You know, considering all the crazy jutsu most ninja are capable of, it seems odd that no one has ever perfected something as simple as a hangover cure. Ugh, I felt like crap. I was going to blame Hina-chan for this. Who knew the little Hyuuga heiress could keep up with the rest of us? I assumed she'd be done after like, two drinks. But if I wanted her inhibitions lowered enough so that she'd confess to Naruto, I had to keep ordering the drinks.

I wondered how the plan went. I didn't really remember anything past the fifth round.

I rolled on my side and snuggled in the sheet. Odd... these didn't feel like the ones I was used to. I looked down and saw a plaid pattern that no woman in her right mind would ever use on her bed.

...

Oh crap.

I pulled up the sheet and looked down.

If I had been smart like Forehead, calm like Hina-chan or by-the-book like Tenten, I probably would have taken a second to consider the next course of action. Instead, I did what any normal girl would do when she woke up naked in some unknown guy's bed.

I panicked.

With a horrified scream, I clutched the sheet next to me and Shunshin no Jutsu-ed myself out of there. It took like five consecutive jumps before I felt safe enough. Of course, by then I had no idea where I had just come from. I still had the sheet around me but that was the only thing between me and full embarrassment. I needed cover fast before anyone saw me so I teleported again until I was on the roof of my own house, breathing heavily as my heart pounded in my chest. The sheet was clutched to my chest as I quickly climbed down into my room.

I started rummaging through my closets, throwing on the most comfortable shirt and sweat pants I could find. My tangled hair went up in a ponytail and I splashed water on my face to try to wake up.

Okay, okay. This was bad. Very bad.

The door opened and daddy walked in.

"Good morning, princess!" he smiled. "I wanted to know if my baby girl wanted breakfast." He held up a plate of eggs and sausage and my stomach lurched. I shook my head quickly.

"But this is your favorite," he continued. He took a good look at me. "Are you sick? You look... wait, are you HUNG OVER?"

I grabbed the plate and shoved the food in my mouth as quickly as possible. "Nope, totally fine," I said between bites. "Have to run out. Training."

"Ah... okay," he said, not entirely convinced. "Ibiki-san was here earlier. We've been discussing possible training options for..."

"Oh, that's great, daddy," I said, forcing my stomach to behave. "I can't wait to, like, torture and interrogate people."

Like the son of a bitch that took advantage of me last night.

"But right now," I said, handing him back the plate. "I really need to go." He made me promise to talk about it later on and I nodded before running out the door.

As I walked down the street, my mind was desperately trying to sort through the limited memories of last night. There was dancing. And drinking. And more of the same. But beyond that it was a complete blank.

"Hey, blondie."

I came to a stop and looked over my shoulder. Sauntering down the street was none other than Kankuro. I glared, still not forgiving him for the kiss incident in Suna. He's lucky he came out of that with only a broken leg.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded, hands on my hips.

He smiled, leered really. "You don't remember?" he asked. "We came in last night and joined your party."

I felt the color drain from my face. No. No way. There was not enough alcohol in the world that would make me even consider LOOKING his way, let alone... My stomach clenched and I wobbled.

"Woah," he said, reaching forward to steady me. "Still a bit tipsy, eh?"

I grabbed his shoulder. I had to ask him straight out. There was no other way. Though if his answer was what I was afraid it would be... I didn't care if it would cause an international incident. I'd kill him on the spot.

"What... what did we do last night?" I asked.

He smiled. "We danced. We drank. And you... promised me a date."

I laughed. Laughed right out loud. "A date?"

He looked a bit hurt at that. "Yeah."

"That's it?"

He flustered and stepped away from me. "Why? Thinking of backing out?"

I laughed again, completely relieved. "No, no. I owe you a date. That's totally acceptable."

He smiled and pulled me close. "So... can we just skip the date and go right to the..."

I stomped on his foot. Hard. My gratefulness would only go so far. I glared at him, making sure he understood I was not that type of girl. At least... I really hoped I wasn't that type of girl.

"Okay, okay," he said, hopping away. "Then we'll just have to do dinner first. Tomorrow. 7pm. I'll pick you up."

