It really was beautiful. The way the sun hit the leaves and trees and rocks, the way the animals seemed to move in a synchronized balance, how-

"aHhHhhHHHhhhHHHHHhHhhhHHhHH"

Oh dear.

Suddenly, his entire world shook. Tony's screaming was the only thing our hero could hear over the blood pounding in his ears as his entire world was turned literally upside down. Panic crashed inside of him like a giant wave. He started to hyperventilate, as his heart was pounding. Alfred's mouth was opened wide, but suppressed any screams. He was midair, falling, falling to his doom.

It became very apparent to Alfred that he was probably going to die.

I suppose I should be a bit more depressed about this news, taking in the fact that he is my main character. But honestly, I suppose it makes me a monster to say this, but I am filled with joy at this news. Alfred had… problems. He was too stubborn to listen to me, and seemed to trust pure strangers out of the blue, even vampires! He went so far as to say that they could possibly be his friends! I can't believe it. Alas, Alfred was reckless and immature. It is no surprise to me that he has passed. I've even prepared a little speech:

Death of the Perfect Storybook Hero: A Eulogy

Alfred F. Jones, as he liked to call himself, was a brave young man of the new millennium, full of energy and ambition to help the world. He did this by embarking on a tedious quest to save the kidnapped prince Feliks from the monstrous yeti Ivan. Alas, he failed. I guided him as best as I could, but he refused my advice, instead doing frivolous things like running off with strange vampires and petting dogs he did not know. He may have been irresponsible, but he had a good spirit. He… well, he was the perfect storybook hero. He deserved better. He deserves that title.

I knew him rather well, as I was the narrator to his story. He was a good protagonist to me, again, he didn't listen, but that made him interesting at times. However, now his rebellious nature has caught up to him, as he was killed while wandering in a forest. Let his spirit rest in peace. He will be missed by his friends, and while he only had two, Tony the magical sea serpent and Arthur the sorcerer…

…Arthur. Oh God, how will I ever be able to explain this to Arthur? Alfred was really the only friend he had left in his life, besides those odd imaginary ones. And I promised to keep him safe. I… I promised. And I screwed up. I… I fucked up. That's it. It's over. I MESSED UP! I MESSED UP NOT ONLY FOR ME AND MY STORY BUT I MESSED UP FOR ARTHUR! Arthur, who had had enough tragedy in his life already… Would he be able to forgive me?

Thump.

I was too wasteful. I was too self-centered. I forgot about my characters.

"Wh-what's going on?"

Huh?

Alfred was not dead. Our narrator jumped to conclusions due to the mysterious way the text described him being captured.

Are you kidding me?!

His head was thrown against something scratchy yet soft, something obviously woven… a net. Alfred was trapped in a net. His arms began to instinctively wave around frantically, only grasping more rope and colliding with a certain magical bubble.

"wATCh 1T!" Tony snapped.

"Where are we?" Alfred yelped.

"w3'V3 B33n caPTuR3d, DUmBA$$." Tony replied.

"By who?"

"Silence!" A sharp male voice broke up their bickering. "Your fighting is giving me a headache."

"Who are you?" Alfred tried to turn around, but Tony's large bubble kept him from doing that.

"I'll ask the questions." The thing, whatever it was, was quite angry. "For example, what are you doing on my land?"

"This is your land?" Alfred felt an odd surge of relief. So this was just all a big misunderstanding. He could explain how he didn't know it was the creature's land and they could be on their way.

"Yes, and I don't like people snooping through it." Alfred flinched as he saw out of the corner of his eye the glare of a cold metal blade.

"Please, sir, we didn't know this was your land." He tried to reason. "Me and my friend were just wandering through, on our way to the Arctic."

"Really?" the thing seemed skeptical. "Who are you? Everyone knows not to come here. They're all afraid of me."

"Well, I guess I was never told. I don't have many friends." He added at the end. The thing hesitated, then, with one swift movement, cut the net with his sword. Alfred and Tony both tumbled out, scrambling to their feet to catch a glimpse at their captor.

The first thing Alfred noticed was that he was obviously not human. Not far from it, but not completely human. The man's skin was grey and cracked at some places, exactly like stone. Otherwise, he looked like a perfectly normal adult, with his blond hair slicked back neatly and his blue eyes glistening with ambition and order. He stood like a military general, and could be one, Alfred thought, if it wasn't for his odd skin.

"What are you?" Our hero asked.

"I take it you mean who are you. I am known as Ludwig the rock troll." He paused. "I am rather surprised you've never heard of me."

"Why? Are you famous or something?"

"Well… I used to… I used to eat young heroes. But I don't anymore!" he added, seeing the horrified look on Alfred's face. "I've changed. I tried to open up a place where I could equip young heroes with armor and weapons, to help them instead of hurt them. Business failed, unfortunately. The townspeople did not believe that members of my species could change. They… they tried to hunt me down, to kill me. That is why I have all of these traps lying around."

"I wasn't trying to kill you, I swear!"

Ludwig sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry for capturing you. But I want to be left alone. Please leave." He was beginning to turn away when Alfred spoke.

"Hey, you said you owned a weapons and armor place, right?"

Ludwig glanced back at Alfred. "Yes, but I don't serve humans anymore."

Alfred stared down at his worn boots. "Look, I'm sorry to ask you this, but I'm trying to save a prince from this evil monster but I sort of just took on the quest without knowing what I needed and I was planning on getting my supplies from this sorcerer guy named Arthur but he kind of freaked out on me and said that I was too young to go on a quest and now I'm stuck here with no food or water or any sort of supplies and I seriously need help and I'm beginning to wish I didn't take on this quest but these fairies came to me and-"

"Hold on. You said that some fairies came to you?"

"Yes and they told me all about the quest and it seemed really cool and I just thought-"

"What were their names?"

"Uh, Feliciano and Lovino."

"Hmm," Ludwig considered "I happen to know Feliciano personally, and how he does do that to young heroes. He gets so excited about a quest, delivers it, and forgets that the hero may not be fully prepared. He has the best intentions." Ludwig added hastily.

"Yeah, and now I don't know what to do because-"

"Look, I'll help you out. I still have some old human armor that I was going to throw out, anyway. Besides, you seem like a good kid. I would feel partially guilty if you died."

"You will? Oh my god thank you Ludwig thank you thank you thank you!"

Ludwig smiled faintly. "You're welcome."