Title: Splintered (4/?)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to have any rights to the characters or plots of DQMW. The following is purely for entertainment value and of no monetary value whatsoever
Summary: He pressed his face to his knees and wondered how everything could have gone so wrong, so quickly.
Chapter Four
Her last appointment of the day having run late, Michaela had sent the children home with Matthew. The clinic closed now, she sat at a table in the café, idly picking at the meal Grace had set down before her thirty minutes earlier and pretending that she wasn't anxiously glancing around hoping to see Sully.
"D'ya want me to wrap that up for you to take home, Dr. Mike?"
Michaela's head snapped up to find Grace standing nearby, a kindly smile on her face.
"Oh…" Michaela noted the lengthening shadows as day began to give way to night. "I'm so sorry, Grace. I'm holding you up," she said, seeing the otherwise empty tables in the café.
"There you are, Michaela." Both women turned to see Dorothy approaching. "I just finished cleaning up after printing tomorrow's edition of the Gazette and had a yen for somethin' sweet. Am I too late for a piece of pie, Grace?"
"Well now, I'm fresh outta pie, but I'm sure I can rustle up something."
"Wonderful!" Dorothy exclaimed as she sank into a chair next to Michaela's. "Why don't you join us, Grace –"
" – oh! It's late, I should – " Michaela shifted in her chair as if to rise, stilling when Dorothy's hand came to rest firmly on her forearm.
"Nonsense, we're going to have us a little bit of a ladies' night out, Michaela. Grace?" Dorothy raised her brows and tipped her head meaningfully toward Michaela."
"Why not! I'll be right back."
Michaela squirmed miserably, wanting nothing more than to go off and lick her wounds in private but years of well-bred manners kept her in her seat, a polite smile on her face as she listened to Dorothy chatter about Loren's latest get-rich-quick scheme.
Grace returned a few moments later bearing a tray heavily laden with a tea service and a cloth-covered plate. She set a plain white teapot in the center of the table and unloaded three mis-matched cups and saucers.
"They don't match," she said with a shrug as she set the small porcelain cups at each place, "but they're prettier than those old tin mugs."
"Tea!" Dorothy exclaimed. "What a lovely idea."
"Well," Grace murmured as she poured the tea, "if we're gonna have a ladies' night, I figured we might as well at least try 'n make it special. I brought some cookies to go with the tea." She whisked away the napkin to reveal a half dozen molasses cookies artfully arranged on the plate.
Michaela sipped her tea and nibbled on a cookie as she half-listened to her friends chatter about the various goings-on in the town. The fragrant spices and sweetness of the molasses melted on her tongue as the warmth of the tea and the companionship of her friends helped to soothe the frayed edges of her nerves.
Grace looked at Dorothy over the rim of her teacup and flicked a concerned gaze toward Michaela.
"Well, Michaela." The red-head set her cup down onto its saucer with a little clatter. "We can sit here all night gabbing away 'bout nothin', or maybe you can just tell us what's troublin' you."
Michaela blinked, startled by the sudden bluntness of the other woman's question. She glanced toward Grace as if hoping to find help there but instead found dark eyes staring back with the same directness as Dorothy.
"We can't help but notice that you've been moping around for days now, Dr. Mike." Grace laid a hand over Michaela's and gave it a gentle squeeze. Michaela stared down, a detached part of her brain noting how the dark, work-roughened skin was at direct odds with the pale, softness of her own hand. Tears prickled her eyes as she laid her other hand atop her friend's and gave it a pat.
"You've been outta sorts ever since… ever since David left," Grace pointed out.
"I think I've ruined everything." Michaela whispered so softly, her friends had to strain to hear her words.
"Is that it, Michaela?" Dorothy nibbled worriedly at her thumbnail. "D'ya think you made the wrong decision in sending David away?"
"What?" Michaela blinked in confusion. "Wrong decision…? Oh, no, Dorothy. No. That's not it at all."
"Then what is it, Dr. Mike? Is it Sully?" Grace's dark eyes flashed with concern.
"I should have listened to you, Dorothy. I waited too long to decide and now Sully… now…" Her breath hitched and she pressed the knuckles of one hand against her mouth.
"Now Sully what, Michaela? Just tell us," Dorothy urged.
"I think Sully has changed his mind about marrying me," Michaela admitted in a hoarse whisper.
"Oh pish! I don't believe that for one second," Dorothy exclaimed.
"Me either!" Grace's chin bobbed up and down in emphatic agreement with her friend. "Why, Dr. Mike, he loves you something crazy. Anyone with eyes in their heads can see it!"
