I was hoping to get this chapter out much sooner, but sometimes things don't go as planned. I hope it was worth the wait.

Rochester, Minnesota
October 1927

Just because tears couldn't fall didn't mean I couldn't cry. I still felt every emotion of sadness and despair. I was still crumbled on the bottom steps sobbing. The pain was so deep. The unanswered thoughts rushed through my head, but no one else was listening.

Could I have done things differently? Was it my fault? How long has this been building? Will he listen to reason? Will he listen at all?

Will I ever see him again?

I knew it would be a miracle if Carlisle walked back in the door with him. He was so resolved when he strode out. I could weep for days and it wouldn't change the fact that Edward was gone.

I tried searching my mind for the answers to my questions and knew this had been building for a long time. It just needed a match to go up in flames. I was that match.

Edward had made a multitude of "mistakes" over the last two years. Some seemed to affect him more deeply than others. His emotions were often so volatile that I wondered what had happened to the boy that walked me down the aisle on our wedding day. He had all but disappeared.

One killing he would mourn and then he would recover with time. The next he would justify and we would argue over the value of life. While at first I felt sorry for him and wanted to help him, it wasn't long before I got tired of having the same arguments. And I certainly did not like having to defend the actions or beliefs of my husband.

He never even gave us a chance to see what way of life we preferred! He brainwashed us into his way!

Edward! He would never stop you from doing what you want. He enlightened you from the beginning that there was another way to survive. You chose to live this life. You chose to share his compassion.

Maybe he has it wrong! What if we are the next evolutionary step and he's holding us back from what we are supposed to be consuming?

I had refused to believe it. I didn't want to be one of those creatures who feasted on human blood, who ended lives without a single thought to what those people would leave behind. I didn't want others to suffer to satisfy my desire.

I understood the moment of gratification, though. As much as it horrified me to remember the boy I killed, I also remembered how euphoric I felt when I drank from him. No other meal had ever come close to being as satisfying as the taste of that human's blood. But for all the joy and satisfaction I felt in that moment, the realization of what I had done was not enough to make me want to do it again. I couldn't make another mother wonder until her death about what ever happened to her child.

Do you know how many humans have lived and died in the time he's walked this earth? What vampires touch is insignificant in scale.

Every life is significant, Edward. Every person touches someone.

Carlisle was less hotheaded with him than I was and certainly more rational. He explained his reasons repeatedly to Edward. He never tried to persuade him. He just explained why he made the choices he did. That only seemed to incite Edward. He would lose his temper and yell at him. Carlisle would stay so calm trying to reason with him. It usually ended with Edward storming out of the house and Carlisle looking like a broken man that I would then have to put back together. Edward wouldn't come back until Carlisle had left for work, and then it was time for us to have words. It was a vicious cycle for a while.

His eyes were golden when we left the house tonight. He hadn't killed a human since July, and while he was still sullen at times, he seemingly had stifled the urge to fight. We were all in good spirits as we went to the opening of the new Chateau Dodge Theatre. It had been funded by Dr. Mayo and certain staff members had been invited to the opening event. My husband and his family were on the list.

We enjoyed the cinema. While in the dark theater with our eyes on the screen we were as normal as everyone else. It was a reliable activity. The movies changed, but the behavior of the patrons didn't.

And we loved the new stories, too. Every film was a new adventure. We could be taken away to lands and events where the sun shined. There was romance, humor, drama, and even some horror at times. Tonight's feature was a romantic comedy with William Haines. I was sure I enjoyed it more than Carlisle and Edward did, but a good evening was had by all.

We played our roles perfectly. I was by my husband's side as he greeted colleagues and their wives in the lobby and out on the street. I listened as they made small chat, and squeezed his hand gently when he received a compliment. He was highly regarded by his peers, and I was incredibly proud to be by his side.

Edward stayed close as Carlisle made introductions – always smiling and nodding politely as he was introduced as my brother. At least one older colleague suggested in hush tones to Carlisle that he wouldn't mind if Edward called on his daughter. My husband, always gracious, told him thank you but that Edward was in contact with a girl "back home." When the doctor pressed on as to where "home" was Carlisle suddenly spotted another doctor that he needed to say hello to. It was the game we played, and always would.

