June 1921
They both rose from their seats as I entered the room. Even if they were vampires, at least they were gentlemen. What a ridiculous thought! I saw Edward smirk again. Would I ever get used to that?
"Edward, since you seem to know everything, you know I need help with the buttons on this dress."
The smirk was replaced with a mix of shock and horror—or was it just embarrassment? His mouth was slightly slack and he didn't seem to be able to react. Putting a coat on me was one thing, buttoning up my dress was something else. I turned to Carlisle, who was looking at Edward with concern over his suddenly stony appearance. "Doctor, since Edward seems a little out of sorts, would you mind? This dress actually fits, and I didn't want to destroy it by attempting to button it."
I didn't know how I was keeping any sort of wit about me.
"Yes, of course," Carlisle said as he made his way over to me. I lifted my hair out of the way, and his hands deftly moved over the buttons. "There," he said as he finished.
"Thank you," I calmly said. I released my hair and looked at Edward again, who now looked recovered, and studied his angelic young face. "How old are you?"
"Twenty."
"How long have you been twenty?"
"Well, my birthday was two days ago."
"When were you changed?"
"1918 so technically I'm seventeen forever."
"You were born in 1901?"
"Yes."
"That was the same year my sister was born." I felt so many emotions as I thought for the first time in a long time of Millie. Even as I thought of her though it again was like looking through fog. My mind struggled for images of her. While the present was so clear my past seemed shrouded with some images clearer than others, but I felt a disconnection from it. I searched for Millie: teaching a child to play the piano…playing tag behind the house…holding her hand as we walked home from school…leaving to go to school in Columbus…looking for a kitten in a tree…my wedding day…her wedding day…her laughing with Charles…a letter with the words printed "I'm in a delicate condition." She was a mother by now. I tried to envision her with a baby in her arms and Adam at her side, but I couldn't see it. I couldn't create it. My mind was broken.
"It isn't broken," Edward said. "Like everything, it has changed. You are the same person but while your new mind remembers everything forever, your human memories are faded."
"But there are things I don't want to forget," I argued.
"And you can hold onto those thoughts, but they will never be as clear as the memories in this life." There was a moment of silence. I heard a rabbit chase another across the dew-soaked grass beyond the closed window. "Your sister – you had a falling out?"
"Please," I begged, feeling more emotions than I knew how to contain. I shook my head rapidly. I didn't know if I wanted to force the thoughts out or let them all flood in. My head screamed at me to focus on something else Esme. I looked past them both toward the window. The sky was getting lighter.
"Do I need to go sleep in a coffin before the sun destroys me, or is that just another vampire legend?" Maybe that is what I wanted – to walk into the sun and end what I started.
"Don't think like that," I heard Edward say. Did he just scold me? "Yes, I did. I was in your same position not very long ago. Please, just hear Carlisle out. I know you want to trust him, and he is worth trusting."
I stared at him. Edward, you see everything. You know. This is unreal. He nodded and spoke, "Alice in Wonderland is a good analogy for what you are feeling at the moment but eventually the Lewis Carroll part of this life will fade and the reality of it will set in."
I looked over at Carlisle. He was watching us both intently, wondering what was occurring in the one-sided verbal conversation. Trying to get us back on track, he said, "To answer your question, we don't sleep."
"Ever?" I felt shocked by this. I relished curling up in my bed and letting dreams overtake me. It seemed in this life where destruction would rule my survival, I would need their protection again – the ability to escape from the pain again.
"No. We don't require it, and our minds don't let us. And as for the sun, it won't destroy us but we do have to avoid it."
"How did you discover that?"
"Discover what?"
"That it won't destroy us?" We were an "us" now. This unique life made all three people in this room an "us."
"Esme, why don't you sit down, and I'll explain everything." Carlisle gestured toward a rather solid-looking chair but I sat gingerly. This type of destruction could not continue to be my lot.
"It will get easier. I'll help you," said Edward. "Because although you don't fully grasp it yet, you need a lot of help. We walk among humans. We blend in. Right now, you couldn't blend in no matter how hard you tried." He laughed at himself. "Plus, you would probably go on one hell of a killing spree."