"It's true," Michaela insisted. "He all but said as much."
She told them of tracking Sully down near his lean-to after sending David on his way. Of the state she had found him in – disheveled, sweaty and exhausted – standing in the midst of a small mountain of split firewood. Of how she had declared herself to him and how this time she'd been the one to ask him to marry her.
"I thought he'd be so happy," she told them. "I was terribly nervous as I walked out there, but I pictured how it would be. How he would sweep me into his arms and we'd laugh and kiss and everything would be perfect."
"And what happened instead?" Dorothy asked softly.
"He kissed me and told me he loved me but that he couldn't promise to marry me. He said he thought we should wait."
"Well," Grace exclaimed. "I'm sure he just needs a little bit of time, that's all."
"You've talked with him since then," Dorothy asserted. "What has he said?"
Michaela shrugged and picked up a piece of cookie, crumbling it between her thumb and forefinger.
"He came over for dinner the next evening," she admitted. "The evening started off promisingly enough but…" She laid a hand over her brow and shook her head as she told them about Brian's artless comments.
"Oh my Lord." Grace pressed her fingers against her mouth and shook her head. "The things that come out of that child's mouth…"
"I know." Michaela shared a weak smile with her friends as she described the look of surprise on Sully's face and Colleen's and Matthew's less than subtle efforts to stifle their younger brother. The three women chuckled at the image of young Brian being dragged from the cabin by his siblings.
"The truth is," Michaela said slowly, "Brian's words touched on a nerve."
"How so?" Dorothy wondered.
Michaela dragged a listless finger through the crumbs on her plate. "Did I tell you that Sully came to me one evening while David was still here to tell me that he would support whatever decision I made, and that what he wanted more than anything else was for me to be happy?"
Grace and Dorothy shook their heads.
"No." Dorothy forced the word past the lump lodged in her throat and met Michaela's tortured smile with a supportive nod.
"I… I was so confused by David's sudden reappearance in my life and I… it seems I took advantage of Sully's generous nature."
"Oh, I don't believe that, Dr. Mike." Grace asked softly.
"Looking back, I realize that I spent most of my time exclusively with David. He was at the homestead for dinner most nights and spent hours with me in the clinic and accompanying me on my rounds."
"We were all shocked when we learned who Andrew… David really was," Grace pointed out. "I can't imagine how upsettin' it was for you."
"Of course!" Dorothy laid a supportive hand over Michaela's. "Why, no one could fault you for taking a little time to figure things out?" she exclaimed loyally.
"Sully could," Michaela said quietly.
"But, Dr. Mike, you just said that he –"
"I know, Grace," Michaela said with a wan smile. "And I think he meant it. But Brian's comment about David sitting in Sully's chair…
"Outta the mouth of babes," Grace murmured. "Sully musta thought David was taking his place."
"Worse. He said I was courting David right there in the house Sully had built," Michaela said glumly. "And looking back, he's right."
The three women fell silent for a long moment and when Michaela spoke again, her voice was little more than a whisper.
"I hurt him," she breathed. "Even more than I knew at the time." She closed her eyes and rubbed a fretful hand over her forehead. "When I finally made my decision – when it finally became clear to me who I truly wanted to be with, I felt a profound sense of relief and joy. I foolishly believed that everything would just go back to the way it had been before David had returned." She pressed the tips of her fingers against her trembling lips. "But I was wrong. Sully is deeply wounded by how long it took me to decide and every time I try to talk with him, it seems that I just make things worse."
Haltingly, she described her attempts to make Sully understand her state of mind. She saw Grace's face contort into a sympathetic wince as she told them of Sully's angry outburst after her bungled effort by invoking Abagail's hypothetical return and noted the way Dorothy folded her lips into a grim line at the mention of her niece's name.
Michaela hurried on to describe Sully's reaction to her mother's telegram and the conversation that had followed.
"He's lost trust in me," Michaela mourned. "He's lost trust in us. He says he's afraid I'll eventually regret marrying him."
"Oh, nonsense," Grace declared. "Anyone the good Lord gave eyes to can see that the two of you are crazy for each other! He's just scared is all."
"Do you remember what you told me when we was sitting right here the day after you found out who Andrew really was?" Dorothy asked.
"Of course I do."
"What did you tell me about David?" Dorothy demanded.
"I… I said that I could talk to David about things that were important to me – like medicine – that I could never discuss with Sully."
Dorothy nodded. "And what did you say about Sully?"
