Chapter 9
Alex
I didn't hear from Olivia after I texted her the smiley face. I figure they must have gotten busy with one thing or another. I get from work and debate texting her. I decide to wait and I have a glass of wine. I turn on my stereo and just sit in the still apartment and listen to some jazz. I used to do this when I was younger. Just enjoy wine and music but I stopped doing it at some point right after college. I'm sitting with my eyes closed, slouched on the couch with my head resting against the back.
Some people have told me their favorite part of coming home is their kids being happy to see them, mine is the quiet. I used to hate it when I was a teenager but now, I crave the quiet. I sit like this through a couple glasses of wine. My phone ringing breaks my nice moment.
"Cabot," I say without looking to see who's interrupting.
"Hey, it's Olivia. Was just wondering if you wanted to come over and hang out?"
"Ummm...is there wine involved?"
"Or would you want to hang out at your place?"
I laugh, "I was joking. I've already had a couple glasses. I'll catch a cab over there. What kind of hanging out are we doing?"
"I was thinking about a movie or just sit together, we could eat dinner. I was just thinking of spending time with you."
I tell her I will be there soon and end the call.
Olivia
I worry too much, I've decided this in the past few moments. I want to spend time with Alex but I don't want to rush into anything. Then I realized, I spend a lot of time worrying about all of everything Alex related. Then, I began worrying about why I was worrying. I just really want to see her. I just got off the phone with her and she's coming over. I begin worrying about how clean my apartment is and how nice my things aren't. I'm obsessing over the most stupid things. My things are nice and my apartment doesn't look like anybody lives here. I clean, I just haven't had time to lately. It's not dirty, the only thing I see is a light layer of dust. I walk through with my duster as fast as I can. Why am I so nervous right now?
I buzz Alex up to my apartment and she smiles when I invite her inside. She walks over to a few pictures on the wall and looks at one in particular. It's of us. We had a softball game and Alex had shown up for moral support. I'm a decent player, I guess. Elliot volunteered me but I hadn't wanted to play. Alex had shown up wearing a light blue cap and matching tee. It was one of the few times I could remember her in jeans. I didn't have a great game or anything. I maybe had two singles and one walk. In the picture, I had just scored after the walk. Somebody got a great hit after my walk. Alex threw her arms around me like I did something exciting and Munch took the picture.
"I never knew you had this."
"I think Munch was planning on putting together a scrapbook or something. Maybe he had a new camera, I'm not sure. Anyway, after you were gone, he gave it to me so I could remember how much fun we had that day. So, I hung it on my wall."
"Maybe it was a new camera because he drove me crazy that day. I kind of believed he was obsessed with me for a moment."
"It was the jeans, Alex. He talked about them for a solid week after the game," I say this while stifling a laugh.
She looks at the other pictures. She seems to stop at each one for a moment. She sees on of Casey, Elliot and I. In this picture, I'm in the middle. Elliot has an arm thrown around my shoulder and Casey has hers around my waist. This sad look crosses her face for a moment. "Did you ever date Casey?"
"Casey is straight, Alex. I think she had a little crush on Elliot at one point. I'm pretty sure she was just happy that we became friends. We had a rough start."
"Why?" I wonder if Alex realizes what I've been thinking about today, we don't know each other anymore. I don't think this in a bad way, just that so much time has passed.
"Well, she wasn't you. To be honest, I hated her at first. I picked fights with her or ignored her for the first few months. Once she called me Liv, I told her that name was reserved for friends. I was awful."
"Sounds like it. I only met her during Connors' trial and I thought she was nice enough."
"She was. I was just being stubborn and I missed you."
Alex smiles at me and says, "you're probably lucky she forgave you."
"I don't think she ever even held it against me. I just realized that I had been consistently tolerable toward her for an extended period, then I was a little more tolerable. I did it in small increments so she wouldn't realize that I'm such a nice person," I say with a laugh.
"Oh, she told me all about it. She said Elliot was decent toward her but for a good while, she could make no headway with you. She said you were consistently hateful and mean. She didn't hold it against you. She said I left behind some very big shoes to fill."
We talk like this for hours. About the she was gone. What each of did to pass our free time. Alex tells me about being Emily and what Wisconsin was like. She tells me about how bored she was after living in cities her whole life. I tell her about Greylek and her lack of ability to connect with our victims. She's laughing when I tell her about Casey dying her hair blond and Munch's referring to her as Single White Cabot.
She keeps laughing when I tell her Munch was convinced Novak was slowly becoming our departed ADA Cabot through hormone injections and secretive CIA type experiments that involved adding Cabot's DNA to Novak. I'm telling her so much about the past few years. It's almost like reliving them. I tell her about some of the cases we investigated and about how some were rewarding while some were more frustrating.
As the evening turns late, Alex stifles a yawn. I smile at her, realizing that we've been talking for 3 hours. I've missed this. We used to do talk like this a lot, especially on random Saturdays. I stand up and she gives me this questioning look. I reach my hand toward her and she lets me pull her to a standing position.
"Alex, it's really late. You can stay here with me, in my uncomfortable bed. Or you could go home but I can see you're sleepy."
"Liv, what would you like me to do?"
"Stay, please. Just sleep here."
I lead her into my bedroom and give her a change of clothes. She ducks into the bathroom to change while I change next to my bed. She slides under the blankets and meets me in the middle of the bed. We lie facing one another for a little while but eventually she rolls facing away from me. I scoot a little closer to her and wrap one arm around her waist.
Alex
I find myself laughing so much at Olivia's stories. I particularly fascinated by her account of Casey Novak's hair and the Munch Theory. I didn't even realize they spoke of me after I was gone. I, also, though Liv being mean to Casey was funny. Not funny because I disliked Casey, but because she tries so hard to seem so agreeable.
When Olivia stood earlier, I didn't know what she wanted at first. I was getting so sleepy but I would've been happy to just sit like that until I fell asleep. I've missed so much in the past few years. Now, I'm lying in bed with Olivia and she scoots closer to hold me as I fall asleep. Withing a minute or two, her body completely relaxes and her breathing has evened out. I just stay where I am, so happy to be this close to her.
I wake up early but I'm alone. The room is lit but it's not bright yet. The alarm clock next to the bed says 6am. I stretch out for a moment before sitting. I'm not ready to leave her bed but I'm curious to see where she is. I find her sitting in an armchair looking out of the window. She turns to me and I see her smile. I move to see out the window and it's raining. Not just an easy mist or a fine rain, it's storming.
"I can never sleep when it rains very hard," she explains. "I like to get up and watch it. It's beautiful and chaotic at the same time."
I just nod. She pulls me into her lap and I let her. I sit with her in the armchair for what feels like an eternity. We spend our morning watching lightning strike through the air and rain pelt the streets below us.
I hate to say it but I think I'm running out of steam with this story.