Golden thorns chapter 53
His arm was asleep, but the rest of him was very much awake. His leg was healing slowly but it still ached. And the Itch. It was driving him mad but he didn't want to move in case he woke her. He did not know how long they had been sat there but it had been too long and he was getting agitated. He kept thinking that he could hear the echoes of movement in the darkness. He very slowly lifted his arm from around her shoulders, reaching for the torch. He didn't really believe that there was anything there, but he had to be sure. Flicking the beam on, he swept it left and right. Nothing.
Marie stirred under his arm and he turned down the light intensity, looking down at her and smiling, savouring this contact with another person. As she stilled her restlessness, He pondered on how far he had come. Less than six months ago he was a loner without anyone in his life and no reason to continue existing. Now he had friends, not many but they were close. He had found a purpose and he was doing, saying and thinking things that he never thought he would six months ago. Now here he was, down a cave on some mission with one of the best friends he'd ever had.
No. No she was more than that. Jet or no Jet, he was not going to deny his feelings for her anymore. He would not say anything to her. He did not want to risk their friendship, but he would no longer tell himself that what he felt wasn't real. He felt nervous at the thought, as if he had suddenly been removed from his body. And yet, more at peace than he had felt in as long as he could remember. Whether she wanted him or not, he would always be hers. He would be there for her whatever the cost to him. Whatever she needed, if it was within his power, he would do it. He reached down and stroked her hair. It was soft, a feint floral perfume drifted off of it, lifting his spirits. She was so perfect he couldn't help but grin broadly.
A rock fell somewhere in the darkness, echoing along the tunnel. Coran snapped his head up, instantly alert. Marie awoke, sitting up and looking at him, a flicker of fear crossing her face as she remembered where they were, gone almost as soon as he saw it.
"What was that?" she whispered.
"I don't know. But we should get moving. We've been here for a little while. Are you okay to go?"
"No. but we have little choice really."
"Okay, but if you need more time, just say." They set off down the rough tunnel, the oxide layer on the iron rails providing some degree of grip on the slick rocks. Occasionally, the silence was punctuated by the distant sounds of rocks clattering in the dark. The rough terrain was hard on Coran's injury and the scab over the wound kept cracking, sending a lance of agony up his leg and causing him to stumble, but each time he caught himself on the walls and trudged on.
"I don't mean to pry but… I wouldn't have pegged you as claustrophobic." He said, breaking the silence. She shuddered and swallowed, drawing in another rattling breath. "If you don't want to talk about it then I can respect that."
"No, no it's fine. It was so long ago I thought I had moved passed it."
"Well, phobias aren't called 'irrational fears' for nothing. They can be pretty hard to get over."
"Yes… When I was younger, my parents used to take me to the beach. There were caves that ran into the cliff face. I used to love exploring them, often running deeper than my parents thought wise. One time they lost sight of me and I got lost. I must have only been in there for an hour, but I panicked so much that I could not think with clarity."
"I think you can be forgiven for that."
"Thank you, but since then I have not been able to go near a cave without remembering the hopelessness that I felt back then."
"So how did you manage to get this far? You've done pretty well for yourself."
"Je ne sais pas- sorry, I mean, I do not know. It has almost felt like a dream, like I'm not actually here."
"Thank you, Marie" he said. "I know it must've been hard to get this far."