A/N: Guys, I'm so sorry it's been so long! I've been caught up in a million different things lately and haven't really had time to write. I'm going to try to update more often, but I can't promise anything. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Lydia was going out of her freaking mind. She had read every single book that Allison had brought to her, and had even messed around on her table when Allison brought that, too, but she spent most of her time watching out the window. She had done absolutely everything she had available to her – and she'd only been in the hospital for two days.
Since she woke up, Stiles spent a lot of time with Kristy. Lydia figured it was because he knew that she was safe, he wanted his attention to make sure that Kristy was okay. Stiles had told Lydia that Kristy wasn't getting very good sleep with her in the hospital, though – she woke up several times a night and John had been sent over to the apartment several times because of the screaming.
The pack had all had very different reactions to what Lydia had done. When Danny and Ethan came to visit her, Ethan had told her that even though she had confided in him about it and that's what saved her life, he wasn't happy with her. Danny told her that he was always going to love her like a sister because of how long they'd known each other, and the fact that out of everyone in the pack (except maybe Scott and Stiles) they had been friends with each other the longest.
Derek didn't say anything to her about it, but Lydia knew that he wasn't happy. And why would he be? Derek had lost almost his entire family and he knew what that felt like. While Derek did come to see Lydia every day, he didn't bring it up and Lydia didn't ask. And Isaac – well, Isaac didn't really say anything, apart from saying "You're welcome," when Lydia thanked him for saving her life.
Allison had told Lydia that even though she understood completely why she did what she did and probably would have done the same fucking thing if Melanie's life was in danger, it was a stupid thing to do. "Pack takes care of each other, Lydia," Allison had said, holding her friend's hand, "and you've known Scott a long time. Do you think that he wouldn't have made sure that both you and Kristy were safe?"
Scott had told her that he didn't want to talk to her about what she had done – not yet. He wanted her to concentrate on getting better, and as soon as he was sure that she was fine, they were going to have a long talk about it. Lydia knew it would be more difficult for Scott, considering the fact that he was not just an alpha, but the fact that Lydia was dating his best friend.
If Stiles and Lydia were even still dating. She wasn't sure about that, to be honest. Since leaving the hospital that day to do the job he had to do, he came and saw Lydia all of three times. This was incredibly weird for Lydia – she had grown up knowing Stiles, it's true, but he usually approached things head on than ignoring them. To be completely honest, it really made her worry. Then, two days before she was due to be released from the hospital, however, Stiles showed up with a duffel bag full of stuff, looked right at her, and told her that they were going to have a talk.
"Where have you been?" she asked, trying her best not to sound hurt. "I haven't seen a whole lot of you lately."
"I've been taking care of Kristy," Stiles answered, but Lydia knew there was more to it than that. "And then Scott told me yesterday that you and I need to have a talk, because I could give Derek a run for his money with the brooding I've been doing. So we're going to talk about this, Lyds."
"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked him on impulse.
Stiles shook his head, "No, but we're going to have this out. Now," he said, sitting down in the armchair that was across from her bed, "Tell me why you did what you did."
She sighed, "Deucalion and I had a meeting a few weeks ago. He told me what he wanted – Kristy, in case that wasn't clear – and told me that it was either my life or hers. I could give her to the alpha pack and live, or I could not give her up and give my own life instead."
"And you believed him?!" Stiles asked. "Think about it, Lydia. Deucalion and Aiden were the bad guys in this case – the villains. They were the villains and you thought to just take them at their word? What if, after you were dead and gone, Deucalion decided that he wanted Kristy anyway? Villains don't honor their agreements, Lyds. There was nothing stopping him from coming and getting Kristy if he decided to come and get her after you died."
Lydia sighed, "Look, I did what I felt was necessary. Kristy doesn't need me."
Stiles watched her for a long moment before saying, "Lydia, you're smarter than this! Why wouldn't Kristy need you?"
"Because she's got you guys. She's got you to raise her – and don't even look at me like that, Stiles, I know you think of her as your own – and she's got the pack to protect her. There's nothing I can do for her that you guys can't."