I wanted to shout how there was no way in hell that would happen but... ugh! I hated breaking my word. And it was just one date. It wasn't like it was the end of the world. Hmm, I wonder if I could convince the Hokage that it was a diplomatic mission. If I was really lucky, I could convince her it should be an assassination mission.

Kankuro stopping my wild charge through Konoha had actually been a good thing. I had a chance now to stop and think. I wasn't approaching this logically at all. I shouldn't be asking guys what happened. I needed to go to my female friends and get the word from them. It also had the added benefit that when I broke down, completely mortified, they'd be there to comfort me.

Forehead was out. She'd never let me live this down if she knew. Tenten was probably with Neji, at least she better be. That left Hinata. I changed direction and headed towards the Hyuuga compound. The guards at the front door told me that she was still sleeping but I managed to convince them it was in their best interest to let me through anyway. Okay, so maybe I lied and said we had an urgent mission request but it wasn't far from the truth. Finding out what happened last night was, like, an S-ranked mission.

I opened the door to Hinata's room and found her still in a tangle of sheets. I was about to wake her up when I realized she wasn't alone. I smiled evilly. So maybe something good had come out of all of this. Considering the way the bed looked, whoever was there was just as tangled in Hinata as the sheets were. I suppose I could have been nice, but curiosity got the best of me and I pulled the sheet off.

"AH HA!" I cried. "What the hell?" I continued, looking down at the duo on the futon.

Tenten cracked open an eye and looked at me. "Ino... what's going on?"

"YOU'RE WITH THE WRONG HYUUGA!" I yelled, kicking her in the butt. A kunai slashed at my foot but ended up in the floor instead of my flesh.

"Please... Ino-san..." Hinata said softly, waking up as well. "Not so loud."

I collapsed on the floor and they started to sit up. "Yeah, what's the big deal anyway?" Tenten asked.

"Why are you here?" I demanded, poking Tenten in the chest.

She let out a large yawn. "It was late so I just decided to crash."

"Yes but why are you in Hinata's bed and not Neji's?"

Tenten blushed deeply and looked mortified. "I can think of a dozen reasons but mostly it's because I could barely stand last night, thanks to you!"

Hinata nodded once before deciding moving her head was a bad idea. "Ow... what time is it?"

Tenten's eyes shot open and she looked at the clock. "Oh crap, I'm late for training."

As she hurried around, getting ready, I looked at Hinata. "Hinata," I said seriously, trying to ignore how perfect her hair looked. Who woke up with hair that great, especially after that much partying? No, I had bigger things to worry about then Hyuuga hair care. "Do you remember what happened last night?"

Hinata paused for a moment. "Well... we danced. A lot. And you kept ordering things to drink and then..." She looked up at me, going completely pale.

"AND?" I demanded. Even Tenten stopped running around to see what had caused Hinata such distress.

"And... and... I think I danced with Naruto-kun!" She turned bright red at that and suddenly fell back in the bed.

"Hinata!" Tenten cried, kneeling down next to the girl. "She passed out."

"That's just great," I frowned. "I mean it's great that she finally did something but I really needed her awake."

"Why? What did you need to ask?"

"I just..." I paused. Tenten was a nice girl but I didn't know if she would judge me or not for the mistake I made. "I..." I bit my lip and tried to remain calm. "I don't remember what happened last night!"

Tenten relaxed. "Oh. Is that all?"

"IS THAT ALL?" I cried. Didn't she understand?

"Well... you know, it's not like it's exactly a secret. I mean, you only asked out almost every single guy there."

I blinked. "Wait... what?"

Tenten sighed and sat back on the futon. "Well, first was Kiba, then Shino, Kankuro, Lee, Naruto and someone else..." she started ticking off people on her fingers. I watched with silent horror. I had asked out almost every guy we knew. And it's not like I could back out of it. First of all, it would be admitting to almost everyone that I couldn't handle my liquor. And more importantly, you don't just ask a guy out and then cancel it. A date with me is what every guy dreamed of. Canceling after asking was just cruel.

I shook my head. Okay, I was just going to have to deal with this later. Right now, I needed to know one thing. "Who did I go home with?"

Tenten taped her chin in thought. "I... I don't really know. We all sort of left at the same time, they were closing the bar down."

