Chapter 7

Alex

After dropping Olivia off, I went home. I figured my work day was beginning soon so I just showered and dressed for work. I like my pencil skirts for work but I find it's a little easier to do slacks when I'm not going to court. I only have 2 arraignments in the afternoon and I'm spending my day at the precinct so I went with slacks. I'm not trying to give the sex offenders and Munch too much of a show.

Cragen has loaned me a desk for the duration of this case. I want to be on hand whenever this guy is caught. I want to make sure everything is by the book. SVU has some of the best detectives but sometimes small details can get overlooked when they're tired or too excited. I lug in my laptop bag and briefcase and find my workspace.

SVU is probably the best unit when it comes to stuff like this. No other precinct is so willing to make space available for an ADA. Most of the precincts get too nervous with any attorneys around. I set up all of my stuff at the desk and begin working. I'm pretty glad Andrews signed a confession this morning.

I don't see Cragen, Fin, or Munch for at least 30 minutes and I start to wonder where they may be. I pick up my purse to check for texts and realize I've had 2 missed calls and received 4 texts. My ringer is off. I realize I never turned it on after leaving the interrogation room earlier. Both calls are from Cragen's cell. I check the only voicemail he left. The texts are from Munch and give me an address that is only 5 blocks away and let me know there is another body. The texts arrived within the past 15 minutes so I just send back an on my way message. I push everything into desk drawers, grab my purse and leave as fast as I can.

CSU is working the crime scene when I arrive. Another woman, a blond, is sprawled in an alley. This is the 9th body. She only dressed from the waist up. She has so many cuts on her lower body. The general lack of blood around the body says she wasn't killed here. Warner is speaking with Fin and Munch. Cragen waves me over and says, "Somebody saw him, Alex. We have a witness this time."

"Where is the witness?"

"He's speaking with a couple uniforms inside of the store," Cragen gestures toward the building in front of us and adds, "He was stopping in for a cup of coffee and saw a man run past him. He looked in the alley and saw her. His name is David Warren and he got a good look at this hump."

"Please tell me this store had some type of working surveillance system," I plead. So far, every body dump has been away from any working cameras. One building had a camera but didn't actually record anything. The owners only displayed it on a monitor behind the register.

Cragen nods. "They had one at the corner pointing at the door. There was another pointing at the street and a third inside that only views inside the store. The store owner says there were several robberies here last year. They stopped after the cameras were installed. Hopefully, the perp was caught by one of the cameras."

Fin makes his way to us. He gives me a smile and says, "Maybe we can get this thing wrapped up before the sleeping beauties wake from their naps."

Moments later, a uniformed officer approaches Fin. They speak quietly for a moment. Fin starts to follow the officer but stops and calls out, "We need to go inside. We need to see the video." We all follow Fin to find out what new revelation will be made.

One of the CSU techs is sitting with a 40ish black male. The man seems shaken but says, "I saw him on the video, Detective. I saw that sick bastard." There is a monitor in front of this man and I see a white male on the screen. The CSU tech has the same image on a laptop screen. It's been enlarged enough to show he's wearing thin frame glasses. He, also, looks amazingly thin and fairly tall.

"It's like I told the detective, he's tall. I'm 5'10 and he was at least a head taller than me. He was skinny like he was anorexic. His hair is dark brown. I don't know what color his eyes were. He got into a car. The camera showed that much. I'm pretty sure it was blue. You can see on the video an Chevy Impala."

The CSU tech forwards the video to the car. It does look like an Impala. I see the odd little shape on the rear back window. Impalas have those but I don't know if any other vehicle does. Munch smiles and says, "I'm pretty sure that is an Impala. Did you get a plate number?"

The tech shakes his head no but then says, "We may have something better. The owner says this guy comes in fairly often. He's in his office looking for a receipt. This guy uses his debit card here and was in here last night at closing. The receipt will list his name."

Moments later the manager rushes in with a few pieces of paper in his hand. He pushes them into Fin's hand and says, "I can't be sure which one is the right one but I know it's one of these. They're from the last 3 customers from yesterday. Each of them paid with debit cards."

