P.M.A.
Positive Mental Attitude.
Archie, in all of his pop psych wisdom, peddled the idea that simply choosing to have a good day would yield favorable results. Regina snuffed out that idea as she slowly rubbed the bump on her head and squeezed her tired dry eyes closed as a warm blanket of pain seared through her scalp in a wave. The alarm had startled her awake, and the shock from being jerked out of sleep so abruptly had her quite literally jumping out of bed. She clamored to turn the intrusive alarm's incessant painful bleating off and in the process tangled her limbs in the bed covers and fell off the side, banging her head on the sharp edge of the night stand.
She sat up on the side of the bed and angrily tossed away the clinging covers, and slammed her palm down on the alarm to silence it. It was then she noticed her ass and feet were cold and wet. Holding one hand to her head, she winced and poked the plush cream colored carpet in her bedroom. The floor was flooded. She hobbled to unbalanced feet and stumbled to the flooded bathroom, a pipe must have busted as water was flowing from under the sink cabinet like a river.
There was such a thing as N.M.A. she decided; because once the negative events began there was no turning back no matter how many unicorns and rainbows she conjured in her mind's eye. After locating and turning off the main water stopcock, she called a plumber. The only one in town and who apparently was still holding a grudge against the Evil Queen because he insisted he couldn't be there to fix any of her pipes for at least two days. She was just supposed to go without water until it could be fixed. How was she supposed to dry her carpet?
Henry was away visiting Emma at her new house, and Regina decided to give a call and tell him to stay there for a few more nights. She went up to his room to pack him some more clothes to drop off and as she opened his dresser drawer she gasped and stumbled backwards at the horror that she found inside: a packet of condoms: unopened.
With a hard swallow and a bubbling rush of panic Regina swayed against the light headedness that overwhelmed her. Was her son having sex? He must have been at least thinking about it, and the fact that the condoms were still sealed in the packet was either a good sign…or a very bad one.
She ran her hand over her mouth, and tried to conjure her go to image of positivity of the unicorn leaping over a rainbow, but instead all she could imagine is teenage Henry handing over a baby and calling her 'grandma.' She needed coffee; she finished throwing together Henry's things and raced downstairs to her coffee maker, but couldn't make any because she had no water.
"Damn it," the sad looking excuse for a hallucinated unicorn whinnied in her head. His horn bent and drooped as the rainbow melted into a brown puddle at his feet.
After she raced to get dressed, realizing she was late to work, she was on the very verge of a full on mental breakdown. She hit every red light and when the tears started flowing she couldn't even hold back.
The day was already a total loss and it was only rounding up to 8am.
She called Emma from her office, and when she heard the familiar greeting of "Hey, Regina, good morning," she had meant to respond in a calm, collected, rational manner and give a coherent explanation for why Henry needed to stay over another night.
Something in Emma's soothing voice made her break down further and without thought she let loose, horrified at the sound of her hysterical unhinged sounding voice, "Emma…I—I hurt my head…. my carpet is all wet…and I had to use the stopcock!... I found condoms and I don't have any coffee…"
Sitting back in her chair, Regina blinked as she got a hold of herself, and cringed. When she got ahold of herself she calmed and explained the situation a bit more clearly, feeling foolish. It wasn't the end of the world; she shouldn't allow herself to be so upset about it.
"Are you okay?" Emma asked immediately, deep concern obvious in her tone.
Regina revaluated herself, touching her hair and brushing invisible lint off her slacks, "Yes…I..," she breathed into the phone. Though she didn't really feel okay at all, and leave it to Emma to detect the lie.
"Okay," Emma replied resolutely as if Regina's one word answer revealed far more information than it seemed. "Are you at the office?"
"Yes," Regina mumbled, she slid the phone over to her other ear, and licked her lips.
"Hang tight, and don't worry," Emma said nobly.
The conversation settled her nerves enough that Regina was able to start on her huge mountain of paperwork and immediately found a huge money guzzling error that would tie her up for the rest of the day trying to back track, make calls and get things corrected.
She couldn't focus and she was pretty sure her imaginary PMA unicorn friend, Horny, from her dwindling imaginary happy place was dead and gone.
A knock came at the door and Regina couldn't imagine what the next problem would be. "Come in," she spoke crisply and her bristling annoyance dripped off the words like oil.
"Granny's delivery," Ruby smiled and peeking in the door to bring forth a jumbo sized cup of coffee and a brown bag breakfast.
"What's this?" Regina's features grew cross as she watched the girl's radiant smile and perky demeanor with suspicion. Ruby crossed the room and sat the delivery on the edge of Regina's desk.
"Extra-large, extra shot latte with a chocolate croissant- with the good melty chocolate, not the chalky stuff we use up on Thursdays- courtesy of Emma."
Regina's eyes darted from the brunette to the food and she settled into her chair, feeling altogether confused and disingenuous.
"From Emma?" Regina couldn't think of anything to say.
"Yeah, she said she had something to take care of today so she asked to bring this by; enjoy!" Ruby called back as she turned on a hop, waving as she skipped out the door.
Regina went for the croissant and reached into the bag, pulling out the flaky pastry. She took a bite and let her shoulders sag in relaxation. The coffee was equally delicious and the food and caffeine did wonders for the pounding in her skull.
"Emma…" she whispered in gratitude as she licked the chocolate remnants from her fingers. For the first time that day she smiled. A little smile, it wasn't like a big grin or anything, but it was an overall improvement.
