When I was five years old, my parents took me on a vacation to the countryside. It was one of those classic family trips, you know, put the kids on the train and take them away from the city for a while. Three weeks of bliss on a farm just before my first day of school.

One day, the fence that surrounded the farm broke and a few of the cows got loose. We found most of them but one had wandered onto the rail tracks. There was nothing we could do, there was a train approaching and it was just too dangerous.

I knew what was going to happen. I knew. But I just couldn't look away. I just couldn't take my eyes away from the disaster that was going to occur. It's like I HAD to watch. I had to see it happen, in every detail. My stomach lurched, I got dizzy but I still couldn't turn away.

That pretty much sums up how I felt watching Ino go after Hinata. I almost felt worse for her then I had the cow.

"But Hinata-chan! You have such a great rack and it's going completely to waste," Ino whined.

Oh yeah. The cow was dancing through a field of daisies compared to Hinata.

I had to intervene. "Ino, maybe you should take it down…"

The wrath of the blonde turned towards me. "You are not helping! I am attempting to bring a bit of sunshine into the otherwise dreary existence of this poor, unfortunate soul and you are sitting there, with your logic and your rules and…"

"INO!" Sakura yelled. "Leave her ALONE."

Ino turned towards the pink haired girl and glared. "I am helping."

"No, you are terrifying her."

"There's nothing scary about this. She wants Naruto. Naruto's an idiot. Aggressive measures need to be taken."

If Hinata was fazed by that statement, it certainly didn't show. Of course, by now she had passed from turning into a tomato into attempting to implode so as to avoid all the attention.

"This isn't a mission!"

"Of course it's not," Ino snapped. "If it was, it would have to be at least S-rank considering who the target is."

"Did you ever think maybe Hinata doesn't want your help?"

"Just because YOU want to die a virgin doesn't mean the rest of us have to."

There was a bit of silence. I was calculating whether or not I could get out of the country fast enough to escape the impending explosion of Sakura's temper. Considering the way that vein in her forehead was throbbing, I realized that I'd have to traverse an ocean to be really safe.

And then, as a certain someone would say, Fate stepped in and saved us all.

"Good morning, girls," Tsunade said, a little louder than necessary. But then the small group of elders following her made it very apparent why she needed us to behave. We all jumped to our feet, gave a deep bow and sat down just as quickly.

"This mission is an extremely delicate one," one of the council members started, a rather evil looking smile growing across her face she spoke. "And as Hokage-sama has been singing your accolades during our meetings lately, we feel this is a true test of your skills. In fact, we are entrusting you not only with this mission but also with the training of one of our most promising ninja in order to be able to complete it."

I didn't have to see the scroll. I knew we were screwed. Taking a quick glance at the Hokage's face, I could tell she wasn't pleased about this either.

It made sense to me instantly. The council had been trying to sink this pet project of hers for months. I won't pretend to understand why. I have a hard enough time understanding Hyuuga politics. But I knew the Hokage had already pushed through a lot of changes that the council didn't like. And worse than that, in their eyes, the person she was grooming to be her successor was…

"Naruto?" Ino yelled suddenly. "You want Naruto on THIS mission?"

Sakura moved quickly and clamped her hands over Ino's mouth. "What Ino means to say is we gladly accept this mission and guarantee that it will be a success."

The council woman's face spoke the words that I was already thinking. Not likely.

Finding Naruto was not an easy task. He and his Sannin sensei had a habit of taking impromptu training trips and it appeared that they were smack in the middle of one when the mission came in.

It was decided that I was the perfect candidate to find him. Not for my ANBU tracking skills. Not for my ability to hone in on any target. No… because train wreck Ino had to scheme

"Listen to me, you have to let Hinata take the main role," Ino pleaded.

"And why is that?" I asked.

"Look, the entire plan revolves around Naruto and whoever we assign to the female role. This is the perfect chance to get them to hook up."

"You can't be serious."

"I can see it now, the dim lights, the soft music…"

"This is a mission."

And then she sighed dramatically. "You know, not everything in life is about missions. Please… just once. For Hinata."

Inuzuka trained her. Those perfect sad puppy dog eyes she produced… It was the only explanation as to why I buckled that fast and headed out on a fool's errand to a hot spring town just a few miles out of Konoha.