I threw up my hands in frustration before deciding on another tactic. "Who was the last person I was seen with?"

"Um... pretty sure it was Lee." She paused and looked at me with concern. "Can I ask you a huge favor?"

I frowned, knowing what was coming. "I'll keep my word. Even if I asked every person at that party last night on a date, I wouldn't ignore my responsibility today." Yes, that sounded mature. Seriously though, I'd go out with ever last person in Konoha if by some act of God I didn't do what I think I did last night.

She smiled. "Yeah, I figured you would. Just... give him a chance, okay? I know everyone assumes he's a bit um... well..."

"Crazy?"

Tenten cringed. "Yeah. But he's a nice guy. Just... excitable."

I sighed. "Fine." Then I started to think. And got perhaps my greatest idea ever. "We'll double."

"We'll what?"

"Double date. I'll take Lee and we'll meet you and Neji."

Tenten's brow scrunched up like she was trying to pick a reason why that wouldn't work. So I made sure she didn't have the chance to change her mind. "Great! I'll see you tomorrow..." No wait, that was Kankuro. "Screw it, we'll go tonight. 6pm in front of Ginza. I'll go tell Lee."

I ran out the door, just as Tenten started to protest. Like she'd actually back out. I knew exactly what she was thinking. She loved Lee like a brother and if him getting a date meant asking Orochimaru out, she'd probably do it. I quickly jumped to the roof of a nearby building and started to scan the horizon. Considering the time of day and Lee's training regime... there he was. I could see the dust cloud from here.

I waited for him to run close enough and then jumped down so I was in his path. Lee came a screeching halt in front of me. He stared at me. There's really nothing as unsettling as watching Rock Lee be completely silent. He wasn't even fidgeting.

"Hi, Lee," I said, trying to break the ice.

"...hi."

Okay, this was way too weird. "So... about our date."

"Oh." He smiled a bit. "You want to cancel."

"NO!" I yelled. Really, what type of person did people think I was? I know I could be a bit flighty and bitchy but I wasn't the type to just try to hurt people's feelings. Most of the time. "Didn't I say we were going out?"

"Yes, but..."

"So why wouldn't we go out?"

Lee tried to think of how to phrase the next part. "Well... Ino-san... I appreciate the offer, but my heart belongs to Sakura-chan."

Wait a minute. Was Lee, bushy eyebrowed and fashionably challenged Lee, turning me down? Me? The hottest kunoichi in Konoha. Oh, if this ever got out my social life would be ruined. I frowned and decided that there was only one thing left to do.

"Look, Lee," I said. "I know you like Fore... Sakura a lot. It's just... I thought we'd both be glad to do this for Tenten."

"Tenten?" Lee asked, full attention on me now.

"Yeah. I told her we would double with her and Neji so she wouldn't be so nervous asking him out."

Lee paused. And thought. And paced a bit. "I see. My eternal rival would likely want to bypass the entire dating process and just get married as he is always as efficient as possible. However, I can understand that a young girl like Tenten would much prefer a proper courtship first. One full of flowers and chocolates and shiny, pointy weapons." He came to a stop. "Yes, we must do this. We must provide them the most comfortable environment to pursue their romantic intentions. Thank you, Ino, you are a true friend for planning this."

"You better believe it," I said. "And who knows, maybe we'll make Sakura jealous if she hears we're going out."

"I would hate to hurt her in any way," Lee started, "but, perhaps, if it was for a good cause..."

I smiled at Lee before remembering my second reason for being here. "Um... Lee, you didn't happen to..." I trailed off looking at Lee. No. No way it could be him. Like he said, he was attached to Forehead. And if Konoha was still standing, then he hadn't been drinking last night with the rest of us. "To remember who I was talking to after I spoke to you?" I asked.

"Ah, of course. You spoke with Naruto after me."

"Great, thanks," I said, running off. "See you at Ginza tonight, 6pm sharp!"

I didn't bother to check Naruto's apartment first. At this time of day, there was only one place he would be. I wandered to the ramen shop and found him stirring a bowl of ramen slowly. The cook and the waitress were staring at him, faces full of worry.

"Naruto!" I said loudly, sitting next to him.

"Oh... hey, Ino," he said softly, idly stirring the broth. "You here for our 'date'?"