It was late when the last "good night" had been bid, and we began strolling down First Street. We were but three blocks away from the lights of the new marquee, when disaster nearly struck.

We were discussing the movie, and I was laughing and, as in such cases, things happened so fast.

A young couple had been coming toward us, obviously in a hurry as they went to scurry past us. Edward was just behind me, and Carlisle was on my arm on the street side of the sidewalk. Carlisle raised his other hand to gesture with a tip of his hat as they passed by his right side. What would have happened if they hadn't gone toward their left?

I had my mouth open wide with laughter as the scent filled my nose and mouth, pouring down my throat and setting it aflame. Only that scent could put the fire out. I had to have her now or the fire would consume me.

As I went to turn and attack what I had to have, I was lifted off my feet and smashed against the wall in the narrow nearby alley. I thrashed at Edward as he pinned my arms against my side, pressing me into the brick wall as I desperately tried to escape so I could smother the burning. He hissed for Carlisle to help him. Carlisle tried to grab my flailing head, to hold me still and cut off the scent, but I was having none of it. I didn't see anything but the beings getting in between me and what I desired. I snapped my teeth at him and at Edward. I would have done anything to sink my teeth into that woman's flesh including battle the creatures that were trying to stop me.

I continued to fight against my bindings in the form of Edward's grip. He held me so tight that, unknowingly to either of us, he gave me leverage. When in a spasm my legs kicked, my knee rose, and, with the force of a desperate and deadly vampire, I kneed Edward in the groin. His grip loosened just slightly, but it was enough to push off the wall and slip from his hands. I barely made it three steps before Carlisle tackled me to the ground.

I screeched before his hands wrapped around my nose, mouth and jaw slamming it shut. My chest was against the ground as he placed his full weight on top of me. A moment later Edward was holding him down on top of me when I tried to push up. I tried ripping at Carlisle's hands, but he wasn't letting go.

"Esme," he said soothingly, close to my ear as I continue to fight against him. "Esme," he repeated. "Come back to us. You don't need it. Breathe in my scent. You don't want that. You don't want to hurt anyone."

But I did. I couldn't escape the memory of it. Carlisle's scent was nothing in comparison. Nothing had ever smelled so sweet. Nothing.

I could hear Carlisle's voice, but in that moment I didn't care what he had to say. My craving was all encompassing. I felt like I was going to go mad if I didn't have it.

"She's going to fight us and try to bolt if we let her up. She's out of her mind. She doesn't care who we are at all," Edward practically growled.

"We can't stay here. I'm surprised someone hasn't heard the commotion or spotted us already."

"There aren't too many people around still. It's late. Carlisle, I've never seen her quite like this; not even with the first human she smelled."

"Go get the car," Carlisle commanded.

"You can't hold her down yourself."

"I will. I won't let her go. Run."

As soon as Edward was up, I was lashing against Carlisle. He kept speaking in my ear. Something in my mind was trying desperately to connect with his words, but the monster inside was snarling at that something.

When Edward pulled up along the street, it took both of them careful movements to secure me and get me into the backseat with Carlisle without being seen as it would have looked like an abduction. I fought a bit longer, causing some interior damage to the vehicle and Carlisle. Away from the scene I began to calm but was still in a foul mood and certainly on edge.

When we arrived home I kicked the car door open with such force that it broke. Carlisle wouldn't let go of me. Part of me said this was a ridiculous gesture, but another part knew it was for my own good.

He was joined by Edward on my other side, and they practically carried me into the house to the living room before stopping.

"Esme, do you promise not to run if we let go?" Carlisle sternly asked.

"I'm not going anywhere," I grumbled. I was bitter, but I wouldn't run.

Carlisle and Edward had a silent conversation with their eyes over my head before letting me go. I sat with a huff on the couch. Edward took the chair.

Carlisle sat down next to me. I moved over against the arm rest and crossed my arms. He tried to put a comforting hand on me, but I pulled away.

"Esme," Carlisle said soothingly. "I'll take your anger over the devastation you would be feeling right now if you had killed that young woman."

"I still want her," I griped.