"Edward!" Carlisle scolded this time. "That isn't helping."
"Sorry."
"You still need to work on controlling your impulses."
"I'm getting better," Edward said with a crooked smile.
"Yes, I certainly acknowledge that in some regards you are doing exceedingly well, but please don't frighten her."
Fright just didn't seem like an appropriate word, but I wasn't going to waste time correcting him. I was too confused to be frightened. "Tell me everything."
He nodded. "I was born in London in the year 1643."
I felt my eyes widen. Some human tendencies still existed. "That makes you-"
"I've been on this earth 278 years."
"Oh my," I breathed. A moment later I blurted out, "You don't sound British."
Edward guffawed. Carlisle smirked at me for a moment and then spoke with a perfect British accent, "Many years of practice and living in this country have eroded it away."
I nodded and pulled my jaw shut as he continued back in his normal voice, "My mother died giving birth to me, and I was raised by my father, who was an Anglican minister. I had no siblings. My father, of course, was very devout and I had a strict, deeply religious upbringing. I tried to follow in his footsteps but as I grew older, our deep seated beliefs took different paths. But I was his son and I was obedient." I could hear a bit of disgust in his voice. Was he disgusted at himself or his father? I didn't ask and let him continue.
"My father believed that dark creatures roamed this world and must be destroyed. Creatures that you have always believed to be as you put it, fiction or legends. Witches, werewolves and of course, vampires. He led a crusade of sorts to hunt down these creatures and as I got older, I also became a witch hunter. The difference between my father and me was that he was quick to accuse while I looked for the truth. I didn't want to see the innocent suffer. My father's flock though, had so much faith in him that if he accused someone, they believed him and, whether the person was innocent or not, it never ended well. As much as I hated being in my station, at least it gave me some control, but my father continued to pressure me to find the evil ones on this earth. He saw my failings in that I could not find one person to accuse."
His eyes were no longer in the room but envisioning something and somewhere from long ago. "But that changed one night. I refused to see evil where it didn't exist but then, on what I expected to be a fruitless search, we came across them. It was 1666 and I was 23 years old. We drew them out."
"How?"
He chuckled but it was laced with bitterness. "A mob of humans approaching a pack of hungry vampires – I'm sure our scent alone drew them out. The crowd was armed with pitchforks and axes, for what little they would do, and I was at the front. They came out of their hiding spots. Drawn like a moth to the flame by our scent, the noise, the rage…" He shook his head as he relived the moment in his mind. "They began to run away, screaming in Latin, but that must have been a trick to get us to pursue, for even in their sorry state, they still could have easily escaped us. I ran ahead of the crowd, chasing down one of the ancient creatures. In an instant he turned and fell on me. I didn't even see him stop or turn around. Suddenly, I was pinned on to the ground, pain searing my neck. Two men tried to pull him off me, and he turned on them. I could hear screams but the pain was blinding. I somehow scrambled away in the middle of chaos. I knew the stories. I knew the legends. I knew what I was hunting and the hunter had just become the prey. My father would see anything and anyone touched by such evil destroyed…even his only child.
"I crawled off the street, down an alleyway, escaping. The houses were getting farther apart. I saw an ajar door to a root cellar and I fell into it. It had not been entered for a while, and the odor of rotting vegetation permeated the air, but it was quiet, cold and lonely. It was a place to hide. It was a place to die. I buried myself in the pile of rotting potatoes, waiting for the agonizing, searing pain to overcome me, for surely it was killing me. At least I would die here and not at the hands of my father's destruction, which I knew would be torturous. The pain seared on for what felt like eternity and I thought maybe it would have been better to have died at my father's command. But suddenly my heart was pounding heavily – it was racing in my ears as I had never heard it before. Then there was silence.
"I lay there for another day. My throat burning but afraid to move. As night came on the fourth day since I was attacked, I emerged from the cellar. Like you experienced tonight, Esme, I was overwhelmed by my senses. I quickly understood what I had become and mourned for the life I had lost. At the same time, my throat was pulling me toward the human population, but my mind was pulling me away. I couldn't take lives, kill for my own satisfaction and needs."