"No," I replied. "You'll have to take me out to a proper dinner."

He frowned. I tried to remain strong. If Naruto dumped me like Lee had tried to do, I'd have to seriously reconsider my entire philosophy of life. Or at least my wardrobe. I'd have to throw everything out and start from scratch and steal Hyuuga's hair products when they weren't looking.

"I don't think I'll be alive at dinner," he frowned.

"Oh come on, you can't have that bad a hangover."

"It's not that," he said, letting out a deep sigh. "It's just..." He dropped the spoon and started to look around nervously. "I... I danced with Hinata-chan."

I eyed him, trying not to get excited. "And?"

"I mean, it wasn't a big deal. You know, just holding hands, some twirls, but... she laughed, like she really liked it." He picked up the spoon and pushed some noodles, smiling a bit. "I don't think I've seen her that happy, you know. I mean, she was really cute."

I grabbed his arm, trying not to bop with anticipation in my seat. "AND?"

"And... and I think Neji's going to kill me for dancing with her. At least, that's what it looked like when I saw him watching last night." His head collapsed and he looked completely dejected. "So I won't be alive to go on a date with you."

"What?" I stood up straight. "Who are you?" I demanded, poking Naruto in the head. "Where's the real Naruto?"

"Huh?" he asked. "I'm... Naruto."

"No you're not! If you were the real Naruto, something as trivial as an overprotective cousin wouldn't stop you. Aren't you going to be the best ninja in Konoha?"

"Well... sure..."

"Aren't you going to be the Hokage?"

"Of course!" he said perking up a bit.

"Then, why are you being afraid now! If you want to ask Hina-chan out, why should Neji or ANYONE stop you?"

"You're RIGHT!" he said, jumping up and joining me. "I've beaten Neji in a fight once. If I want to ask Hinata-chan out... wait, I want to ask Hinata-chan out?"

I smacked my forehead. "Okay, let's review. You had fun last night dancing, right?"

"Yeah, I did."

"And you thought she was cute?"

"Yeah... I mean, really cute."

"And you liked seeing her happy?"

"Definitely," he smiled.

"So..." I trailed off, hoping he would catch on.

"So... I should... um..."

My temper broke. Clueless was BEYOND Clueless. I took him by the jacket and shook him silly. "ASK HER OUT!"

"Ow!" he said. "Okay! Okay! I get it."

I sighed. "Now, you're not going to ask her out right away. You're going to take me to dinner toni... wait, tomorr... no, two days from now. And we're going to have a long talk about appropriate date etiquette and colors other then orange. Okay?"

"Yeah... YEAH! I can totally do this!" he said, suddenly feeling a lot better. "Thanks, Ino!"

"Thanks Ino what?" Sakura asked, suddenly joining the conversation.

"Nothing!" I said, quickly, not wanting Sakura to distract Naruto from his new goal. "Nothing at all. How are you doing?"

Sakura shrugged. "I'm fine, just tired."

"You're not hungover?" I asked, looking at her.

"Sakura-chan's got a great remedy for hangovers," Naruto chirped, suddenly stuffing himself full of ramen.

"Medic-nin and all," Forehead said. I glared at her. "What? I tried to give you something, too, but you weren't at home."

I paled as I suddenly remembered why I was here. I looked at Naruto. I couldn't ask him outright, not with Sakura standing right there. So I'd just have to fib. "Hey, Naruto, Lee said I was talking to you last night. You didn't find my earring, did you? It's a little gold hoop."

Naruto shook his head. "You should ask Kiba. You were talking to him after me."

"Thanks," I smiled. Okay, one more person to check with.

"Listen, Ino," Sakura said, her tone the serious one she uses for mission talk. "We need to have a group meeting."

"Not tonight, I have a date," I said happily.

"Yes, we all heard. Who are you taking out tonight? Kankuro?" she smiled, a bit too evilly.

"Nope. Lee." I watched her reaction. It was blank. She totally didn't expect me to go through with it! Maybe she was a bit jealous... "And Neji and Tenten. Should be fun!"

"The four of you are going out together?" Sakura asked, surprise evident in her voice.

"Yep! Anyway, we can meet tomorrow morning. Later!" I bounded off, leaving a somewhat confused Sakura behind.