Fin looks at the receipts and smiles. "Hey Captain, I'm going to go run these names and get the basic descriptions. I doubt each of these men will fit the description."

I love this part of the investigation. I really do. The moments when the detectives put a name and face to the perp is exciting. In these moments, the detectives don't look tired and overworked. They no longer seem sluggish.

Olivia

I wake up around noon because I'm starving. I haven't eaten since the spaghetti last night. I walk through my apartment and when I reach my refrigerator, I just groan. I don't have any food except stale bread and spoiled milk. I have a few eggs but they were outdated a while ago. I throw all of the old food out. I decide on a shower instead of lunch. It's honestly been days since I came home for more than an hour. Usually I only shower and change clothes while I'm here during a big case.

After showering, I make my way down the street to the nearest grocery store. I'm not buying much because everything I do buy today could be spoiled by the time I come home again. I'm not buying much, just some pasta and chicken. I'm thinking of making chicken alfredo. I pick up milk and sour cream also.

My phone vibrates in my front pocket. Alex is texting to say there has been another murder, a witness, video of the perp and a positive ID. I'm amazed. We went from no general description this morning to a name and face. I want to call and ask more but I can't in public. For some reason, most people find it disconcerting when I walk around public places discussing rape and other atrocities in a casual way. I text back saying thanks for the update.

After shopping and rushing home, I call Alex. She picks up on the second ring and says, "Cabot."

"Hey, it's Olivia. What happened this morning?"

"Liv, he dumped a body behind a convenience store. He rushed past a guy who looked in the alley after nearly being knocked down by a strange looking man. The witness saw a dead body and called 911. Turns out the perp is a regular at that particular store. Fin ran down IDs off some receipts after the witness viewed the store's surveillance videos."

"Thanks for letting me know Al. This is probably the best news I could've gotten today."

After she ends the call, I put away the groceries. I'm done with the idea of being off work. I text Elliot to let him know what's happened with the case. I know he isn't going to choose to end his day off. I change into work clothes then leave my apartment. I'm supposed to be off but I want to be part of this process. I can sleep tonight just like Fin and Munch will be.

The precinct is very busy when I arrive. Captain Cragen sees me and motions for me to join him. He gives me a smile and says, "Benson, you don't have to be here. I appreciate you coming in though."

"I just need to help with this guy."

"Cabot already has a warrant for his house and outbuildings. Fin and Munch are going to his place for that. I'm going to let you interrogate him. I'm not sure if he will respond well to you but it can't hurt to try."

"Thanks Captain. Is Dr. Huang coming in for this?"

"He should be in any minute. Do you want him to sit in on the interrogation?"

"Yes, he will probably be very helpful if this perp really hates women."

"Okay, Alex wants to watch the full interview. I will send her back when the Dr. gets here."

When Huang arrives, we head into the interrogation room together. Our perp is named Christopher Archer. He's 32 and stands 6'4. Oddly enough, his ID says he only weighs 170lbs. This guy looks painfully thin. I think a really strong wind would knock him over. He just sits at the table in the interrogation room. He isn't looking around at his surroundings. Christopher doesn't appear to care that he's being detained.

I introduce myself and Dr. Huang. Christopher has no reaction to us speaking. He doesn't even look in our general direction. Interviews are odd things. I could blow this interview with one question. My gender could mess it up for me. If he doesn't feel like he can trust me, it's a waste of time. That is why I wanted Huang with me. People tend to like him and trust him easier than they would trust a detective. So, I begin my interrogation of Christopher Archer with basic questions.

"Mr. Archer, do you prefer being called Chris or Christopher or would you prefer being called by your last name?" Silence.

"Okay, I'm going to just call you Chris until you give me a preference. Chris, what kind of work do you do?" Silence.

"Do you work day shift?" More silence.