I found Naruto and the Sannin perched on a hill overlooking a public bath. Naruto looked bored while his sensei… was he drooling? I cleared my throat because apparently I wasn't going to get their attention otherwise. Naruto jumped but his mentor simply turned his spyglass from the bath house right onto my chest.

"Tenten-san," he smiled. "What a pleasant surprise."

The fact that he could recognize me by chest alone was rather disturbing. Not quite as disturbing, though, as when he stood up and advanced.

"A lovely young kunoichi sent to give me a message. Tsunade-hime is so kind," he continued, very deftly taking my hand and pulling it to his mouth.

"Sannin or not," I interrupted, "if you continue on that course of action, I will disassemble your hand bone by bone."

He paused for a moment and looked over at Naruto. The younger boy nodded frantically as if to say, yeah, this one is hardcore. I smirked and Jiraiya glanced at me for a second before his smile grew.

"You train with the Hyuuga boy, don't you?"

The smirk faded quickly. Though if I had to pick up one of my teammates' mannerisms at least it wasn't Lee's speech delivering ability.

"I'm not here for you," I stated dryly, pulling my hand free. "Naruto, you've been assigned a mission."

I must have blinked longer then normal because in an instant, Naruto had stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me away. He managed to yell good-bye to his sensei and barrage me questions about the mission at the same time.

It only took an hour to get back to Konoha but by then Naruto had approached an intolerable level of hyperactivity. And this is from someone who usually goes on missions with Lee.

"So this is with Sakura-chan's all girl team?" he asked.

"Yeah, it is."

"And it's an information retrieval mission?"

"Yes. The target will pass us the information during a formal ball."

For the first time since I told him about the mission, he quieted down. "So… I have to dance?"

I nodded. "It was at the insistence of the council that you come along with us."

"Man, they must really want you to fail this mission," he laughed nervously. "'Cause I can't dance… at all."

I looked over at him and gave him a sympathetic smile. "It'll be fine. Ino's got the whole thing planned out," I added, leaving out all the details of said plan.

I took him to the Hyuuga compound because that's where Ino was setting the stage. I expected candles and satin and a quartet of musicians because obviously Ino has read too many shoujo manga for her own good.

Not that I would know anything about shoujo manga. Of course not. I mean, it's not like I have a secret stash of the stuff under my bed protected by a multitude of traps.

That's just silly.

Instead, we got to the Hyuuga compound and found nothing had changed at all. Hinata was sitting on the sideline attempting to say something to get Ino and Sakura to stop screaming at each other.

"How can it be THAT hard to understand?" Ino yelled.

"You keep stepping on my feet!"

"Because your feet are as big as your forehead!"

"Hey!" I bellowed making sure I have their attention. "Honestly, acting like a bunch of squabbling children in the middle of the Hyuuga compound! You're embarrassing Hinata."

They both looked over at Hinata to confirm this, but by then the Hyuuga heiress had gotten a look at who was following me. Ino's eyes lit up and she completely forgot about Sakura.

"Naruto! Did Tenten fill you in? Okay, here's the skinny, you and Hinata will be posing as a loving couple at this ball. All you have to do is dance, meet the contact half way, get the scroll and give it to us. Then you guys can just spend the rest of the night…"

"Ah… I can't dance," Naruto interjected.

I took a few steps back for safety's sake. "What do you mean you can't DANCE?"

"Neither can you, Ino-pig!"

I cringed and watched Ino suddenly remember she was annoyed at Sakura. I contemplated putting a few more miles between me and those two but there was a familiar annoyed sound behind me.

"Is there a reason why those two are here fighting and not somewhere else… like Sound?"

I shook my head at Neji. "Sorry, we're here for mission training."

"Combat training?" he asked, eyeing the way Sakura and Ino were pulling out weapons.

I let out a long sigh and filled him in as quickly as possible, leaving out any mention of Ino's intentions. I knew that he and Hinata had gotten closer but I didn't know if he had moved from somewhat concerned distant cousin to overprotective insane older brother. His expression never changed but I could almost detect the hint of a smile.

"I see," he stated, taking a few steps forward and maneuvering himself between Sakura and Ino. At the presence of the Hyuuga prodigy, everyone seemed to come to order, though whether that was out of fear or respect was another question.

