This isn't the version I was beginning to post. it's similar, but not quite the same dealie-o. THAT version is at the bottom, and is significantly shorter in summary length.

It was set approximately 7-9 years after the completion of Calamity. The timeskip meant many things changed; mainly that Tsukasa consumed a lot more people and, after a few years, started going infinitely more crazy, due to the minds that still existed after she consumed them. Her kill count was already insane by the end of Calamity, but in my notes, I've gauged it around 15,000,0000 people. Gotta beat Stalin, you know? She could block out most of them, but 90% of 15 million is still 1.5 million people bouncing around in her head, giving her differing ideas of how everything and anything should be done. Originally, Tsukasa's plan was the cliche "kill everyone because I can and fuck everyone else". But with so many conflicting ideas and experiences clogging up her plans for mass murder, it...gets a little weird.

Kagami kinda killed everyone of importance in the Japanese military in Calamity, so Tsukasa had no problem taking control of the entire nation in an obvious coup that no-one was able to prevent...pretty difficult to say no to someone who survives a nuclear device to the face with nary a scratch on her. She enacted a bunch of weird rules that allowed her to continue what she was doing: killing and destroying. The most important of which is this:

Only Tsukasa is allowed to kill things. Anyone else who kills things is killed. By her, of course.

This makes the military of the Asian Confederacy (Japan after Tsukasa starts conquering more territory) an interesting affair. Tsukasa is able to give people she's killed/consumed beforehand physical forms again, but they're still intrinsically linked to the hivemind they've become a part of. These "Consumed" are also able to kill, because they're still technically part of Tsukasa.

After a few years of consolidating most of Eastern Hemisphere under her banner, which is incredibly worrying to everyone in general, she realizes she's forgotten something rather crucial: She never cleaned up after herself.

I originally couldn't decide the fates of Konata or Kagami, and I really wanted to either kill them both off and just let Tsukasa "win", or kill off neither of them and have them continue a seemingly impossible fight against the Asian Confederacy. Of course, both of these leave out Miyuki completely, because her role is...different.

As it were, Konata is left to die by Kagami, and Kagami escapes the country hours afterwards with the help of her friends in the military. Tsukasa tortures Konata a whole bunch, attempts to draw Kagami back with public postings of torture videos and such, but ultimately dumps Konata in the ocean after cutting most of her major tendons after growing bored of her. She survives only because a certain someone saw her wash up on the shore... Our friendly neighborhood "written out of the story because I didn't think she was interesting enough to keep around" Hiyori Tamura. Who was taking a walk with her lovely wife Patty.

Of course, finding your long-lost friend whom you believed to be dead bleeding out on the shore while having a nice stroll is never a good thing. They know full well the consequences of harboring an "undesirable", but nurse her back to health anyways, taking a few months off from their production company (remember when Hiyori was a Doujin artist in Calamity? she was successful. Yet another way you can tell this is a work of fiction...heh.) to keep their house locked up tight and make sure no-one sees Konata.

Konata gets in contact with the people who were part of their social movement from Calamity, it's not really a rebel group when you're 30% of a city's population...but then again, most of those people are dead or living under Tsukasa's influence as Consumed. Anyways, Konata manages to go deep and hide in the place I described in the thing I posted most recently. She tries to find a way to defeat Tsukasa, but for the majority of Tyrants, it's a solid failure. She gets back in touch with Kuroi-sensei, who's moved to the United Kingdom to live with family, and teaches Japanese at a charter school. Kuroi can't help her through normal means, but sends her all the information she still has on those still loyal to the...cause.

Meanwhile, Kagami fucked off to the States, leaving everything and everyone behind as a means to make a clean escape and survive. She was living in the Pacific Northwest as an engineer specializing in robotics. That is, until the AC attacks the West Coast of the United States, and Kagami finds out she's not safe...again. She's managed to keep the gear she escaped Japan in, mainly her Crysis-inspired power armor and energy weapons that she had at the end of Calamity, and starts her own little war on the Consumed. However, this doesn't even make it as far as the headlines in the States, never mind anywhere else. The United States government is trying to negotiate with the AC diplomats while Tsukasa, who preferred to be known The Judge when being seen as a military force, conquered all that she pleased. Even when her plan to kill everyone is ruined by her running an entire small country of voices in her head, she still likes the murdering and whatnot.

Eventually, after causing most of California and with it, the AC forward operating base, to be destroyed by drilling underground and causing the so-called "super earthquake" that's supposed to have happened by now, Tsukasa finds out her dear old sister is the one who's being a thorn in her side.

At this point, instead of killing her like she would be more than capable of doing, she proposes that Kagami try to kill her again, just like old times...Tsukasa calls up Konata and informs them both at the same time. She always knew that Konata survived, she just had dreams of grandeur that were now being set into motion.