"How about just being her mother?" Stiles asked. "Lydia, my mom died when I was eight years old. I remember everything about her being sick, about wishing it was different, and then one day, she was just…she was just gone. I miss my mom like crazy, and I wish that she was still here with me. No matter how old a person is, they still need their mother."
"That's different –" Lydia started, but Stiles interrupted her.
"It's no different than this, Lydia, I can promise you that. I would do anything just to give me five minutes with my mom again. And you were just going to take that away from her!"
"Stiles, it's not like I had a choice!" Lydia yelled, surprised at her volume. "I was doing what I needed to do for Kristy! She deserves to grow up and have a life just as much as anyone else, even if she is half banshee!"
"Lydia," Stiles said, sighing, "I love you. I've been in love with you for a long fucking time, alright? And I almost lost you. I thought I was going to lose you. Now, Ethan and I have had words since he knew about your idiotic plan, but you're smarter than this, Lyds, and you know it. Scott would've found a way. I would've found a way. And what about the baby?"
Lydia sighed, "I didn't know about that then."
"Lydia –" Stiles started, but Lydia shook her head.
"You know what, Stiles? I hadn't even missed a period yet, so I had no idea I was pregnant. And yeah, maybe I should've done a test just to be sure, but we've only had sex three times and I'm on birth control. Well, I was. And I just didn't think about that possibility, okay?"
"You put our baby's life at risk, Lydia, and I'm having a hard time forgiving you for that."
Then there was silence. There was silence as Lydia started to cry. The tears started streaming down her cheeks and she couldn't stop them, so she put her head in her hands and started sobbing. She hadn't cried like this since the day Jackson had told her that he was becoming something better and needed to remove the dead weight in his life – with the dead weight being her. She didn't make it a habit to cry, because why cry about something you can't change? But here, right now, with Stiles obviously so angry at her for doing what she did, she felt hopeless. She had fucked up, he was right, but she just didn't like to think that he was always going to stay this angry at her.
She sat there, her head in her hands for about two minutes before Stiles came over and sat down on the bed beside her. He went to grab a hold of her hand, but she yanked it away.
"Not now, Stiles," Lydia snapped. "I'm not some dumb bitch who needs approval, okay? You obviously think I'm a terrible person for what I did, but I didn't see any other fucking way. I wasn't going to let anyone die for me. Not Allison, not Scott, and especially not the person I'm in love with! I was doing it all for Kristy, and yeah, maybe I made a poor decision, but I would do anything to make sure my daughter was safe, and I don't care what anybody else has to say about it!"
"Lydia," Stiles said softly, and Lydia lifted her head to look at him, "I didn't mean it like that, okay? You should've trusted your pack to take care of this. I almost lost you, and I don't think that I could've lived without you. My heart practically stopped when my dad called and told me that you were here. I just need you to be safe."
Lydia nodded, "Okay, Stiles. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Stiles said, grabbing Lydia's hand. "It's going to be okay."
They sat there with one another for a few moments before Stiles said, "You know we're going to have to talk about the baby, right, Lyds?"
Lydia nodded, "Yeah, I know."
"Are you sticking around Beacon Hills?" Stiles said, asking the question that he'd been dying to ask for a while now. "I mean, now that the threat is gone, and the fact that you don't have to stay, are you gonna?"
"Yeah," Lydia answered. "I mean, I might continue to go to school – I was gonna transfer to Berkeley – but I wanna stay here with you guys and I want to continue to date you, Stiles. I want to be with you."
Stiles nodded, "Okay. I want to be with you, too, Lydia."
"I really am sorry about this, Stiles," Lydia said. "I mean, I get why you guys are upset. It does make sense for you guys to be upset with me after what I did – I get that. I thought it was the only choice I had and I didn't want anybody to get killed because of me."
"You know, you and Scott are a lot alike," Stiles said after a moment of silence. "He would've done the same thing. He would've risked his life if he thought it would save someone else's. He's pretty self-sacrificing that way." Stiles watched her, "Of course, I wouldn't. I'm not as good of a guy as Scott is."
Lydia laughed, "Thanks, Stiles. I don't just mean it for now – I mean for everything that you've done for me in the past months. When Erica told me that you could help me, and that's why I even showed up on your doorstep that day, I thought she was crazy. But I get it, and I'm thankful for everything you've done for me."
