A/N: Not really my characters or plot, sadly enough.

Chapter 10: Beyond Caring

We are out of sight.
The pavement seems foreign and the moon obscure, seethed in bleached cotton candy clouds. My hands are shaking, tucked in the pockets of my coat; from the cold, I am sure. Hiding half of my face in the scarf I cast a sideway glance towards Tom. He has thrown my bag over his right shoulder. I am walking at his left. He is whistling, as if he is happy. Strange. Tom might do the odd humming once in a while, but he never whistles. It such a relaxed thing to do.

"Oh, for God's sake – relax! I'm not going to jump ya."
The statement startles me.

"What?"
He exhales like I said something stupid, pulling at my bag which is constantly sliding off his shoulder.

"I'm not going to touch you, Hermione. I'm not going to pull you into a dark ally and 'have my way with you' as the euphemism goes.. I'm just going to walk you home."
I discreetly let out a breath I did not know that I had been holding.

"Does that comfort you?" He asks, hearing the exhale. He turns his whole torso in my direction. There is a hint of sarcasm to the tone, but then again, when isn't there one?

"Of course it does!" I snarl, picking up the pace.

He chuckles lightly, pulling at my bag again.

"No. In the end, you will be begging me for it."
My face blanches for a second, then I turn my head over my shoulder to meet his gaze, giving him my most heart-chilling stare.

"No, I will not." I emphasize every syllable.

"You wanna make a bet?"

"No. I wanna get home." I am utterly annoyed now and want to put the day behind me.

"Why not? Are you scared?"

"Nooo.. I'm just not four."

"Four year olds make bets? And pray tell.. where do you find these advanced four year olds?"

"Oh do shut up." We are practically running now, when I suddenly stop, turning around and facing him. Tom is looking half-confused, then I ungently pull my bag out of his clasp. He tightens the grip by mere reflex before letting go. I stumble backwards.

"Well then. Goodbye!" I exclaim in an irritated, loud voice, before I run.

He does not come after me.

Three weeks passes and nothing happens.
Tom is acting overly normal. No crude remarks or suspicious behaviour whatsoever. We eat breakfast together in silence, go to school separately, attend classes and try our best to be out of each others way during recess and lunch. Then we return from school separately. He spends his freetime with homework, Bella and his out-of-school friends. I spend mine with homework, the Gang and Kierkegaard. It is as if the incident with the diary never happend.
I realise that this is a new strategy of his.
The wait for something abnormal to happen is slowly driving me insane and he knows it.
He is waiting me out.

So I occupy myself with different projects, acting next to hyperactive. Never really allowing myself to think clearly.
Then one day Abraxas comes up to me during recess.
As it turns out, he and Ginny did not have sex or anything even resembling it that horrible evening at the café. So I earned ten quid and got an earsore from Ginny's talk about the man in question, until she finally decided to give up.

"Let's face it Hermione," she had said, a week ago. "If it hasn't happened by now, it most likely won't ever happen. The man is simply blind!"
Wherupon I eagerly praised her logic and discreetly commented on the cuteness of a certain friend of ours by the name of Harry. She nodded her head as if considering it and I made a mental cartwheel in the cafeteria.
Well. That was until the day Abraxas decided to approach me again.
We have been interacting very briefly in the hallway and such, but I always been suitably busy, so we have not had the time to do much more than exchange a simple 'hello' and 'how are you?'.

Today is different though.

I am seated in the library, doing a spellcheck on my homework as a stool is pulled out beside me.

"Hello stranger," the blond man says and I curse inwardly.

"Hi.. How are you Abraxas?" I say, trying to look extremely busy.

"Good, good. Listen, what do you say about getting together for a movie or something tonight? You can bring Tom if you like."

Well, there's a trap if I ever saw one.

"Oh I don't know Abraxas," I say, focusing on the screen of my laptop. "I have a paper I need to hand in next week.. I don't know if I'm able to make it."

"I'm sure you've already finished writing it! Come on Hermione, let loose for a change!"
Ugh. He used the term: 'let loose'. I'm not that wind up! And of course my paper is done already! It's due next week!

"Are you going to bring anybody?" I ask then.
The question startles him.

"Ehm, no.. I've checked and everyone's pretty much busy. I thought it would just be us three. Like the Riddle-siblings plus one."

"Oh, hm.." I turn my eyes to him then. He is sitting with his legs turned in my direction, looking very much like a puppy. An arrogant puppy of course - but still - a puppy. Who says no to puppys?

I sigh, cleaning of imaginary dust from the screen.

"Oh alright then.. But Tom can't come."

His eyes widens, but the act appears to be slightly fake. It does not surprise me, I have already figured out that this was his aim to begin with.

"As you will. Just you and me then." He gives off one of his famous smiles.