Thirty days to round up a force to oppose her, and they'd meet in the middle of nowhere to duke it out. The last thing she tells them, is that it is fully possible for them to kill her, and that Miyuki knows how to do it.

Of course, Miyuki is in Japan somewhere, and they don't know where.

To up the ante, Tsukasa broadcasts the challenge to oppose her on AC television, which effectively reaches most of the planet by this point.

Kagami is given Konata's number, at which point they are astonished to find out the other is alive, but otherwise get right down to business. Kagami is given safe passage back to the Japanese mainland, but her helicopter is shot down at on her way to meet Konata. A lot of people who live in Japan/AC now don't want Tsukasa to go down, as it would destroy their new, peaceful way of life. Kagami made the smart choice of keeping her armor and weapons, and manages to steal someone's car and make it to their meeting point where they hoped to recruit people, and more importantly, find any leads on where their long-lost friend could be.

There's few takers on people from Japan who want to join them, but they get dozens of calls from people in other countries who want to see Tsukasa be taken down, chiefly from the States and European countries that have not yet been smacked by her conquering force.

After exhausting most of their leads, and having a protestor smash Konata's kneecap with a sledgehammer, they think to call Hiyori again. Hiyori knows not only where Miyuki is, but also her occupation. She's a caretaker who helps patients with terminal illnesses, and works in a closed-gate Kyoto residential area.

They manage to get there after three days, but they find the whole neighborhood has been burned to the ground. On a park bench in the middle of the cul-de-sac, they see someone they hadn't in a very, very long time: Misao. Of course, she had no idea who they were, but after seeing Konata in a wheelchair, she asked them to follow her to a bomb shelter that was underneath a building that had stopped burning.

Inside the shelter, they meet Miyuki, who hadn't been expecting visitors, and initially didn't know who they were. Kagami hadn't taken off her helmet, and had been holding Misao's hand on the way in.

She figured it out once she saw Konata in a wheelchair, and welcomed them to her current hideaway. She had been wondering why everyone in the neighborhood had started firebombing her house (Tsukasa had said the part about her knowing how to kill her on live tv, after all), but instead of asking them, she replied in kind. She was now the only one left alive in the area, and she revealed she'd been taking care of Misao for years now, after finding her roaming the streets after the conclusion of the battle in Tokyo from the end of Calamity.

When pestered about her knowledge that would allow them to kill Tsukasa once and for all, she shook her head, explaining that it would be far too costly to actually pull off, and that no matter how many people she's killed, the way to kill her would kill double that amount.

As it turns out, there was another who had become 'immortal' in the same way that Tsukasa had. He went by the name of Adolf Hitler, of course. He faked his death at the end of the second World War and went to live in Brazil with Dr. Mengele. Of course, American operatives discovered this, and in 1969, captured him and brought him to the Moon, and kind of just left him there. The man on the moon existed, and that man was Hitler. EDIT: I'm writing everything after this... after about two months. Thus, it probably won't match up. It never really matched up much in the first place.

So they somehow make it to Dubai, and convince the corrupt as all hell politicians to bring them to the Moon and retrieve Hitler.

Then Hitler and Tsukasa have a ludicrous battle to the death on the Moon. Because why the fuck not. After a lot of bad jokes and SSJ bullshit, they accidentally launch the both of them towards the sun. Neither of them die, but everyone on Earth assumes they're dead because "they were catapulted into the Sun!111!"

All is well. Ish.

Hitler and Tsukasa have nasty immortal space-babies, and go on to subjugate the universe.

But hey, Earth was saved!

*tiny amounts of fanfare*

NOW FOR THE OTHER ONE: Snoop Dogg Talk Show Edition.

No, really. Tsukasa cons old man Snoop into coming to Japan, and he's forced to host a talk show with all the lovely lady cast members. Some of which are dead. Zombie Ayano was to be the first guest, but she was too horrifying to show to the general public.

Anyways, Tsukasa tricks an intern in a government building to smoke a fat blunt with her, and then reveals herself, getting a laugh out of making an 'upstanding citizen' break the law that's otherwise punishable by death.

She kills the intern, of course, but then gets to thinking about how awesome it was to smoke. She then reverses her standing on wanky dank, and keeps changing her appearance and going on Snoop's show every day and getting high as a kite.

She becomes a total hippie, all murderous intent gone, and legalizes the dank worldwide.

A/N: the absurdity of it all was too good, but i couldn't bring myself to finish it. or anything, really.

I was going to do a 2001: A Space Odyssey parody with Kill La Kill characters, but the ability to write has just gone *poof*. As evidenced by everything. *shrug* Even bothering to finish this was difficult. I apologize again to everyone I disappointed.

No, I'm not an avid tree.