Dr. Huang looks at me and gestures for the door. I get up and we leave the interrogation room together. Once outside, he says, "Liv, I think we could maybe get further if you aren't present. Let me try him by myself and see if he reacts when you aren't around." I just nod my head and he returns to the interrogation room alone.

He walks back into the room and heads straight toward a dirty window. He looks out for moments without speaking. He begins to move again, settling in the chair opposite Archer. Huang is smooth with most people. He has such a caring nature that disarms most people without much effort. He's so quiet as he offers this suspect a glass of water or a soft drink. Archer asks for a Coke. I dig some change out of my pocket and head down the hall. When I return with the soda, they are just sitting across the table from one another, not speaking.

I knock on the door before. For some reason, it seems this would be the best course of action. Dr. Huang calls for me to come in and I deliver the soda to Archer. I do this as quietly as possible. I return to the window and stand with Alex.

Forty-five minutes later, we don't have a confession. I didn't expect one. We do have a suspect who has hired a lawyer. We have a suspect who does shift work. We have a suspect who hates women and refers to them as bitches or whores. Since Archer lawyered up, the interrogation is over. He is moved to a cell until his arraignment tomorrow morning.

Fin and Munch have returned from their search with plenty of evidence. Several knives with what appears to blood, a mattress covered in what also appears to be blood, and plenty of pictures of spatter and spray patterns from inside of Archer's garage. There are also taevelopes of hair samples and other body fluid samples. All of this is going to the CSU guys and as long as all goes well, we should have a slam dunk conviction.

I'm not hungry any longer, I'm starving. I remember the food I bought earlier but I don't think I can handle trying to cook when I'm this hungry. I let the captain know I'm heading out and he just smiles. Everybody is going home tonight. I'm about to leave and I see Alex is still here. I'm feeling generous after she drove me home so I walk over to her.

"Hey, I'm finishing up my break from being off work. Thought I'd offer dinner to say thanks for the ride this morning. What do you say?"

She gives me a smile and says, "Do you always take breaks from off time?"

I smile and say, "Not always."

"Yes, Detective, I'd like to join you. Let me grab my things."

We meet up a few moments later and she drives us to a pizza joint. I've missed so many calories that I was fine with some pizza and beer. We sit in a booth and she immediately looks out the window. There's still some daylight left but not much. It's strange that Alex looks virtually the same but she does seem a little wary at times. It's nothing too noticeable but at times she just doesn't seem comfortable. Right now is one of those times. The server takes our drink orders quickly.

"Alex, are you ok? You don't look too comfortable."

"I'm fine. It's hard to explain but I'm not comfortable being out when it's dark. I can do it but I don't like it."

"Oh," I don't know what to say, "is this left from...that night?"

"Yes, I used to not mind but now it's just different. Sometimes, I don't really notice. Other times, I'm a little anxious. Once, I had a full blown panic attack."

"I didn't realize, Alex. If you want to do this another time, we could try to schedule an earlier time," I suggest this but I'm feeling like a jerk.

"No, Olivia. This is great. If I go hide when it's dark all of the time, I will never get past the anxiety. My therapist would have my head if she thought I entertain the idea of hiding after dark."

I give a shy smile, "Yeah, it's good to try to face your fears."

She changes the subject with, "What kind of pizza do you want?"

"Umm...this is my thanks to you. I like all pizza so pick what you want."

The server returns and Alex orders a large pepperoni and italian sausage. I'm sure she remembers it's my favorite because I remember her favorite involves vegetables. I don't mention this but I find myself smiling at a memory of us trying to decide how to order pizza for a movie night. She was trying to convince me to try a veggie pizza and I was pretending to gag.

We're both quiet for a few moments. I keep looking at her and remembering some moment. I remember our first kiss mainly. It was our second date. We ate at Mario's, I picked the restaurant. I stuttered throughout the entire evening. I was so nervous and anxious. Usually when I was around Alex, we talked nonstop but our dates were very different. On that night, we sat in silence. She would try to drag me into a conversation but I was too unnerved to speak. Finally, she slid her chair over next to mine and put her hand over mine. I froze. I couldn't move at all. I was barely able to breathe. After a few moments, she leaned close to my ear and whispered, "I'm going to kiss you now." And she did. After that I was different.