I felt apprehensive of the direction that this story seemed to be heading in, but I needed him to continue. "What did you do?" I asked quietly.
"I tried to destroy myself."
I looked at Edward, and he just shrugged and shook his head.
"As you can see, it was a failed attempt….failed multiple attempts."
"What did you try?"
He rambled off the list, "I tried drowning, jumping from extreme heights, falling on a sword, staking myself, going in the sun, and starvation."
"But what happened when you tried those things?"
"Because we don't need to breathe to live, I found myself sitting on the bottom of a lake for hours. When I jumped off a cliff, I created a crater. I broke the sword and the stake. And the sun…well, while it doesn't burn us or damage us, we must avoid it."
"Why?"
"It will sound ridiculous if I describe it to you."
"Doctor Cullen-"
"Carlisle."
"Carlisle, everything is sounding a bit farfetched at the moment, but I'm doing my best to absorb it all as the truth."
"It will be easier to show you later," he calmly said.
I stared at him, but the subject seemed dead for the moment. "Fine."
He continued, "I wandered for months. I was hungry and weak but I felt my willpower failing so I avoided the human populace. One day, I lay on the forest floor, going mad with hunger. A herd of deer came within a kilometer of where I hid. I couldn't take it anymore and fell on one of them. There was no thought in it. My instincts just pulled me toward it. I didn't know how I did it, but suddenly I had a drained deer on my lap. I went after another one. For the first time in months, my head felt clearer. I felt hope. I felt better. My strength returned. I realized then that no human had to die for me to continue to exist. I ate venison in my human life; this was just an alternative way of having a meal."
"So then what?"
"I resolved that my life would go on. I couldn't go back to my father, but I could go on. I had to decide what I could do with what had been given to me, immortality. I wouldn't waste it on the singular drive of the next meal. There had to be more. There had to be a reason for this, so over the next few months I spent time thinking about who I had become and who I would become. I found myself again."
"So what did you do with this newly discovered self?"
"It wasn't an easy discovery. Like you are now, I couldn't just walk into town and start interacting with the humans.
"I worked on controlling my movements and my voice. I inched closer to populations, getting accustomed to the scent of humans, forcing myself away if I felt urges begin to addle my brain and bring on desire."
"And your eyes?"
He looked surprised by my question, and Edward spoke up with a snicker, "She is surprisingly lucid, but she hasn't had her brain truly addled yet."
"Edward, don't be rude," I heard myself admonish him, but immediately regretted it.
Edward laughed, "She is lucid but she is also impulsive. Anything that she asks has no thought behind it. The moment it enters her thoughts, it crosses her lips. "
"I'm sorry. It is not like me."
"You don't have to apologize, Esme. It is going to take time to feel like you again. As Carlisle said, it was months. For me I think it was longer."
Carlisle smiled, "Yes, three years and you are still working on it."
"Touché, old man."
"Please continue. I heard a bit of a whine in my voice.
"I had been trying to figure out how to handle the issue of my new eye color. I had gone north toward Cambridge. I began sneaking into the University's library at night, pouring over medical journals and textbooks. Looking for something I could use as an explanation. As pale as I had become, albinism was starting to seem like a good explanation but then one day it wasn't an issue anymore.
"I was rinsing myself off in a stream after hunting and I saw my reflection in the water. My eyes had changed. They were no longer glowing red. They were not yet the color that you see now but more amber than topaz. In any case, they looked normal and more human-like."
I felt my concentration beginning to slip. I yearned to know everything that he had been through and knew it was a story that was just beginning and would take a long time to learn. He was only touching the surface. But the fire in my throat was starting to become difficult to ignore.
"She needs to hunt," Edward interrupted.
"Already?" Carlisle asked.
"I'm fine," I argued. I wasn't ready to end this conversation yet.
"She's a newborn, Carlisle. Remember?"
"A newborn?" My curiosity was stirred.
"That's what newly created vampires are referred to until they start to behave normally," Carlisle answered.
"Normally?"
"What I was telling you before about your enhance abilities at the moment. You cut me off before."