She skipped lunch, getting tied up in the mess of paperwork, and staying late at the office to try and scramble to put out fires. She watched the clock roll over to 6pm and her stomached growled. She felt mentally exhausted and knew that she'd go home to an empty and flooded house with no water. She wouldn't even be able to indulge in her favorite pleasure: a long hot soak in a bubble bath.
Leaving the office, she remembered to stop by Emma's new apartment to drop off Henry's clothes so he could stay in a place with running water for another night. Ever since Henry had started high school he tended to take more frequent and longer showers. That thought led to the condoms in his dresser and her eyes crossed from the stress and jolt of nausea she felt.
It took three times as long to get across town because one of the shepherd's was corralling his flock across Main Street. She sat anxiously in the car, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel and feeling the tension rise higher building into rage. She glanced in the rear view mirror and took in her blood shot eyes and poor skin tone. This was the worst day ever. The only bright spot had been the thoughtful gesture of Emma sending breakfast.
When she finally pulled up to Emma's apartment, and climbed up the three story walk up on heels, hauling Henry's duffle, she knocked on the door and waited for ten minutes. No one answered. Sucking in a deep breath and trying to tamp down her annoyance she clenched her jaw and shook her head. Where were Emma and Henry? It was almost 7 on a school night.
Emma and Henry's phones went straight to voicemail. Tired of waiting around she headed home to her flooded and lonely mansion.
When she pulled up, she noticed the lights were on and chastised herself for leaving in such a disordered rush that she forgot to switch them off that morning. She lumbered up the sidewalk: headache, empty stomach and bundled with rage, expecting to open the door to cold silence.
Instead, she heard laughter and smelled something cooking that made her mouth water. She stepped inside and deposited her purse and keys on the side table as she made her way to the source of the commotion.
Henry and Emma were bustling around her kitchen, laughing and making sizzling fajitas. Henry was pounding out the tortillas as Emma sautéed the veggies and chicken. Regina's mouth dropped open, and before she could say anything, Emma caught her staring from the doorway.
"Hey, you're home," she greeted cheerily.
"Mom, come check it out," Henry beckoned her over to the counter and showed her how they had made tortillas from scratch.
"I don't understand?" Regina felt too stunned to be mad or happy or anything else. The last thing she expected was her son and his other mom to be cooking a meal in her kitchen.
Henry laughed his grin was awkward and lopsided and it made Regina's heart soar. He grabbed her by the hand and led her over to the sink, "Water." He turned on the facet.
"Emma?" Regina was still looking for an explanation.
"Oh, well after you so upset this morning, I took it upon myself to fix your pipes," Emma wiped her forehead sheepishly.
"You have plumbing skills?" Regina asked dazed, only now taking in the messy cargo pants and dirty tank Emma wore under her apron.
"Well, I took a class…in jail. Lived in enough crummy apartments to know not to rely on a slumlord so I picked up some do it yourself tips…it's all fixed, but I patched it up with your garden hose."
"And we shop-vacced the carpet and got your room all dried out," Henry added. Regina shook her head and Emma crossed the room to grab her shoulders.
"What's wrong? You look sick," she started asking, inspecting Regina's eyes and looking worried. "Sorry, we thought you'd be happy…I didn't mean to intrude."
The sadness in Emma's voice snapped Regina out of her trance.
"You did all this for me?" Regina asked with wonder and Emma nodded. "I—don't know what to say. Thank you for breakfast…I never expected…"
"We have dessert too," Henry blurted, and then hushed when Emma turned her neck and hushed him. She faced Regina and tilted her head, "We wanted to surprise you."
"I can't believe it…" Regina felt herself start to tear up, overcome from the long day and completely unused to having someone do something so nice for her without wanting something in return… her thoughts muddied and she drew in a breath…
"Oh my god, Emma, why are you? Is Henry… are you two smoothing me over because you're about to tell me that I'm going to be a grandmother?" Regina felt herself sway from fear and the familiar burn of dread racing down her spine.
No, Regina, God no," Emma tried to reassure the worried woman. She was still grasping her shoulders and she shook her lightly, squeezing at her tense muscles. "Hey, I was going to tell you. I bought the condoms for Henry. He hasn't used them and says he has no plans to anytime soon, but I thought it was best that he be prepared if something came up…" Emma winced at her word choice.
Regina's eyes widened and she peered over Emma's shoulder noticing not for the first time how manly her teenage son was becoming. She thought over Emma's words and processed the information, relief flooding her and the tears started to fall. She didn't know why. She wasn't sad, she was grateful and overwhelmed. Regina was completely pent up and needed some sort of emotional release.
Emma did not hesitate when she wrapped her arms around Regina and pulled her hard against her, hugging her tightly and swaying slightly as she whispered, "it's all okay, it's all okay," into her hair. Regina latched on and let herself be held for the first time in a long time.
Dinner went a long way to counteract her bad day; the chocolate dessert had unwinding further, and by the time Henry went up to take his hour long shower and Regina and Emma retired to the living room to watch a movie and relax on the couch she was feeling better than she thought possible.
Then, warm, sweet Emma, who somehow knew just what Regina needed, (and not to mention she was apparently a plumber, and an amazing cooker of fajitas now too,) grabbed a soft blanket from the closet and opened her arms, allowing Regina to kick off her heels and scurry against her. She was filled with light and comfort and cuddles… and she imagined Horny perking back up to life and galloping over a vibrant rainbow made of sparkles and sugar.