His glare made them part more so that he had an open area. A look in my direction was all I needed to know what he was planning. I jogged over to his location. "Left hand up on my shoulder. Give me your right one. Step left, follow with right, forward left ninety degrees, move left one eighty, bring left to right, restart."

To anyone else it was gibberish, I'm sure. But it was the same language we always used. Mind you, the location and degrees were usually where I was supposed to throw a kunai or senbon but using my feet instead was just as easy.

"Alter forty five degrees," he said, changing it into a more circular pattern.

To say it was natural to spin around the courtyard is an understatement. But if you can't trust your team leader implicitly, hesitation on a mission will get you killed. I didn't know how to dance but I knew how to follow orders. And after a few more minutes, Neji stopped speaking, knowing I had already memorized the pattern.

I couldn't wait to see the look on Ino's face.

There it is. Pure shock.

Just like the popular girl in a high school romance manga looks when the tomboy girl suddenly shows that she can be a girl… not that I would know anything about that.

"Come on, Naruto," I called. "It's not that hard, I'll show you how it's done." The eager boy bounced over.

"How do you know how to do that?" Ino demanded as Neji walked back to them.

"Every Hyuuga is trained in formal dance and etiquette," he replied dryly.

Ino looked over at Hinata and the girl shrugged meekly. It's not like they would have asked her.

"Well," Ino said, attempting to recover. "Then Hinata can teach Naruto…"

"No."

I glanced over Naruto's shoulder at the look on Neji's face. Okay, overprotective insane older brother it is, then.

For all the fun people make of Naruto's bumbling, he is actually quite graceful when he tries. It only took four hours and Sakura healing my bruised feet about twenty times before he got it.

Ino though… Ino was quiet. Eerily quiet. Like she was plotting. Or maybe she was giving up. I mean, having Hyuuga Neji act as a barrier between two people was about the same as putting a reinforced steel wall there instead. And it's not like Neji would ever back down. After all, a Branch member was duty bound to protect a Main House member. Especially, apparently, if it was from a plotting blonde kunoichi.

We had dinner that night in the Hyuuga compound. It was a relaxed environment, if you could ignore Ino trying to covertly get Naruto and Hinata to talk to each other while Neji blocked every attempt. I, of course, got roped into training after dinner because obviously if I was within fifty meters of Neji that was all he needed as an invitation.

Sometime around midnight, the weapons were finally collected and I was ready to go home. I had a mission first thing in the morning as it was.

"You'll be back in a couple of days, then," he said.

"Yeah. You didn't have a mission planned, did you?"

He gave the barest shake of his head. "Lee misses you and he is intolerable while you're gone."

Lee missed me when I went around to the corner deli. We both knew that. So his statement wasn't really necessary… unless he wasn't just talking about Lee.

"Ah, I see," I replied, knowing enough not to speak any of those thoughts out loud. "Tell him I'll bring him back something shiny then."

Then it was a smirk, his usual 'hn' and that was all I was getting for a good bye.

The next morning was uneventful. We made it to our rendezvous place in record time. Sakura was extremely pleased at how smoothly things were going. I realized that was in part due to the fact that Ino was well behaved. Beyond well behaved. She was pleasant and considerate, not bothering Naruto or Hinata at all.

I went to change for the dance while Sakura attempted to get Naruto into his tuxedo. From my room, I could hear him whining and almost felt sorry for him. After all, I just had a dress, stockings and shoes. And what a dress it was. One of those very long elegant black ones that swept the floor and had sleeves that fluttered in the wind as I turned. I liked it, simple and graceful.

The second I put on my dress, I realized something was very, very wrong. First, there were slits up the sides of the bottom that almost went to an indecent height. Second, it was missing the sleeves. Third, it was missing the back… all of the back. So standing there staring at my now bare back and wondering what force of gravity was going to keep the dress on, I knew there was only one person to blame.

I threw open the door and there she was with a smile that would scare the devil himself. It didn't help matters at all that she was looking me over like a wolf does a bunny rabbit.

"Hey, Tenten," Ino sang, "do you know that the only reason Hinata can come on our missions is because Neji said you're the only girl outside the clan that the Hyuuga trust with her safety?"

I wanted to have some snappy reply to that. I wanted to put her in her place with lectures about ANBU and being trusted by your captain. But all I could think was that Hinata was no longer the only cow on Ino's train tracks.

I just joined her.