"And she is going to cut you off again. It is overcast. Story time can wait, Carlisle," argued Edward.
"No, tell me. Newborns," I insisted.
"When a vampire is first created, they are incredibly powerful. As I told you earlier, you are stronger and faster than either of us."
"I haven't raced her yet," Edward interrupted again.
He gave Edward a stern look. "You will never be as strong or as fast as you are now. Over the next year as your eyes change, so will these abilities but during this time period a vampire is referred to by our kind as a newborn."
A faded memory entered my mind, and I spoke the words aloud to myself, "You'll find it is instinctual with newborns. They don't even have to think about it."
"What is that?" Carlisle asked.
"I'm sorry, I'm apparently easily distracted."
Edward bellowed at my sarcasm. I believe newborn or not, Carlisle was questioning my sanity.
"I'm sorry. So you were secretly studying at Cambridge at night, which in itself is amazing."
"Why is that?"
"You were at Cambridge! One of the oldest and most prestigious universities in the world. What I would give…have given…" I went silent. What could I say? Doctor Cullen, the last time you saw me, you sent me off with a cast that ended my academic career? It is not like women can attend Cambridge anyway but I didn't even have a high school diploma and this man studied at Cambridge.
"Keep talking, Carlisle," Edward quietly said.
"I didn't officially study at Cambridge but once my eyes changed, I started looking at other subjects in the library at night until one night I decided I was ready."
"Ready for what?"
"To attempt to walk among humans."
"Were you frightened?"
"I was terrified not only of what I could do to them but what they could do to me. The only way I could find out if it would work was by entering the population. I started out by walking through town after sunset, making sure my movements were as slow and as human-like as possible. When I mastered that, I entered taverns. I figured if something was off with me, the inebriated would blame it on the ale. I started having conversations, short at first and then longer, with various patrons. If something felt wrong, I would make my excuses, leave and work on improving my actions. I kept waiting for someone to call me out for what I had become, but it didn't happen.
"Comfortable enough with my behavior, I decided to leave England and head to France. Once in Europe, I decided to truly educate myself. I saw all of Europe. I learned new languages. I enrolled in universities. I studied music, art, science and sometimes I blame it on those Cambridge textbooks but also medicine."
"Don't be modest, Carlisle."
"Yes, don't be modest, Carlisle," I repeated.
H e didn't react. He carried on with his story, ignoring our teasing. "I studied at night. Music was attractive because it is a universal language. The notes on the page don't change regardless of what language the musician speaks. Art also doesn't require a language to be admired. I began studying science because I was looking for answers."
"Answers to what?"
"Anything. Everything. My youth had been dominated by religion and all my reference points were based on that faith. It wasn't that I was abandoning my faith, but I felt like there was room for more."
"You have a strong faith for someone so wronged."
"I've never been given a reason to doubt God's existence."
"Not even what you have become?"
"Especially what I have become."
I had to ponder that one because at the moment, I didn't know what to believe.
"I matriculated often," he continued. "I would focus on an area of study, earn a diploma, then move on but then I began to feel what Edward refers to as my calling."
"Your calling?"
"Medicine in earnest. I wanted to help people, and the science of humans was more intriguing to me than any other subject. I began studying to become a doctor and when my medical degree was conferred, I moved onto somewhere else and began studying again."
"But how is that possible? How can you resist it? How were you able to stitch up my leg?"
"Or the thousands of patients I saw before you? Again, it was practice. I didn't trust myself for a long time to handle patients alone; that is why I kept studying instead of just jumping into practice. As a student, I could stand back and observe with witnesses present. If I felt overwhelmed, I could leave and blame it on becoming sick. I would never be the first or last medical student to do so. I spent more than a hundred years traveling and learning medicine in different lands. At the same time, I was searching for others like me. I found vampires but none that agreed to my dietary restriction. Some even tried to change my ways, but I knew I didn't want to live that way.