"What?" He sounded surprised.

"I have to repeat myself. I STILL WANT HER!" I said angrily.

"Her mind is in a different space, Carlisle. It's like nothing either of us has ever experienced before. The desire is so deep." Edward sounded confused and thoughtful at the same time. It was like he was trying to find some deeper meaning in my behavior. I just knew that my hunger was not sated and I was not happy about it.

Carlisle didn't say a word. I glanced over at him and he looked lost in thought.

Suddenly Edward was on his feet. I looked up at him and was met with rage, but it wasn't directed at me. It was directed at my husband.

"You never thought to tell us that? You didn't deem that important?" Edward hissed through gritted teeth.

"It's not that it isn't important, I just never thought of it being an issue," Carlisle rationalized in response to some thought that hadn't been verbalized.

"Why? Because you curb our desire so greatly that this would never become an issue?" Edward's temper was flaring and I had no idea what was going on.

"What are you talking about?" I screamed in frustration.

"Your husband never thought it was important enough to tell us that some humans' blood can affect us and be more desirous to vampires than others." Edward's voice was spiteful. "It's usually on an individual basis where one human's blood calls to a particular vampire more potently than any other human's. He calls it a singer because the blood sings to you. If another human was openly bleeding and this perfectly intact person walked by you, it would overpower the spilled blood."

"And that's what happened to me tonight?" I was sobered by this new development.

"That's exactly what happened to you, but luckily you happen to know a mind reader who saw what you were about to do and stop you before you killed the woman and probably the man, too. Even if you hadn't killed him we would have had to destroy him."

"We stopped her, Edward," Carlisle said, still remaining steady.

"What if it had been me? Huh? What then, Carlisle? I would have taken off and killed that woman in the middle of the sidewalk on First Street. I wouldn't have known what was going on just as Esme didn't, but I knew to stop her. You wouldn't have known until it was too late."

"We handle things as they happen, Edward. We can't plan for these things. Even if you had known about the possibility of singers, the knowledge wouldn't have stopped you." I could hear a slight waiver in Carlisle's voice and touched his arm.

"You don't know that. What else are you not telling us?" Edward barked. I had never seen him so furious.

"Anything that you need to know I tell you. I always have."

"You're lying. This was important and it was never even a thought."

"I'm sorry, Edward. Yes, I figured since your diet was animal blood that this wouldn't be an issue for you. I was wrong."

Edward, he just admitted he was wrong. Please, calm down. But he refused to listen to me and pressed on.

"Because it's never happened to you. Because you are so innocent. You have never experienced human blood and you have never known what it's like to crave it. You don't know what we are going through and you don't know everything."

"I have never claimed to have all the answers, Edward," Carlisle said quietly.

"You don't have any and I'm done." I didn't like the finality of that statement.

"Edward! What do you mean you're done?" I yelled as he stormed out of the room.

"He can't give us answers, Esme." Edward was adamant. "He has his way and that's it. He doesn't see the other. He doesn't understand what's normal for our kind. He doesn't know our struggle. He can't comprehend it because of his warped ideas."

"They are not warped. Sparing human life because we can is not warped," I insisted.

"Have you ever thought that maybe it's what we are suppose to do? Just as the lion slaughters the zebra because that is what is right, maybe we are supposed to kill the humans. That it's what is right in nature. No one questions the lion because he eats what he desires. Why are we questioning what is so natural to us?"

"Because we are of higher intelligence than a lion," I said firmly.

"My high intelligence is telling me to live how we were meant to live."

"What are you saying?" My voice was wavering.

"I'm leaving. Now."

"Edward, no. That is not the answer. We can talk about this." Please!

"There's nothing more to talk about." He was eerily calm. "You can either come with me and live how we are suppose to live or stay here with him."

"That's not a choice," I said shaking my head. I love you so much, but I will not leave my husband for any reason.

"Edward, please, just wait a day to calm down," Carlisle tried to reason.

"No!" Edward said angrily as he looked Carlisle in the eye. "I've listened to you enough. I've heard everything you've had to say. I can't do this anymore. I know what I want and it's not this." He turned to me and leaned down and kissed my forehead. "This isn't your fault. Tonight just made me realize what I've known for a while."