Stiles leaned in to give Lydia a quick kiss before saying, "I would do it all over again, too, Lyds, if it was for you."
-x-
When Stiles walked into his dad's office at the station, John looked up at him, surprised. "I didn't figure to see you today," he said honestly, grabbing the bag of lunch Stiles had brought him. "I mean, now that you and your girlfriend are speaking again."
When John opened the lunch bag, he cocked an eyebrow at Stiles, "You brought me a burger. Now, is this really a burger, or something else disguised as one?"
"Nope, it's a true, honest to God, red meat-worthy cheeseburger," Stiles said, and John pulled it out. Then he saw the fries.
"Curly fries, huh?" John asked. Stiles just sat down and watched his father. "I distinctly remember someone that kept telling me I'm not supposed to have fries, especially the curly ones." He watched his son for a good minute, not sure if Stiles was just going to say whatever he went there to say, but when it was apparent that he's wasn't, John said, "Out with it, Stiles."
Stiles gave John a surprised look, and he laughed, "Hey, I know a bribe when I see one. You've been trying to get me to lay off the red meat for years. You obviously want something."
"I need to ask you a question," Stiles said honestly. John just waited.
"I mean, I don't want to stir up any bad memories, because I think that you and Melissa are doing great together, and I don't want to, like, make you remember bad things and be sad -"
"Stiles," John said patiently. "I've got real work to do, so you're going to need to tell me what you came here for, okay, Son? I can honestly answer anything you ask me."
"What Lydia did was stupid," Stiles said, and John nodded as he took a bite of his burger. "What she did was extremely stupid, and she could've gotten herself killed. And I kind of said something yesterday that I really shouldn't have, and now I'm feeling really guilty about it."
"Where's the question?" John asked.
"It's just…I kinda told her that she put our baby's life in danger and I wasn't sure if I could ever forgive her for that. Now, I know it was an incredibly stupid thing to say –"
"It was insensitive, Stiles," John said. "You have to realize that Lydia did what she thought was right."
"How could that have been right for anyone, let alone her?" Stiles asked. "Her solution was to die."
"I don't know if you can fully understand her motives without being a parent, Stiles," John said, eating a curly fry. He noted the look that Stiles was giving him, so he said, "Kid, you know I love you, and I know you probably are getting sick of hearing it, but it's the truth. I know I've felt that way at least a dozen times, and Melissa would definitely agree with me."
"But Lydia's pregnant!" Stiles exclaimed, probably a little too loudly. "She was going to save one kid by sacrificing another!"
"Stiles, son, you need to calm down," John said. "And think about it. I mean, really, truly think about it. You don't have a kid, but think about Lydia, or Scott, or Allison – hell, think of Melanie. Your niece, your goddaughter. If she was in danger, or hurt, would you sacrifice yourself for her?"
"You know I would."
"I do," John answered. "I know you love her like she's your own. So if someone was coming after Melanie, and you found out the way that you could save her was dying in her place, would you do it?"
"Dad, that's not even fair – " Stiles started, but stopped when he saw his dad shake his head.
"That's the point, Stiles, it's not fair. Deucalion and his pack of alphas had been around since before Derek was even born, okay? He knew what he was doing. And Lydia figured that your pack couldn't defeat him. She didn't want anybody to die for her. She has spent the last year of Kristy's life taking care of her, making sure that she's taken care of and provided for, right? Isn't that what Erica told you in those super-secret Skype sessions the two of you had every week?"
"Yeah, but – " Stiles stopped mid-sentence. "Hang on, Dad, if they were so super-secret, then how do you know about them?"
"It's in my job description to know the things that people try to hide, Stiles, don't change the subject. All Lydia's done, and all she's wanted to do since she brought that child into her life is take care of her. When Lydia Martin does something, she goes all in, correct? She doesn't do anything half-assed."
"Yeah," Stiles mumbled.
"So she's going to want to take care of herself. But when you're a parent, Stiles, your child's life trumps yours. Every. Single. Time."
"No exceptions?" Stiles asked weakly.
John just shook his head, "No exceptions."