Chapter 7 Into The Past
"Ready?" Daniel sat on the edge of the small bed, with the controller to the memory device in his hand.
"Absolutely, darling." Stretching out, Vala lay with her ankles crossed and arms folded behind her head. She looked as if she were reclining for an Impressionist artist. "Fire away."
The small round device had already been fixed to her temple. Daniel hesitated for a moment, smiled faintly, then touched the controller to the device.
Vala was gone, instantly. Her eyes widened in surprise, then glazed over and Daniel knew that she was no longer in the SGC isolation room but far away across the galaxy somewhere. He took her left hand in his own and held it loosely as he waited for her to return.
o – o – o – o – o –
It was partly like watching through glass, and partly like hearing it through headphones. Otherwise, Vala thought, it was as if she was right back in the body of Qetesh. The memories were jumping about – one moment she was in a village, terrified people prostrating before her. Next she was on a Ha'tak and she could see stars from the windows – she moved to watch, or rather, Qetesh did, as the ship moved into subspace. Then she saw a Temple, her temple, and Jaffa were moving about industriously. Next, another Ha'tak, but this time she was at war with – she didn't know, couldn't remember – she tried to speak, say something…
o – o – o – o – o –
"Hey."
Vala opened her eyes to see Daniel's face very close to her own. "I haven't done it yet," she told him, crossly.
"You were calling out. I didn't know if – if you needed a break."
Vala shook her head. "Nope. Not yet. Barely started, darling." She pulled gently at the control in Daniel's hand. "Start it again. It's alright."
He smiled, squeezed her hand, then set the device running again.
o – o – o – o – o –
Ba'al. He was very close to her, arms encircling her body, running his hands up and down her back. Qetesh arched against him, but in her mind she was thinking of ways to trap him, both him and.…
Ba'al broke away as Athena entered and all three crossed the room to the long window at the front of the Ha'tak. A united force – yes, Qetesh knew – they were going up against Kronos and Lord Yu. Below the spaceship many gliders and Alkesh were engaged in fighting their opponents.
Vala's subconscious was probing the memories – they weren't deep enough, she needed to go deeper…
She must have said it out loud, Daniel must have heard, because suddenly pain jolted briefly through her temple and the memories came faster, and with deeper resonance.
Athena and herself – in a plush, opulent interior somewhere – no, still not there – Vala remembered this as being a citadel dedicated to Qetesh. She had lived there for a while.
Ba'al again – her memories flashed forward. They were together - hot, bare flesh, his hands running up and down her body. His mouth was over her own, devouring her, crushing her – Qetesh might have put up with it but Vala couldn't breathe, she couldn't catch her breath – and the pain in her head was building…..
o – o – o – o – o –
"Vala!" Daniel's voice was worried.
She jumped awake, one hand grabbing at his fingers, her stormy gray eyes focusing slowly on the here and now. Pain was pulsing sporadically through her temple and she couldn't quite locate her voice properly.
"Are you okay?" Daniel watched her carefully, stroking her cheek softly with his free hand. "You looked like you were struggling to breathe – I stopped the device."
Vala nodded, letting go of his hand and rubbing her face with both of her own. The headache was dying away, she felt that she could go on.
"Vala?" Daniel wasn't going to let her get away with it. "What did you see?"
A long beat.
"Ba'al." She lay still, looking up at the ceiling.
"Okay." The archaeologist just sat next to her, waiting. A minute or so later she turned her head and smiled a crookedly at him.
"Go on. Do it again. But deeper – I have to go deeper." Vala's eyes were wide and swirling with emotion. "Daniel – again. Please." Her voice was very husky as she spoke.
Daniel nodded briefly. He swallowed – it was hurting him too, watching her struggle to find those old memories. He tightened his hold on the controller. "Ready?"
Vala nodded and he touched the device again.
o – o – o – o – o –
Straightaway she knew that this time was different. Voices were loud and echoing, the colours were wild, lights swirling. The pain in her head started up again immediately but she tried to ignore it.
Qetesh and Athena were arguing, then fighting – a proper cat fight - nails, teeth, hair pulling. Ba'al was laughing, deep and loud – the women were screaming at each other. Qetesh ran her nails down Athena's face, kicking her hard in her abdomen. The other Gou'ald hissed and retaliated by throwing Qetesh across the room – Vala felt the excruciating pain as her Gou'ald self smashed back against a long low table and tumbled onto the floor.
Then she was outside, alone, somewhere else now and busy killing errant Jaffa and unfortunate villagers with her ribbon device. Women and children were screaming, crying but she was laughing – Qetesh was laughing – turning away she headed towards a low, partially hidden, long and opulent building...no, no – this was her own home, it wasn't Athena's palace…she had to go deeper….
o – o – o – o – o –
Daniel could only watch as Vala first struggled under his clasp, then cried out. She screamed, over and over – she had to be in severe pain, wherever she was in that Gou'ald memory – at one point her back arched right off of the bed. And then she began to laugh, and it wasn't Vala laughing, it was Qetesh, the sound was hideous, stark, penetrating. Before he could retaliate however she'd stopped, and tears were rolling down her cheeks. Vala was sobbing uncontrollably, nose running, she tried to turn onto her side and scrunch up into a ball.