"In 1818 I traveled to the United States and never returned to Europe. I still wasn't practicing. I studied more but also became more clinical. In 1830, after completing my studies at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, I stayed and began to work in the hospital and my medical career began in earnest. I stayed in Philadelphia for twelve years but realized that since I was not aging, I had to move on. So I did, over and over again. I would settle somewhere for a decade or so, always working the overnight shift at the hospital. I blended in."
"I can't imagine you just blending in."
"What do you mean?"
"You…you don't look like everyone else." Because you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen.
"At night people don't seem to notice as much."
"I'm sure they notice you." Our eyes met for a moment, but I looked away, afraid he might see the stupid girl who noticed him and never forgot him. "So you are a nomad? No permanent home?"
"On the contrary, for our kind's existence, my life is anything but nomadic. Most vampires are truly nomadic with no roof above their heads. They wander the earth, always driven by the pursuit of the next meal. While some travel together for company or mutual protection, most are alone and have never had a home since they were changed. All they possess is what they carry with them, which is mostly just the clothes on their backs. The only time they spend among humans is when they are hunting."
"So why are you different? Why when that is the way the rest of our kind lives do you choose to live so differently and dangerously?" I felt frustrated with him.
"For a multitude of reasons," Carlisle said, the calmness in his voice never wavering. "Because of my calling to help humans and the fact that I had mastered that ability."
"But aren't you always afraid that the blood will start flowing and you won't be able to resist?"
"That is why I waited so long to practice. To ensure that of what you speak will not happen. It isn't without some difficulty but as time has gone by, I find it becomes less and less difficult."
"What other reasons?" My voice was demanding and so was my mind. Why was I being so rude?
"You can't help it, Esme, and Carlisle knows that," chimed in Edward.
"Life became less lonely when I could exist among humans. Granted, I could never truly become close with anyone, but I didn't spend my days completely void of contact."
"Why then if life was less lonely did you change Edward?" Was I angry? Was I sad? Was I appalled? So many emotions and I couldn't attach myself to one.
"I'd spent decades considering the idea of creating a companion for myself. Yes, the people I worked with gave me a connection for a few hours a day but I could never get close. Just one other person who could really know me, rather than what I pretend to be. I could never justify doing what had been done to me."
"What changed?"
"My mother," Edward mumbled.
"Your mother?" My voice rose with surprise.
"Do you want to tell this part, Edward, or should I?"
"Go ahead."
"Edward was dying of Spanish Influenza in Chicago."
"Are you from Chicago?" I asked.
"Born and raised," Edward confirmed.
Carlisle continued, "His father had already passed and his mother begged me to save her only son."
"You have lived through times of war and death before. What made this mother's plea different?" I demanded.
His calmness finally interrupted, he spoke, "That is what was amazing and frightening to me. She took a bad turn quickly and she was too weak to fight anymore…but she didn't look weak as she glared up at me from her cot and demanded that I save him. I promised her I would do everything in my power. Her eyes were hard as she demanded that I must do everything in my power…'what others cannot, do, that is what you must do for my Edward.'"
"Did she know?" I whispered.
"Her eyes were piercing and for one instant I felt certain she knew my secret. But then the fever overwhelmed her, and she never regained consciousness. She died with a few hours."
I looked at the boy sitting across from me, "I'm sorry, Edward."
"Thank you," he quietly said, the humor gone from his face.
"Her voice, her words echoed in my head. How could she guess what I could do? Could anyone really want this life for her son?" His head turned to look across the room at Edward and his face changed. The anguish was fading, and I could see the care he felt for him. "I looked at him and, as sick as he was, he was still beautiful. There was something pure and good about his face. After so many years of indecision, I simply acted on a whim. The hospital was so busy and there were not enough hands or enough eyes to notice that he was still breathing when I wheeled him to the morgue. It was empty. I stole him out the back door and back to my home.
"I wasn't quite sure what had to be done. I had never changed anyone before nor had I ever seen it done. I settled for recreating the wounds I'd received, which I learned were more painful and lingering than necessary."
"But what you learned helped you with her," Edward said as he looked directly at Carlisle and gestured toward me.
"Yes, I was more precise with where I bit you. The process of changing was a bit faster for you, which was amazing considering how bad your injuries were and how close to being gone that you were…you should have been gone."