Michaela pressed the palms of her hands against her flushed cheeks.
"I said that he knows me in a way no one else ever has. That he stirs something inside me in a way I cannot explain."
"And are those things still true?" the older woman asked.
Michaela looked up, confusion evident on her face.
"When you made your decision to send David on his way? What made you choose Sully? Was it just the desire he stirs in you?" Dorothy prodded, pressing hard, disregarding her friend's scandalized gasp.
"Miss Dorothy!" Grace exclaimed wide-eyed.
"Oh, Grace. Hush now. You're married. I been married. There's nothing Michaela can say that can shock either of us." She shifted her attention from the café owner and returned it to Michaela.
"Tell us, Michaela. Did you only choose Sully 'cause of the way he makes you feel?"
"No! Yes… I…" Michaela laid a hand over her stomach in an effort to quell the sense of butterflies fluttering wildly about. "I did choose him because of the way he makes me feel, but not just… not just in that way," she protested. "I picked him because he knows me better than anyone ever has. Because he knows how to comfort me, calm me when I'm upset. Because seeing him is always the brightest part of my day. Because he makes me feel safe. Makes me feel loved. Because he makes me feel strong. Because he's willing to stand at my side without always trying to do everything for me."
"And yes… because he makes me feel things I've never felt before. Here," she laid an open palm over her heart, "and deep inside me in ways I never knew I could feel or should feel." She pressed a fist low against her belly. "It frightens me," she confided. "And excites me. I picked him because he makes me happy." Tears sparkled in her eyes and she clapped a hand over her mouth, astounded by the frank outpouring of emotion.
"Well, then," Grace grinned. "Why don't you tell him what you just told us?"
"I don't know," Dorothy cautioned. "I think it's gonna take more than just telling him."
"B-But…" Michaela stammered.
"I've known Sully for a number of years now," Dorothy interrupted. "He loved Abagail but losin' her changed him. Livin' with the Cheyenne changed him."
She shrugged. "He's different than he was when he first came to Colorado Springs. Oh, he was never one of those wild types that would come carousing into town from the mines or the surrounding ranches, but he was… younger. More open. He laughed more. Losing Abagail and the baby, well…"
Dorothy knuckled away a tear from the corner of her eye.
"Well, he's just different, is all I'm sayin'. He's more turned into himself. He lost that spark, that light of laughter I used to see in his eyes. But lately, with you…" She sighed and leaned back in her chair.
"He ain't ever gonna be the same man he was back then, but he's been more alive since the two of you came together than I've seen him in years. And you hurt him, Michaela. Not just his feelings, but also his pride."
"Sully's not a prideful man," Michaela protested.
"Of course he is," Grace cut in. "All men are. All women too."
"Grace is right, Michaela. He's not full of pride in a sinful way, but he's got his pride, just like any man does." Dorothy said. "Do you really believe he didn't care what others were thinking? That he didn't notice the snickering laughs? The sidelong glances and stares of other folk?"
"What are you saying, Dorothy? Are you saying that you think I'm too late? That there's no hope for us?"
"Oh, Michaela. Of course not. Grace is right about another thing. Anyone who looks at the two of you knows that you have somethin' special between ya. The way he looks at you…" Dorothy clasped her hands against her bosom and sighed. "Why it's like something from a romantic novel," she exclaimed, drawing another blush from the doctor.
"But you can't just tell him how you feel." Dorothy gave her a pointed look. "You gotta show him."
"How do I do that?" Michaela asked helplessly.
"Well, I don't know. Maybe, maybe you can court him."
Grace turned her head slowly toward the older woman, eyes wide with admiration.
"Court him?" Michaela repeated unsurely.
"Oh, my! Yes!" Grace exclaimed, excitement coloring her voice. "I agree with Miss Dorothy. Sully ain't a man of many words," she commented drily.
"No, I do enough talking for both of us," Michaela admitted in a wry voice and the three women giggled in nervous agreement.
"You're gonna have to show him how you feel about him, Michaela. You're gonna have to court him," Dorothy repeated, pressing the point home with a raised brow and a sympathetic smile.
"Court him…" Michaela mused, as a shiver of nervous anticipation rippled down her spine. "Fine." She straightened her spine determinedly. "Do either of you ladies have any suggestions for how I should go about doing that?"
Dorothy and Grace exchanged an excited glance.
"Well, maybe you could…" Dorothy lowered her voice and the three friends whispered and planned as the sun slid behind the mountain peaks.
TBC