"Olivia, you have the goofiest smile right now, what are you thinking about?"

I blush, feeling caught, "ummm...just, well, Mario's. I was glad you brought it last night."

"I didn't know if their spaghetti had changed. I was glad to see you eat dinner though."

I feel so at home with her but suddenly I ask, "Why? Why couldn't you call me?"

I didn't want to get into this tonight. The question took me by surprise. Alex looks floored. She looks down for a moment. I can see her taking deep breaths. I realize that I don't want to hurt her but I need to know why she chose to hurt me. When she does look up, I see she's close to tears.

"I really wasn't me. I looked like me and I sounded like me, but nothing was right in my head. I stayed in my apartment for weeks before I worked up the nerve to come outside. When I was in the program, I had small fears but I felt safe. For 3 years, I was told if I came home I would die. Then, I came home. I expected to be murdered at any moment. I thought I could do it but I couldn't. I was afraid of every noise. Each time my phone rang, I would hide from it. I was falling apart."

"But," I begin.

"I tried to go see you at the precinct after a few weeks. I wanted to see you but I got scared. I convinced myself that I was too damaged to be worth wasting time on. I ended up taking a cab to One Hogan instead. Jack gave me a job but told me I had to go to therapy."

"Alex, I would've dropped everything for you."

"Liv, I had PTSD. I was convinced there was a shooter around me at all times. Every noise I heard involved somebody killing me. I didn't want you to see me like that."

"What about the engagement?"

"Robert was a family friend. We knew each other for years. I bumped into him and he was just a friend and he proposed. I thought I wanted a family so I agreed. I didn't love him. He was just there."

Morbid curiousity get to me and I ask, "Why didn't you marry him?"

The pizza arrives and we stop talking for a moment. I eat 2 slices and finish my second beer. Alex is still chewing the last bite of a slice. I don't even know what to make of what she's said so far.

Finally she says, "one night, I had a nightmare. I remember the dream but when I woke, Robert was furious with me. He wanted to know who Olivia was. Apparently, I called your name in my sleep. He moved out the next day."

"I had no idea," I say.

"Olivia, I never said it but I loved you. Leaving nearly killed me. Coming home was even harder. All of the fears I had became this big paralyzing monster. I even avoided courtrooms for over a year. I wanted to see you, I did see you a few times, but I didn't want you to see me when I was so broken."

"I could have helped you," it comes out like a whisper.

"You would've tried but I wasn't ready. Everything about my life from before had become a huge problem for me. Courtrooms left me sweating and nearly in tears, cops made me uncomfortable, sirens made me come undone. I wasn't the person you knew. I was just a big ball of fear. You didn't deserve for me to dump that in your lap."

"I was so angry with you Alex. I was also hurt."

"Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't do it to protect you from my fear or shield you. I did it out of shame and self preservation. I was ashamed that I wasn't the woman you cared about. I wanted to keep the last vestiges of my sanity."

"You said you saw me. When?"

"Several times at the court house. You were usually preoccupied. Once, I nearly ran into you."

"What changed to make you come back?"

"I could've told Jack no but I didn't want to miss you anymore. I felt like me. I could finally go outside at night. I didn't duck when I saw cars coming towards me on the street. The nightmares had almost stopped. Most of all, I just wanted to see you. To stand in front of you and not feel ashamed of myself for hiding. I kept thinking of it as the last part of my healing."

I want to be angry at her but I do understand. Honestly, I'm glad that I don't have to miss her anymore. We finish our dinner quietly. I stop drinking beer and switch to water. After another slice of pizza, we leave the restaurant. She drives me home but I don't invite her into my apartment. What she has told me tonight could do 2 different things, it could satisfy my curiosity or it could give me more questions.

Sorry I didn't update last night. I'm trying to make up for it with this long chapter. Hope ya'll like it.