"So after centuries alone, you had chosen your one companion – just one other person who could know you. He is sitting right here. If that is what you needed to spare you from loneliness, why am I here?"
The silence was deafening. I glanced toward Edward, who was staring at Carlisle. His face looked like he was waiting for an answer as well…or maybe he was listening to what was going on in Carlisle's mind. Carlisle was staring back at Edward.
"Was I just a whim?" I flatly asked.
"Yes you were but…" He paused for a moment as if he were collecting his thoughts before continuing, "I was shocked and saddened when I realized it was you. In all my years, I have never happened across a patient a second time living in a different location. I remembered you. The pretty, happy girl who tumbled out of a tree rescuing an ungrateful cat at the urging of her brother and sister. The straight A student who was named after her late grandmother who had been her favorite person and she missed every day. The girl who I gave my handkerchief to, who still had it in her pocket ten years later when she was once again my patient."
My eyes widened as he waved the little worn square of cloth at me.
"I remember the girl who said to me regarding the nine lives of cats, 'I will try to remember that the next time there's a cat in a tree. If the cat falls, chances are it has another life to live. If I fall, well, I only have one chance to live this life so I better make it count by not climbing after cats.' I couldn't imagine what made you climb after a cat again. So deep at 16. So full of life and so bright. I couldn't imagine one such as you could leave this earth willingly at such a young age. I wanted to know what could have gone so wrong to one who had so much before her. Yes, you were a whim in that I had to make a decision quickly but it felt like it would be a waste to let you go."
"But I wanted to go," I stated, the bitterness clear in my tone. "I didn't fall. I jumped."
"I know." The calming voice returned.
"Then if you know or knew…"
"Just because one life was lost, another one didn't need to end."
"So are you claiming God status now?"
"Are you?"
"Excuse me?"
"God didn't strike you down with illness. He didn't kill you when you were bearing your son. You chose to end your life prematurely, and I chose to keep you on earth."
"Why?"
"I've seen thousands of patients, Esme, and have seen hundreds die in front of me. As I remembered you, thought about you as a girl, I knew you had to be suffering greatly, as your injuries were extensive. I wanted to put an end to your pain."
"By putting me through the most painful experience of my life?" The tone of my voice was high again.
"With the hope that you would come out on the other side in a better place. I'm still trying to rationalize to myself why you were so different. Was it the pre-existing knowledge of your or was it something else?"
"Well, please let me know when you figure that one out." Did I just growl at him?
"You will be the first one to know."
"No, I won't because Edward will know first." I sulked.
"She catches on quickly," Edward said, the humor returning to his voice.
"So how did you go from the girl with the broken leg to the shattered woman in the morgue?"
Was it his turn for questions now? It didn't seem fair when I still had so many. I would give them the brief version. They only needed to know the highlights. There was no reason now to tell them the full details of my whole gruesome and embarrassing story.
"I was married to a man who abused me. When I found out I was expecting his child, I fled Columbus and went to live with my second cousin and her family in Milwaukee. They sheltered me until my family found out where I was. My cousin's husband helped me flee and create a new life for myself here. I took a new name and pledged to never contact my family again. I planned to live a new life with my child and never look back."
"So what happened?" Carlisle asked.
"Edward was a beautiful baby. He reminded me of my younger brother. He looked nothing like his father, Charles. In a moment I had gone from just an ordinary woman to having something that I would sacrifice everything for and live completely for. For three days, I was the happiest I had ever been. I was a mother to the most incredible child. He was everything I ever wanted or needed. Then he started coughing. I thought he was just eating too fast. But then the doctor said his lungs were infected and there was nothing he could do. A week after I welcomed him into my life, I was putting him in the ground." My emotions again were raw and I cried out, "It wasn't fair! He had done nothing wrong. He was completely innocent. I had left everything behind – my name, my life, my family. I couldn't go back. There was nothing to go back to, and there was nothing left to propel me forward. I couldn't survive in that emptiness. I stood at an impasse. I decided the only ones who mattered were gone, so I prayed that God would accept me into his kingdom to be with my grandmother and my son. And I jumped. I expected, or at least hoped, to open my eyes again in heaven…" A God and an angel maybe, but this wasn't what I was expecting. I felt that I was calming down.