"Please, Edward. Don't leave me." My whole body was trembling.

"Goodbye, Esme."

"Edward, son, please don't do this. Please don't go." Carlisle's voice was shaking with emotion.

"A son learns from his father, but I need the world to teach me where you have failed me." His bitterness ripped at my heart.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Carlisle pleaded once again.

"We're past apologies. Goodbye."

He pushed out the front door and disappeared into the night. Carlisle watched him and turned to me, his eyes displaying his pain, but also his concern for me. He was torn between wanting to comfort me, and wanting to go after his son. There was only one choice this time.

"Go after him," I cried. "Before it is too late."

I collapsed on the steps with my chest heaving wishing that the tears would come. They never did.

I waited. I listened. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. As time passed and there was no sign of either man that I loved, it kept sinking in more and more that Edward was not coming back.

It was twilight when I heard a single set of footsteps approaching. My eyes set upon the door where a moment later my husband came in. Alone.

His head hung low. He didn't look up as he softly spoke. "I chased him up through Wisconsin but then he disappeared into Lake Superior. He never looked back." His voice cracked. "Not once."

I was instantly in front of him – my feet putting me there before I my mind could tell me to. Instincts.

I caressed his cheek, urging him to look at me, but he just folded his arms around me and buried his face in my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Esme. This is all my fault."

"It's not," I said as I held him to me, and repeated, "It's not."

"I quit."

"No! You can't. Carlisle, you love your job. I would never ask you to do that. It means so much to you."

"Not as much as you mean to me. Not as much as I love you. I can't leave you alone here anymore. We need to get out of this house."

Edward had been gone a week and a half, but it felt like eons longer. The evening after Edward left, Carlisle worked. Alone in the house all night I sat on the couch and wept. The second night I sat on the floor in Edward's room and wailed. I stopped crying after two nights and took to staring at the walls or the piano or the novel he was reading before we left for the cinema that was still sitting on the end table. His scent was still in the air and in everything he had touched. I kept listening for his footsteps. I longed to hear his laughter or see his smile.

It was lonely and quiet at night, and when Carlisle arrived home in the mornings things were not much better. While he could escape these walls and use work as a distraction, I was stuck in that house pondering what we could have done differently to have avoided his departure. When my husband would come home he would instantly feel my misery and be sucked into it too. I couldn't find joy. Everywhere I turned I was reminded of Edward.

"Where will we go? You don't have a position lined up," I insisted.

"How about we rough it for a little while?" he said with a bit of cheer in his voice.

"Rough it?" I asked skeptically.

"Many of our kind our nomadic and I've lived that life at times. Pack a bag and we'll go."

"Didn't you give notice?"

"No, I told Dr. Mayo that I had a family emergency and that I was resigning immediately. He said if I ever decided to come back that they would have a place for me there."

"You didn't have to do that," I mumbled.

"Esme, I did. You're unhappy. I'm unhappy. I know it has only been a week and a half. We are not going to suddenly forget him and the pain isn't going to suddenly go away. But I think staying here where every where we turn we are reminded of him isn't going to help us heal. As much as I grieve, seeing your pain only grieves me more." His hand reached out and caressed my cheek, but I didn't meet his eyes.

"What if he comes back? He'll think we have abandoned him," I worried.

"We can't stay here forever waiting for him, my love. If and when he decides to return to us, he'll find us where ever we are. He's left a void in our lives and holes in our hearts and I don't expect either to ever completely fill in, but we need to go on. We need to live and staying here is just going to keep us standing still."

"Carlisle, but…" I started to argue, but he cut me off with a gentle kiss. He tilted my chin with his fingers so I had to look at him.

"No buts, Esme. Pack lightly. It's about time we went on an adventure. I promised you that I would take you to see the world, but so far I've confined you to a few states. It's time you saw the ocean, Mrs. Cullen, and maybe met a few others of our kind as well. Go, pack, my love. We'll leave later today."

I think you are going to enjoy Carlisle and Esme's adventures.

Thanks to my betas Sweetishbubble, Batgirl8968, and MelissaMargaret.