I had no idea where Kiba would be. I had to ask at his house, the Hokage's tower and Kurenai's before finding out he was scheduled to train with Shino. I wandered on to the training ground, trying to see either Kiba or Shino but they weren't visible. Akamaru suddenly appeared from the brush and trotted over, happily licking my hand.

"Hey there," I said, patting him on the head. "Where's your master?"

"Right here," Kiba said, jumping down from the tree. A second later, Shino materialized out of nowhere. "So, what do you need? Here to rescind your offer of a date?"

I was going to have to do some serious PR after this. I was not liking the way most people thought I was going to react. "No, I just have a busy schedule and wanted to make sure you had free time. I'm thinking lunch. Are you free, tomorrow?"

Kiba looked at me and shrugged. "Yeah, sure." He pulled off his jacket, clearly overheating from training.

"And you're good two days from now?" I asked Shino. He seemed somewhat taken aback that I had even recognized him.

"I... suppose."

I frowned. He wasn't still upset about that little bug squishing incident a while back, was he? I'd just have to make it up to him with a fabulous date then.

Kiba stripped off his shirt, using it to wipe down his chest. "So, then, that was it?"

I stared. Kiba was... wow. Just... wow. I never thought that underneath all the layers he'd look that good. I forgot what I was supposed to say. I forgot my own name. Thankfully, Akamaru licked my hand and brought me back to the real world.

"Akamaru sure is friendly today," I said, glad for the distraction.

"It's probably because you smell like barbecue."

I blinked. "I what?"

Kiba looked at me like I was insane for not realizing it earlier. "You smell like barbecue."

I smiled. I laughed. "I smell like barbecue!" I said happily as all the pieces finally fell into place. "Thanks, Kiba!" I leaned forward and hugged Kiba tight before taking off.

I swung by my house and got the sheet that I had left there, folding it up tenderly before walking to the Akimichi house. Knocking on the door, I waited until someone opened it.

"Oh... hey, Ino," Chouji said, looking down at me. "You have my sheet."

"Yeah... sorry about that," I said sheepishly. "Forgot I had a gazillion things to do today and had to jet."

"No problem," he smiled, stepping aside so he could let me in. "So... sorry about last night. I know you said to take you home but it was just easier to come here. And you know how your dad is."

I smiled and waved him off. Chouji was worried for nothing. I trusted him completely. There was no way he would have done anything to me. That's why I always made him promise to keep me in line. "It's fine! Seriously, you're the best friend a girl could have." He smiled broadly at that.

I filled him in on the day's events, leaving out the reasons why I was running all over Konoha. He laughed and shook his head as I told him about my busy calendar. "And so then Kiba takes off his shirt and... did you know Kiba was really hot?"

Chouji shook his head. "I can say I have never thought of him like that."

I rolled my eyes. "Well yeah. But anyway... maybe I lucked out. I can help Lee, Tenten and Naruto, finally apologize to Shino and maybe hit it off with Kiba." I paused. "You know, Tenten mentioned there was someone else but she couldn't remember who it was." I frowned. "Do you remember?"

He looked at me and sighed, shaking his head. "No, sorry, I was too busy trying to get you home."

"That's too bad. Everyone assumed I was going to back out so I wouldn't want him to think so too."

"I'm sure he knows you're busy."

"It's not the point," I pouted. "I don't like making people unhappy."

"I doubt you could ever make him unhappy."

"Huh?" I asked, looking at him.

"Ino-chan," Chouza said, wandering down the hall. "I thought I heard you. Here, the wife said to give you these back."

I took the cleaned clothes from his hand, noting that it was my ensemble from last night. How sweet. They had washed my clothes.

...

Wait a second.

"Chouji..." I started.

"So dad, ready to train?" he asked, suddenly putting his father between himself and me.

"CHOUJI!" I yelled. "Why was I NAKED?"

Chouza cringed. "I... really don't need to be involved..."

"CHOUJI!"

"It's not my fault!" He yelled. "You're the one who said it was hot and then took everything off."

Chouza sighed. "She's exactly like Inoichi. I'll hold her off, you run."

"CHOUJI! WHAT DID YOU SEE!"