He looked me in the eyes as he spoke quietly. "Your spine and pelvis were shattered. Your spleen was ruptured. You had massive internal bleeding. Your right lung was collapsed. The back of your skull was fractured. You also had more than a dozen other broken bones. Three men found you on their way out to fish."
"There were three? I only thought I heard two."
"You heard them?"
"I was in the dark. I couldn't feel anything, but I could hear them talking. And I heard a familiar voice – it was you."
"I don't know how your heart was still beating. It was so faint they just assumed you were dead. It had to have been a couple hours since you fell-"
"Jumped. It is okay. I said it. It was my decision. I jumped."
"By the time they brought you in, something inside you was fighting to live."
"I was begging God to let me die."
"But he wasn't ready for you."
"But you were," I whispered. Why were my hands shaking?
"When I saw you, I knew I was."
"So what did you do?"
"I brought you back here. I was praying that you would just hold on until I got you home. Once I got you here, I bit you right away." My hand flew to the mark now on my throat. "Edward said you noticed it. As I said earlier, I learned from my experience with Edward to place the bites more strategically. I tried to inject venom into your major veins and arteries to help it move faster through your bloodstream."
"Did you drink my blood?"
"Very little. I was trying to push venom in not pull blood out."
"Was I really screaming?"
"Yes, you were. Luckily, we don't have neighbors close by."
"Why was it so painful?"
"The venom burns through your veins. It consumes the blood in your system and changes you and at the same time heals any wounds. It is painful because it is venom, therefore poison. Just as if you were bitten by a snake or a spider, as the venom enters and moves through your bloodstream to incapacitate you, it thus causes tremendous pain."
"And just like a snake or a spider bite, it will kill you."
"In a matter of speaking, yes."
"So what is the one way to destroy us?"
There was silence for a moment before Edward addressed Carlisle, "She's fine. She couldn't do it to herself anyway."
"Our skin is so hard, so impenetrable that the only thing that can destroy a vampire is another vampire."
"How?"
"Using our strength or our teeth, we are the only thing that can cut through or break apart a vampire."
"So a vampire would need to literally pull another vampire apart to destroy him?"
"Not only would he need to rip him apart but he would then have to quickly burn the pieces before he can pull himself back together and heal." I was stunned, but he continued, "If you or I were to be attacked and, say, a limb was torn off, the limb would just need to get back toward the body and it would reattach itself. It takes a little time to heal and from what I understand it is incredibly painful…actually, it is pretty much the only time vampires can ever feel physical pain. In just a few hours, though, it will be as good as new."
"How do you know all this?"
"I have spent time among others of our kind. Sometimes just in passing and sometimes for longer."
"How many of our kind are there out there?"
"I don't think anyone will ever really know, but I have met ones from every continent except Antarctica."
"How many have you met?"
"I've met 158 vampires and you would be 159."
I looked down at my hands against the fabric of my fragile dress. My head popped up and I looked from one face to the other. Edward's eyes reacted to the question before it came out of my mouth. "Who changed me?"
Carlisle's brow furrowed. "I did. I explained-"
"Not that change." I touched the rose-colored material. "I wasn't wearing a clean white nightgown when I jumped. I was wearing a dress. I woke up in a nightgown."
"It was ruined. It was covered in your blood, and I had to rip parts of it to get to your skin. I'm sorry but I thought you would be more comfortable waking up in something new and clean."
I didn't know what to be more embarrassed about, but then Edward chimed in, "Don't worry, Esme. He's a doctor. It was strictly professional."
Carlisle and I glared at him. I felt awkward. I also felt thirsty. Edward jumped to his feet. "Carlisle, why don't you run into town to take care of what you need to do at the hospital and I'll take Esme out for a snack."
"No, you are not to hunt with her alone," Carlisle commanded.
"You handled me alone."
"Yes, and remember that it didn't always end well."
"Alright," Edward agreed, "we'll take her out hunting and then you can go to the hospital."
