Chapter 18

Olivia POV

Alex was a sweetheart to take care of me last night. She even held me when I was upset. I couldn't believe I was out in the open in that hallway. I couldn't believe I let that happen. Oh well. Alex even put me to bed after dinner. She thought about the dizziness and helped me stand up a few times. I hated needing help but I couldn't turn it down, either. Earlier, she helped me get my things together for a shower. I guess I had left a few things at her place before we split up because clothes appeared that I hadn't seen in years.

I showered and washed my hair. I didn't want to go anywhere but I had to go into work and speak with IAB. Cragen called me yesterday and scheduled this interview. He did say everything was looking good. I dressed in the clothes Alex had found and she drove me to my interview. It was so bright outside. Normally, I don't care for sunglasses but today I wasn't enjoying the sun. Alex walked me in and then left after explaining she had an errand to run. I was to call her as soon as the interview ended.

The Rat Squad Kind, Tucker was there to interview me. I've disliked him for years. I didn't want to be questioned but it was a necessary evil. We went into an interrogation room. He set up a voice recorder and a camera. I felt more resentful.

"Detective Benson, do you understand why you are here today?"

"I'm here today to explain what happened two days ago in Brian Mitchell's apartment."

"And who exactly is Brian Mitchell?"

I sighed and said, "He was an individual we wanted to speak with about a vandalism at ADA Cabot's apartment earlier that morning." My head started to pound.

"And why had you fixated on Brian Mitchell as the vandal?"

"We had security footage from both ADA Cabot's apartment complex and the DA's office with an individual matching Mitchell's description."

"How did Mitchell even get identified as a possible suspect?"

I hated Tucker. "ADA Cabot saw part of the footage from her building. We printed out a frozen frame from that footage. It wasn't very clear but she said she did remember somebody who wore his hat backwards."

"Detective," he said with some condescension, "plenty of young men wear their hats backwards. How did Mitchell get drug into this?"

"She remembered speaking with a man who matched the photograph. She couldn't remember specifics but she remembered him making some off color remarks toward her. Later, I pulled the security footage for the areas around her office the night before. She called me that night and asked me to come to her office. When I arrived, she explained she believed somebody was in the building with her."

"Don't people work late in her office?"

"I searched but didn't find one person. When I pulled the footage, I was able to see a man walking around outside of her office. I rode the elevator up to her floor that night, I guess he realized it was stopping there and ducked into the mens' room. When I was in her office, he went down the stairs. The security guard I spoke with was able to show me this footage and he printed out one still of this individual looking up at a camera."

"When exactly did you decide it was Brian Mitchell?" I really hated him.

"Only when he shot me, not a moment before."

"Hold your sarcasm. When did you put a name with the face?"

"The security guard printed some color copies of the perp's face. I passed a few out and I showed one to ADA Novak, she recognized him as a witness prep she asked ADA Cabot to work with."

"And she just pulled his name off the top of her head?"

"No, she returned to her office to find a witness list. He was listed even though he wasn't used. She found his name and then brought me a piece of paper with his name and address. I called Detective Amaro and he picked me up. We went to Mitchell's home. I don't remember the exact address. We knocked, he answered. Amaro began to identify himself and Mitchell ran into the apartment."

"So you and Detective Amaro followed?"

"Yes, we followed. He went into a room at the end of a hallway and closed the door. I don't remember any other doors in the hallway. I was going down the hall first."

"And where was Detective Amaro?"

"I was facing the doorway so I can't be sure. I was getting close to the door when it opened. Before I could fire, I was thrown backwards. I felt pain in my right arm and at the back of my head. Amaro fired at the doorway but I guess he missed. I held my gun in my left hand and when I saw Mitchell, I fired a few shots."

"A few, Detective?"

"I'm not real sure, 3 I think. Mitchell fell. Amaro kicked his pistol away and called for a bus. He checked Mitchell for a pulse. When he came over to me, he said Mitchell didn't make it. He wrapped my arm in a towel he found. He put another under my head."

"Were there any other occupants in the apartment?"

"Not to my knowledge."

Tucker glared at me and said, "Were you out to get justice for your girlfriend?"

I was angry but I wasn't taking his bait, "I don't have a girlfriend."

"Are you telling me ADA Cabot isn't your lover?"

"ADA Cabot is not my lover nor is she my girlfriend."

"Are you sure about that, Detective."

"Yes, I'm fairly sure."

"Where did you sleep last night?"

"Umm...at ADA Cabot's apartment?"

"With ADA Cabot?"