Daniel let her turn, but still kept hold of her hand – she gripped it fiercely as if it was her lifeline back to the real world.
"Deeper," she muttered. Her nose had begun bleeding and her breathing was erratic again – she went from stillness to huge shuddering gasps, over and over.
Daniel didn't know what to do. His own heart was in his boots, body cold with fear, but he had to trust her – she knew what she was doing….
"Deeper," her voice was little more than a whisper. "Please, Daniel."
He swallowed and touched the memory device again.
o – o – o – o – o –
The fleet of Alkesh landed – the palace visible only once they were on the planet. An oasis of trees and bushes surrounded it and kept it cool – water flowed through the centre of the beautiful and extravagant building then disappeared outside again, into the low, hidden gardens.
Athena's palace. Qetesh moved languidly through the shaded, golden hallways, her Jaffa surrounding her. But now it was night, and they were somewhere else – she and Athena were dining together but arguing again – always arguing.
Ba'al re-appeared in her memory – Ba'al and Athena together now. Qetesh didn't like that - she began to wreck her chambers, then Ba'al's chambers – another fight started, all three of them this time. She used a whip on Ba'al – he retaliated with a torture device that he produced from somewhere. Qetesh screamed and writhed on the ground but Athena wasn't going along with that – she started on Ba'al and the two women turned against him together.…
Qetesh stood in front of a Stargate – her own Stargate – she was going to Athena's palace – her First Prime dialled the DHD – Qetesh watched….
o – o – o – o – o –
Daniel hauled Vala up – she had screamed so loudly that he'd called out for someone to get Carolyn Lam down from the infirmary.
The alien woman was soaked with sweat, and tears, and blood – she was a sodden mess. Vala wasn't back yet, not fully – she tried to drag away from Daniel but only succeeded in slipping off onto the floor. He practically leaped across the bed to catch her – holding her arms as she struggled to dispel the memories which had been dragged from the past into the front of her memory.
"Hey, I've got you," Daniel rocked her slowly as her breathing began to steady and the sobs quietened down. "I'm here, you're back. It's okay – it's gone, it's in the past. You're here, you're with me. Open your eyes."
Vala opened them but could barely see – they were still swimming with tears, the whites bloodshot. Her head was pounding, if felt as if stabbing knives were digging into her skull. Voice choking up, she could barely speak but managed to stammer out - "Pen. Paper."
Daniel had them ready, he gently slipped the pen into a hand that shook so badly she could barely write legibly. And then it was there, in black and white – written in Vala's sad, spidery writing on a tear-splashed, blood stained, scruffy piece of paper.
The Stargate address to the planet where Athena was hiding.
o – o – o – o – o –
Vala lay completely exhausted on the infirmary bed.
A concerned Carolyn had brought her up there to recover after the ordeal, checking her over and pronouncing her considerably shaken but otherwise unharmed. She'd given her some painkillers, and a mild sleeping pill which was beginning to work it's magic.
Daniel had refused to leave – he sat next to Vala on the bed, his feet propped up on the chair alongside. One of the nurses' had brought a bowl of warm water and a towel - he had gently washed away the dried blood and tears which caked Vala's face, neck and chest.
She'd barely moved as he methodically tidied up the mess all over her - opening her eyes only once to whisper "Thank you Daniel."
He had smiled, but not answered, concerned more with cleaning her up. When he'd finished and begun to move away she'd whispered for him to come back, so he had, and now sat again on the bed, with Vala's hand in his own.
"How's your head?" he inquired eventually, when she sleepily opened her eyes.
"Better." A tiny smile tugged at her lips.
"And – you? Inside, I mean. In your head. I mean.." Daniel began to blush as he tried to get the words right.
Vala paused. Her face stilled, eyes silvered and uncertain in the reflection of the infirmary lights. She bit her lip. "I can handle it," she whispered. "I've done it before."
Daniel rubbed her cheek gently with his thumb. His expression was intent, eyes un-moving from her face. "I'm here," he told her in a low voice, the blush still in evidence. "You can share it with me. It's been too long, Vala – we've been apart too long. I've missed you."
There it was – his true feelings, almost, out in the world for her and everyone else to know and ridicule.
Except all she said was, "Missed you too." She squeezed his hand and huffed that nervous little giggle of her's.
Daniel's smile was wide and genuine. "I'm here for you," he repeated again.
"I know," And Vala finally believed him, after all the years together and apart. She could trust him with her heart and her life, he wouldn't leave her, he would be there to support her, always. She grinned too, but it was a very sleepy one. Turning onto her side Vala drew her legs up and wiithin a few seconds was asleep, black lashes spread like feathered fans beneath her eyes, blonde curls scattered across the pillow, face relaxed at last.
Daniel, checking that nobody was in the immediate vicinity, leaned up and swiftly and very lightly laid a kiss on Vala's cheek. Then he picked up a newspaper, propped his feet on the bar underneath the bed and sat on guard duty beside her.
TBC...