"You and me," I confirm, not really sure if I am regretting it yet. It might do to get out of the comfort zone. And a cinema seems like a quite harmless way to start.

Later, we meet up inside the cinema. Abraxas gives me a warm hug. As he take his jacket off, I notice that he has a fancy shirt on and gel in his hair, making it seem even more out of place. I did not even consider taming my own curls, thinking it pointless and an overly date-y thing to do.
In my head, we are joined by Ginny and Tom.
Even though Ginny says she has given up on Abraxas, I feel slighlty guilty for doing this it's-not-a-date-thing behind her back. Boys do appear to have a negative impact on the friendships of girls, that is no secret. But I tell myself that I will speak to her tomorrow; that I will explain it and she will hug me, maybe cry and yell a bit before we make up over ice cream. Yes. That's what we'll do.
Tom has joined us as himself. His true self and not the façade he has put on.
His presence never leaves my mind.

In the theatre, we are seated in the back. I insisted on getting my own popcorn and paying for it by myself, trying to kill the date-mood a bit. Abraxas did not seem to mind though.
And once in the dark, I can not help but think that this might not be so horrible. Abraxas is warm where Tom is cold. He smiles when Tom does not.
We are watching a drama of some sort but the intrigue passes me by. For the first time in weeks, I am allowing myself to think.
To think of what is and what might be.
It is such an emotional roller-coaster that I find silent tears rolling down my cheeks. Silent tears are fitting. I have always grieved in silence.
Abraxas does not notice. He is is regarding the screen with an indifferent face, seemingly not taking the movie in himself.
I turn my head slightly to watch him. He is handsome - there is no doubt. I am particulary fond of his nose. A roman nose with a sloping tip.
Feeling watched, he meets my eye.

"What?" he whispers.

"Nothing. I just.. It's just.. You're beautiful."
He lifts one eyebrow questioningly, as if doubting my words.

"So are you."

A silence passes. Dialogue are performed in the background.

Like sensing that something is wrong or different, he puts his hand on my thigh again. It has been three weeks since it layed there. His hand is warm and the touch comforting.

"Are you okay?" he then proceeds to ask, pulling his eyebrows together.
I smile shyly.

"I'm fine," I croak, trying to hold back more tears.

"Sure?"

"I'm just a little bit happy."
And as I say it, I realise that it is true. For some unexplicable reason, Abraxas makes me a little bit happy. For the first time in his presence, I do not feel uncomfortable or out of place – I feel good. Abraxas is good.
I want to do something out of character for Hermione. I want to embrace this new Hermione, so in an drug-like state I reach over and put my hand on his thigh too. He is wearing jeans and the material feels stiff under my hand. I let my fingers travel up his thigh until they reach that special place where I previously only felt my brother. But Tom is not important. This new Hermione is. Hermione and Abraxas. It has a good ring to it after all.
He jumps a little bit at the contact. Then his breathing is coming out hard and fast.

"You don't have to.."

"I want to," I find myself saying, pulling down his zipper as he puts down the popcorn on the empty seat beside him. Apart from us, the two rows in the back are empty. I do not know if I would care, were it not so.
I am Hermione Riddle. And I am oblivious to the world.
Pushing down his underwear and grasping his length, gently at first, then harder, I stroke him. His fingers on my thigh pushes down and I realise with joy that they will leave bruises.
He is watching me from under half-closed eyelids. The image is strangely erotic. The idea of it is strangely erotic: Hermione Granger is wanking of a man in the back of a theatre.
It is all so deliciously wrong in the right way.
Then, gripping my head and nestling the fingers of his free hand in my curls, he cums, filling my hand with his seed.
His forehead is on mine.
His breath is mingling with mine.
No one moves.
And it is all so very beautiful.

A/N: Hello lovely lovebugs! My inspiration has been coming up short these passing weeks. I blame the lack of sun and warmth in this god(s)forsaken (yet, I guess, kinda lovely) place. Throughout november, we've had a total estimate of five hours of sun. That's 99,2 % of living in the dark people! Well, gratefully there are other light-sources in my life. Hope you have them too! And oh, right now I'm sorta hyperactive, so I'm hoping to get a lot of writing done these upcoming days!

Regarding this chapter.. Well, it was necessary, for the direction I'm planning to head in, among other things. If you find it OOC for Hermione, it's because it is. People tend to do things that are out of character for them to discover who they really are. Simply put: this is Hermione exploring her sexuality. Also: this is Hermione rebelling against Tom. Soo.. If you're not an Abraxas/Hermione-shipper, I'm sorry. Tom/Hermione interaction will come up shortly! Like next chapter shortly.
Mhm, yeah, okay.. I think I'm gonna shut up now.
Unicorns.
Okay. Now I'm done talking.