"No, I slept alone. She offered to let me stay with her because I have a concussion. My doctor said I needed to answer basic questions every few hours."

"You didn't ask Rollins or Munch?"

"No, I didn't ask anybody to stay with me or to let me stay at their place. She offered and I was in no position to refuse."

"I'm sure you didn't want to refuse that offer. Have you spoken with your partner since this incident ocurred?"

I ignored his jibe. "He stopped by the hospital. We did speak but not about the shooting. He was with our captain and Detective Tutuola."

"Detective, did you speak with any of your colleagues or superiors about this shooting?"

"No, I this is the first time I've seen them or spoken to them since they visited in the hospital," I told him.

"That's all I need for now, Detective."

I left the room and went to my desk. My head was throbbing and I wished I could just make Alex appear. I thought about taking a cab home but Alex wanted to help. I couldn't even lie and say I didn't need her help. I managed to text her. She said she was already on her way.

Rollins sat in the chair next to my desk. "Olivia, how long are you out for?"

"Don't know for sure. On Monday, I start light duty. I'm thinking about taking some vacation until I'm cleared by the doctor and IAB. I just haven't decided yet."

She smiled at me and said, "Heading south?"

I laughed and said, "Not sure. May just stick around here since I have to do some physical therapy." Rollins was nice but I hadn't decided yet if I liked having her in the squadroom. I knew she carried some baggage with her, I just didn't know what kind.

"Let me know if you need anything, ok?" She said politely.

"Will do," I said as I saw Alex making her way to my desk. She greeted Rollins and I stood slowly. I couldn't wait to be back in bed. Alex walked me out to her car and waited for me to get in the car. She closed the door for me. I just can't reach out for the door right now. A minute later, she's pulled into traffic. I watched as she drove me to her place. I didn't enjoy being injured but some small part of me enjoyed being taken care of by such a beautiful woman.

When we arrived at her building, she remembered to open the door for me. She stayed close as we walked to the elevator. She was so protective. I don't think I had ever seen that side of her. Once inside her apartment, I found myself walking straight toward the bedroom. I felt rude because I didn't say much on the ride to her place but my head hurt so bad. I sat on the edge of the bed to change into my shorts. I had my jeans halfway off when I saw the door open. Alex looked shocked to see me undressed.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I just need to get some clothes when you're finished," she apologized.

"Alex, you've seen me undressed before. Besides, this is your bedroom. Would you prefer I take the guest room?" I knew it was a little late to make that suggestion but it was her place.

"Olivia, I don't care if you sleep in my bed or the guest room. I only care that you're comfortable and resting. Please feel free to rest wherever you feel comfortable." She told me this as she crossed the bedroom. She threw open the doors of her walk in closet. I saw her walk inside and she came out with a box. I was curious but too tired to pay it much attention.

Alex POV

I took Olivia to her interview with IAB. While she was busy, I picked up the photos I'd ordered a few days before. I picked her up and drove her home. She was so tired. I can't remember the last time I saw her look so weak. When we made it to my apartment, she went straight into the bedroom while I locked the door. I walked in on her changing. I didn't expect her to be undressed so I was fairly embarrassed.

I did get my photo albums from my closet while she changed. I went to the guest bedroom and began putting the photos into the album. I worked on both of them for a few hours. I was fairly certain Olivia would sleep for most of the afternoon. She did. After I put the albums together, I wrapped hers. Normally, I would never go through the effort but I felt like I owed her that much.

Olivia came into the living room at 5:30. I had already ordered dinner for us. It was due to arrive soon. She looked groggy and her hair was flat on one side. I could only smile because I knew from experience she was extremely irritable when she first woke. I started a pot of coffee. She sat on the couch without saying a word.

She smiled at me when I handed her the coffee cup. She sipped it cautiously. My breath caught in my throat as I watched Olivia with her coffee. Tears streamed down my face as I watched the love of my life. I couldn't breathe or speak. I left the room and went into my bedroom. I sat on the bed thinking of how she nearly died so recently. I held the pillow she used to my chest and cried as silently as I could.

I didn't hear her come in the room with me. I didn't notice her as I held onto that pillow. I felt the bed shift and an arm around my shoulders. She pulled me to her with her good arm. I laid my head against her shoulder.

"What is it, Alex?"

"I don't know. I was just watching you with your coffee. I've watched sip the first drink so many times. I just..." I sniffed, "I just realized how close I came to never getting to see you do the same little things I've watched you do for years."

"I'm here right now. I'm ok. Don't worry about what almost happened."

My tears had stopped, "I'm sorry, Liv. It's silly. I was just so overwhelmed by this fear of you getting hurt worse. I felt relieved, too. I guess I just hadn't processed everything and it hit me."