"I need clothes," I injected.
"We got you your things," Carlisle stated.
"No…I'm not the same size that I was before. I was much thinner before I became pregnant but I don't have the baby weight anymore so most of what I have will not fit. Plus, if I am going to destroy everything I wear when I hunt I am going to need a lot of clothes."
"I'll pick up some dresses for you when I'm in town."
"And some shirts and pants. It will be easier to hunt in than a dress."
"Alright. Anything else?" I bit my lip, which I quickly realized was a nervous human tendency. Humanity was still there inside me.
"You need to get over embarrassment, Esme. There are no secrets here," Edward said as he tapped his forehead.
"Undergarments, stockings and a good pair of flat shoes," I blurted out.
I could see Carlisle choking back his embarrassment but he didn't blush. He couldn't blush, could he? "No. Without blood there, the color doesn't change," Edward added.
I looked straight at him and thought, Shut up. He smiled and winked back.
"I'll take care of it, Esme," Carlisle assured me.
"Don't you need my measurements?"
"No, I can see what they are already."
"Oh." Tis time I was grateful not to blush. "Why do you have to go to the hospital?"
"To quit. I have a family situation that is forcing me to leave immediately and I will be unable to return."
"And then where are we going? You said we have to move on."
"For the time being, Virginia, Minnesota. It is a lumber and mining town in the central part of the state. They need a doctor."
"I have never heard of it."
"Well, now you have. It is going to be your home for a while."
"A while?"
"While you adjust."
"Adjust?"
"Carlisle, she has time to adjust later," Edward said, his impatience reacting to the burning in my throat, therefore in my mind.
"There's so much more I want to know."
Carlisle spoke, "And there is an eternity ahead of you to ask every single question and I will give you every single answer, but for the moment, let's take care of what you need now."
We were outside again in an instant. The sky was overcast. I could smell the rain approaching as we ran deeper into the forest. I tried not to get too far ahead of them. I fell into pace with Edward, Carlisle bringing up the rear. Something already felt natural about this. Was it because I had done it once already or was I beginning to accept that Wonderland was real and this was now who I am?
A scent invaded my nostrils and I changed direction slightly, once again seeking my temporary relief.
Thank you so much for your feedback back on Chapter 1! Please keep the reviews coming!
Is there a moment in this story that you want me to include? I have my plans but is there something that you are dying to read about, let me know.
Thank you so much for your patience! While The Human Years allowed me to create a world for Esme, the introduction of Carlisle and Edward to the story presents a daunting challenge. Why? Because I strive to be as true to those characters as possible and that took time. I also have had a challenging time in my real life job that has limited my time to focus on writing. I hope it was worth the wait.
Thank you to betas quothme, sweetishbubble and, as always, theCullenPixie.
So there were no sewers in London in the 1660s so that is why I was not specific about where Carlisle found the ancient vampires. If you haven't noticed by now, I tend to side with actual history versus Stephenie's version of history. While she was great at researching places, she wasn't good at checking dates. I have to thank Stephenie though for much of this chapter.
READER FEEDBACK
While you can read each other reviews, you can't see my feedback so here are a few thoughts that I'll share based on your reviews.
Book Three will be The Twilight Years. Book Two will take Esme's story until the Cullens move to Forks so expect Book Two to be very long. The Twilight Years will be their arrival in Forks through post-Breaking Dawn.
When it comes to Edward and Esme, there are a couple reasons why they are so carefree.First, Edward is only 20 years old, not 80. He doesn't carry the same baggage that he does in Twilight. As for Esme, she is a bit out of sorts and certainly not herself. She is a newborn. Her mind is racing and absorbing so much. Her senses are heightened and her emotions are out of whack. Everything is instinct driven and she pretty much has no filter at the moment. She is overwhelmed by the unreal situation she is suddenly in and her reactions are not typical Esme.
Look for some notes about The Human Years in my profile as well as a profile update soon.
Disclaimer: All Twilight canon characters in this story are created and the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author "Esme Mom Cullen" (Twitter: _Esme_Cullen, OhMyCarlisle & esmecullemom ). The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.