"Thank you, Alex."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For caring. For helping me. For sitting in the hospital when I was feeling miserable. For ordering the chinese food that's getting cold as we speak."

I wiped at my eyes and stood. "I forgot I ordered dinner."

We left the bedroom and Olivia helped me set the table. We ate quietly and she helped me clear the table after we were finished. We went into the living room and Liv reached for the television remote. She found a channel and I sat at the opposite end of the couch. It was oddly domestic.

We watched television that night. As much as I wanted to beg and apologize and convince her of my love, I sat at the opposite end of the couch laughing at some insane show. I enjoyed it. Two days ago, she was shot. Two days ago, she could have died. Today, we watched some comedy and laughed like kids. During a commercial break, I excused myself to refill my wine glass. I picked up my gift on the way back and sat it between us on the couch.

She finally noticed the package next to her and looked at me with questioning eyes. I only nodded and smiled. She picked it up after she turned off the television. I was nervous as she opened it. Once the paper was off, she opened the photo album. As she looked at the first page, she smiled.

"I remember this day. You were so happy to have your new digital camera. This had to have been 10 years ago."

"Almost. I think we had all been working together for a few months," I told her.

"Remember when Munch demanded to have his picture taken with you? He even asked for a copy so he could put it on his desk."

She commented on nearly every picture. She smiled so much. She laughed about how her hair changed over the years. She seemed to remember so much about many of those pictures. I knew she liked it but more than that, I enjoyed her reaction to it. She was almost childlike. I was happy I did this for her when she found a few pictures of her and Elliot. I knew that wound was still raw but she deserved to have those pictures as much as the others.

"He looked so young. I miss him so much," she told me sadly.

"I'm sure he hates himself for what he's done to you. He probably just doesn't have a way to undo it. It's hard to just reappear," I said softly. She smiled at me and nodded.

After we looked through the album, she yawned and stood. I just thought she was about to go to bed. She reached down with her good arm and grabbed my hand. She pulled me into a standing position. She stepped closer to me. She leaned in, kissed my cheek and I put my arms around her. We stood in my living room holding one another for a few minutes. She let go of my shoulders and slid her arm down my arm to catch my hand in hers. She started walking while pulling me along with her.

Once we were in the bedroom, she said, "Alex, you told me to make myself comfortable while I'm in your home. I think I would be more comfortable if you would sleep in your own bed. I think I would also be more comfortable if I slept in your bed with you."

I changed into my pajamas and slid beneath the sheets. Olivia slid in across from me. We laid facing one another. She reached out for my hand with hers. A million thoughts raced through my mind but I couldn't voice one of them. I could barely make out Olivia in the dark. I could just see enough to know she was watching me.

"I didn't say thank you earlier. Thank you, Alex," she whispered.

"You're very welcome. I'm just glad you liked it."

"I love it. I knew you had taken pictures over the years but I never thought about asking to see them. I'm so glad you shared them with me."

"I should have shown them to you years ago. It just never occurred to me."

"I'm sorry, Alex. I owe you this apology and plenty of others," she said quietly.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I was wrong when I ended our relationship. I was still so hurt and I screwed up. I was still holding things against you. I should have let those go but I didn't. I'm sorry."

"I deserved it," I admitted. "I wouldn't even consider admitting my feelings for you to my friends for such a long period. When I finally tried, I expected you to just go along with me. I didn't think to consider your feelings. Maybe, I should have spoken with you more instead of just assuming I knew what you wanted."

"I felt like we were almost starting over at Christmas but then you wanted me to live with you in your home. It seemed sudden except it wasn't. It was just sudden for me to think of changing my life. I had almost given up on us living with one another. I had been asking you to change your life, I wasn't used to having the shoe on the other foot."

"I understand, Liv. I just want to be with you. I don't care where I live or where you live. I would prefer to live together. If I get to come home to you, home could be anywhere you wanted it to be. I love you."

"I love you, Alex. I don't care where we are either, as long as I'm with you at the end of everyday. I'm not sure you could live just anywhere but I know I could."

I propped myself up on the bed and studied her for a moment. I couldn't help but smile as I leaned down to kiss her. Her lips felt like home, soft and warm. We kissed for so long that night. We pulled apart for air and Olivia said, "I just don't care where it is, as long as I can come home to you."

The End

I figured I would just wrap it up. I felt like it was getting a little too long winded. Hope everybody enjoyed it. Thanks for all of the follows and reviews, those have made this story worth writing. Thank you for reading it.